Making MY choices

[Guest guest]

OK, so today I had a lunch date with the volunteer coordinator for

the hospice I volunteer with. I have become great friends w/ this

lady. Our backgrounds are very different, but have both struggled

with food/emotional eating issues. She recently (maybe 8 months

ago) had the lapband surgery, so our approaches to health have been

different, but we really enjoy each other. Anyway, I had picked

's Deli to meet at over a week ago. I'm always comfortable

there b/c there are so many safe options on the salad bar and I can

eat alot and not feel like a bad person.

So this morning I realized I was really starting to stress about

this lunch. I usually leave 's feeling bloated, over-salted

and gassy but i don't know what else to eat there. So, in an effort

to Reconnect, I journaled before I went and realized that per some

of my other journaling I shouldn't have just plain salad for lunch

anymore if I want to feel good. Also, an unlimited buffet is always

a temptation for me to at least have seconds (on safe food). So I

decided to check out the menu online, so I could be 'prepared' and

get a sandwich or a premade salad with some chicken on it. Instead,

I did end up wasting about an hour meticulously comparing the

caloric content of every menu item. I finally turned off the

computer and journaled some more.

When I met , she said she wasn't going to eat b/c she can't

handle large amounts and she'd just eaten something. TRIGGER!! I

felt like i could never eat in front of her now, I wasn't at a 2,

maybe I should just wait, but I also knew that my body needed

something and I can't base my decisions or my body's needs on anyone

else's criteria, decisions, habits or thoughts. So I quickly looked

up at the menu and ordered a sandwich that hadn't been online!! It

was still a fairly safe option, but I did it!! And then I thought,

OK, only eat half at least don't look like you really want the

food. But instead, I ate the whole d**g thing and it wasn't bad!!

When I stood up I didn't feel bloated or fat. It came with a

preportioned side of steamed veggies and I felt healthy and strong.

Ever since though my mind has vacillated between ED's logic, " you

failed!! You ate 1. in front of someone, 2. something other than a

salad, 3. ate the whole thing 4. she didn't eat -so you had an

excuse to skip too, 5. you don't even hate yourself enough! "

The other side of my brain (Abby's side) is saying " H**L yeah!! I

made my choice based on MY body's needs. i wasn't manipulated by

someone else's idea of health or restraint or how their body felt. "

I called my younger sister on the way home and told her. She's very

non-judgmental and just listens. In fact, she shared a similar

story with me about a lunch trip recently with a very skinny friend

of hers who went on and on about 'being on a diet' and then

commented on what my sister ordered (it included bread). And my

sister, stood up for her own choice and defended her normal eating

habits even while arguing with the voice in her own head. It was

comforting to hear that she has doubts about her food too sometimes,

even though I would consider her 'normal'.

OK, thanks for listen girls, but if I don't get this out, I'll never

process it or remember the small successes.!

IE blessings to all!

[Guest guest]

Abby,

This is awesome, congratulations! Sounds

like you are really making progress.

Thank you for sharing your experiences. I

know many people here will really benefit from your posts.

Thanks!

Gillian

Gillian Hood-son,

MS, ACSM

Healthier Outcomes

Get your copy of " 6 Simple Steps

to Guilt Free Eating " by visiting http://www.healthieroutcomes.com

From: IntuitiveEating_Support [mailto:IntuitiveEating_Support ] On Behalf Of Abby

Sent: Thursday, April 10, 2008

12:07 PM

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Subject:

Making MY choices

OK, so today I had a lunch date with the volunteer

coordinator for

the hospice I volunteer with. I have become great friends w/ this

lady. Our backgrounds are very different, but have both struggled

with food/emotional eating issues. She recently (maybe 8 months

ago) had the lapband surgery, so our approaches to health have been

different, but we really enjoy each other. Anyway, I had picked

's Deli to meet at over a week ago. I'm always comfortable

there b/c there are so many safe options on the salad bar and I can

eat alot and not feel like a bad person.

So this morning I realized I was really starting to stress about

this lunch. I usually leave 's feeling bloated, over-salted

and gassy but i don't know what else to eat there. So, in an effort

to Reconnect, I journaled before I went and realized that per some

of my other journaling I shouldn't have just plain salad for lunch

anymore if I want to feel good. Also, an unlimited buffet is always

a temptation for me to at least have seconds (on safe food). So I

decided to check out the menu online, so I could be 'prepared' and

get a sandwich or a premade salad with some chicken on it. Instead,

I did end up wasting about an hour meticulously comparing the

caloric content of every menu item. I finally turned off the

computer and journaled some more.

When I met , she said she wasn't going to eat b/c she can't

handle large amounts and she'd just eaten something. TRIGGER!! I

felt like i could never eat in front of her now, I wasn't at a 2,

maybe I should just wait, but I also knew that my body needed

something and I can't base my decisions or my body's needs on anyone

else's criteria, decisions, habits or thoughts. So I quickly looked

up at the menu and ordered a sandwich that hadn't been online!! It

was still a fairly safe option, but I did it!! And then I thought,

OK, only eat half at least don't look like you really want the

food. But instead, I ate the whole d**g thing and it wasn't bad!!

When I stood up I didn't feel bloated or fat. It came with a

preportioned side of steamed veggies and I felt healthy and strong.

Ever since though my mind has vacillated between ED's logic, " you

failed!! You ate 1. in front of someone, 2. something other than a

salad, 3. ate the whole thing 4. she didn't eat -so you had an

excuse to skip too, 5. you don't even hate yourself enough! "

The other side of my brain (Abby's side) is saying " H**L yeah!! I

made my choice based on MY body's needs. i wasn't manipulated by

someone else's idea of health or restraint or how their body felt. "

I called my younger sister on the way home and told her. She's very

non-judgmental and just listens. In fact, she shared a similar

story with me about a lunch trip recently with a very skinny friend

of hers who went on and on about 'being on a diet' and then

commented on what my sister ordered (it included bread). And my

sister, stood up for her own choice and defended her normal eating

habits even while arguing with the voice in her own head. It was

comforting to hear that she has doubts about her food too sometimes,

even though I would consider her 'normal'.

OK, thanks for listen girls, but if I don't get this out, I'll never

process it or remember the small successes.!

IE blessings to all!