Re: baby spacing was BF-ing question

[Guest guest]

I don't think any time is easy when you have a newborn in the house and older

children too. There is a benefit to a big gap in that the older child can do

more for itself, help you, etc., but with such a large gap the siblings are

unlikely to be close friends, have each other as playmates, etc. There is 22

months between DS1 and DS2 and 2years 5 months between DS2 and DS3. I have to

confess that I find life more difficult now that the older two can do more for

themselves, because most of the time they don't do it and I spend my life

chasing them up and trying to get them to do whatever, such as get dressed for

school/nursery in the morning. When I knew that *I* would have to dress them, I

made allowances for it and life ran much more smoothly. However, I do *not*

want to be dressing them when they are teenagers, so they have to learn to do it

themselves at some point! But life is more stressful as a result. Looking

back, I don't remember life being dreadfully stressful because I had a new baby

in the house, but I *do* have a very " hands-on " father in the house who helps

out in the mornings as much as he can, so perhaps that makes a difference.

Alison

Chair, Maidstone branch and PNDL trainee

Hmm....this leads me on to question no.2. I want 4, DH wants 3

(worried we'll never be able to afford a 5 bed house in this part

of the world!!) and we're debating when to have them and not

really coming up with any conclusions as there seem to be pluses

and minuses to leaving a longish gap or having them all in a

clump. As a mum with three under 3, how d'you find it? Anyone

else...what are your experiences?

A good friend had her second recently as her first turned 19

months and she is finding it really really difficult and warning

me against it - but that's just one person!

(currently using the 'too knackered to do anything except sleep'

contraceptive system)

[Guest guest]

Why do you need a bigger house my lot get on fine in our three bed semi and

I would have more. As for gaps, I think its more personality of the children

as apposed to gaps as to how difficult life will be for you and you can't do

anything about that can you!!! BTW DH didn't really want any children when I

met him. Soon changed his ideas!!!!!

Dixon

NCT teacher/MSLC rep www.fortunecity.co.uk/picnicpark/rainbow/173

mum to 8, Jasmin 6, Polly 5, & Keira 2

PARENTHOOD IS THE GREATEST SINGLE PRESERVE OF THE AMATEUR....

baby spacing was BF-ing question

I want 4, DH wants 3

> (worried we'll never be able to afford a 5 bed house in this part

> of the world!!) pluses

> and minuses to leaving a longish gap or having them all in a

> clump. >

>

> (currently using the 'too knackered to do anything except sleep'

> contraceptive system)

>

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> eLerts

> It's Easy. It's Fun. Best of All, it's Free!

> http://click./1/3080/5/_/_/_/956662746/

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

>

>

[Guest guest]

We moved to a four bedroom house when we had our third, but we only used 3

of the bedrooms. The fourth room was a study/guest room. The house was

overall bigger than our standard 3-bed semi (all of the rooms were much

bigger plus huge garden).

We are now in an even bigger 4 bed house, but have the two boys sharing, and

the two girls sharing. We are using the 4th room as a place to store the

ironing.

It's easy for us having two boys followed by two girls - there aren't any

difficult decisions to make, thankfully.

The big change for us was in the car department (are we allowed to mention

this). We moved up to a MPV with our third child, and definitely need one

with four. Still have an extra seat, though.

Joyce

Our Wedding Album

http://albums.photopoint.com/j/AlbumIndex?u=170356 & a=5075394

> Why do you need a bigger house my lot get on fine in our three bed semi

and

> I would have more

[Guest guest]

> I want 4, DH wants 3

>(worried we'll never be able to afford a 5 bed house in this part

>of the world!!)

Don't know about spacing , - I'm sure that whichever way you do it

there will be good points and bad points. I don't think I could have coped

with less than the 2 and a bit years betwen each of mine, but similarly I'm

not sure I would have wanted to go on if I had started to get my life back

for me at any point - I have had 2 days in 7 years when I haven't changed a

nappy, and I enjoyed them so much that if I'd had any more, I would have

been hooked!

Anyway, the point that really panicked me about your post was the 5

bedrooms - we've got no 4 due in 3 weeks and haven't quite got round to

having the loft converted to turn our 3 bed house into a 4 bed. Plans are

currently being drawn up but planning permission will take about 8 weeks

(and we might not get it) then there will be 8 - 10 weeks of building work.

Aaaargh!

Lynda

SAHM to (7), (4), Fraser(2), EDD 18/5/00

Newsletter editor & general dogsbody, Mid-Northumberland branch

[Guest guest]

> I want 4, DH wants 3

>(worried we'll never be able to afford a 5 bed house in this part

>of the world!!)

Don't know about spacing , - I'm sure that whichever way you do it

there will be good points and bad points. I don't think I could have coped

with less than the 2 and a bit years betwen each of mine, but similarly I'm

not sure I would have wanted to go on if I had started to get my life back

for me at any point - I have had 2 days in 7 years when I haven't changed a

nappy, and I enjoyed them so much that if I'd had any more, I would have

been hooked!

Anyway, the point that really panicked me about your post was the 5

bedrooms - we've got no 4 due in 3 weeks and haven't quite got round to

having the loft converted to turn our 3 bed house into a 4 bed. Plans are

currently being drawn up but planning permission will take about 8 weeks

(and we might not get it) then there will be 8 - 10 weeks of building work.

Aaaargh!

Lynda

SAHM to (7), (4), Fraser(2), EDD 18/5/00

Newsletter editor & general dogsbody, Mid-Northumberland branch

[Guest guest]

> I want 4, DH wants 3

>(worried we'll never be able to afford a 5 bed house in this part

>of the world!!)

Don't know about spacing , - I'm sure that whichever way you do it

there will be good points and bad points. I don't think I could have coped

with less than the 2 and a bit years betwen each of mine, but similarly I'm

not sure I would have wanted to go on if I had started to get my life back

for me at any point - I have had 2 days in 7 years when I haven't changed a

nappy, and I enjoyed them so much that if I'd had any more, I would have

been hooked!

Anyway, the point that really panicked me about your post was the 5

bedrooms - we've got no 4 due in 3 weeks and haven't quite got round to

having the loft converted to turn our 3 bed house into a 4 bed. Plans are

currently being drawn up but planning permission will take about 8 weeks

(and we might not get it) then there will be 8 - 10 weeks of building work.

Aaaargh!

Lynda

SAHM to (7), (4), Fraser(2), EDD 18/5/00

Newsletter editor & general dogsbody, Mid-Northumberland branch

[Guest guest]

>Anyway, the point that really panicked me about your post was the 5

>bedrooms

But you *must* get a 5 bedroom house for when the ironing lady comes to stay

[Guest guest]

>Anyway, the point that really panicked me about your post was the 5

>bedrooms

But you *must* get a 5 bedroom house for when the ironing lady comes to stay

[Guest guest]

>Anyway, the point that really panicked me about your post was the 5

>bedrooms

But you *must* get a 5 bedroom house for when the ironing lady comes to stay

[Guest guest]

Have squished these into one reply cos otherwise I'll be flooding

the list with my ramblings!

Alison said

> I don't think any time is easy when you have a newborn in the

house and older children too<snip> but I *do* have a very

" hands-on " father in the house who helps out in the mornings as

much as he can, so >perhaps that makes a difference.

I think it would, definitely! I'm lucky (compared to quite a few

friends) as my DH is very good (both with Verity and

housework-wise, does all the washing and ironing cause I hate it

and it just sits there mouldering otherwise...)

said

> Why do you need a bigger house my lot get on fine in our three

bed semi and

> I would have more.

and Joyce said

> We moved to a four bedroom house when we had our third, but we

only used 3

> of the bedrooms. The fourth room was a study/guest room. The

house was

> overall bigger than our standard 3-bed semi (all of the rooms

were much

> bigger plus huge garden).

> We are now in an even bigger 4 bed house, but have the two boys

sharing, and

> the two girls sharing. We are using the 4th room as a place to

store the

> ironing.

Of course! Don't know what I was thinking of, assuming they'd

all have to have their own rooms! (Still haven't regained full

brain function following giving birth). Told DH tonight that we

wouldn't *have* to have 5 rooms and he perked up considerably!

We currently only have 2 bedrooms but the potential to

extend...(mind now whirring away on overtime!!!) As far as cars

go, well, it'd have to be either a LWB Land Rover or a Range

Rover, perfect for towing the horse to competitions and I've been

after one for *years*!

Lynda wrote

><snip> I'm

> not sure I would have wanted to go on if I had started to get

my life back

> for me at any point - I have had 2 days in 7 years when I

haven't changed a

> nappy, and I enjoyed them so much that if I'd had any more, I

would have

> been hooked!

mmm, that's what I wonder - is it better to get the whole thing

over with as you say (and as Anneliese's friend has done) or

space it much further out? DH is of the first school of

thought - think he's a bit concerned about being ancient by the

time the last one leaves university (doesn't bother me

particularly).

Thanks all for your thoughts, it's given us some ideas to mull

over.

[Guest guest]

said:

>> I want 4, DH wants 3

>>(worried we'll never be able to afford a 5 bed house in this part

>>of the world!!)

This is my plan - amended from the original " I want at least six... "

Everything tells me that the logical thing to do (for us) is stick at two.

Two children means average size house is adequate, small car is big enough,

financial stability, Rob's company life assurance will be sufficient in the

event that it's needed etc etc. But......

There is a part of me that feels I should have 3 children - perhaps because

I am a 3rd child? Also, I feel that at just 30 years old, I'm too young to

have completed my family. So... my plan is to wait until Caitlin is around

5 years old before making a decision - by which time I think I will know

whether my family feels complete.

This plan is, of course, subject to any amendments I might wish to make!

Luckily, Rob says he is happy to go along with whatever I want.

In the meantime, I have not got rid of any baby clothes.....

McVeigh

Newsletter Editor & Secretary, Leighton Buzzard & District

SAHM to (AKA Tiff Toff) the pantophobic, DOB 19/9/97

& Caitlin (AKA Cake Tin) the suckaholic, DOB 12/1/00

Photo Album:

http://albums.photopoint.com/j/AlbumIndex?u=697874 & a=5085964

[Guest guest]

I'll just get into ranting mode as I have a real complex about this number

of bedrooms thing. I belomg to a very well off branch, and live on the

borders in a fairly poor area (SE18 the poorest postcode in London!)

Everyone was horrified when I announced that I was pregnant with no 2 as

they thought it was irresponsible of me to have 2 kids in a 2 bed terrace.

Mind you, someone told me it was irrespionsible to have another child when I

couldn't afford private education for one! Someone else told me if I had a

girl, I would hve to move before was 7 to avoid prosecution. ( a

warped translation of govt guidelines on overcrowding) *luckily* no2 was a

boy, although people are still fairly horrified they have to share. (hee

hee, will probably have no3 here too!)

BTW my 2 are 2y 9mths apart, and it is lovely. DS1 never got jealous either,

or in any way more difficult - course that could be cos he was so difficult

that he couldn't think of anything to make him more difficult! And they love

each other to bits, and are very physically affectionate. They do squabble

and fight, but at heart, adore each other. And I found having DS2 was so

much easier than DS1 it was easier than having only one first time round,

IYKWIM. Down to feeling better, BTDT, the fact that DS1 was a demon, and DS2

so much better than I expected. Tried to put DS1 first as he was the one

who'd had all the upheaval, but he kept telling me to pick up baby, he's

crying / or to feed him. I do think DS1 just sawhis brother as another

adoring fan. (ego the size of a planet!)

[Guest guest]

>>Everything tells me that the logical thing to do (for us) is stick

at two.

>Two children means average size house is adequate, small car is big enough,

>financial stability, Rob's company life assurance will be sufficient in the

>event that it's needed etc etc. But......

>

>There is a part of me that feels I should have 3 children - perhaps because

>I am a 3rd child? Also, I feel that at just 30 years old, I'm too young to

>have completed my family. So... my plan is to wait until Caitlin is around

>5 years old before making a decision - by which time I think I will know

>whether my family feels complete.

, i think you aren't the same person as rachael you are the same

person as me (excpt that i'm 33!!) but i could have written that...

angi

tim thinks 2 is plenty though!!

[Guest guest]

said:

>This is my plan - amended from the original " I want at least six... "

Grae and I both wanted three before we had one (we're both from families

of three). When I was pregnant, I decided I wanted four. He's never

budged from 3.

I've now decided I don't want any more. We have been 'trying' for just

over a year but I've noticed that during that time I've used what I've

learned about my body to deliberately avoid conceiving, for one reason

or another.

Yesterday I cleared out all the baby clothes except for the ones hand-

knitted by my mum and the very first sleepsuit Steffi wore. The room

earmarked as a nursery is being turned into a playroom - someone's

coming in tomorrow to skim it.

--

Sue

[Guest guest]

Probably means that you'll get pregnant as soon as the room is finished, Sue!

Alison

Chair, Maidstone branch and PNDL trainee

I've now decided I don't want any more. We have been 'trying' for just

over a year but I've noticed that during that time I've used what I've

learned about my body to deliberately avoid conceiving, for one reason

or another.

Yesterday I cleared out all the baby clothes except for the ones hand-

knitted by my mum and the very first sleepsuit Steffi wore. The room

earmarked as a nursery is being turned into a playroom - someone's

coming in tomorrow to skim it.

--

Sue

[Guest guest]

No Angi - I think you must be the same person as me (well I'm nearly 33

anyway) brain says stick at 2, instinct sees tiny baby & says I want

another.

Cerys

>

>

> , i think you aren't the same person as rachael you are the same

> person as me (excpt that i'm 33!!) but i could have written that...

> angi

> tim thinks 2 is plenty though!!

>

[Guest guest]

> , i think you aren't the same person as rachael you are the same

> person as me (excpt that i'm 33!!) but i could have written that...

Me too! and i'm 33, so perhaps I'm you Angi.

[Guest guest]

> , i think you aren't the same person as rachael you are the same

> person as me (excpt that i'm 33!!) but i could have written that...

Me too! and i'm 33, so perhaps I'm you Angi.

[Guest guest]

> , i think you aren't the same person as rachael you are the same

> person as me (excpt that i'm 33!!) but i could have written that...

Me too! and i'm 33, so perhaps I'm you Angi.

[Guest guest]

said........Everyone was horrified when I announced that I was pregnant

with no 2 as

they thought it was irresponsible of me to have 2 kids in a 2 bed

terrace........... Someone else told me if I had a girl, I would hve to move

before was 7 to avoid prosecution. ( a

warped translation of govt guidelines on overcrowding)

----------

My sister brought up her two children [i boy, I girl] in a two bed house.

When the children got older my sister and her DH had a bedsettee downstairs

so the children had a room each. AFAIK, the rule about opposite sexes not

sharing rooms applies to council housing only.

Lesley

[Guest guest]

said...............DH is of the first school of thought - think he's

a bit concerned about being ancient by the time the last one leaves

university (doesn't bother me particularly).

-----------

We didn't really plan our family at all, hence, DH will be 73 when DD2

finishes uni! Not me, though ...........I'm *years* younger than him.

Lesley

[Who retired to bed with migraine on her DH's birthday yesterday, poor

chap!]

[Guest guest]

> My sister brought up her two children [i boy, I girl] in a two bed house.

> When the children got older my sister and her DH had a bedsettee

downstairs

> so the children had a room each. AFAIK, the rule about opposite sexes not

> sharing rooms applies to council housing only.

Yes, sorry that's what I as trying to say. It's the fact that people think

we should be prosecuted for it that I find mad. As Horn would say,

were she on list, 100 years ago, I'd have had a dozen children, and been

grateful for having such a big house!

Anyway, my 2 love sharing. decided a while ago, that he'd like a

bigger house with an extra bedroom. When I asked if he wanted his own room,

he said in a horrififed tone, " No, I just wanted a room just for the toys " .

Aw