Guest guest Posted May 22, 2001 Report Share Posted May 22, 2001 Oh Caren, I know exactly what you are saying and you are justified. I am 32 and now I look back to 22 and I too was near " perfect " -- my index finger was paralyzedand drop foot, thats it. I could run and type fast, I rollerbladed til 5 years ago! I can still ride a bike but I ofter wonder for how long. the longesttime I thought I was pretty much unaffected but now I see how its progressed in 10 years, actually 17 since I was first diagnosed and I pray to GOD that 17 years from now I am still in fair shape. Its scary and unfair, it is no fun yet we have no choice but to accept and try to find what we can do. Your buddie, cindy > I reply....hesitantly: > > You know, typically nothing really bothers me, but lately,it has just been > harder and harder to deal with...why?? because I remember what I was like say > 5 years ago...just going to college, racing from my room on 9th floor down > the stairs to a friends room on 1st floor, then running back up the stairs, > my leg muscles were awsome, my hands were perfect (I often got told to slow > down when signing, I was VERY fast and strong with ASL), i'd go camping with > my sorority sisters, and even 2 years ago I could type 62 words per minute > with 3 or fewer mistakes..... then I see me now.... > > running on stairs?? LOL I can barely walk on stairs!!! my hands, ugh I > can't even fingerspell my name clearly anymore, forget typing, i use 1 finger > on each hand and my thumbs for the space bar...... > > just seeing myself getting weaker and having such awsome memories of what I > once was, it takes its toll. I've never been real concerned about how pretty > I was (or wasn't) I was just me...Im still not too concerned about my looks > but again remembring what I once was. > > sorry for mumbling, > Caren > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 22, 2001 Report Share Posted May 22, 2001 Dear Caren - Thanks for sharing that story. I will send you some things I have written. I might as well just put them out to the crew. And I hope I can write a poem on what you have shared. It is very moving. In His Name, Jane Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 22, 2001 Report Share Posted May 22, 2001 Don't apologize at all; I just am at a loss for words, but I don/;'t think you would be human if you didn't feel the way you do. I didn't realize all this had happened to you so quickly so recently; I have nothing like your losses, but I also think about how I loved skiing and white water rafting, and now I have to go play Bingo!! And I am not even very good at that!! I will say that the night we went to the Olive Garden, I thought you looked cute; brings to mind what a friend said to me once "you clean up real good"!! LOL Marie Re: Carols Saga..cont!!!!Marie wrote: Caren, I am amazed to hear you say you have low self esteem; I have always admired how you seemed like nothing bothered you!! Take it from me kid, none of us would win any beauty contests for physical beauty, but when it comes to character - you take no back seat. marie I reply....hesitantly: You know, typically nothing really bothers me, but lately,it has just been harder and harder to deal with...why?? because I remember what I was like say 5 years ago...just going to college, racing from my room on 9th floor down the stairs to a friends room on 1st floor, then running back up the stairs, my leg muscles were awsome, my hands were perfect (I often got told to slow down when signing, I was VERY fast and strong with ASL), i'd go camping with my sorority sisters, and even 2 years ago I could type 62 words per minute with 3 or fewer mistakes..... then I see me now.... running on stairs?? LOL I can barely walk on stairs!!! my hands, ugh I can't even fingerspell my name clearly anymore, forget typing, i use 1 finger on each hand and my thumbs for the space bar...... just seeing myself getting weaker and having such awsome memories of what I once was, it takes its toll. I've never been real concerned about how pretty I was (or wasn't) I was just me...Im still not too concerned about my looks but again remembring what I once was. sorry for mumbling, Caren Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 23, 2001 Report Share Posted May 23, 2001 Caren, Please don't feel sorry for expressing your inner feelings. Who better to tell than the Crew? We should all understand and be nonjudgmental. I feel as you do for health declining and for aging reasons. But I am sure it is even harder when you are young. I guess the saying is true that " this is as good as it gets. " We must relish each day to its fullest despite our disappointment. What a challenge; right? Love you, Vicki Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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