Rambling thoughts

[Guest guest]

Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you ' re in bed with a relative. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with ' Guess ' on it.So I said ' Implants? ' She hit me. How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America ? Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can ' t even get into my own pants. I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn ' t have signed up in the first place! When I was young we used to go ' skinny dipping, ' now I just ' chunky dunk. ' Never argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference. Wouldn ' t it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press ' Ctrl Alt Delete ' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !! Why is it that our children can ' t read a Bible in school, but they can in prison? Wouldn ' t you know it....Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever. Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside? Bumper sticker of the year: ' If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it ' s inEnglish, thank a soldier ' And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.