Guest guest Posted April 27, 2005 Report Share Posted April 27, 2005 Elaine You mentioned 2 children. Does your other child have any problems? Jean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 28, 2005 Report Share Posted April 28, 2005 Hello Elaine and thank you for sharing. Both you and your daughter are BPD? Elaine wrote: Greetings, it is cold up North today after a taste of spring it is hard to take. On Sunday I was out and about in capri's- my favoirute one's with the Raggedy and andy pictures and hearts. anyway, what's new. Guess with BPD, a few good days and then a day from hell. WE got through the flu - I was really afraid that she was using crack again but now I beleive she did have the flu. I cna't understand how she can abandon ehr child when she gets sick, I can remember being sick and yet making sure I was up and taking cae of two little kids and no relatives nearby...however I need to remember that when she is phsyically ill her BPD flares and she becomes a needy child with no coping skills and no sense of caring for someone else. Then we had a few good days and yesterday was brutal but with my grand. she went to the psycholgist who is assesing ehr to try and determine if her Dad molested her and apparently, accroding to my dgter the feedback she got after the session was quite frightening. The little one was playing with dolls and she became angry and mean to the babies. She was pulling hair, refusing to give one a bottle and yelling. I feel so sad today knowing that a four year old already ahs this depth of fear and anger. I can only pray that the psychologist will put the story together and maybe realize that my dgeter has parenting deficieits and will be able to recommend a plan that can help the child to develop and leave behind the scars before she too becomes BPD. My heart is just breaking for ehr and I am close ot tears as I write. Please those of you who pray pray for this little girl. I was once diagnosed with BPD and as I read the literature I can understand why although it was part of a major mental health breakdown. I was in the hospital for over a month and then I took a 12 week outpatient program entitled WRAP. Women REcovering from Abuse. As Ir ead and learnt I can understnd the diagnosis and how I didi show the traits but only as part of a big picture. The feelings of abandonment have dogged my whole life and controlled me until that program when ir eally leant to trust myself and to acept myself. It also helped that my Mom passed away and I could let go of her voice criticizing and putting me down. She did her best and I paid a price but it is behind me. I am sharing this to try and give hope to all of us that some day our daughters will grow and as we ourselves heal from the wounds who present an inner strngth that perahps they can feel and learn to trust the recovered and ehaled women we are. with love Elaine __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 28, 2005 Report Share Posted April 28, 2005 Elaine Big hugs to you. I can see where the psychologists words would upset and frighten you. Did you daughter not realize that the child was acting out as her? Heavy sigh. Hugs Kelley Re: update Hello Elaine and thank you for sharing. Both you and your daughter are BPD? Elaine wrote: Greetings, it is cold up North today after a taste of spring it is hard to take. On Sunday I was out and about in capri's- my favoirute one's with the Raggedy and andy pictures and hearts. anyway, what's new. Guess with BPD, a few good days and then a day from hell. WE got through the flu - I was really afraid that she was using crack again but now I beleive she did have the flu. I cna't understand how she can abandon ehr child when she gets sick, I can remember being sick and yet making sure I was up and taking cae of two little kids and no relatives nearby...however I need to remember that when she is phsyically ill her BPD flares and she becomes a needy child with no coping skills and no sense of caring for someone else. Then we had a few good days and yesterday was brutal but with my grand. she went to the psycholgist who is assesing ehr to try and determine if her Dad molested her and apparently, accroding to my dgter the feedback she got after the session was quite frightening. The little one was playing with dolls and she became angry and mean to the babies. She was pulling hair, refusing to give one a bottle and yelling. I feel so sad today knowing that a four year old already ahs this depth of fear and anger. I can only pray that the psychologist will put the story together and maybe realize that my dgeter has parenting deficieits and will be able to recommend a plan that can help the child to develop and leave behind the scars before she too becomes BPD. My heart is just breaking for ehr and I am close ot tears as I write. Please those of you who pray pray for this little girl. I was once diagnosed with BPD and as I read the literature I can understand why although it was part of a major mental health breakdown. I was in the hospital for over a month and then I took a 12 week outpatient program entitled WRAP. Women REcovering from Abuse. As Ir ead and learnt I can understnd the diagnosis and how I didi show the traits but only as part of a big picture. The feelings of abandonment have dogged my whole life and controlled me until that program when ir eally leant to trust myself and to acept myself. It also helped that my Mom passed away and I could let go of her voice criticizing and putting me down. She did her best and I paid a price but it is behind me. I am sharing this to try and give hope to all of us that some day our daughters will grow and as we ourselves heal from the wounds who present an inner strngth that perahps they can feel and learn to trust the recovered and ehaled women we are. with love Elaine __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 19, 2005 Report Share Posted May 19, 2005 " yes, I did sit and pray this morning and I asked God to give me the tools to push your buttons all day " Elaine, Thanks for a good laugh!! I loved it!! Boy - our bpd's can dish it out, but they sure can't take it!! Did grand call you back? La Nell Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 7, 2005 Report Share Posted June 7, 2005 Elaine, You sound like you are doing really well in dealing with this situation. I wish the best for you and your grand and hope for a good turnout. It was no accident that you had the time to speak to a knowledgeable therapist. Carolyn > > Dear friends, it has been raining here for a week and we are all starting to get stir crazy and now we have a lot to cope with. > > I called the Association of Psychologists to get names of people who specialize in BPD. Perhaps there is a similar organization in Rhode Island > > Yesterday she took grand to the therapist who is doing the sexual abuse assessment and simultaneoulsy received a call to do a ? massage? so she left grand and I picked her up which is usual but what is different is that normally I arrive to be with grand while the therapist discusess the session with dgter. THis was divine intervention I think as it gave the therapist a few minutes with me to inform me that she has found no evidence of sexual abuse and her report will be to reinstate visitation but with supervision in the beginning to help grand with the fear and trauma that she is going to ahve to face as she is now terrified of going to her Dad's and starts to scream if it is mentioned. > > I looked at ehr and said I know I can only tell you so much but I do need you to know that while never formally diagnosed my dgter is likely Borderline and that 2 counsellros that I ahve ahd have both suggested that to me based on what I have shared. She said she would likely agree. She then asked me in I had the SWOE books and I said yes and I was part of thsi group, she said that was really important for me as she imagines the next while will be really traumatic. > > I then took grand to her Mom and took an hour myself to just sit with this, talk to a supprtive friend and center myself before I continued my day. I was fortuante that I ahd some plans for the evening although she did try to sabotage that as well. > > Whne I came home I had to face a lot rage, most of it very personal and brutal, thank God I ahd the tools I ahve learnt to blunt the edges. > > Grand is extremely fragile, has panic attacks if she is left alone, can't see or at least talk to ehr Mom on the phone, etc. I am really concerned about her. > > Today they meet with sex crimes detective and if thye also reject the claim I can only imagine what will happen. > > She has statred to talk about moving home and my heart leaps with joy everytime so I know whare I stand. I am willing to stay pat for a few more days as she has these interviews but then I will be setting a time frame, I am going to ask her to go home Saturday and Sunday so I can have a break. > > She just called and seems quite calm so far but panicing becasue she heard flood warnings on TV, they are for areas about 100 miles from here but she is now she vigilant just in case. There are 2 rivers crossing through the middle of Calgary. > > So I am going to call my own psychiatrsit as I am feeling quite fragile and try to get an appointment for a " tune - up " and then hopefully I cna hit an alanon or naranon meeting this week. > > Love to all. > > Elaine > > > > > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 9, 2005 Report Share Posted June 9, 2005 Frances, In your post, you mentioned going to a workshop. Is this one on BPD? I wasn't aware they had them. If you go, please let us know whether this was helpful. Good luck with your situation. Carolyn > > I am still here. I have seen my daughter only once in the doctor's office a week after she threaten to kill me. She was civil but I could see the angrier in her eyes. Right now my daughter will have nothing to do with me. She is waiting on her check from Workmans Comp Court and does not need me. If the company does not appeal the court's decision, she could get her check in July. I imagine it will last a week if she is lucky. Will see if she pays for the car or decides she does not want it. Am trying to take this time and rest. Am planning to do a little traveling. I keep searching for more info on BPD. Have ordered several books to read and may go to some workshops. > I know she will be back. They go away for a while but always return. They are so unhappy. The meds and therapy were helping. I expect her to quit therapy in the next few weeks. Her health insurance was paid by me through the month of June. Will see if she sends me the bill on the 15 of June? I do not expect her to send the bill. I expect her to let every thing go and collapse as she has done in the past. > She always sees herself as the victim. Right now she blames me for all her problems. Same old story as many of you know. > Frances > > Subject: Re: Therapists experienced in DBT Therapy > > Frances > > Thank you for that information. How are things going in your world? Is your > daughter still acting homicidal? > > I am making some serious decisions in my own head; hope I can stick to them > in my heart as well. I will be going to court to get rid of that restraining > order and then, if I get visitation with the boys, I guess I'll have to learn > to put up with more of HER nutsiness. And if I don't get visitation, I am > DONE. I am not moving from here or running away. I am going to start living > for > myself and my son. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 20, 2005 Report Share Posted June 20, 2005 In a message dated 06/20/2005 2:13:26 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, elaine_mcmurray@... writes: Dgter told me yesterday that she has been clean and sober for 8 days, please God that she continues Elaine, Praying and keeping my fingers crossed that your daughter stays clean, if not for her sake, but for the grand. Keep your chin up. Hugs, Debbie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 27, 2005 Report Share Posted August 27, 2005 Have spent the summer away from home so my only contact with my daughter was by my cell phone which I could turn off when I did not want to hear her problems. Since I was not here to be her crutch she has collapsed. She uses people not drugs and alcohol. She plays the victim. I took her to Dallas Wednesday and they admitted her Thursday morning in Timberlawn. So far it is working out. They have therapy 7 days a week. They do DBT and other types of therapy. She is very happy there she told me last night. I have all the mess to clean up here. I told myself yesterday this is my last time. She left two criminals in the house whom refuse to move. One is on probation and awaiting trial Sep 12 from her new charges the other one is awaiting his first felony trial. She told me she had the insurance bill to keep her health insurance in force in her purse. She does not have; it must be in the house with the criminals. Talked to a lawyer yesterday and said to post notice on the house. Am going out there shortly with my notices. Probation officers will look for her Monday and move her out. She is 44 years old. I am very tired of this. Wednesday night the social worker did not want to admit her the doctor said come back at 8 am Thursday and let us check on the insurance when their office is open. They took her!!!! I am very tired from all this mess. The electric company will turn off the electricity Wednesday. I paid the water bill to keep the water on but will not pay the electric bill. The health insurance is my real concern. It has to be paid Wednesday in Illinois. Can not remember the town and have lost the address. Thanks for letting me complain and wail about this mess. Frances Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 27, 2005 Report Share Posted August 27, 2005 Frances It certainly sounds like you've been through the wringer with your bp and her, ah, attending " people. " I do hope you find the insurance form you're looking for and that things will straighten out soon. Dot _____ From: WTOParentsOfBPs [mailto:WTOParentsOfBPs ] On Behalf Of abjacobs1@... Sent: Saturday, August 27, 2005 9:38 AM To: WTOParentsOfBPs Subject: Re: UPDATE Have spent the summer away from home so my only contact with my daughter was by my cell phone which I could turn off when I did not want to hear her problems. Since I was not here to be her crutch she has collapsed. She uses people not drugs and alcohol. She plays the victim. I took her to Dallas Wednesday and they admitted her Thursday morning in Timberlawn. So far it is working out. They have therapy 7 days a week. They do DBT and other types of therapy. She is very happy there she told me last night. I have all the mess to clean up here. I told myself yesterday this is my last time. She left two criminals in the house whom refuse to move. One is on probation and awaiting trial Sep 12 from her new charges the other one is awaiting his first felony trial. She told me she had the insurance bill to keep her health insurance in force in her purse. She does not have; it must be in the house with the criminals. Talked to a lawyer yesterday and said to post notice on the house. Am going out there shortly with my notices. Probation officers will look for her Monday and move her out. She is 44 years old. I am very tired of this. Wednesday night the social worker did not want to admit her the doctor said come back at 8 am Thursday and let us check on the insurance when their office is open. They took her!!!! I am very tired from all this mess. The elec tric company will turn off the electricity Wednesday. I paid the water bill to keep the water on but will not pay the electric bill. The health insurance is my real concern. It has to be paid Wednesday in Illinois. Can not remember the town and have lost the address. Thanks for letting me complain and wail about this mess. Frances Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 27, 2005 Report Share Posted August 27, 2005 Frances, By stepping back out of her life and allowing her to hit the bottom, you have helped your daughter. If she was being enabled by you endlessly, who knows whether she would ever get the treatment she needs to stand on her own two feet. I sincerely hope the DBT works well for her and she comes out of this experience stronger. Have you contacted the insurance company's head office? As long as you have the name and can call them, can you overnight a check or pay by credit card? You're right, insurance coverage is vital at a time like this. Good luck and don't give up. Carolyn > > Have spent the summer away from home so my only contact with my daughter was by my cell phone which I could turn off when I did not want to hear her problems. Since I was not here to be her crutch she has collapsed. She uses people not drugs and alcohol. She plays the victim. I took her to Dallas Wednesday and they admitted her Thursday morning in Timberlawn. So far it is working out. They have therapy 7 days a week. They do DBT and other types of therapy. She is very happy there she told me last night. > I have all the mess to clean up here. I told myself yesterday this is my last time. She left two criminals in the house whom refuse to move. One is on probation and awaiting trial Sep 12 from her new charges the other one is awaiting his first felony trial. She told me she had the insurance bill to keep her health insurance in force in her purse. She does not have; it must be in the house with the criminals. Talked to a lawyer yesterday and said to post notice on the house. Am going out there shortly with my notices. Probation officers will look for her Monday and move her out. She is 44 years old. I am very tired of this. Wednesday night the social worker did not want to admit her the doctor said come back at 8 am Thursday and let us check on the insurance when their office is open. They took her!!!! I am very tired from all this mess. The electric company will turn off the electricity Wednesday. I paid the water bill to keep the water on but will not pay the electric bill. The health insurance is my real concern. It has to be paid Wednesday in Illinois. Can not remember the town and have lost the address. > Thanks for letting me complain and wail about this mess. > Frances > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 29, 2005 Report Share Posted August 29, 2005 In a message dated 8/27/2005 9:43:04 AM Eastern Standard Time, abjacobs1@... writes: She left two criminals in the house whom refuse to move. One is on probation and awaiting trial Sep 12 from her new charges the other one is awaiting his first felony trial. She told me she had the insurance bill to keep her health insurance in force in her purse. She does not have; it must be in the house with the criminals. Frances, Is this your house? Call the police, have them removed. Also, the health insurance....... your daughter is 44 yrs. old? Why on earth are you paying her health insurance? The state has to foot the bill if she has none. It's her problem if she doesn't have any. You will never be out of this mess as long as you continue to bail her out. Don't mean to sound harsh if it does, this is just what I would and wouldn't do. Debbie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 30, 2007 Report Share Posted November 30, 2007 Kate, I am glad you finally got something to calm you down. I hope it works out well for you and as far as what your daughter said....most times they don't think before they speak so don't take it to heart. Sometimes we all need a little help and get back on track. At least you see the problem and are willing to do something about it. Your kids will see that you are trying to help yourself out of your depression and will look up to it. Maybe they may not show it but they will think it. I wish you the best. I am sure you will get better once you find a psychiatrist and get on the right meds. You take care and enjoy reading. Have a good weekend. Hugs, :)Kate Rothschild wrote: Try as I might, I could not get anyone to help me with the kids today. I could not go to ER or be admitted. The best I could 'work out', was to contact my neuro and ask him to call in a script for something to help me calm down. He was reluctant to, as he said when he saw me the beginning of this wk, my depression had him very concerned, and he had wanted to admit me himself. He said, how can I trust you with a bottle of pills? I said, well, I just need something to help me through until I can find a psychiatrist to help me manage my meds. He called in 5 valium. Just picked them up, after Luke's hockey game. It is really hard holding it together, you know? I have to try for my kids' sake. Tomorrow is Lia's Sweet 16th. I had spoken to Sharon on the phone and shared this with her--my 10 yr old dtr, recalling that I was in a psych hospital last yr on her 9th birthday--said, well, you ruined one person's birthday in this family already; are you going to ruin another one?...oh Lord, I just fell on my face on my bed and sobbed. She felt bad after she said it, and said, I didn't mean it to come out that way...but I could tell with the nasty tone she had when she said it, it was intended to wound me. I have so much guilt in me, and I don't know how to even begin to deal with it, or rid myself of it. The kids are here, watching a movie, and I'm going up to bed to read. I've taken my valium and hope it can calm the crawling out of my skin feeling I have. I love you all here, and have read all your wonderful, supportive posts to me. I cling to them each and all, as I do to each of you for your beautiful and amazing care. It means more to me than words can convey. bless you each and all, KateWe can only be said to be alive in those momentswhen our hearts are conscious of our treasures.~Thornton Wilder Peace, Love and Hugs, D. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 30, 2007 Report Share Posted November 30, 2007 Kate I am glad you were able to get some Valium. I wish I was there to help you. But all I can offer are my prayers. Hugs nne Try as I might, I could not get anyone to help me with the kids today. I could not go to ER or be admitted. The best I could 'work out', was to contact my neuro and ask him to call in a script for something to help me calm down. He was reluctant to, as he said when he saw me the beginning of this wk, my depression had him very concerned, and he had wanted to admit me himself. He said, how can I trust you with a bottle of pills? I said, well, I just need something to help me through until I can find a psychiatrist to help me manage my meds. He called in 5 valium. Just picked them up, after Luke's hockey game. It is really hard holding it together, you know? I have to try for my kids' sake. Tomorrow is Lia's Sweet 16th. I had spoken to Sharon on the phone and shared this with her--my 10 yr old dtr, recalling that I was in a psych hospital last yr on her 9th birthday--said, well, you ruined one person's birthday in this family already; are you going to ruin another one?...oh Lord, I just fell on my face on my bed and sobbed. She felt bad after she said it, and said, I didn't mean it to come out that way...but I could tell with the nasty tone she had when she said it, it was intended to wound me. I have so much guilt in me, and I don't know how to even begin to deal with it, or rid myself of it. The kids are here, watching a movie, and I'm going up to bed to read. I've taken my valium and hope it can calm the crawling out of my skin feeling I have. I love you all here, and have read all your wonderful, supportive posts to me. I cling to them each and all, as I do to each of you for your beautiful and amazing care. It means more to me than words can convey. bless you each and all, KateWe can only be said to be alive in those momentswhen our hearts are conscious of our treasures. ~Thornton Wilder -- Breast Cancer Patients Soul Mates for Life http://www.geocities.com/chucky5741/breastcancerpatients.htmlAnxiety Depression and Breast Cancer http://health.group.yahoo.com/group/AnxietyDepressionandBreastCancerAngel Feather Loomerwww.angelfeatherloomer.blogspot.comCheck out my other ornaments at www.geocities.com/chucky5741/bcornament.htmlThe Cancer Clubwww.cancerclub.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 30, 2007 Report Share Posted November 30, 2007 Dear Kate:Let me know how you feel in the morning. Are you taking the Cymbalta? What mg are you taking? Doesn't your neuro prescribe them for you? If so, maybe he could increase the dose or switch you to something else. Can you call your sister and ask her for her help? We'll talk tomorrow sometime, okay? loveSharon This email is a natural hand made product. The slight variations in spelling and grammar enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or defects. update Try as I might, I could not get anyone to help me with the kids today. I could not go to ER or be admitted. The best I could 'work out', was to contact my neuro and ask him to call in a script for something to help me calm down. He was reluctant to, as he said when he saw me the beginning of this wk, my depression had him very concerned, and he had wanted to admit me himself. He said, how can I trust you with a bottle of pills? I said, well, I just need something to help me through until I can find a psychiatrist to help me manage my meds. He called in 5 valium. Just picked them up, after Luke's hockey game. It is really hard holding it together, you know? I have to try for my kids' sake. Tomorrow is Lia's Sweet 16th. I had spoken to Sharon on the phone and shared this with her--my 10 yr old dtr, recalling that I was in a psych hospital last yr on her 9th birthday--said, well, you ruined one person's birthday in this family already; are you going to ruin another one?...oh Lord, I just fell on my face on my bed and sobbed. She felt bad after she said it, and said, I didn't mean it to come out that way...but I could tell with the nasty tone she had when she said it, it was intended to wound me. I have so much guilt in me, and I don't know how to even begin to deal with it, or rid myself of it. The kids are here, watching a movie, and I'm going up to bed to read. I've taken my valium and hope it can calm the crawling out of my skin feeling I have. I love you all here, and have read all your wonderful, supportive posts to me. I cling to them each and all, as I do to each of you for your beautiful and amazing care. It means more to me than words can convey. bless you each and all, Kate We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures. ~Thornton Wilder Be a better sports nut! Let your teams follow you with Yahoo Mobile. Try it now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 1, 2007 Report Share Posted December 1, 2007 Kate, wishing your daughter a happy birthday and you the calm and serenity needed to make it through it all Love you Hun Akiba -- update Try as I might, I could not get anyone to help me with the kids today. I could not go to ER or be admitted. The best I could 'work out', was to contact my neuro and ask him to call in a script for something to help me calm down. He was reluctant to, as he said when he saw me the beginning of this wk, my depression had him very concerned, and he had wanted to admit me himself. He said, how can I trust you with a bottle of pills? I said, well, I just need something to help me through until I can find a psychiatrist to help me manage my meds. He called in 5 valium. Just picked them up, after Luke's hockey game. It is really hard holding it together, you know? I have to try for my kids' sake. Tomorrow is Lia's Sweet 16th. I had spoken to Sharon on the phone and shared this with her--my 10 yr old dtr, recalling that I was in a psych hospital last yr on her 9th birthday--said, well, you ruined one person's birthday in this family already; are you going to ruin another one?...oh Lord, I just fell on my face on my bed and sobbed. She felt bad after she said it, and said, I didn't mean it to come out that way...but I could tell with the nasty tone she had when she said it, it was intended to wound me. I have so much guilt in me, and I don't know how to even begin to deal with it, or rid myself of it. The kids are here, watching a movie, and I'm going up to bed to read. I've taken my valium and hope it can calm the crawling out of my skin feeling I have. I love you all here, and have read all your wonderful, supportive posts to me. I cling to them each and all, as I do to each of you for your beautiful and amazing care. It means more to me than words can convey. bless you each and all, KateWe can only be said to be alive in those momentswhen our hearts are conscious of our treasures.~Thornton Wilder Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 1, 2007 Report Share Posted December 1, 2007 I second that....and heavy on the calm and serenity for Kate to make it through! loveSharon This email is a natural hand made product. The slight variations in spelling and grammar enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or defects. update Try as I might, I could not get anyone to help me with the kids today. I could not go to ER or be admitted. The best I could 'work out', was to contact my neuro and ask him to call in a script for something to help me calm down. He was reluctant to, as he said when he saw me the beginning of this wk, my depression had him very concerned, and he had wanted to admit me himself. He said, how can I trust you with a bottle of pills? I said, well, I just need something to help me through until I can find a psychiatrist to help me manage my meds. He called in 5 valium. Just picked them up, after Luke's hockey game. It is really hard holding it together, you know? I have to try for my kids' sake. Tomorrow is Lia's Sweet 16th. I had spoken to Sharon on the phone and shared this with her--my 10 yr old dtr, recalling that I was in a psych hospital last yr on her 9th birthday--said, well, you ruined one person's birthday in this family already; are you going to ruin another one?...oh Lord, I just fell on my face on my bed and sobbed. She felt bad after she said it, and said, I didn't mean it to come out that way...but I could tell with the nasty tone she had when she said it, it was intended to wound me. I have so much guilt in me, and I don't know how to even begin to deal with it, or rid myself of it. The kids are here, watching a movie, and I'm going up to bed to read. I've taken my valium and hope it can calm the crawling out of my skin feeling I have. I love you all here, and have read all your wonderful, supportive posts to me. I cling to them each and all, as I do to each of you for your beautiful and amazing care. It means more to me than words can convey. bless you each and all, KateWe can only be said to be alive in those momentswhen our hearts are conscious of our treasures.~Thornton Wilder Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 1, 2007 Report Share Posted December 1, 2007 They're incredible, aren't they? ) Challis Re: update Kate,I am sending you my husbands cell phone number. He said he will be glad to help in whatever way he can, even if it is to amuse the kids for an hour or two or to do some errands for you or drive you to wherever you need to go in the morning before he has to be to work. Right now he is working afternoons. He will be coming hom Wednesday and heading back down Sunday afternoon I think. He will be working days for 2 weeks after that so he will be available during the evening hours then.He can explain it better to you when you speak to him. I want you to promise me you will call him!!!! He is there, close to you, and willing to help!!! LET HIM HELP YOU!!!!! PLEASE!!! His number is ****. I have already told him I was going to give you his number so he will be expecting your call and I won't stop harrassing you until you call him and let him help you, lol. I am relentless, just like my son!!!You are no good to anyone if you can't function yourself. I know some days if you can just rest a little while, get a catnap, have the kids out of your hair and quiet for a bit it makes a huge difference!! Please let us help!!!Hugs,Peggy>> Try as I might, I could not get anyone to help me with the kids today. I > could not go to ER or be admitted. The best I could 'work out', was to > contact my neuro and ask him to call in a script for something to help me > calm down. He was reluctant to, as he said when he saw me the beginning of > this wk, my depression had him very concerned, and he had wanted to admit me > himself. He said, how can I trust you with a bottle of pills? I said, well, > I just need something to help me through until I can find a psychiatrist to > help me manage my meds. He called in 5 valium. Just picked them up, after > Luke's hockey game. It is really hard holding it together, you know? I have > to try for my kids' sake. Tomorrow is Lia's Sweet 16th. I had spoken to > Sharon on the phone and shared this with her--my 10 yr old dtr, recalling > that I was in a psych hospital last yr on her 9th birthday--said, well, you > ruined one person's birthday in this family already; are you going to ruin > another one?...oh Lord, I just fell on my face on my bed and sobbed. She > felt bad after she said it, and said, I didn't mean it to come out that > way...but I could tell with the nasty tone she had when she said it, it was > intended to wound me. I have so much guilt in me, and I don't know how to > even begin to deal with it, or rid myself of it. The kids are here, watching > a movie, and I'm going up to bed to read. I've taken my valium and hope it > can calm the crawling out of my skin feeling I have. I love you all here, > and have read all your wonderful, supportive posts to me. I cling to them > each and all, as I do to each of you for your beautiful and amazing care. It > means more to me than words can convey. bless you each and all, Kate> > > > We can only be said to be alive in those moments> when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.> ~Thornton Wilder> Be a better sports nut! Let your teams follow you with Yahoo Mobile. Try it now. Be a better sports nut! Let your teams follow you with Yahoo Mobile. Try it now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 20, 2007 Report Share Posted December 20, 2007 Yay! Glad to hear this all from you, ! I'm heading for a nap right now. I am exhausted! love to you, Kate update I am glad to say that the problems I was having a few days ago are now gone. I got in a bit of trouble for not taking my needle faithfully and I got lots of rest. I am feeling much better and I am trying my hardest to keep the needles going every other day so I keep the attacks slowed right down. thanks for all ur input and concern though. teresa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 20, 2007 Report Share Posted December 20, 2007 glad you are doing better. Continued prayers. Hugs nne I am glad to say that the problems I was having a few days ago are now gone. I got in a bit of trouble for not taking my needle faithfully and I got lots of rest. I am feeling much better and I am trying my hardest to keep the needles going every other day so I keep the attacks slowed right down. thanks for all ur input and concern though. teresa -- Breast Cancer Patients Soul Mates for Life http://www.geocities.com/chucky5741/breastcancerpatients.htmlAnxiety Depression and Breast Cancer http://health.group.yahoo.com/group/AnxietyDepressionandBreastCancerAngel Feather Loomerwww.angelfeatherloomer.blogspot.comCheck out my other ornaments at www.geocities.com/chucky5741/bcornament.htmlThe Cancer Clubwww.cancerclub.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 20, 2007 Report Share Posted December 20, 2007 Thanks for your continued prayers one can never get enough prayers. some days I just have had enough of this disease and struggle with wanting to keep going. Some days are so much harder then other days and the only ones that understand i think are the ones living with MS. > > > > I am glad to say that the problems I was having a few days ago are now > > gone. I got in a bit of trouble for not taking my needle faithfully > > and I got lots of rest. I am feeling much better and I am trying my > > hardest to keep the needles going every other day so I keep the attacks > > slowed right down. > > thanks for all ur input and concern though. > > teresa > > > > > > > > > > -- > Breast Cancer Patients Soul Mates for Life > http://www.geocities.com/chucky5741/breastcancerpatients.html > > Anxiety Depression and Breast Cancer > http://health.group.yahoo.com/group/AnxietyDepressionandBreastCancer > > Angel Feather Loomer > www.angelfeatherloomer.blogspot.com > > Check out my other ornaments at > www.geocities.com/chucky5741/bcornament.html > > The Cancer Club > www.cancerclub.com > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 20, 2007 Report Share Posted December 20, 2007 Thanks! I just find it so hard to go lay down in the middle of the afternoon. I guess if I got use to it it may help me alot in the long run eh? hugs to you > > Yay! Glad to hear this all from you, ! > I'm heading for a nap right now. I am exhausted! love to you, Kate > update > > > I am glad to say that the problems I was having a few days ago are now > gone. I got in a bit of trouble for not taking my needle faithfully > and I got lots of rest. I am feeling much better and I am trying my > hardest to keep the needles going every other day so I keep the attacks > slowed right down. > thanks for all ur input and concern though. > teresa > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 20, 2007 Report Share Posted December 20, 2007 Thank you for the update. And I'm so glad to hear things have calmed down for you! What a relief. Take care and rest as much as you can.hugs)))Sharon This email is a natural hand made product. The slight variations in spelling and grammar enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or defects. update I am glad to say that the problems I was having a few days ago are now gone. I got in a bit of trouble for not taking my needle faithfully and I got lots of rest. I am feeling much better and I am trying my hardest to keep the needles going every other day so I keep the attacks slowed right down. thanks for all ur input and concern though. teresa Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2008 Report Share Posted January 11, 2008 Hi Cassy, I received your text. I'm sorry I haven't gotten back to you yet. I'm glad you are going in for the MRI's I know something is going to show up. Maybe then, you'll be able to get something for the pain you are in. I am so sorry. I'm lifting you in prayer. Let us know how things are going. I'll try to give you a call this weekend. Love and blessings... Val <*)))><payngabby@... wrote: Hi Guys!Sorry I havnt been around much I have been having a real tough wk.Since sunday both my eyes have been killing me.I seen my pcp a few days ago and she gave me a rx for Tegretol and squared away the biopsy and neuro-muscular referals.Then today I seen the eye specialist.She did another visual field.Still the same-visual defect w/scattered spots or sumthn She thinks the TN has spread to my left eye and jaw area.She is ordering 2 mris to be sure.They will check my eyes,brain,sinus area,and neck.And will be w/contrast!Thank god.She said contrast does matter but she is doing slices and will look at the sacral area as well.Im a mess.Cannot go outside,it hurts my eyes to bad(and its practically dark!)And im having a hard time reading,watching tv and sometimes chewing sends this unbearable pain up my jaw to behind my eye.I miss you all and im praying for each and everyone of you.I am getting the tegretol tomorow and will continue the neurontin too so hopefully it will make it manageable.luv u all!cassy__________________________________________________________More new features than ever. Check out the new AOL Mail ! - http://webmail.aol.comEuphemisms are unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne. ~Quentin Crisp~ Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2008 Report Share Posted January 11, 2008 Hi Val! No worries. I didnt see yours till today. I do hope for answers. She is worried. You know how it is when the doc is worried,makes us worry even more.lol. I still hope they made the mistake of not doing the mris good enough and will tell me I have ms.I know sounds crazy but all this other stuff they say I may have is too scary. And she did say contrast does matter. The other doc said it didnt! I new better and was grateful someone agreed. We will see. Call anytime. Luv ya! cassy Re: Update Hi Cassy, I received your text. I'm sorry I haven't gotten back to you yet. I'm glad you are going in for the MRI's I know something is going to show up. Maybe then, you'll be able to get something for the pain you are in. I am so sorry. I'm lifting you in prayer. Let us know how things are going. I'll try to give you a call this weekend. Love and blessings... Val payngabby@... wrote: Hi Guys!Sorry I havnt been around much I have been having a real tough wk.Since sunday both my eyes have been killing me.I seen my pcp a few days ago and she gave me a rx for Tegretol and squared away the biopsy and neuro-muscular referals.Then today I seen the eye specialist.She did another visual field.Still the same-visual defect w/scattered spots or sumthn She thinks the TN has spread to my left eye and jaw area.She is ordering 2 mris to be sure.They will check my eyes,brain,sinus area,and neck.And will be w/contrast!Thank god.She said contrast does matter but she is doing slices and will look at the sacral area as well.Im a mess.Cannot go outside,it hurts my eyes to bad(and its practically dark!)And im having a hard time reading,watching tv and sometimes chewing sends this unbearable pain up my jaw to behind my eye.I miss you all and im praying for each and everyone of you.I am getting the tegretol tomorow and will continue the neurontin too so hopefully it will make it manageable.luv u all! cassy __________________________________________________________ More new features than ever. Check out the new AOL Mail ! - http://webmail.aol.com Euphemisms are unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne. ~Quentin Crisp~ Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. #AOLMsgPart_2_98f54a1f-aca3-460a-a46f-80b42204ab56 #AOLMsgPart_2_98f54a1f-aca3-460a-a46f-80b42204ab56 #AOLMsgPart_2_98f54a1f-aca3-460a-a46f-80b42204ab56 ________________________________________________________________________ More new features than ever. Check out the new AOL Mail ! - http://webmail.aol.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 12, 2008 Report Share Posted January 12, 2008 Hey Cassy! Yeah, I'd rather it be MS too. There's another disease that I've been wondering about. I have a friend who has...Oh crud! I can't remember what it's called. HSP, I think. It causes a lot of the symptoms that you describe. If I'm not mistaken, I think it is also genetic. I'll try to get ahold of her tomorrow and ask her what it's called. I do know that it often times gets misdiagnosed as MS. Whatever you have, I do hope they find a dx for you soon. I don't know how you take the not knowing. TTYL tator! Love and blessings... Val payngabby@... wrote: Hi Val! No worries. I didnt see yours till today. I do hope for answers. She is worried. You know how it is when the doc is worried,makes us worry even more.lol. I still hope they made the mistake of not doing the mris good enough and will tell me I have ms.I know sounds crazy but all this other stuff they say I may have is too scary. And she did say contrast does matter. The other doc said it didnt! I new better and was grateful someone agreed. We will see. Call anytime. Luv ya!cassy Re: UpdateHi Cassy, I received your text. I'm sorry I haven't gotten back to you yet. I'm glad you are going in for the MRI's I know something is going to show up. Maybe then, you'll be able to get something for the pain you are in. I am so sorry. I'm lifting you in prayer. Let us know how things are going. I'll try to give you a call this weekend. Love and blessings... Valpayngabbyaol wrote: Hi Guys!Sorry I havnt been around much I have been having a real toughwk.Since sunday both my eyes have been killing me.I seen my pcp a fewdays ago and she gave me a rx for Tegretol and squared away the biopsyand neuro-muscular referals.Then today I seen the eye specialist.Shedid another visual field.Still the same-visual defect w/scattered spotsor sumthn She thinks the TN has spread to my left eye and jaw area.Sheis ordering 2 mris to be sure.They will check my eyes,brain,sinusarea,and neck.And will be w/contrast!Thank god.She said contrast doesmatter but she is doing slices and will look at the sacral area aswell.Im a mess.Cannot go outside,it hurts my eyes to bad(and itspractically dark!)And im having a hard time reading,watching tv andsometimes chewing sends this unbearable pain up my jaw to behind myeye.I miss you all and im praying for each and everyone of you.I amgetting the tegretol tomorow and will continue the neurontin too sohopefully it will make it manageable.luv u all!cassy__________________________________________________________More new features than ever. Check out the new AOL Mail ! -http://webmail.aol.comEuphemisms are unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne. ~Quentin Crisp~Looking for last minute shopping deals?Find them fast with Yahoo! Search.#AOLMsgPart_2_98f54a1f-aca3-460a-a46f-80b42204ab56#AOLMsgPart_2_98f54a1f-aca3-460a-a46f-80b42204ab56#AOLMsgPart_2_98f54a1f-aca3-460a-a46f-80b42204ab56__________________________________________________________More new features than ever. Check out the new AOL Mail ! - http://webmail.aol.comEuphemisms are unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne. ~Quentin Crisp~ Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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