Re: Terrible Hanger Doc (LONG- sorry)/Margy

[Guest guest]

I second that! Very well said Deb.

> > This is to respond to your message. I think that some of what

you

> said was

> > fair comment and advice, but other things you've said were

> unfounded and

> > sounded hostile. I wrote the email I did in order to get support

> from other

> > parents, and I've been pleased to get a lot of good advice as a

> result. What bothers

> > me about your email was the strength of your attack on me. The

> email that I

> > wrote was in response to the experience that I had that day at

the

> Hanger

> > facility. I DID try to talk to him about what has happening. If

I

> had gotten a

> > helpful response from him, I wouldn't have made the posting in

the

> first place.

> >

> > Initially, I wrote out a very detailed response to your posting.

I

> decided

> > not to send it. I do not think it would be helpful to this

> Orthotist, to you,

> > to the others on the forum, or to my son and me to engage in a

> long " I said,

> > s/he said " battle. Remember, I wrote the email that I did to get

> advice and

> > help from others. I feel that I accomplished my purpose.

> >

> > Sincerely,

> > Margy

> > mom to Tony

> >

> >

> > In a message dated 6/23/2004 8:25:59 PM Pacific Daylight Time,

> > trishlps@y... writes:

> >

> > > I normally don't take the time to respond to letters I read on

> this

> > > forum since I am a busy mother and health care worker, but I

felt

> > > very strongly that I could add some prespective to the concerns

> you

> > > have expressed. I hope you can listen to what I have to say

with

> an

> > > open, fair mind.

> > >

> > > Your letter caught my eye because I have had a very positive

> > > experience with the Hanger person you have chosen to slander so

> > > viciously.

> > >

> > > I was shocked that you basically plan a major linchmob attack

on

> > > someone who I found to be very professional, highly skilled and

> well

> > > experienced with the plagiocephalic patients.

> > >

> > > Because I am in health care I checked the person out thoroughly

> > > before entrusting my child to his care. My child is older now,

> but

> > > still has disabilities including blindness.

> > >

> > > There are no complaints filed against this person. In all

> fairness,

> > > have you tried to solve the problem and speak to this person?

You

> > > have written awfully strong words that could be very damaging.

> Please

> > > be careful about how you choose to deal with this situation. In

> my

> > > experience there are always 2 sides to a story. I experienced

> none of

> > > what you have mentioned with this person.

> > >

> > > I sense that you have some fairly significant stressors in your

> life

> > > and yes, raising a disabled child as a single, young parent is

a

> > > phenomenal challenge. I've been there. It's tempting to take

out

> all

> > > of your emotions, whether it's guilt, anger, helplessness,

> > > frustration, etc on someone who is truly trying to help. I've

> done

> > > that many many times myself.

> > >

> > > This person you have slandered sees more children in the

practice

> > > than any others that I know of--remember, I did my research.

And

> yes,

> > > many of us parents have tried to educate ourselves to the best

of

> our

> > > ability about what we can do to help our children. Many times

my

> > > emotions took over when my logic should've been working. I've

> found I

> > > always have a better outcome when I work towards a solution.

> Venting

> > > is useful, but only when it leads to a positive outcome.

> > >

> > > The person who offered to help you and suggested he/she would

> have a

> > > better " personality fit " wants you to be satisfied, but may not

> have

> > > the expertise and experience that he/she should have in order

to

> > > remedy your child's problem. I think it's good that you feel

> better,

> > > but remember to keep prespective and check it out.

> > >

> > > Ask yourself, what do you want to have happen? Contrary to some

> of

> > > the replies you have received, correcting a deformity may

involve

> > > some discomfort. As a health care provider myself, I know that

> > > improvement often comes with some discomfort. Skin breakdown,

> obvious

> > > bruising and redness are telltale signs of a poor fit, but you

> > > describe none of those. Giving shots causes discomfort and

pain.

> > > Drawing blood causes pain. Physical therapy following injury

> causes

> > > pain. Wearing orthodontia/braces causes alot of pain (I have

> personal

> > > experience with that as well!), but the outcome is worth it.

> > >

> > > I would strongly suggest you communicate with the person you

have

> > > verbally attacked, who, in my experience and opinion, is really

> > > trying to help your child. Express your concerns, fears,

emotions

> and

> > > feelings. You're much more likely to get the results you are

> looking

> > > for. There are no miracle cures for kids with disabilities, but

> there

> > > are concerned professionals out there who deserve to know what

> you

> > > are saying.

> > >

> > > Does this person you have maligned know what you have said to

so

> many

> > > other people on this forum? It seems only fair that something

be

> said

> > > to the person involved first. If you were the health care

> provider,

> > > wouldn't you want to know about your patient's concerns? Then,

if

> you

> > > don't get some resolution, write a letter. I hope that you have

> done

> > > that. I would want you to do that for me if I was the person

> trying

> > > to help your child.

> > >

> > > Again, I speak as a mother well acquainted with disabilities.

> Trust

> > > your motherly instincts, but try not to react strictly with

> emotions

> > > that may not all be related to that particular incident. You

> alluded

> > > to that fact in some of your e-mails already. Talk to the

> physician

> > > who referred you to this person and ask questions about how the

> > > correction process works. That physician surely would not refer

> you

> > > to a person without the experience, expertise and

trustworthiness

> to

> > > take care of the problem. I have worked with many physicians,

> who, in

> > > my experience are quite particular about who they refer their

> > > patients to.

> > >

> > > There are plenty of questionable healthcare professionals out

> there.

> > > I've worked with them! In this case, however, I don't agree

that

> > > he/she is a " jerk " and all the other derogatory names that have

> been

> > > used.

> > >

> > > Because I feel strongly opposed to all the negativity you have

> > > expressed towards this person, I plan to let Hanger know that

my

> > > child had a good experience and positive outcome with this

> person. I

> > > also intend on letting the accrediting body know about the

> positive

> > > outcome as well.

> > >

> > > In closing, please give some thought to what I've said because

I

> too

> > > want the best for your child as many other mothers have

expressed

> as

> > > well. The support you receive is valuable, but make sure it is

> > > focused towards resolution and not purely on vindication and

> > > venting.

> > >

> > > Sincerely,

> > > a fellow caring, concerned mom with many hard knocks added to

my

> belt!

> >

> >

> > Margy

> > mommy to my little firecracker

> >

> > 12.8.02

> > eBay.com Seller List: flowerpower83

> > -Praying for Baby Levi-