Re: toilet training woes

[Guest guest]

First let me start by saying a Hello to all who have written to welcome

me, I don't want to clutter up the list by sending separate responses to

all of you, but I do so much appreciate all of you! Glasgow & Germany -

it's great to have an international flavor and I look forward to

hearing more from all of you!

Also - Amy - who is kicking cigarettes! You Go Girl! Kudos to you!!!!

Ohhh... I so much want to talk about toilet training! Please keep

writing in what has worked and not worked!

Should training an autistic child be done in a different manner? Do we

have to use different language and techniques to connect with their

unique thinking patterns? Or is it using the same techniques that are

used with NT children but it just takes longer?

Here is what I've already tried: (Please keep in mind that I didn't know

of his problems and was being pressured by well-meaning friends and

family who were insisting he was just defiant and that he understood

everything I was saying!) 2 different child size pottys in different

areas of the house and two set-in toddler size seats for both of our

bathrooms. I have at one time forced him to stay on his potty seat

until he went to the bathroom. After 4 hours of straight sitting there

(with still no results and tons of drinks) I allowed him to get up.

(wow do I feel bad about that one) I have also done the thing of putting

the boy on the pot every 20 to 30 minutes for an entire day. I still had

to clean up accidents. I've used pull-ups, regular underwear, underwear

with plastic, special training underwear that I bought on EBay that have

an insert to catch urine (sort of a like a really long maxi pad). I

have encouraged him not to make pee-pee on Buzz Lightyear and Woody

(characters on the underwear), one mother swore by this method, saying

it had worked with a little girl and Barbie underpants. This sounds

like it would be more appealing to a little girl. Jake didn't mind

soaking his little friends. I have also on numerous days just let Jake

roam naked so that it would be " easy " to get to the potty. I have

yelled, screamed, cried, begged, and yes even spanked a couple of times.

I'm not proud of that but again, I wasn't sure what I was dealing with

and it seemed soooo deliberate when I found poo-poo on the floor in a

couple of areas of the bedroom with the potty chair sitting empty right

in the middle of the room! I have videos, books and also an

anatomically correct doll that I've used to show him. He has been in

the bathroom many times with both me and my husband while we " joyfully "

explain what we are doing and how wonderful it is to use the potty.

Incidentally I think the " Once Upon A Potty " (I have the one " for Him " )

is a great video and the doctor's advice on the end of the tape is very

encouraging! My son loves that video and asks for his " potty moomie "

(potty movie) fairly often. I find it easier to get him to go poo-poo

on the potty rather than pee-pee. He is obvious about his need to have

a bowel movement and I can sometimes get him to the potty in time. But,

often he doesn't go if I do that and I know he needs to. He has a lot

of constipation and it's not unusual for him to skip a day or even two

with no bowel movements. Twice he has come to me to indicate he needed

to go poo-poo and there was success. He seems to have no knowledge of

when he has to urinate. However he can go through the night without

wetting the bed. (like Rowan's Mom talked about)

So in conclusion (if you're still here) ;-) I know that we are lucky

in a lot of respects here and that it will someday end. I am actually

relieved to know that there is some reason why potty training has been

so difficult and that I don't just have the most defiant kid in the

world. I plan to back off a little bit and keep going gently. We will

continue to buy pull-ups and diapers and probably use a mixture of that

plus underwear if I think he can handle it. If anyone can direct me

toward a new approach or give me any information about potty training an

autistic spectrum child I would really appreciate it!!!!!

~ Karin

P.S. To the Mom who's child doesn't go potty at school: I used to do

that myself when I was a kid. I could hold it all day. Not healthy for

sure, but somehow I avoided bladder infections and problems from it. I

retained that skill for over 30 years until I gave birth. No more

holding it for me....

[Guest guest]

Karin,

My mom trained my son with a method that nobody else here has used (I

don't think) because it's kind of brutal -- she went the old-school method.

My mom was in a position to do this because when was 3 3/4 I fell down

the stairs in our house and snapped my tibia and fibula in half. They

inserted a steel rod in my leg and I was on bed rest for 8 weeks, forbidden

to walk. My mom came to take care of my family while I healed.

I had tried sitting on the potty forever. I had tried reward charts.

I had tried treats for sitting, treats for going. I had tried once upon a

potty.Nothing I did seemed to work, and I just had given up.

My mom came in, said, " He Will Be Potty Trained. " Now, my mom has a great

understanding of autism, but she's also 65 years old and very old school --

so she trained like she trained me and my brother. No parenting book

wisdom for her. Took away his diapers, gave him jockey shorts, and for the

first day let him experience the consequences of voiding in these things.

He HATED it. THEN she started steering him to the bathroom when he began to

go.

It was a solid week of screaming. I sat in bedroom upstairs crying,

screaming, 'MOM, GIVE HIM A DIAPER!' but she didn't.

Within two weeks, he was pee and poop trained. It took another year to get

him to wipe his bum, and two years to teach him to pee standing up, but he

was trained. He had just learned that if he didn't use the toilet, he'd

have his own waste on his legs, and that was abhorrent to him. It's not to

some, but it is to him. It was really just basic behavioural modification.

I would never suggest someone use this method immediately. But as a

last-ditch effort, it worked like a charm.

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

I guess there is still something to be said for some " old school "

methods! :-)

One problem I have with Jake is that he doesn't mind being in soiled/wet

diapers or underwear. I have tried the bribe system too with no

results. However all that people have written in has been tremendously

helpful to me so far. Especially knowing the usual time frame for potty

training. I am so much more encouraged.

For Janae: My Jake is 3 years and 4 mos. Thank you for sending in your

story about your Jake. I found it very helpful!

I would also like to know about teeth brushing; dental visits; and

haircuts. I know I need patience and I will learn all of this....

Also I'm curious - do other kids out there have that symptom of

" laughing at inappropriate moments " ? (or laughing when there isn't a

stimulus to laugh I guess)

~ Karin

The Hunny Family wrote:

>

> Karin,

>

> My mom trained my son with a method that nobody else here has used (I

> don't think) because it's kind of brutal -- she went the old-school method.

>

> My mom was in a position to do this because when was 3 3/4 I fell down

> the stairs in our house and snapped my tibia and fibula in half. They

> inserted a steel rod in my leg and I was on bed rest for 8 weeks, forbidden

> to walk. My mom came to take care of my family while I healed.

>

> I had tried sitting on the potty forever. I had tried reward charts.

> I had tried treats for sitting, treats for going. I had tried once upon a

> potty.Nothing I did seemed to work, and I just had given up.

>

> My mom came in, said, " He Will Be Potty Trained. " Now, my mom has a great

> understanding of autism, but she's also 65 years old and very old school --

> so she trained like she trained me and my brother. No parenting book

> wisdom for her. Took away his diapers, gave him jockey shorts, and for the

> first day let him experience the consequences of voiding in these things.

> He HATED it. THEN she started steering him to the bathroom when he began to

> go.

>

> It was a solid week of screaming. I sat in bedroom upstairs crying,

> screaming, 'MOM, GIVE HIM A DIAPER!' but she didn't.

>

> Within two weeks, he was pee and poop trained. It took another year to get

> him to wipe his bum, and two years to teach him to pee standing up, but he

> was trained. He had just learned that if he didn't use the toilet, he'd

> have his own waste on his legs, and that was abhorrent to him. It's not to

> some, but it is to him. It was really just basic behavioural modification.

>

> I would never suggest someone use this method immediately. But as a

> last-ditch effort, it worked like a charm.

>

> Jacquie

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Karin-

Autistic children often have sensory issues that make it difficult to near

impossible for them to recognize the feeling of " needing to go " .....This is

often why potty training happens so much later.

>>>>>

Should training an autistic child be done in a different manner? Do we

have to use different language and techniques to connect with their

unique thinking patterns? Or is it using the same techniques that are

used with NT children but it just takes longer?

<<<<<<

Autistic children also have a fear of " losing part of themselves " , that's

one explanation as to why Pooping is difficult.

If constipation becomes an issue, be aware of a condition called

" encopresis " . If you'd like more information on that, I'll be glad to send

you a link.

>>>>>>>>>

But,

often he doesn't go if I do that and I know he needs to. He has a lot

of constipation and it's not unusual for him to skip a day or even two

with no bowel movements. Twice he has come to me to indicate he needed

to go poo-poo and there was success. He seems to have no knowledge of

when he has to urinate. However he can go through the night without

wetting the bed. (like Rowan's Mom talked about)

<<<<<<<<<<

>>>>>

If anyone can direct me

toward a new approach or give me any information about potty training an

autistic spectrum child I would really appreciate it!!!!!

<<<<<

Goodness, I WISH I had a concrete answer. I had all of these questions when

Jacqui was younger and could find NO answers. We finally accepted the fact

that she would do it when she was ready. All kids are different though, and

you may find an approach (like Amy did with Kep), that will work....

Good Luck!

Penny

>>>>>>

P.S. To the Mom who's child doesn't go potty at school: I used to do

that myself when I was a kid. I could hold it all day. Not healthy for

sure, but somehow I avoided bladder infections and problems from it. I

retained that skill for over 30 years until I gave birth. No more

holding it for me....

<<<<<<

Me too, Karin. I NEVER went in school.. I could hold it and hold it and

hold it. Now, if I even THINK I have to pee, I'm in the bathroom...LOL

[Guest guest]

> For Janae: My Jake is 3 years and 4 mos. Thank you for sending in your

For what it's worth, Mikey just turned 3 & we are NOWHERE CLOSE to even

STARTING potty training. He has NO awareness of when he has to wet. I

usually know when he's about to have a BM but I can't get him to sit on the

potty and poop for anything. One or the other, sure, but not both...He is

usually dry in the mornings but then again, so is my 16 month old and I

don't plan to start with him for awhile yet. We'll have a new baby just as

Gabe he turns 2 so that's not going to be a good time...it may well be a

year before I'm ready to start in earnest. Maybe I'll get lucky & Gabe will

train himself in the meantime, huh?

> I would also like to know about teeth brushing; dental visits; and

> haircuts. I know I need patience and I will learn all of this....

Tooth brushing depends a lot on the kid I think. I literally sat on Mikey

for almost year & he is finally calming down about it. I can brush them now

while he's in the bathtub. I know some kids fight a whole lot harder than

he does an you just can't physically hold them down. If there is a psych or

behavioralist you can talk to to develop a plan to desensitize him it might

be really helpful. When we first started our OT told us not to bother

trying to brush them as he was far too orally defensive and it would be too

overwhelming for him. She got us doing some exercises with him that helped

the defensiveness & also helped his speech.

Dental visits -- a whole lot of kids on this list have to be sedated or put

under general anesthesia for dental work. Your best bet is to find a

dentist who works a lot with kids who have special needs. Your state list

can probably help you there. Take it really slow, don't expect a lot, and

see what happens. Give him lots of time to transition & deal with the new

situation. Do what you can to make it a positive experience, or it will be

that much worse the next time.

Haircuts -- I cut his hair in his sleep. Call me chicken. The first

cut was horrible. I nearly ended up just shaving his head! But it grew

back all too quickly. He is starting to need another one...I do a bowl cut,

just put a piece of tape around his head to give me a nice line, snip around

the top of the tape, & shave underneath.

You can sometimes find places that work with children with special needs.

Again, take it slow, try not to expect too much, and make it a positive

experience. If it gets too overwhelming for him, quit on a positive note.

You can always go back, and it doesn't matter that much if he walks around

for a few days with half a haircut.

> Also I'm curious - do other kids out there have that symptom of

> " laughing at inappropriate moments " ? (or laughing when there isn't a

> stimulus to laugh I guess)

Mikey used to a lot. Maybe he still does & I just don't notice it as

much...

-Sara.

[Guest guest]

For tooth brushing with ny, I let him play in the water of the

bathroom faucet while I brush his teeth. When finished he knows

he has to leave. Since it's the same every time I usually don't get a

tantrum when he has to leave. He LOVES running water,.

jen

>Tooth brushing depends a lot on the kid I think.

[Guest guest]

>

>I would also like to know about teeth brushing; dental visits; and

>haircuts. I know I need patience and I will learn all of this....

Oh, all the fun stuff! Ugh. Kep would NOT brush his teeth until we did a

procedure similar to the potty procedure I sent you. It wasn't as

intensive, took lots more time, but broke everything down into tiny little

steps. His favorite part was learning to rinse and spit. I could write

that up for you if you think it would be helpful. Honestly, I would just

say start out slow with maybe 5 secs of brushing and increase it slowly over

time. It took Kep about 6 weeks to work up to 45 seconds which is about the

most he'll do.

Kep still has a horrible time with haircuts. We use the clippers and do it

at home most of the time. About once a year I try to take him to the salon,

but I usually regret it.

I hate to say it, but Kep has never seen a dentist. Hopefully this year.

Kids with severe sensory issues generally have a LOT of trouble with these

things. Sounds like that is Jake, eh? Once you get a dx, I would

definitely check into some OT.

Amy H--in Michigan

Kepler 5 ASD and Bethany 6 1/2 NT

" Eternal vigilance is the price of liberty. " ~ Jefferson

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[Guest guest]

> One problem I have with Jake is that he doesn't mind being in soiled/wet

> diapers or underwear.

We were soooo lucky that hated it. I think he's in the minority on

that, as far as autistic kids go.

> I would also like to know about teeth brushing; dental visits; and

> haircuts. I know I need patience and I will learn all of this....

>

Teeth brushing at 3 non-existent, at 4 was every six months or so, at 5 was

once a month maybe (but just to use toothpaste, the taste of which he

loves), but at 6 we bought a spinbrush at his insistence -- and he brushes 2

or 3 times a day, now!

Miraculously, he needs only one filling. He tolerated the dentist exam

fine, but LOST HIS MIND when the dentist froze his mouth for the drilling.

He thought the dentist had removed his lips, because he couldn't feel them.

He went ballistic. We have a referral to a pediatric dentist who will

probably put him under general anesthetic to do the filling. :-(

Haircuts. My advice? Find a soft-spoken patient person who cuts hair in

their home. That's how we got finally used to haircuts -- when we

first started going to a home hairdresser, it took two hours to cut his hair

because she was willing to just follow him around taking snips when he would

tolerate it!

Now he'll go to a salon.

> Also I'm curious - do other kids out there have that symptom of

> " laughing at inappropriate moments " ? (or laughing when there isn't a

> stimulus to laugh I guess)

Oh, yes. Oh my, yes. Not so much anymore, but in the past...hooo boy.

Yup.

My clearest memory of this was when he was just turned five and we took him

to the theatre to see 'Shrek'. The theatre was half-full. It was a very

sombre scene, sad and serious, when my son, who hadn't laughed at the funny

parts, broke the silence with hysterical chortling laughter. <sigh> I've

never seen so many heads swivel at once! (which, btw, is something you get

immune to)

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

> things. Sounds like that is Jake, eh? Once you get a dx, I would

> definitely check into some OT.

You may not have to wait for a dx -- you can have a seperate OT eval & may

be able to get started if your insurance will cover it. Mikey had OT before

he was dx'd.

I asked our ped, got the children's hospital OT number, called them to find

out what I needed to get him in, called my ped back & told her she needed to

fax a script over to them, & waited for I think 6 weeks for the appointment.

We were sent a packet to fill out beforehand & also filled out more

paperwork during the eval. I think it took 2 hours. She said he has severe

to profound sensory issues which affect every sense including

proprioreception (did I spell that right?) which is the sense of where your

body is in space -- close your eyes, hold your arm out to the side, then

touch your index finger to your nose. You know where your finger it, you

know where your nose is, you have the ability to get the one to the other.

Here's a harder one -- close your eyes, hold both arms out to your sides

(like a t) and then bring your hands together in front of you, still up at

chest level, and touch your index fingers together. I can't do it.

Blah, blah, blah.

BTW don't worry about clogging up the list -- that's what we're here for,

and all of us learn from everyone else's experiences. There are lots of

other new members who have the same questions you do but aren't speaking up

with them, and there are lots of older members with kids who have the same

issues and we are always looking for more ideas on how to deal with them.

-Sara.

mom to Mikey, 9/14/99, autism, pica, self-injurious behavior

and Gabe, born at home 5/17/01, headed toward the above OT eval but pretty

sure he's not autistic

and Punkin, due 5/17/03 - how'd we manage that??

[Guest guest]

Karin:

~~Teeth Brushing:

Are you having problems with this?

~~Dental visits

Do your homework! Find a dentist that HAS EXPERIENCE IN AUTISM!!!! or at

least a compassionate professional.

~~Haircuts.

Are you having problems here too? Teeth & Hair are big sensory issue type

problems.

Does he let you read to him. There are some good kids books out there that

explain a lot of these issues. If he's into books, I'd go that route.

That's how I got my daughter to go to the dentist the first time. (Barney

goes to the Dentist)

>>>>>>>>>>

Also I'm curious - do other kids out there have that symptom of

" laughing at inappropriate moments " ? (or laughing when there isn't a

stimulus to laugh I guess)

<<<<<<<<

Oh yeah! That's a big one. Jacqui doesn't do it much anymore unless she's

stressed, but she used to. We didn't do much about it only because I didn't

want to discourage her laughter...

Hope that helps. Keep the questions coming!

Penny

[Guest guest]

>>>>>>>

Haircuts -- I cut his hair in his sleep. Call me chicken. The first

cut was horrible. I nearly ended up just shaving his head! But it grew

back all too quickly. He is starting to need another one...I do a bowl cut,

just put a piece of tape around his head to give me a nice line, snip around

the top of the tape, & shave underneath.

<<<<<<<<

Forgot to mention...I take Jacqui to Cool Cuts. She can keep busy playing

Nintendo while she's getting her hair cut. Don't know if that would have

worked when she was younger. I only started getting her hair cut less than

a year ago :-)

Penny

[Guest guest]

> One problem I have with Jake is that he doesn't mind being in soiled/wet

> diapers or underwear.

We were soooo lucky that hated it. I think he's in the minority on

that, as far as autistic kids go.

~~~~~~~Yes. Jacqui doesn't really care. She'll try to clean herself up, but

doesn't freak if she is wet or messy. (Now, if she has a speck of dirt on

her food or a piece of hair on her arm, that's an entirely different story).

This morning she was sitting in here (in MY chair), I came in and could

smell pee. She had just sat and pee'd in MY chair and didn't think twice

about not moving. She just continued playing *sigh*

[Guest guest]

Penny wrote:

> Karin:

>

> ~~Teeth Brushing:

>

> Are you having problems with this?

A little. Not really in comparison to some stories I've heard so far.

He will let me brush his teeth for about 30 to 45 seconds or so. He

swallows everything and then spits nothing out. :-) I was wondering

about a typical age that they can learn this skill on their own. I have

only got the news about Jake this past week so previously I was trying

to figure out when he was going to master all this stuff in comparison

to all the NT children we know. Now I can sit back and relax in a way

and quit worrying about getting him to master these skills too soon. I

would rather keep changing diapers and brushing his teeth for him than

try to force him to keep pace. I hate to say it but I just want some of

this information so I can shut my sister-in-law up.

>

> ~~Dental visits

>

> Do your homework! Find a dentist that HAS EXPERIENCE IN AUTISM!!!! or at

> least a compassionate professional.

Will do!

>

>

> ~~Haircuts.

>

> Are you having problems here too? Teeth & Hair are big sensory issue type

> problems.

Yes, haircuts are a huge ordeal. He hates everything about them from

putting on the plastic cape and if I let him leave it off, the little

hairs all over him are enough to drive him crazy. (would drive me crazy

too) Then he screams and cries and thrashes through the whole thing.

I've been taking him to Cool Cuts and he likes the toys, hates

everything else. I get it cut as short as possible to keep the trips

there to a bare minimum. I tip 100% to those poor people.

>

> Does he let you read to him. There are some good kids books out there that

> explain a lot of these issues. If he's into books, I'd go that route.

> That's how I got my daughter to go to the dentist the first time. (Barney

> goes to the Dentist)

He is so not into books. I wish he would let me read to him.

Occasionally he will sit down and look through his books but doesn't

like to sit and read them with me. He also doesn't seem to care much

for hearing a story told to him. Except for my Dad's version of The

Three Pigs and Brer Rabbit stories because he can do voices and sound

effects pretty well.

> > Hope that helps. Keep the questions coming!

No problem. ;-)

~ Karin

[Guest guest]

Penny wrote:

> > ~~~~~~~Yes. Jacqui doesn't really care. She'll try to clean herself up, but

> doesn't freak if she is wet or messy. (Now, if she has a speck of dirt on

> her food or a piece of hair on her arm, that's an entirely different story).

> This morning she was sitting in here (in MY chair), I came in and could

> smell pee. She had just sat and pee'd in MY chair and didn't think twice

> about not moving. She just continued playing *sigh*

That is strange. Jake is like this too, he couldn't care less about

having wet pants or worse but doesn't want anything sticky on his hands.

He loves water however, the ocean, pool, bath tub (but no hair washing

please...) or pet dishes - wherever water can be found he can entertain

himself. Including water glasses at restaurants....

~ Karin

[Guest guest]

> This morning she was sitting in here (in MY chair), I came in and could

> smell pee. She had just sat and pee'd in MY chair and didn't think twice

> about not moving. She just continued playing *sigh*

She and must be at polar opposite ends of that particular sensory

experience. If he starts to go, even a dribble, he starts SCREAMING this

bloodcurdling scream, crying and hyperventilating...

When my mom trained him, it wasn't that bad -- it was just crying. But now,

he has a full-blown panic attack if he starts to pee in his pants.

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

>

>He is so not into books.

Kep wasn't for a long time either. He liked to look at them himself, but

wouldn't let me read to him, or point out things. I learned later that he

was teaching himself to read. He now reads books WITH me, something I

waited a long time for. I love it. Every day we snuggle on the couch with

books. It is my favorite time of day.

Amy H--in Michigan

Kepler 5 ASD and Bethany 6 1/2 NT

" Eternal vigilance is the price of liberty. " ~ Jefferson

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[Guest guest]

Thanks for sharing that. The visual is making me smile. I think we

will get to that point one day.

~ Karin

Amy Helmuth wrote:

>> Kep wasn't for a long time either. He liked to look at them himself, but

> wouldn't let me read to him, or point out things. I learned later that he

> was teaching himself to read. He now reads books WITH me, something I

> waited a long time for. I love it. Every day we snuggle on the couch with

> books. It is my favorite time of day.

>

> Amy H--in Michigan

> Kepler 5 ASD and Bethany 6 1/2 NT

> " Eternal vigilance is the price of liberty. " ~ Jefferson

>

[Guest guest]

yes, water is very soothing...

You may want to consider swimming lessons....

:-)

Penny

Re: toilet training woes

Penny wrote:

> > ~~~~~~~Yes. Jacqui doesn't really care. She'll try to clean herself up,

but

> doesn't freak if she is wet or messy. (Now, if she has a speck of dirt on

> her food or a piece of hair on her arm, that's an entirely different

story).

> This morning she was sitting in here (in MY chair), I came in and could

> smell pee. She had just sat and pee'd in MY chair and didn't think twice

> about not moving. She just continued playing *sigh*

That is strange. Jake is like this too, he couldn't care less about

having wet pants or worse but doesn't want anything sticky on his hands.

He loves water however, the ocean, pool, bath tub (but no hair washing

please...) or pet dishes - wherever water can be found he can entertain

himself. Including water glasses at restaurants....

~ Karin

[Guest guest]

Funny how in some ways they can be so alike, yet soooo different....

Penny

Re: toilet training woes

> This morning she was sitting in here (in MY chair), I came in and could

> smell pee. She had just sat and pee'd in MY chair and didn't think twice

> about not moving. She just continued playing *sigh*

She and must be at polar opposite ends of that particular sensory

experience. If he starts to go, even a dribble, he starts SCREAMING this

bloodcurdling scream, crying and hyperventilating...

When my mom trained him, it wasn't that bad -- it was just crying. But now,

he has a full-blown panic attack if he starts to pee in his pants.

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

Penny wrote:

> yes, water is very soothing...

>

> You may want to consider swimming lessons....

>

> :-)

> Penny

I'm LOL!!! We tried this at 23 months of age. I was excited to get him

to be an early swimmer because I love swimming so much. Well, he

wouldn't participate in any of the group activities for the toddlers -

kicking legs, blowing bubbles in the water, and so forth. He's like the

polar opposite of teacher's pet. :-) However he loved jumping off the

side into my arms. Then when he saw his Dad jump off the diving board

he had to do that too. So the life guard got underneath with the floats

and he jumped right off the diving board a couple of times that day.

They said he was the youngest child to ever try that at our pool.

I may try again next summer. Thanks for the reminder.

~ Karin

[Guest guest]

> try to force him to keep pace. I hate to say it but I just want some of

> this information so I can shut my sister-in-law up.

Don't hate to say it. All of us know.

One of my first posts here was about how releived I was, and now I could go

tell all those nasty people IT'S NOT MY FAULT!!!

-Sara.

[Guest guest]

I'm so glad to hear you both voice this. I felt guilty for feeling this

way, but I was feeling so guilty in all my failures as a Mom prior to

this and now I feel that I was doing my best and not just " lazy

parenting " or " extremely defiant child " at play here. Whew!!!!

~ Karin

going to visit my Mother for the next day and a half. Talk at ya later

when we get home. (with probably tons of new questions!) LOL

The Hunny Family wrote:

>

> > One of my first posts here was about how releived I was, and now I could

> go

> > tell all those nasty people IT'S NOT MY FAULT!!!

> >

>

>

> Oh, yes!

>

> When the psych said autism, I clapped. I swear to god, I clapped. And

> giggled.

>

> The relief was overwhelming.

>

> Jacquie

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

> One of my first posts here was about how releived I was, and now I could

go

> tell all those nasty people IT'S NOT MY FAULT!!!

>

Oh, yes!

When the psych said autism, I clapped. I swear to god, I clapped. And

giggled.

The relief was overwhelming.

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

> He is so not into books. I wish he would let me read to him.

> Occasionally he will sit down and look through his books but

doesn't

> like to sit and read them with me. He also doesn't seem to care

much

> for hearing a story told to him.

>

Karin,

Mark is this way too, but he does love books. I just can't read them

to him. He will page through them all day if he could or we will

point at things on the page and tell him what they are, but that's

the extent of it.

Tina W.

[Guest guest]

> > try to force him to keep pace. I hate to say it but I just want

some of this information so I can shut my sister-in-law up.

>

> Don't hate to say it. All of us know.

>

> One of my first posts here was about how releived I was, and now I

could go tell all those nasty people IT'S NOT MY FAULT!!!

>

AMEN!!

One family member even accused me of abusing . I'm not sure he

ever believed that her problem was caused by anything else, but since

he's no longer part of the family, I don't have to deal with him.

(divorce CAN be a good thing.)

Tina