Last Night---VENT

[Guest guest]

Last night Mark was going to give his bath because I was doing homework

with . , as usual didn't go into the bathroom when Mark wanted him

to. I told him he would need to go over to him and tell him he needed an

escort, (then would have walked with him to the bathroom). Since he

didn't come to Mark, Mark starts raising his voice. As he raises his voice,

starts to avoid him more. Finally he's under the table hiding from him,

pretending he's afraid, (basically he's trying to play me to get me to do it

instead of his dad). I told him the only reason his dad is raising his voice is

because he's not listening to him and to go to the bathroom. Finally he goes.

Then he's not getting undressed fast enough. Finally I hear him crying, Mark's

voice is still raised. Far too many words are being used trying to get his

dad's point across to him. Then I go stand outside the door and watch. I mean,

what the hell, I'm certainly not concentrating on 's work at this point!

Mark's just dumping water on him, probably washing a bit rougher than necessary.

't still crying and be told to quit crying (yeah, that's going to work).

Finally, I told Mark to just get out of there. I took over the bath, still

explaining to that none of this would have happened if he had just

listened to his dad in the first place. Then I hear Mark in the hall saying I

should have just stayed out of there.....

I finished the baths up and wrote down that since he goes through this

frequently and has been told before how to handle it (he also knows that raising

his voice only escalates the problems,(even covered at the seminar today!)), and

if he couldn't figure out a way to work with his son that I'll just do

everything! I tossed it on the bed where he was fuming. I heard him throw the

notebook when he was done reading it, then he went downstairs for the rest of

the night! This morning we barely spoke except for his usual goodbyes to

everyone.

I'm getting so tired of his reacting to the kids with anger when he should know

by now that it isn't going to change them and he's the one who needs to change.

I imagine that his need for control is part of his aspergers, but I don't really

care at this point. He says he loves the boys and wouldn't change a thing, yet

then he acts like an ass with them now and then. Arrrrrggggggghhhhhhh!

Sue