Re: I know this may not be the place, but I'm feeling like I have no where else

[Guest guest]

, please don't feel alone in this. I am right there with you.

The only difference is that I currently do not have a weight problem.

This is partly because I have been fanatical since I was 15 about it.

Crap, it has probably been a contributing factor to my Hashi's. My

husband always tells me I am beautiful no matter what, but even this

morning he said I looked awful - THANKS! Yet, I know it's true. I am

pale, sunken, full of zits, my hair is dry, falling out, unmanageable.

I can't find anything that makes me feel more than subhuman (as far as

clothing and make-up). This all sucks, but I try everyday to think of

what I do have. It's the only thing that keeps me going. I have two

beautiful children that I am lucky to have. It took 3 years to get

pregnant at 28 with my first baby (probably due to the Hashi's). My

husband is my rock. He doesn't really understand what is happening to

me, but he has taken over a lot to allow me some time to get well. I

am determined to do this. Small steps! You have to go very slowly.

Don't make huge goals. Get rid of the people that are emotional

vampires. I know EXACTLY what you are talking about. We decided to

move from Houston a year ago for that reason alone. I even got rid of

my Best friend. Sounds awful, but she was chronically complaining

about money, even though she didn't want to do a thing about it. She

is 30 and still living off Daddy. She rents his apartment. It was free

to her and her boyfriend for years with the agreement that she finish

college - she never did. Neither did he. Then when her Dad put his

foot down and demanded a whole $350/month in rent, she came griping to

me. They smoked 2 packs of cigarettes/day EACH. He had a serious pot

smoking problem. Whiners! All they did was whine while my husband and

I busted balls to buy our first house on little income. My husband

worked 80+ hours/week and I 50. I just got so tired of that and

several other friends whining to me that I said, " THAT'S IT! We are

moving away and starting all over " . That was a long drawn out story (I

have a tendancy to do that), but start there. You have to say NO and

not be afraid of people disliking you. They are going to dislike you

no matter how much of a saint you are. Okay, I am going to digress

from that for a minute. With the exercising, can you put a pad on and

get some low impact tapes for inside the house work-outs? I need to do

this too. Maybe we can do it together. I have a pilates/yoga dvd that

will provide some good exercise without running around like nut

jumping over steps to really cheezy 80's music lol. I have had little

motivation, but can you blame us? This fatigue crap is for the birds.

Make small goals! Keep me posted. I am there with you girl!!!!

>

> Okay, my turn to . . .

>

> I'm teetering on the edge here. I am contemplating removing all the

mirrors

> I'm fat and I now have a bad hair cut. These two things are not a

good

> combination. I feel like a slug in the garden of Earth. I am so

> unfulfilled at this point in my life. I'm feeling very down,

useless, old,

> the list just goes on and on. I need a reason to leave the house.

I need a

> reason to live. I need a point to my life. I need to give something of

> myself to something or someone. I need to create something I'm

proud of. I

> need to lose 70 pounds. I need to feel motivated to exercise. I

need to

> quit saying I need to, and do something about it, but what?

>

> I've set my sites on trying to get this thyroid hormone I'm taking

changed,

> and I'm trying to believe that changing this drug will give me some of

> myself back, but what if it doesn't?

>

> My house needs to be painted. My house needs to be cleaned. My

children

> need to be better disciplined. Everything is negative. There are no

> positives coming in. Everything is a withdrawal, nothing is a

deposit in my

> emotional bank. Money is so tight I'm making minimum payments on credit

> cards. I hate that, and I can't even discuss it with my husband,

because he

> ll just go over the deep end being depressed. I think part of the

problem

> is I suffer from seasonal affective disorder. I'm sick of winter.

I would

> feel better if the sun would come out and something would bloom. I

need to

> find positive, motivated people to be around. Everyone I'm around is

> unmotivated, and wallowing in their own problems (like I am right

now). I

> need to find doer's not bitchers. Help, I'm drowning.

>

> Yesterday morning I got up at 6 something. I decided I was going to

get my

> lazy butt out of bed and go for a walk. I got up, got dressed,

decided I

> would take Justice (the dog), opened the garage door to let him

potty and go

> for the walk . . . it was raining. Not hard enough for me to know

it was

> raining, but too hard to go walking around in it. I'd like to

exercise, but

> my bladder leaks more when I exercise, so I don't want to exercise. My

> bladder would leak less if I weren't so heavy, but it is hard to not

be so

> heavy when you don't want to exercise because your bladder leaks.

jeez. I

> just sit here becoming weaker and weaker, atrophying before my very

eyes.

>

>

> There are so many things I need to be doing, but I'm not doing any

of them.

> I'm just sick of it all. I then feel so selfish for having these

thoughts

> and feelings. I feel so alone because I have no one to discuss these

> feelings with. I am the one whom everyone comes to with their

troubles and

> problems. I am the fixer in my family, but there is no one to fix

me, help

> me find my passion, lift me up.

>

> Okay, thanks for listening. Please don't yell at me for posting

this. I

> just felt like I had no one to turn to. Thx

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

, please don't feel alone in this. I am right there with you.

The only difference is that I currently do not have a weight problem.

This is partly because I have been fanatical since I was 15 about it.

Crap, it has probably been a contributing factor to my Hashi's. My

husband always tells me I am beautiful no matter what, but even this

morning he said I looked awful - THANKS! Yet, I know it's true. I am

pale, sunken, full of zits, my hair is dry, falling out, unmanageable.

I can't find anything that makes me feel more than subhuman (as far as

clothing and make-up). This all sucks, but I try everyday to think of

what I do have. It's the only thing that keeps me going. I have two

beautiful children that I am lucky to have. It took 3 years to get

pregnant at 28 with my first baby (probably due to the Hashi's). My

husband is my rock. He doesn't really understand what is happening to

me, but he has taken over a lot to allow me some time to get well. I

am determined to do this. Small steps! You have to go very slowly.

Don't make huge goals. Get rid of the people that are emotional

vampires. I know EXACTLY what you are talking about. We decided to

move from Houston a year ago for that reason alone. I even got rid of

my Best friend. Sounds awful, but she was chronically complaining

about money, even though she didn't want to do a thing about it. She

is 30 and still living off Daddy. She rents his apartment. It was free

to her and her boyfriend for years with the agreement that she finish

college - she never did. Neither did he. Then when her Dad put his

foot down and demanded a whole $350/month in rent, she came griping to

me. They smoked 2 packs of cigarettes/day EACH. He had a serious pot

smoking problem. Whiners! All they did was whine while my husband and

I busted balls to buy our first house on little income. My husband

worked 80+ hours/week and I 50. I just got so tired of that and

several other friends whining to me that I said, " THAT'S IT! We are

moving away and starting all over " . That was a long drawn out story (I

have a tendancy to do that), but start there. You have to say NO and

not be afraid of people disliking you. They are going to dislike you

no matter how much of a saint you are. Okay, I am going to digress

from that for a minute. With the exercising, can you put a pad on and

get some low impact tapes for inside the house work-outs? I need to do

this too. Maybe we can do it together. I have a pilates/yoga dvd that

will provide some good exercise without running around like nut

jumping over steps to really cheezy 80's music lol. I have had little

motivation, but can you blame us? This fatigue crap is for the birds.

Make small goals! Keep me posted. I am there with you girl!!!!

>

> Okay, my turn to . . .

>

> I'm teetering on the edge here. I am contemplating removing all the

mirrors

> I'm fat and I now have a bad hair cut. These two things are not a

good

> combination. I feel like a slug in the garden of Earth. I am so

> unfulfilled at this point in my life. I'm feeling very down,

useless, old,

> the list just goes on and on. I need a reason to leave the house.

I need a

> reason to live. I need a point to my life. I need to give something of

> myself to something or someone. I need to create something I'm

proud of. I

> need to lose 70 pounds. I need to feel motivated to exercise. I

need to

> quit saying I need to, and do something about it, but what?

>

> I've set my sites on trying to get this thyroid hormone I'm taking

changed,

> and I'm trying to believe that changing this drug will give me some of

> myself back, but what if it doesn't?

>

> My house needs to be painted. My house needs to be cleaned. My

children

> need to be better disciplined. Everything is negative. There are no

> positives coming in. Everything is a withdrawal, nothing is a

deposit in my

> emotional bank. Money is so tight I'm making minimum payments on credit

> cards. I hate that, and I can't even discuss it with my husband,

because he

> ll just go over the deep end being depressed. I think part of the

problem

> is I suffer from seasonal affective disorder. I'm sick of winter.

I would

> feel better if the sun would come out and something would bloom. I

need to

> find positive, motivated people to be around. Everyone I'm around is

> unmotivated, and wallowing in their own problems (like I am right

now). I

> need to find doer's not bitchers. Help, I'm drowning.

>

> Yesterday morning I got up at 6 something. I decided I was going to

get my

> lazy butt out of bed and go for a walk. I got up, got dressed,

decided I

> would take Justice (the dog), opened the garage door to let him

potty and go

> for the walk . . . it was raining. Not hard enough for me to know

it was

> raining, but too hard to go walking around in it. I'd like to

exercise, but

> my bladder leaks more when I exercise, so I don't want to exercise. My

> bladder would leak less if I weren't so heavy, but it is hard to not

be so

> heavy when you don't want to exercise because your bladder leaks.

jeez. I

> just sit here becoming weaker and weaker, atrophying before my very

eyes.

>

>

> There are so many things I need to be doing, but I'm not doing any

of them.

> I'm just sick of it all. I then feel so selfish for having these

thoughts

> and feelings. I feel so alone because I have no one to discuss these

> feelings with. I am the one whom everyone comes to with their

troubles and

> problems. I am the fixer in my family, but there is no one to fix

me, help

> me find my passion, lift me up.

>

> Okay, thanks for listening. Please don't yell at me for posting

this. I

> just felt like I had no one to turn to. Thx

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I just wanted to add that I am not the most eloquent with my words as

these aother ladies. They say things much nicer and kinder. Please, I

hope that anything I said helped. I just wanted you to know that I do

understand and feel for you too. I reread my first few sentences and

they didn't come out well. In fact the whole post sucked. I am just

saying that I know how you feel about your self image. I just went

down a path that no one should have to go to prevent weight gain.

Please don't feel ugly and worthless. You are no such thing. I am

amazed at how many people have this. In fact, I had my realtor's wife

(she's also a realtor) doing my " OPEN HOUSE " yesterday. I was staring

at her thinking her eyes looked like those of Grave's disease. Somehow

we got on the topic of memory and I said that I needed to start

writing the dates on my children's pics because I couldn't remember

anything anymore because of hypothyroidism. She stopped in her tracks

and stared for a minute. She said, " that's what I have " . She said she

had Grave's and then the radiation treatment destroyed part of her

thyroid and she then became hypo. She said it has been difficult and a

struggle getting the proper dosage of her meds. She was staring at me

the whole time in amazement that I too could be suffering from what

she has. It was a comforting moment for both of us. , I hope

you the best and I will be thinking about you and you getting the

RIGHT meds to make you come alive again .

XO

> ((((((((((((((()))))))))))))

> Dear friend,We appreciate you sharing with us. Hoping that the change in

> thyroid meds will help you. Natural Thyroid meds DO work wonders!You

will

> get the best of " you " back. I know these things as, like you I have

suffered

> the same......was very depressed, suicidally wise, along with

> that.AND........taking Natural thyroid hormones Have definitely

helped me

> to rediscover myself!I still have a ways to go.......I am still

underdosed I

> feel, but I am on the road! Topper(ThyroGeek) can also tell you what a

> difference Natural thyroid has made in her life, and others here

can. THERE

> IS HOPE!!!

> And please keep sharing.....

> Love and Hugs

> ThyroFeisty(Feisty)

> I know this may not be the place,

but I'm

> feeling like I have no where else to turn

>

>

> >

> > Okay, my turn to . . .

> >

> > I'm teetering on the edge here. I am contemplating removing all the

> mirrors

> > I'm fat and I now have a bad hair cut. These two things are not

a good

> > combination. I feel like a slug in the garden of Earth. I am so

> > unfulfilled at this point in my life. I'm feeling very down, useless,

> old,

> > the list just goes on and on. I need a reason to leave the house.

I need

> a

> > reason to live. I need a point to my life. I need to give

something of

> > myself to something or someone. I need to create something I'm

proud of.

> I

> > need to lose 70 pounds. I need to feel motivated to exercise. I

need to

> > quit saying I need to, and do something about it, but what?

> >

> > I've set my sites on trying to get this thyroid hormone I'm taking

> changed,

> > and I'm trying to believe that changing this drug will give me some of

> > myself back, but what if it doesn't?

> >

> > My house needs to be painted. My house needs to be cleaned. My

children

> > need to be better disciplined. Everything is negative. There are no

> > positives coming in. Everything is a withdrawal, nothing is a

deposit in

> my

> > emotional bank. Money is so tight I'm making minimum payments on

credit

> > cards. I hate that, and I can't even discuss it with my husband,

because

> he

> > ll just go over the deep end being depressed. I think part of the

problem

> > is I suffer from seasonal affective disorder. I'm sick of winter. I

> would

> > feel better if the sun would come out and something would bloom.

I need

> to

> > find positive, motivated people to be around. Everyone I'm around is

> > unmotivated, and wallowing in their own problems (like I am right

now). I

> > need to find doer's not bitchers. Help, I'm drowning.

> >

> > Yesterday morning I got up at 6 something. I decided I was going

to get

> my

> > lazy butt out of bed and go for a walk. I got up, got dressed,

decided I

> > would take Justice (the dog), opened the garage door to let him

potty and

> go

> > for the walk . . . it was raining. Not hard enough for me to know

it was

> > raining, but too hard to go walking around in it. I'd like to

exercise,

> but

> > my bladder leaks more when I exercise, so I don't want to

exercise. My

> > bladder would leak less if I weren't so heavy, but it is hard to

not be so

> > heavy when you don't want to exercise because your bladder leaks.

jeez.

> I

> > just sit here becoming weaker and weaker, atrophying before my

very eyes.

> >

> >

> > There are so many things I need to be doing, but I'm not doing any of

> them.

> > I'm just sick of it all. I then feel so selfish for having these

thoughts

> > and feelings. I feel so alone because I have no one to discuss these

> > feelings with. I am the one whom everyone comes to with their

troubles

> and

> > problems. I am the fixer in my family, but there is no one to fix me,

> help

> > me find my passion, lift me up.

> >

> > Okay, thanks for listening. Please don't yell at me for posting

this. I

> > just felt like I had no one to turn to. Thx

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

,

It's funny, it took me four years to get pregnant with my first child, and I

had no idea that problems with your thyroid could be a contributing factor.

I also remember crying when I found out I was pregnant, but not with joy, I

was terrified that I would gain weight and be fat for the rest of my life.

Guess what happened. Those fears were confirmed. During my pregnancy is

when my thyroid went haywire. I gained 70 pounds, and have pretty much hung

on to it for the last 15 years. Prior to that, I was overly zealous about

watching my weight. I remember at one point in high school (17 years old) I

was working out twice a day, 5' 8 " 117 pounds, too thin and thought I was

fat. When I was 12 I remember asking my mom for a girdle to make my stomach

flat (she gave me one).

My husband is also a very wonderful, hardworking man. He drives a truck

coast-to-coast and border-to-border. We own a small trucking business. My

husband is a wonderful provider but of late truck repairs and the price of

fuel has turned our livelihood into something not quite so lively. He is

always telling me how beautiful I am, but I don't feel beautiful so his

words hold little meaning for me.

My sons are the two things that keep me going and at times make me want to

throw in the towel. Children can make you soar and then show you the lowest

valley all in one day. Especially my youngest, he is exasperating and

wonderful all rolled into one.

My step-children are the ones who can suck me emotional dry of late, and

they are grown and married, but the oldest is separated from her husband and

struggling with those hurtles, and the middle daughter just had her first

child in December and I have visited her (Florida) and speak with her at

least weekly, and the youngest son married a shrew and we have struggled

with our relationship for several years now.

Anyway, I think my hormones on just on haywire today. I am feeling much

better this evening.

Thank you for your caring reply.

-- Re: I know this may not be the place, but

I'm feeling like I have no where else

, please don't feel alone in this. I am right there with you.

The only difference is that I currently do not have a weight problem.

This is partly because I have been fanatical since I was 15 about it.

Crap, it has probably been a contributing factor to my Hashi's.