RE: adult child w/bpd

[Guest guest]

My daughter was a horrible infant also. At her first month check up, the

pediatrician asked if she was sleeping 16 or so hrs a day. I said NO she screma

16 or so hrs a day!

I wonder if any other BPs as infants were particularly irritable. Maybe

their brains were diff even then. And is it a coomon thread that they are

jealous

of other girls and friendless?

Let's see. Dirtbag doesn't work, he gives the baby tons of attention (atr

least while she's an infant). I can't wait till the " honeymoon " is over.

Jean

[Guest guest]

I felt the in-laws were a threat, because I perceived ANYTHING as a threat

that took my husband from my side. That included spending time with my dtr

when she was first born, and going to a men's breakfast at church, and

everything in between.

No, I don't think they liked me, and I still believe that. I was born in

California and moved to Oregon when I was 12. Moved to Tulsa when I was 19,

and finally to SC when I was 30 (last vestiges of bp hanging on then).

Not being Southern born and bred was a distinct disadvantage as far as my

husband's siblings were concerned. My husband and I had a relationship that

worked, and one that has evolved into something very solid over the years.

But, at the time, they were astounded that I did not do things like get up

early in order to cook my husband breakfast, and then pack him a lunch to

send him off to work. You must understand that when we first moved to SC,

we left Tulsa with only a few dollars. Our eldest was a baby of five

months.

The South is extremely conservative, very traditional as to the roles of men

and women. In our area, a lot of people from the North have come and moved,

because we have many lakes and mountains, and the cost of living is much

cheaper than up north.

My Southern born and bred in-laws were appalled at my lack of proper

behavior. When we first moved to the South, we stayed with my husband's

brother and family for two very long weeks, and then his sister for another

equally long two weeks. I was never so glad to get our own place as after

that first month.

Now, I can't speak to other areas of the South, but where we live, most of

the locals have very little education. Many feel proud to have simply

completed high school. Most, until recently, have worked in mills and

textile factories all their lives. Their aspirations for their lives are

very low. Many fall into the category commonly known as " red necks. "

Family, and being part of a family, is very big for those born and bred

here, much more so than I have seen in other parts of the country.

However, neither my husband nor I could stand these relatives. They were

always dropping by at incredibly inconvenient times, expected ME to wait on

them hand and foot (I don't wait on anyone hand and foot), ME to serve them

heavily sugared tea, ME to cook them meals, ME to jump up and respond to

their every need.

Needless to say, this sparked a great deal of conflict between us. They

thought I was horrid and a terrible wife, and I can tell you honestly that I

didn't like them any better. And, no, we still don't like each other. They

expect me to be and act like a person born and bred in the South, and I'm

not and won't.

There are, however, many Southerners who are truly fine people. Often

times, for me, I find that I relate better to those who are transplanted

from another part of the country, or those who, although born in the South,

have a bit more education and a broader world view.

Will I ever like my husband's siblings? Probably not. I think they're

hicks and the worst representations of the South I have ever come across.

To me, they embody the worst of the South and its peoples. Will they ever

like me? Probably not. I refuse to conform to people's ideas of who and

what they think I should be just because they think that. I find that a

very poor reason to change.

But, over the years, we have come to an uneasy, but workable truce. They

have my husband's cell phone number. If they want to talk with him, they

call him on the cell phone. That way, I don't know when they've called, and

don't resent them for interfering in our lives. My husband, by the way, is

very ambivalent where his family is concerned. He has, in one sense, a lot

of family.

He was orphaned at 9 years of age, and he and his two other full-blood

siblings were adopted out to three different families. So, he has his

biological parents, both who died within a month of each (they lived in

different towns), and biological family; he also has adopted parents and

adoptive family.

In addition, to mix things up even more, he was a product of his biological

father's third marriage. His dad was in his 50s when my husband was born.

Thus, he has all manner of half brothers and sisters wandering around the

south. Many of them have died in the past year or two at a rather alarming

rate.

Naturally, whenever one of these half brothers or sisters has died, my

husband's brother (who is the biggest pain in the neck) wants my husband to

come, me to bring food (which of course I have to cook and not buy), hang

around mourning, go to the receiving of friends, stand with the family and

finally the funeral. All this for someone my husband didn't even know.

Needless to say, he doesn't do that. He was no interest in that sort of

thing, and neither do I. I think it is " nice " that the brother lets my

husband know they've passed, but . . . . So, I get blamed for my husband's

lack of participation, and although it chafes me, as long as I don't have to

deal with them, it's okay with me.

Oh, one more thing. My husband's interfering brother has been working

diligently on a family tree. With all the half's running around, he's

trying to reconstruct the family and family history. That's okay.

But, he asked me for information on MY family, and I told him it was none of

his business. He was VERY offended. But, back then, I still blamed my

family for a lot of my problems, and had been very happy to shuck my maiden

name when I married, and had no intention of letting it be immortalized by

this pseudo-brother-in-law.

A lot has happened since then, and I've changed a lot. But, I still don't

like the husband's siblings, they're still interfering and trying to have a

relationship with my husband that he doesn't want and he finds their

communications uncomfortable. And, it is still none of their business as to

my family history.

Guess I've gone on here for a bit. Hope that answers your question.

[Guest guest]

My bp dtr's boyfriend is . . . well, I probably shouldn't say EXACTLY what

I think of him online!

My bp dtr is highly offended we don't like the guy. I told her it wasn't

that we disliked him as much as he hasn't done anything to garner our

respect. I mean, he refuses to get a job and mooches off whoever is hand.

What's there to respect?

Re: Re: adult child w/bpd

Your husband's family (all parts and sides of it) sound a great deal like my

daughter's husband and his family. They would be the Northern style

" rednecks " . His mother's toilet stopped working a while back. Instead of

calling a

plummer, she just scooped out the water and threw it outside!!! Ugh! I

thought I was going to vomit when told me this.

And was appalled and told me how disgusting this was and now she's

bossom buddies with them. I know she has left my grandsons with his mother.

I find it very hard to be civil to this guy. My daughter tells me I look at

him like he's dirt. He's been in and out of jail since he was 15; he's now

24.

Total time actually served during those years is 7.5 yrs out of 9. How can

I think anything good of him. And he always gives ME an attitude like he's

superior. My son says that's the typical felon behavior. My son says for

some

reason they don't know they're scum. They think they're better than

everyone

else. Perhaps it's a defense mechanism.

I start wondering to myself if maybe I should have given him a chance. But,

my cousin, sho is a director of 7 daycares in the state (not my grandson's

however), says they hired a kid who had been in jail. She said he's been

employed there for a bit over 6 months and he still thanks them for having

given him

a chance. My daughter's dirtbag, wouldn't apply at Mac's because he

said it's beneath him. I think " working " is beneath him when it's so much

easier

to steal or be a " kept: man

I don't know how you have stood your in laws this long. You are obviously

so

intelligent and it doesn't sound like they're the brightest lights on the

tree. One more added source of stress in your life??!!

Thanks for the clarification. As usual trying to figure out my dauighter's

thinking and situations. I'm having a weal day today.

Jean

[Guest guest]

Oh, yes, I felt hugely threatened when my dtr was born!!! She was different

from the very beginning. My husband would be at work (he was a manager at a

retail store), and she'd scream the whole time he was gone, for hours and

hours and hours.

There were many times I stuck her in her crib and walked out the door into

the park next to our apt. complex. If I wouldn't have done that, even

though it is not " good mothering, " she'd probably be dead now, and I'd be in

jail.

But when my husband would come home from work, I'd shove her in his arms and

burst into tears. Then, instead of spending time with me, and helping me,

he'd have to deal with the baby. He would literally swing her in his arms

for hours (she didn't like a regular baby swing), and sing to her.

I was incredibly jealous, and very resentful that this small bundle of what

was supposed to be joy, but wasn't, was taking him away from me. We had

zero time to ourselves; instead, all our energies were being poured into

this tiny person who only knew how to scream. Those were really awful days.

Re: Re: adult child w/bpd

You felt your daughter was a threat when she was born? I had said to my son

that I cannot believe that is not jealous of the baby since Will

(dirtbag) seemed to be very

attached to the baby. She was even jealous of the only female dog I had

when

she was 11. And she HATES all females her own age. Never had any girl

friends, only boys who were friends from when she started school. To this

day she

has no female friends, actually no friends at all.

Jean

[Guest guest]

I think bps are friendless because they don't know how to maintain healthy

relationships, and yes, I agree--because they're terribly jealous and want

to " own " their friends exclusively.

Re: Re: adult child w/bpd

My daughter was a horrible infant also. At her first month check up, the

pediatrician asked if she was sleeping 16 or so hrs a day. I said NO she

screma

16 or so hrs a day!

I wonder if any other BPs as infants were particularly irritable. Maybe

their brains were diff even then. And is it a coomon thread that they are

jealous

of other girls and friendless?

Let's see. Dirtbag doesn't work, he gives the baby tons of attention (atr

least while she's an infant). I can't wait till the " honeymoon " is over.

Jean

[Guest guest]

in response to adult daughters w/BPD - yes my daughter is friendless, and is

very jealous of other girls, to the point of making things up about them and

causing problems and chaos constantly. Kind of like what goes on in our

house daily! She is now 18 1/2 and has an 11 year old younger sister who she

has been extremely jealous of since she was born, she is very mean to her

sister, both verbally and physically. I have been reading " Siren's Dance " an

excellent book, although scary at times, how it mirror's my daughter's life

though she has never been married (yet) with her past and current relationships

I

can really relate to this book, it puts things into perspective for me as her

Mother in what she goes through, and what her mate will have to do to

survive her as well. Like the book says, the mate can walk - we as her

parent's

cannot!

[Guest guest]

,

Is funny you say that, but in reverse I feel the same way about my DH's family.

They enable him in ways I just dont want to deal with. I would rather be

without them in our life. But then again, they are a big part of h is problems

both genetically and the way he was raised and treated all his life!

Hugs

Kelley

RE: Re: adult child w/bpd

Kelley--

I HAD to comment on your email.

How well I remember dealing with my husband's family members back when we

first got married. I hated all of them . . . whether they were actually

worthy of hate or not.

I saw them as direct threats to the relationship I had with my husband, and

I KNEW (unreasonably, to be sure) that if he allowed them to " suck him in " I

would lose my husband.

[Guest guest]

Kelley

You don't soumd like (what my interpretation is of) a " redneck " . When I

think of " redneck "

I sort of think of those great folks in Deliverance. But I used to live in

Washing DC for 10 years and had many Southern friends who had been transplanted

as had I been. They used to laugh about the rednecks who lived in the

backwoods of Montgomery County in land.

Jean

[Guest guest]

Kelley

Are you origianlly from the South? I've been thinking and thinking about how

to get far far away from all this. said you're from Georgia, correct?

There are a lot of Northern transplants there, aren't there? I've also heard

that South Carolina and North Carolina are nice places. Cost of living

supposed to be less than up here and people are easier going--not AS much

stress.

After all, I can sell real estate anywhere. I just have to learn the area.

I actually daydream while driving of starting my life over. Forget my

daughter and grandchildren ever existed. I am crying as I write this in regards

to

my grandsons, but I know I will end up sick if I don't put all this behind and

my son at least deserves a mother.

Jean

[Guest guest]

,

sounds absolutely gorgeous. I like the idea that it would be cost

effective to live there, but worry about the job opportunities and salaries.

We

make good money " UP north " hehe. And of course, being a " jersey girl " ,

could not bear to be that far away from the ocean, although we do a tremendous

amount of kayaking and lake fishing too. I live 10 mins. from my " oceanfront

property " . We are beach-buggiers.

This is why NC is sounding better by the minute.

Hugs to all,

Debbie

[Guest guest]

Now hang on a minute both of you, I am southern and probably a redneck to boot,

but we do call a plumber when the toilet doesnt work! There is a difference in

country and redneck and SCUM!

Hugs

kelley

Re: Re: adult child w/bpd

Your husband's family (all parts and sides of it) sound a great deal like my

daughter's husband and his family. They would be the Northern style

" rednecks " . His mother's toilet stopped working a while back. Instead of

calling a

plummer, she just scooped out the water and threw it outside!!! Ugh! I

thought I was going to vomit when told me this.

And was appalled and told me how disgusting this was and now she's

bossom buddies with them. I know she has left my grandsons with his mother.

I find it very hard to be civil to this guy. My daughter tells me I look at

him like he's dirt. He's been in and out of jail since he was 15; he's now 24.

Total time actually served during those years is 7.5 yrs out of 9. How can

I think anything good of him. And he always gives ME an attitude like he's

superior. My son says that's the typical felon behavior. My son says for

some

reason they don't know they're scum. They think they're better than everyone

else. Perhaps it's a defense mechanism.

I start wondering to myself if maybe I should have given him a chance. But,

my cousin, sho is a director of 7 daycares in the state (not my grandson's

however), says they hired a kid who had been in jail. She said he's been

employed there for a bit over 6 months and he still thanks them for having

given him

a chance. My daughter's dirtbag, wouldn't apply at Mac's because he

said it's beneath him. I think " working " is beneath him when it's so much

easier

to steal or be a " kept: man

I don't know how you have stood your in laws this long. You are obviously so

intelligent and it doesn't sound like they're the brightest lights on the

tree. One more added source of stress in your life??!!

Thanks for the clarification. As usual trying to figure out my dauighter's

thinking and situations. I'm having a weal day today.

Jean

[Guest guest]

Kelley--

How right you are! I know you live in Georgia, and are probably Southern to

your bones.

The folks I'm talking about are not the true, very genteel and gracious

Southerner's, but rather those low-lying red-bellied SCUM (as you so

succinctly pointed out).

It's almost like there's a sub-society in the South, where those folks live,

breath and work (sociologists have a term for it, but I can't remember what

it is)--almost a sub culture.

I hope you weren't offended, because I certainly didn't mean my remarks to

offend anyone. I find most Southerners very pleasant to be around, and not

difficult to deal with. But, there are till those low-lying belly folks . .

..

Re: Re: adult child w/bpd

Now hang on a minute both of you, I am southern and probably a redneck to

boot, but we do call a plumber when the toilet doesnt work! There is a

difference in country and redneck and SCUM!

Hugs

kelley

Re: Re: adult child w/bpd

Your husband's family (all parts and sides of it) sound a great deal like

my

daughter's husband and his family. They would be the Northern style

" rednecks " . His mother's toilet stopped working a while back. Instead of

calling a

plummer, she just scooped out the water and threw it outside!!! Ugh! I

thought I was going to vomit when told me this.

And was appalled and told me how disgusting this was and now she's

bossom buddies with them. I know she has left my grandsons with his

mother.

I find it very hard to be civil to this guy. My daughter tells me I look

at

him like he's dirt. He's been in and out of jail since he was 15; he's now

24.

Total time actually served during those years is 7.5 yrs out of 9. How

can

I think anything good of him. And he always gives ME an attitude like

he's

superior. My son says that's the typical felon behavior. My son says for

some

reason they don't know they're scum. They think they're better than

everyone

else. Perhaps it's a defense mechanism.

I start wondering to myself if maybe I should have given him a chance.

But,

my cousin, sho is a director of 7 daycares in the state (not my grandson's

however), says they hired a kid who had been in jail. She said he's been

employed there for a bit over 6 months and he still thanks them for having

given him

a chance. My daughter's dirtbag, wouldn't apply at Mac's because he

said it's beneath him. I think " working " is beneath him when it's so much

easier

to steal or be a " kept: man

I don't know how you have stood your in laws this long. You are obviously

so

intelligent and it doesn't sound like they're the brightest lights on the

tree. One more added source of stress in your life??!!

Thanks for the clarification. As usual trying to figure out my

dauighter's

thinking and situations. I'm having a weal day today.

Jean

[Guest guest]

Nah not offended just being funny, but yes we have our share of scum down here

lol

Hugs

Kelley

Re: Re: adult child w/bpd

Your husband's family (all parts and sides of it) sound a great deal like

my

daughter's husband and his family. They would be the Northern style

" rednecks " . His mother's toilet stopped working a while back. Instead of

calling a

plummer, she just scooped out the water and threw it outside!!! Ugh! I

thought I was going to vomit when told me this.

And was appalled and told me how disgusting this was and now she's

bossom buddies with them. I know she has left my grandsons with his

mother.

I find it very hard to be civil to this guy. My daughter tells me I look

at

him like he's dirt. He's been in and out of jail since he was 15; he's now

24.

Total time actually served during those years is 7.5 yrs out of 9. How

can

I think anything good of him. And he always gives ME an attitude like

he's

superior. My son says that's the typical felon behavior. My son says for

some

reason they don't know they're scum. They think they're better than

everyone

else. Perhaps it's a defense mechanism.

I start wondering to myself if maybe I should have given him a chance.

But,

my cousin, sho is a director of 7 daycares in the state (not my grandson's

however), says they hired a kid who had been in jail. She said he's been

employed there for a bit over 6 months and he still thanks them for having

given him

a chance. My daughter's dirtbag, wouldn't apply at Mac's because he

said it's beneath him. I think " working " is beneath him when it's so much

easier

to steal or be a " kept: man

I don't know how you have stood your in laws this long. You are obviously

so

intelligent and it doesn't sound like they're the brightest lights on the

tree. One more added source of stress in your life??!!

Thanks for the clarification. As usual trying to figure out my

dauighter's

thinking and situations. I'm having a weal day today.

Jean

[Guest guest]

Jean

I probably dont personally fall into the actual redneck category LOL but my

husband sure does. He was literally raised in a " holler " in Kentucky. If you

have seen Coal Miners Daughter thats about what it was like where he grew up!

Hugs

Kelley

Re: Re: adult child w/bpd

Kelley

You don't soumd like (what my interpretation is of) a " redneck " . When I

think of " redneck "

I sort of think of those great folks in Deliverance. But I used to live in

Washing DC for 10 years and had many Southern friends who had been

transplanted

as had I been. They used to laugh about the rednecks who lived in the

backwoods of Montgomery County in land.

Jean

[Guest guest]

We live in what is known as the " Golden Corner " of South Carolina. When you

look at the map of SC, go to the top left-hand corner, the very tip, and

that's us!!!

It's a GREAT place to live. We have tons and tons of folks living here

transplanted from New England and the rather ambiguous " up North. "

Our area is rather unique. We're nestled at the base of the Blue Ridge

Mountains, so most of the time snow and ice jumps over us. We have

beautiful natural and national forests, the most waterfalls in the whole

state of SC combined, lots and lots and lots of lakefront property. It

seems I read at one point that we have 1500 miles of lake shoreline.

The cost of living here is so much less than " up north. " Many folks find

they can afford much nicer homes here than " up north. " To be honest, real

estate is booming here, and has for the whole time we've lived here (17

years now).

Our county hosts several small communities; but we are also only about 45

minutes from Greenville, which is a nice sized town.

Climate-wise, we miss most of the humidity that the South is famous for.

Sure, summers are usually in the 90s (late July, August and part of Sept.),

but the last couple years, nothing over 100 degrees.

We have lots and lots of trees--magnolias, Bradford pears, oaks, maples,

dogwoods, etc. as well as pine forests.

There is a lot for the outdoor minded person to do, and many cultural events

in Greenville. Large communities, waterfalls, mountains, even ocean (5

hours) are within easy driving distance. Lots of lake fishing.

Re: Re: adult child w/bpd

Kelley

Are you origianlly from the South? I've been thinking and thinking about

how

to get far far away from all this. said you're from Georgia, correct?

There are a lot of Northern transplants there, aren't there? I've also

heard

that South Carolina and North Carolina are nice places. Cost of living

supposed to be less than up here and people are easier going--not AS much

stress.

After all, I can sell real estate anywhere. I just have to learn the area.

I actually daydream while driving of starting my life over. Forget my

daughter and grandchildren ever existed. I am crying as I write this in

regards to

my grandsons, but I know I will end up sick if I don't put all this behind

and

my son at least deserves a mother.

Jean

[Guest guest]

Kelley

I live in a suburb of Providence, the capital and the only city anyone

outside of RI has ever heard of.

One of my son's roommates from college lives in Atlanta. He was originally

from NJ. My son says his friend loves it there.

Jean

[Guest guest]

I ordered the book you mentioned in your post. I will be picking it up

tomorrow. Can't wait to see what else I am in for with her relationship with a

female child who her dirtbag gives lots of attention to. As I mentioned in a

previous post, my daughter was even jealous of our female Springer Spaniel, who

my son always says was prettier than her anyway!!!!

My daughter always, to this day, has some negative comment about any girl

that she sees as a threat to her. One more of her enduring characteristics.

Jean

[Guest guest]

Kelley

What made your husband start to turn his life around? Has he admitted that

he definitely

has a problem? Does he go to counseling?

I was just reading about the children of bps and how the parents emotionally

abuse them and undermine their self esteem. I just keep getting more and more

worried about the boys and I guess the baby doesn't have much to look forward

to either.

I would just like to call her up and ask her how she can do this to these

kids. I was the only escape from her they had.

Jean

[Guest guest]

Jean

Yes we live in Georgia. We live outside of Atlanta, south, out in the country

somewhat rural area. There are many transplants from everywhere here ,

allthough I sometimes feel like the whole state of Ohio is here as they dont

seem to change thier tags

I don't know about the cost of living difference at all though. South Carolina

is also a beautiful place to live, lived thier as a child. We have our share of

rednecks as well as culture though. Sounds like you are from a small town?

Don't pick up and fly away just yet, give yourself some time! It is fun to

think about a whole new life sometimes though!

Hugs

Kelley

Re: Re: adult child w/bpd

Kelley

Are you origianlly from the South? I've been thinking and thinking about how

to get far far away from all this. said you're from Georgia, correct?

There are a lot of Northern transplants there, aren't there? I've also heard

that South Carolina and North Carolina are nice places. Cost of living

supposed to be less than up here and people are easier going--not AS much

stress.

After all, I can sell real estate anywhere. I just have to learn the area.

I actually daydream while driving of starting my life over. Forget my

daughter and grandchildren ever existed. I am crying as I write this in

regards to

my grandsons, but I know I will end up sick if I don't put all this behind and

my son at least deserves a mother.

Jean

[Guest guest]

Hmm Northwest? Mableton? Dallas? My best friend just moved to Mableton from

Marietta, I lived in Marietta for 10 years and did the drive to Buckhead back

then. yes traffic sucks here. thats why I like my little rural area....I dont

go out much anymore especially now that its spring time!! We also seem to be

missing all the strom activity today

Hugs

Kelley

Re: Re: adult child w/bpd

I also live in Georgia, northwest of Atlanta.

I like the climate and the people - hate the traffic.

I'm headed to the north carolina coast.

[Guest guest]

Jean

There is certainly a lot to do here! And it is close to everything by driving

or flying! Real Estate is booming around here where we live and north of

Atlanta for sure. Everything is moving out of Atlanta at a rapid pace!

Is beautiful this time of year as well!

Hugs

Kelley

Re: Re: adult child w/bpd

Kelley

I live in a suburb of Providence, the capital and the only city anyone

outside of RI has ever heard of.

One of my son's roommates from college lives in Atlanta. He was originally

from NJ. My son says his friend loves it there.

Jean

[Guest guest]

Kelley

Well my son told me the prosecuting attorney told him that my daughter had

hired one of the most expensive defense attorneys there is in the state. It's

rediculous because for this charge, a public defender could probably do the

same.

My office manager told me he has not seen in the office in months and

she has no listings or sales and he is going to have to let her go if she

doesn't return his calls. He says he has been more than fair with her. I told

him to please do what he has to do; that I will understand. So, I know she is

not earning any money, but blowing what she had on an attorney----all so he

won't spend another (maybe) six months in jail. Why?

Jean

[Guest guest]

Kelley

Has he been diagnosed as bp? I know you said in one of your posts that he

has some other strong personality disorder traits. Does his work and other

aspects of his life seem affected by the disorder like so many of our daughters?

How do you handle it?

Jean

[Guest guest]

Kelley & Others

I have to throw this out there, because I do nothing when i'm driving but

analyze this situation.

Last winter (2004), I was in the car with my daughter, when she started

throwing a tantrum.

Now this was 5 months after having moved into her new house that she had

taken 3 years to get. The house she " soo " wanted that she never even finished

fully unpacking. Never even decorated (and she always decorated for all the

holidays). She just started screaming at me that she was soooo bored with her

life

that she couldn't stand it anymore. Then she started driving like a nut and I

told her to let me and out of the car, which she did. She then said

she was bored with her life and hated it so much that I would be raising the

kids because she was going to drive off and kill herself. So, once

and I were in my driveway I told her to have a nice time and I went in the

house.

She then screeched her tires, peeled out (30yrs old, right) and came back 1/2

hr later alive!! In March of 2004, she took up with dirtbag and all the

chaos began.

My point here is that do borderlines get so bored when things are going well,

or what the rest of us see as just a normal life, that they have to in some

way create chaos and screw everything up? Are they exhilarated from creating

chaos and misery?

My ex husband did something similar. After my son was born, my ex told me he

was leaving me because he was bored. He said he had a wife, 2 kids, 2 cars,

a new house, a great job, etc, but he felt there must be something else out

there. So, he left. I got the kids, house, new car, and the dog, and most of

his income for the next 18 years. He got an apartment. He now just divorced

wife # 4 after having gotten it all back again. Had a gorgeous house in

Potomac MD, 2 other children, the dog, the cars, he was vice pres of a

consulting

company. He now once again lives in a small apartment and this family is a

mess. He's 60 and has never learned.

Is there something in this disease that says, " if I don't create turmoil and

make a mess of my life then I'm BORED " ?

Jean

[Guest guest]

Kelley

I guess I see where her disorder comes from. It never hit me before today

that he too may be borderline. Except he doesn't end up living in the gutter

as she'll be doing.

Jean