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Moving Beyond Blame

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Venting feels good and is a necessary part of healing, whether you plan to

leave your relationship (or go NC), stay, or just aren't sure.

But people can get stuck at this stage. It's easy to post about what your BP

is doing to bug you. It's harder-but absolutely vital-to move beyond this

and learn and practice skills that will enable you to create a better life

for yourself (again, no matter what your plans--or lack of plans--are about

the relationship). This doesn't mean you're " wrong. " It means that you have

more control over your life than you think you do. And that's good news!

So where do you learn this skills? One option is reading my new book, " The

Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder: Tips and Tools to

Stop Walking on Eggshells. " I wrote this book because non-BPs are not born

knowing how to cope-they need to be TRAINED. And that's exactly what EFG

does.

I'm thinking about ways to help explain and reinforce the skills I cover in

the book. I'm toying with the idea of group training on the telephone

combined with a private online group where you can talk about the skills and

get feedback from me and other students. Is this something you would be

interested in? If so, please email me.

One way to take care of yourself is to take time to come to Nashville in

July (see below). BTW, someone asked me what to tell their partner about

coming. My answer is, " I'm going to be seeing friends. " Taking this time for

yourself is crucial, and this offers you the great opportunity to do that.

Randi Kreger

Randi @BPDCentral.com

Author, " The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder "

(Available at www.BPDCentral.com)

What can you hope for from this trip to Nashville?

How often do we get to share our stories in a safe environment with people

that understand because we are all going through the same or similar turmoil

in our lives?

This trip to Nashville could be one of those opportunities to make real

changes in your life; or to help someone else (by sharing your experiences)

move along their chosen path with greater ease. We are not professional

counselors, therapists or social workers; we are a group of ordinary people

who have experienced the same life altering turmoil of living with and

loving someone that suffers from BPD.

When people come into a group and interact freely with other members, they

find opportunities to learn about themselves in many different ways. The

group is able to give support, feedback and offer alternatives; people begin

to see that they are not alone.

It is very important that we all feel safe; the climate of trust that will

be presented by those that attend this " non professional " session in

Nashville will hopefully help people feel free to care about and help each

other. To express their concerns, receive feedback, expand on developing

coping techniques, and to provide a more personal experience then they

receive on the internet.

You control what, how much, and when you share with the group; most people

find that when they feel safe enough to share what is troubling them, a

group setting can be very helpful and affirming, much more so then

one-on-one sessions. How much you talk about yourself and your personal

relationships depends upon what you are comfortable with.

It has been said that the last stage of learning is teaching; our appeal is

for teachers who have learned a thing or two, and are willing to share their

experiences with the rest of us. In reality we are all students and

teachers and to help someone else for the sake of simply helping is a

blessed thing worthy of our consideration.

We hope that you will join us in Nashville; July 17-19 for this healing

experience.

Contact at bebons@... <mailto:bebons%40comcast.net>

<mailto:bebons@... <mailto:bebons%40comcast.net> > if you

are interested in attending and for more details. You can also download

a flyer at www.bebons.com/Artwork/Nashville20%Flyer.pdf

<http://www.bebons.com/Artwork/Nashville20%25Flyer.pdf>

<http://www.bebons.com/Artwork/Nashville20%Flyer.pdf

<http://www.bebons.com/Artwork/Nashville20%25Flyer.pdf>

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