Re: OT: A different sort of pregnancy post-- aka if you can't beat it, what can you do but laugh?

[Guest guest]

You aren’t the

only one with this problem, my son Ken is in the same boat. The only difference is people mention

his “beer belly”.

Just remind yourself

of their motivation – they are just trying to be nice/polite or in Ken’s

case funny. They have no idea that what

they say may/can hurt. They also don’t

want or need your “liver story”, and it’s none of their business

anyway, so why not just say – “I’m not pregnant” and

let it go at that? They won’t

question you after that and will probably just reply I’m sorry. After all your job is to teach right, and

believe me after living through their embarrassment they won’t ever again

ask or make comment on another woman’s stomach.

Barb in Texas

-----Original Message-----

From: Shauna

I guess I

have no choice but to laugh about his...

Anyhoo, if

anyone has any suggestions for a gracious bon mot or two that I

can have as

a stock reply, I would be very grateful!

[Guest guest]

I don't have any quirky comebacks but I did want to tell you you're

not alone. I had 8 people in 2 months ask me. At least you have a

medical reason for looking that way. My only excuse is that I'm just

fat! I have lost 23 lbs in the last 3 months though. I know how much

like crap those comments can make you feel though. Sorry people are

so insensitve and I understand how you feel!

Bobbi

[Guest guest]

Shauna,

Well, it certainly is one of those you-can-either-laugh-or-cry moments in life. I'm sure you have done both. So what can you say? I can't think of the perfect thing. I do have a few suggestions depending on your mood and the person who makes the comment. I used to have my high school students ask me pretty outrageous/inappropriate questions or make some off-the-wall comments. My standard comment was "I can't believe you said/asked that." This has worked remarkably well for me in all kinds of situations. I have admired Jackie O over the years and her ability to remain a private person. I understand that she would just look through people who approached her in public--as if they weren't there. There is also the oblivious approach, "What are you talking about?" You could also turn the tables with, "How awkward for you; I'm not pregnant."

Now, I must defend these foot-in-mouth, diarrhea-of-the-mouth people. I have (on more than one occasion) said some pretty dumb stuff to people. I have left parties wondering why I couldn't keep my mouth shut, why I thought everything I said was so witty and important. My mother always taught me that it was worse to take offense than to give it. I try to remember that when people say insensitive and hurtful things to me. Most people don't mean any harm. Of course, there are those gossipy people who love to "talk about what's happening in everyone else's life." Well, once again, I am rambling on. I know I haven't been posing much. I've been having some pretty trying times here. I do read all the posts regularly. I think of you often. Take care,

Cheryl Berg, Idaho 45Married 25 years, 4 children, 3 grchildrenPSC 01, UC 00, Fibromyalgia, hypothyroid,hiatal hernia, ulcer, gall baldder removed '93disability (retired English teacher)

Dear All,>I wish you and your baby great luck.>Thank you very much.I guess I have no choice but to laugh about his...Of course, many pregnant women do indeed look beautiful but nothing kills a conversation like "uh, I am not pregnant but thanks for asking."Anyhoo, if anyone has any suggestions for a gracious bon mot or two that I can have as a stock reply, I would be very grateful!Shauna (29, AIH'86, Crohns'95, PSC'99, listed @ Duke, MELD =16, and not pregnant)

[Guest guest]

how about...

"well, I wish it was a baby but unfortunately it's just a damm spleen"

that should shut them up.

"Two cannibals are eating a clown - one says to the other.."does this taste funny to you?"

> >Reply-To: >To: >Subject: OT: A different sort of pregnancy post-- aka if you can't beat it, what can you do but laugh? >Date: Thu, 24 Jun 2004 01:26:21 -0400 (EDT) > >Dear All, > >I thought you might get a kick out of the following email I received from >one of my students (following today's final exam) -- Just one little >example of the "vanity costs" of chronic illness! > > >I wish you and your baby great luck. > >Thank you very much. > >Excuse me? Baby? As in I must be pregnant? Can I fail her for this >comment? (Just kidding...) She's the second person in less than a week to >ask me about my "baby!" (In fact, it is my "massive" spleen - that's a >quote from my doc- plus perhaps some ascites that are the cause of the >pregnancy look!) Neither are the first to have such comments. (Sales >clerks are especially fond of steering me to the maternity section of the >store!) A friend of mine has suggested that I go to Wal-Mart and >get some of those "Baby on Board" maternity clothes and alter them to say >"Massive Spleen on Board." She also thinks that I should try to collect >TANF Single mother welfare & Medicaid benefits. > >I guess I have no choice but to laugh about his... > >Of course, many pregnant women do indeed look beautiful but nothing kills >a conversation like "uh, I am not pregnant but thanks for asking." > >Anyhoo, if anyone has any suggestions for a gracious bon mot or two that I >can have as a stock reply, I would be very grateful! > >Shauna >(29, AIH'86, Crohns'95, PSC'99, listed @ Duke, MELD =16, and not pregnant) > > > >