Guest guest Posted January 24, 2006 Report Share Posted January 24, 2006 ________________________________ From: Neilly, Shalena Sent: Friday, January 13, 2006 11:36 AM To: , Jamilya Subject: Something to share with the boss... My kind of Dr. I DON'T KNOW WHAT DOCTOR WROTE THIS, BUT I LIKE HIM! HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap. Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables? A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products. Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up! Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc. Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good! Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you? A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you? Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle? A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach. Q: Is chocolate bad for me? A: Are you crazy? HELLO ...... Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around! Q: Is swimming good for your figure? A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me. Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle? A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape! Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets. And remember: " Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming " WOO HOO, What a Ride! " ________________________________ The enclosed information is STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL and is intended for the use of the addressee only. The University Hospitals Health System and its affiliates disclaim and responsibility for unauthorized disclosure of this information other then the addressee. Federal and Ohio law protect patient medical information disclosed in this email, including psychiatric disorders, (HIV) test results, AIDs-related conditions, alcohol, and/or drug dependence or abuse. Federal regulation (42 CFR Part 2) and Ohio Revised Code section 5122.31 and 3701.243 prohibit disclosure of this information without the specific written consent of the person to whom it pertains, or as otherwise permitted by law. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -- Confidentiality Note: This message is intended for use only by the individual or entity to which it is addressed and may contain information that is privileged, confidential, and exempt from disclosure under applicable law. If the reader of this message is not the intended recipient or the employee or agent responsible for delivering the message to the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any dissemination, distribution or copying of this communication is strictly prohibited. If you have received this communication in error, please contact the sender immediately and destroy the material in its entirety, whether electronic or hard copy. Thank you. ------------ Visit us online at our award-winning http://www.clevelandclinic.org <http://www.clevelandclinic.org/> for a complete listing of Cleveland Clinic services, staff and locations from one of the country's leading hospitals. ============================================================================ == The enclosed information is STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL and is intended for the use of the addressee only. University Hospitals Health System and its affiliates disclaim any responsibility for unauthorized disclosure of this information to anyone other than the addressee. Federal and Ohio law protect patient medical information, including psychiatric_disorders, (H.I.V) test results, A.I.Ds-related conditions, alcohol, and/or drug_dependence or abuse disclosed in this email. Federal regulation (42 CFR Part 2) and Ohio Revised Code section 5122.31 and 3701.243 prohibit disclosure of this information without the specific written consent of the person to whom it pertains, or as otherwise permitted by law. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 25, 2006 Report Share Posted January 25, 2006 Dear Pat, Thanks for the humor. It helps so much. The humanity on this list with accompanying facts, is what makes it more helpful than a reference book. Always with love, Lissi Something to share with the boss... My kind of Dr. I DON'T KNOW WHAT DOCTOR WROTE THIS, BUT I LIKE HIM! HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap. Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables? A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products. Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up! Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc. Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good! Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you? A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you? Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle? A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach. Q: Is chocolate bad for me? A: Are you crazy? HELLO ...... Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around! Q: Is swimming good for your figure? A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me. Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle? A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape! Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets. And remember: " Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming " WOO HOO, What a Ride! " ________________________________ The enclosed information is STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL and is intended for the use of the addressee only. The University Hospitals Health System and its affiliates disclaim and responsibility for unauthorized disclosure of this information other then the addressee. Federal and Ohio law protect patient medical information disclosed in this email, including psychiatric disorders, (HIV) test results, AIDs-related conditions, alcohol, and/or drug dependence or abuse. Federal regulation (42 CFR Part 2) and Ohio Revised Code section 5122.31 and 3701.243 prohibit disclosure of this information without the specific written consent of the person to whom it pertains, or as otherwise permitted by law. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -- Confidentiality Note: This message is intended for use only by the individual or entity to which it is addressed and may contain information that is privileged, confidential, and exempt from disclosure under applicable law. If the reader of this message is not the intended recipient or the employee or agent responsible for delivering the message to the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any dissemination, distribution or copying of this communication is strictly prohibited. If you have received this communication in error, please contact the sender immediately and destroy the material in its entirety, whether electronic or hard copy. Thank you. ------------ Visit us online at our award-winning http://www.clevelandclinic.org <http://www.clevelandclinic.org/> for a complete listing of Cleveland Clinic services, staff and locations from one of the country's leading hospitals. ============================================================================ == The enclosed information is STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL and is intended for the use of the addressee only. University Hospitals Health System and its affiliates disclaim any responsibility for unauthorized disclosure of this information to anyone other than the addressee. Federal and Ohio law protect patient medical information, including psychiatric_disorders, (H.I.V) test results, A.I.Ds-related conditions, alcohol, and/or drug_dependence or abuse disclosed in this email. Federal regulation (42 CFR Part 2) and Ohio Revised Code section 5122.31 and 3701.243 prohibit disclosure of this information without the specific written consent of the person to whom it pertains, or as otherwise permitted by law. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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