Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder

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Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. -Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.This is how it manifests:I decide to water my garden.As I turn on the hose in the driveway,I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.As I start toward the garage,I notice mail on the porch table thatI brought up from the mail box earlier.I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.I lay my car keys on the table,put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,and notice that the can is full.So, I decide to put the bills backon the table and take out the garbage first.But then I think,since I'm going to be near the mailboxwhen I take out the garbage anyway,I may as well pay the bills first.I take my check book off the table,and see that there is only one check left.My extra checks are in my

desk in the study,so I go inside the house to my desk whereI find the can of Coke I'd been drinking.I'm going to look for my checks,but first I need to push the Coke asideso that I don't accidentally knock it over.The Coke is getting warm, and I decideto put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke,a vase of flowers on the countercatches my eye--they need water.I put the Coke on the counter anddiscover my reading glasses thatI've been searching for all morning.I decide I better put them back on my desk,but first I'm going to water the flowers.I set the glasses back down on the counter,fill a container with water and

suddenly spotthe TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,I'll be looking for the remote,but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,but first I'll water the flowers.I pour some water in the flowers,but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.So, I set the remote back on the table,get some towels and wipe up the spill.Then, I head down the hall trying toremember what I was planning to do.At the end of the day:the car isn't washedthe bills aren't paidthere is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counterthe flowers don't have enough water,there is still only 1 check in my check book,I can't find the remote,I can't find my glasses,and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done

today,I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all damn day,and I'm really tired.I realize this is a serious problem,and I'll try to get some help for it,but first I'll check my e-mail....Do me a favor.Send this message to everyone you know,because I don't remember who the hell I've sent it to.

ShirleyTed Striker: Surely you can't be serious. Rumack: I am serious... and don't call me Shirley.

from movie "Airplane" 1980