's Obit

[Guest guest]

> I must not be understanding your post..

---Hi Kaye,

Just that an email to my inbox from someone here would have been

justified I think. I had been contacted to write to him, for his

memory book, and to partake on fund raisiing prior, through my email.

To have learned of his death that way, instead of way later..... that

is all I was saying. Then I could have joined in with response to his

widow, prayers for his family, etc......

I do hope, if there are others that were part of this 'family' that

have not been informed, someone might take it upon themselves to do that.

Alwys the Best, Betty B.

ps. Nothing wrong it telling things how they are. There was no hate -

nor nothing negative associated with that (but disappointment in

failure to pass on death of a friend - from a friend (s), Tell me you

wouldn't be disappointed if that happened to you.... This isn't about

me, it was about what could have been done more timely for the

family,,, and we all need prayers, and family. My life has changed,

but the love I feel from my family and God has not...Thank you.

And I know Kaye, you all have pressing matters to attend to as well.

You have been super to all here, 'self included. Take Care & God Bless.

[Guest guest]

<<.....Betty, why would I think you would read my e-mail if you do

not read the other e-mails that would have keep you updated...we are

all hopefully able to come here or read the post e-mails..I had no

way of knowing you did not know or was not reading your e-mails..for

that matter you did not know if I was reading either...life goes both

ways..I am sure I have missed some things of importance on here..but

I do not hold anyone but myself responsible for me keeping up..I am

not trying to hurtful..but do not understand your trying to put the

blame on me or anyone else on this list for you not reading or

keeping up with your mail...sorry...if there are others of

this " family " that do not know I am sorry but I do not have a majical

way of knowing that without e-mailing each person individually...>>

********I agree with you Kaye .......there is absolutely NO WAY for

any of us to know whether someone is reading every post or not.

First, everyone does this differently. I choose to come directly to

this webpage several times a day to keep up. I didn't like having

them come to my e-mail address. But others do like it that way .....

However, as a board member I have no way of knowing (nor should I

have to) which way another board member has chosen. Everyone has to

take responsibility for themselves here. Enough is enough. As you

said, let's move on. If anyone out there finds they are missing

posts (because they ARE NOT set up to receive every post straight to

their e-mail address) they can go in to their profile and change it

so that they do receive each and every one on a daily or weekly

basis. And remember ......... no one else knows how you are set

up. :-)

Donna S.

[Guest guest]

>.well I bet that and want more..greedy huh...sorry you feel

someone...me or anyone else should contacted you personally...this is

an open forum...and I grieve at every loss of a member and every time

we do not get good news....so please lets put this aside

----- Hi Kaye ( and other friends) Yes, I know you fell, and have

these things on your plate, I had came back and read some posts abit

ago. I say prayers for those on this list facing problems.....

I as some other I am sure, had choose no email, to come and read when

time permitted. Guess you know I am not finding fault with anyone in

paticular, and yes, speaking honestly about how disappointed I was (a

small thing I know, but lost a best friend, and then that mattered) I

don't expect 's family to do any more than they have, which is a

lot. But, as others who might have been an important part of this

group family, here we are spilling our guts out about how this cancer

affects our life, our heart, our sex life and everything on top of

that.....after all this, one has the right to feel you are a good

friend, and if this attitude of what has happened here, happened to

me, can happen to you too. If there are others who have unsubscribed

and haven't been informed, it is the personal touch from someone on

this list who knows them, that they were listed as a dear friend of

, that they would want to know.... to perhaps take a sec and

email them (not having unsubscribed, but not getting emails to update

on anything, just coming here to read as able.....)

Maybe the difinition (sp) of a friend is what should be at issue.....

(and no, D.S. I am not going to defend myself to your post which is

all wet, by all counts, untrue every word of it..... I am true blue, a

good friend, one who would never publicly try to be judgemental or

downgrading to another, and still say we are friends after something

like that.....) So, if this is the case, and any feeling of a need to

defend this bb, or if someone is wearing their heart on their sleeve,

I predict this bb won't last a year. Is this the future of a family

friend, one who is going to be downgraded so quickly? If this is how

one is treated, it too, can happen again if you let it. Let's not be

this way. One needs the feedom to be a friend, to be themselves

without being judged, to have another put words in someone's mouth or

actions that are just unreal,,,,, we all need to be a hand to others.

Nothing was done out of place, I always have given as good as I got...

true blue friend who will listen and stand by unconditionally, that is

a friend... What would it have hurt to say, gee, you're right, a quick

email to you would have been the right thing to do. Instead......

--copy--- http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Cinema/8545/abc.html

The ABC's of Friendship

Always be honest. Would you want THEM to lie to you?

Be there when they need you ... or you may wind up alone.

C heer them on. We all need encouragement now and then.

Don't look for their faults, even if you think you have none.

Encourage their dreams. What would we be without them?

F orgive them. You just MAY do something wrong sometime.

Get together often. Misery loves company, so does joy.

Have faith in them. The human animal is remarkable.

Include them. You may need to be included sometime.

Just be there when they need you.

Know when they need a hug, and couldn't you use one too?

L ove them unconditionally. That is the ONLY condition.

Make them feel special, because aren't we ALL special?

Never forget them. Who wants to feel forgotten?

O ffer to help and know when " No thanks " is just politeness.

Praise them honestly and openly.

Quietly disagree. Noisy " NO's " make enemies.

R eally listen. A friendly ear is a soothing balm.

Say you're sorry. Don't let them assume it.

Talk frequently. Communication is important.

U se good judgment.

Verbalize your feelings!

Wish them luck ... hopefully good!

X -amine your motives before you " help " out.

Your words count. Use them wisely.

Zip your lips when told a secret.

By following these ABC's as often as you are able,

you SHOULD live a LONG and friend-filled life.

~ Author Unknown ~

---end copy--- Kate and all, the very best 2004 and more to you.

Please take the very best care of you and yours....I care about you

all. Glad to see that you are positive minded Kaye, I too, wish to put

it aside. The mistake isn't any real big deal, as keeping all the

friends that one has is.. God Bless....

http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Cinema/8545/abc.html

[Guest guest]

I really don't know what " the right thing would have been in this

circumstance. I can appreciate that many of the caregivers who have lost someone

probably

don't come to our site often. So what do we do now try to track them all

down?

I guess if you *converse* with board members off board it would be a kind

gesture to e-mail them about members who have significant changes good or bad so

they might still feel that they are welcome here.

Perhaps Betty's tone is not appropriate but I think the underlying feeling

that she may have is: Am I important now that I am not facing cancer any longer?

Of course the answer is YES

But I think Betty might feel she's now insignificant here because we did not

take the time to contact her. Make sense?

For you lurkers just because your loved one is no longer battling cancer be

it because of remission or unfortunately death WE STILL LOVE YOU AND WELCOME

YOU HERE.

It just is so hard via an e-mail list to know what your status is.

If you let us know maybe some of us can keep you up to speed.

Check in yourselves to

Betty and others

WE DO CARE!

God Bless

Narice