Re: Re: The sick body not the sick role---- a big difference (and a question for the moderators)

[Guest guest]

Well. Being fairly new here, I've not replied to this subject. I won't

attack anyone. It's not my nature to do so.

The only expert that I am, is that of my own body. I've struggled with not

only FMS, but major depression (that's a diagnosis) and anxiety, along with

other ailments. There was certainly a time when I was completely hopeless.

and was truly in a place where the thought of living another moment was out

of the question for me. I'll be honest and say that I've had more than one

suicide attempt...but it's been a couple of years ago. (Just in case anyone

wonders, having your stomach pumped is not a fun evening.)

Having three kids, I have always had to " keep going " ...sounds silly to say

when I've just admitted to being suicidal, but there's not much judgment

going on in my head when the suicidal thoughts hit), so I kept my head down

and kept moving, thanks to my husband, doctor, medication, and talk therapy.

The kids are grown now and I work 40/hrs/week. I have no energy on the

weekends. (I sleep most of my weekends away and feel like a lazy bum because

of it..but there it is, what can I say?) I don't clean like I once did and I

never cook. Hubby does ALL the cooking these days. My goal each day is to

just make it through the day without hurting myself or anyone else and

climbing back into bed for hopefully a good night's sleep.

There are times when I complain about my ailments a lot and there are other

times when I don't mention it. I feel like I'm on a see-saw or a roller

coaster, and I can't get off!

This post probably has nothing to do with nothing except to say that I'm

very sorry that we all suffer from this disease and other diseases and I

think we need to be easy on ourselves and others.

Now, to the mods. Fibro-fogged that I am, I've tried to go to web only, but

I can't remember my user name or password. How funny is that!!?? Is there

any way you mods can make it to where I can go to web only? While I'd love

to answer each and every email, I just do not have the time, so I'll have to

pick and choose. I hate that, but as long as I'm working full-time, I just

can't keep up with this volume of email. There are very nice folks here and

I've found this to be a great and caring group, but I'm swamped.

Mods--can you help me?

Healing, soft hugs to *everyone*

Rickye

-- Re: The " sick body " not the " sick role " ---- a big difference

I never said people weren't sick. If you read my email, you will see

That I clearly say that people who ARE ill develop the sick role. The

Sicker the person, the more likely the role is to develop. The problem

With the sick role is that it cripples people as much as the illness,

People start to believe that they are too ill to function, and they give

Up on themselves, preferring to be really good at being sick instead of

Being really bad at being well. They don't recognise the option- not

Being either sick or well, but just being.Adapting.

All of you who cast judgement on my illness or health- you are

Hypocrites- to label me as a hypocrite, to label me as not ill enough to

Have an opinion, you yourself have done the same thing of which you

Accuse me. Instead of reading the MESSAGE you chose to read the words,

And instead of finding something useful, healing, in what I said, you

Chose to react- how dare I challenge you to seek wellness - meaning as

Well as you can be given the limitations you have- so many of you have

Chosen to defend your right to be helpless and hopeless. THAT is far

More a tragedy than your illness could ever be.

Those who said that what I suggested- exercise, good diet and hope-

Were dangerous need to get reading and learning about their illness. The

Real tragedy in FM is that the only way out is through the most

Difficult pathway. That is evidence based.

Me? You won't believe a word I say because in order for me not to be

True about you you have to judge me. The harder you work to judge, the

More vitriolic you become the more truthful you know I am. And I know it

To- attacking me proves what I am saying about you. I went from fine

Except for surviving two bouts of cancer to being practically wheelchair

Bound, with a back that is so damaged it will never heal, unable to type

Except with voice software, unable to do the fine arts for which I was

Trained, unable to play a musical instrument, unable to swim as I had

Once done competitively, unable to practice my career as I wish, and

Pain for which the medications I need put me practically in a coma. Yes,

I have pain. But I am not going to let pain stop me from having a life,

Because then it wins. I am not going to feel sorry for myself, or expect

My husband or family to listen to me constantly talking about the

Tragedy my life has become- because this illness has given me insight,

Made me stronger, made me more compassionate and empathetic, and more

Realistic. And I refuse to feel sorry for myself, and since I have come

To that place, things are better. I am coming out the other side of this

Bereavement- until you grieve and heal, you are stuck in the sick role,

No matter how you phrase it, justify it, or defend it, or argue against

Someone else like me.

Those of you who attack me, I forgive you. Thank you to the many who

Sent me private emails, talking about your frustration with the whining

And constant banging on that some people have, being entitled to be the

Only ones who need attention, love and support. Far many more people

Have written in support than those who posted here against me, because

They realised my message was one of hope, phrased toughly to get

Noticed, but hope. They can't post openly because too many people cope

With their own pain by inflicting it on others. When there is one person

Who can't speak, you are all prevented from being free, and you need to

See that. You don't have to like me- but if I can fire you up to fight,

Then its worth it. When you stop fighting, you die. Just fight the right

Thing.

Bethann