Re: Social Situations

[Guest guest]

Oh this is a good one. I struggle with this stuff, too.

I either eat nothing there, and then binge later, or I eat nothing all

day, workout, then go and overeat.

I think you just have to " not think about it " . Don't think, " I'm going

to eat too much. Can't have this/that, etc " .

Maybe try not to think about the food part and think about something

else? Think about the driving route or some topics of conversation.

Try some positive thoughts. Just don't focus on eating.

Is there something about these particular parties that is bugging you?

>

> Hi there, here is a challenge for all of you. How do you use IE in

> Social situations, holidays, parties, etc....w/o it leading to a

> binge. Lately, I either have to have no cookies or 12 cookies. This

> is not a problem w/alcohol, just the forbidden foods I don't usually

> have...and when I do have them, all hell brakes loose. I have 2

> parties tomorrow night, surprise 40th, 1 at a restaurant and the

other

> at a bar. I'm scared and don't want to blow it.

>

[Guest guest]

Oh this is a good one. I struggle with this stuff, too.

I either eat nothing there, and then binge later, or I eat nothing all

day, workout, then go and overeat.

I think you just have to " not think about it " . Don't think, " I'm going

to eat too much. Can't have this/that, etc " .

Maybe try not to think about the food part and think about something

else? Think about the driving route or some topics of conversation.

Try some positive thoughts. Just don't focus on eating.

Is there something about these particular parties that is bugging you?

>

> Hi there, here is a challenge for all of you. How do you use IE in

> Social situations, holidays, parties, etc....w/o it leading to a

> binge. Lately, I either have to have no cookies or 12 cookies. This

> is not a problem w/alcohol, just the forbidden foods I don't usually

> have...and when I do have them, all hell brakes loose. I have 2

> parties tomorrow night, surprise 40th, 1 at a restaurant and the

other

> at a bar. I'm scared and don't want to blow it.

>

[Guest guest]

Oh this is a good one. I struggle with this stuff, too.

I either eat nothing there, and then binge later, or I eat nothing all

day, workout, then go and overeat.

I think you just have to " not think about it " . Don't think, " I'm going

to eat too much. Can't have this/that, etc " .

Maybe try not to think about the food part and think about something

else? Think about the driving route or some topics of conversation.

Try some positive thoughts. Just don't focus on eating.

Is there something about these particular parties that is bugging you?

>

> Hi there, here is a challenge for all of you. How do you use IE in

> Social situations, holidays, parties, etc....w/o it leading to a

> binge. Lately, I either have to have no cookies or 12 cookies. This

> is not a problem w/alcohol, just the forbidden foods I don't usually

> have...and when I do have them, all hell brakes loose. I have 2

> parties tomorrow night, surprise 40th, 1 at a restaurant and the

other

> at a bar. I'm scared and don't want to blow it.

>

[Guest guest]

There was a Topic thread here a while back about going out to eat. Do

a search (eating out?) and hopefully you will get even more Ideas

The major holiday season is coming up so this is an excellent thing to

discuss and see if we can practice for that now.

A couple of things come to my mind -

1) Don't go HUNGRY ( like 2 or 3 on IE hunger scale) to any event

where lots of food is available. Its like grocery shopping when one is

hungry - you want to buy the entire store - LOL. If you eat a little

something say an hour before you arrive, you won't feel so hungry that

you want to fill your plate up.

2) Tell yourself before the event how you WANT to eat when there.

Maybe you will select only one thing at a time to savor before having

another item? If you give yourself time for what you eat to

'register', you may find that you don't want to eat all that much either.

3) If you are a Clean Plate Club member, don't load your plate UP.

Going 'back' is much more complimentary than carrying around a 1/2

eaten plate and wondering how you can get rid of it without offending

a host/ess.

Best wishes for FUN parties - ehugs, Katcha

>

> Hi there, here is a challenge for all of you. How do you use IE in

> Social situations, holidays, parties, etc....w/o it leading to a

> binge. Lately, I either have to have no cookies or 12 cookies. This

> is not a problem w/alcohol, just the forbidden foods I don't usually

> have...and when I do have them, all hell brakes loose. I have 2

> parties tomorrow night, surprise 40th, 1 at a restaurant and the other

> at a bar. I'm scared and don't want to blow it.

>

[Guest guest]

Mikki you are right and thank you for posting your thoughts I don't have a social situation at the moment to go to but will remind myself of that when i do thank you. EvaSee what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

[Guest guest]

You've gotten some good answers already but I thought I'd add - try to remember that the point of parties is to have fun with your friends! If you keep your focus on friends instead of food you will be fine (you can't talk with your mouth full, for one thing . And remember with IE there ARE no forbidden foods, so don't be scared to enjoy the special nibblies that you might not get very often - allow yourself to enjoy them but use the IE principle of taking just a little bit and enjoying it to the maximum!! I agree with Katcha, don't go starving or you will eat too fast to enjoy your food - eat normally (IE during the day), take small portions of just the things that you really want without feeling obligated to have "a little of everything" ...

We are hosting an Oktoberfest party tonight and tomorrow is a kid's birthday party ... but I think I will be fine if I just remind myself that these are NOT "special foods I won't get again for a while", but that any time I want it I can even make a cake (or whatever), so I do NOT have to have it "right now" unless I want it! It's a new way of thinking that takes work, but I sure like it better than the old "I shouldn't have it, but I want it, OK just a little because I won't have any more for 6 months, oh I ate too much I'm fat and I hate myself" crap!~!

good luck and HAVE FUN!

Mikki

-----Original Message-----From: IntuitiveEating_Support [mailto:IntuitiveEating_Support ]On Behalf Of snowball101375Sent: Friday, September 21, 2007 3:06 PMTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Subject: Social Situations

Hi there, here is a challenge for all of you. How do you use IE in Social situations, holidays, parties, etc....w/o it leading to a binge. Lately, I either have to have no cookies or 12 cookies. This is not a problem w/alcohol, just the forbidden foods I don't usually have...and when I do have them, all hell brakes loose. I have 2 parties tomorrow night, surprise 40th, 1 at a restaurant and the other at a bar. I'm scared and don't want to blow it.

[Guest guest]

You've gotten some good answers already but I thought I'd add - try to remember that the point of parties is to have fun with your friends! If you keep your focus on friends instead of food you will be fine (you can't talk with your mouth full, for one thing . And remember with IE there ARE no forbidden foods, so don't be scared to enjoy the special nibblies that you might not get very often - allow yourself to enjoy them but use the IE principle of taking just a little bit and enjoying it to the maximum!! I agree with Katcha, don't go starving or you will eat too fast to enjoy your food - eat normally (IE during the day), take small portions of just the things that you really want without feeling obligated to have "a little of everything" ...

We are hosting an Oktoberfest party tonight and tomorrow is a kid's birthday party ... but I think I will be fine if I just remind myself that these are NOT "special foods I won't get again for a while", but that any time I want it I can even make a cake (or whatever), so I do NOT have to have it "right now" unless I want it! It's a new way of thinking that takes work, but I sure like it better than the old "I shouldn't have it, but I want it, OK just a little because I won't have any more for 6 months, oh I ate too much I'm fat and I hate myself" crap!~!

good luck and HAVE FUN!

Mikki

-----Original Message-----From: IntuitiveEating_Support [mailto:IntuitiveEating_Support ]On Behalf Of snowball101375Sent: Friday, September 21, 2007 3:06 PMTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Subject: Social Situations

Hi there, here is a challenge for all of you. How do you use IE in Social situations, holidays, parties, etc....w/o it leading to a binge. Lately, I either have to have no cookies or 12 cookies. This is not a problem w/alcohol, just the forbidden foods I don't usually have...and when I do have them, all hell brakes loose. I have 2 parties tomorrow night, surprise 40th, 1 at a restaurant and the other at a bar. I'm scared and don't want to blow it.

[Guest guest]

This is a really important question to ask yourself. My family just

threw a b-day party for my mom where I proceeded to eat more than I

wanted, things I know I don't even like and the momentum of the

evening was turning into a binge. But since I have been working

towards solving the reasons for my eating, I realized during the night

it was time to observe myself and my environment. Why is it that I

felt it was necessary to eat as much as I did and why things that I

don't even like? For me in this case, I realized I was uncomfortable

at the party. I did not feel confident or outgoing. The reason had

nothing to do with how I looked. It was more about my role in the

situation. I was surrounded by my mom's friends - who for the most

part I should have known and been able to easily converse with,

however most of them haven't seen me since I was between the ages of

10-16. I had no idea how to interact with them - so I ended up doing

the thing I knew how to do, which was eat... While I don't have a

solution for this yet, I've realized that when it comes to parties -

usually if we are having a great time and are comfortable with

ourselves and who we are with - it's a lot easier to honor your

hunger. But if you aren't, food because a distraction, or even

avoidance mechanism.

If I were you, I would consider evaluating the party before it starts

and see how you can enjoy it. Are there going to be people there that

you know make you uncomfortable (which may lead to overeating)? Or are

there people there that you really enjoy being with? Either way - I

would focus on how you can have fun at the party without food. If you

focus on the food - you are setting yourself up to end up worrying

about it the whole night long. If you focus on the fun, you may find

that the food doesn't even matter to you and that you may not have a

bite to eat there until you actually hear your stomach growl.

Another thought I just had... (sorry long post). It might be fun to

challenge yourself at the party. Make a game out of it. If there are

going to be new people there you don't know, try to meet each of them

and come out with an interesting fact about them. Or maybe have one

really good question that you want to find out about 10 people in the

room. Not the standard: " What do you do? " But something like: " What's

the craziest thing you have ever done? " --- but be prepared to answer

the question yourself.

Ok. Just a few thoughts.

> Is there something about these particular parties that is bugging you?

[Guest guest]

This is a really important question to ask yourself. My family just

threw a b-day party for my mom where I proceeded to eat more than I

wanted, things I know I don't even like and the momentum of the

evening was turning into a binge. But since I have been working

towards solving the reasons for my eating, I realized during the night

it was time to observe myself and my environment. Why is it that I

felt it was necessary to eat as much as I did and why things that I

don't even like? For me in this case, I realized I was uncomfortable

at the party. I did not feel confident or outgoing. The reason had

nothing to do with how I looked. It was more about my role in the

situation. I was surrounded by my mom's friends - who for the most

part I should have known and been able to easily converse with,

however most of them haven't seen me since I was between the ages of

10-16. I had no idea how to interact with them - so I ended up doing

the thing I knew how to do, which was eat... While I don't have a

solution for this yet, I've realized that when it comes to parties -

usually if we are having a great time and are comfortable with

ourselves and who we are with - it's a lot easier to honor your

hunger. But if you aren't, food because a distraction, or even

avoidance mechanism.

If I were you, I would consider evaluating the party before it starts

and see how you can enjoy it. Are there going to be people there that

you know make you uncomfortable (which may lead to overeating)? Or are

there people there that you really enjoy being with? Either way - I

would focus on how you can have fun at the party without food. If you

focus on the food - you are setting yourself up to end up worrying

about it the whole night long. If you focus on the fun, you may find

that the food doesn't even matter to you and that you may not have a

bite to eat there until you actually hear your stomach growl.

Another thought I just had... (sorry long post). It might be fun to

challenge yourself at the party. Make a game out of it. If there are

going to be new people there you don't know, try to meet each of them

and come out with an interesting fact about them. Or maybe have one

really good question that you want to find out about 10 people in the

room. Not the standard: " What do you do? " But something like: " What's

the craziest thing you have ever done? " --- but be prepared to answer

the question yourself.

Ok. Just a few thoughts.

> Is there something about these particular parties that is bugging you?

[Guest guest]

This is a really important question to ask yourself. My family just

threw a b-day party for my mom where I proceeded to eat more than I

wanted, things I know I don't even like and the momentum of the

evening was turning into a binge. But since I have been working

towards solving the reasons for my eating, I realized during the night

it was time to observe myself and my environment. Why is it that I

felt it was necessary to eat as much as I did and why things that I

don't even like? For me in this case, I realized I was uncomfortable

at the party. I did not feel confident or outgoing. The reason had

nothing to do with how I looked. It was more about my role in the

situation. I was surrounded by my mom's friends - who for the most

part I should have known and been able to easily converse with,

however most of them haven't seen me since I was between the ages of

10-16. I had no idea how to interact with them - so I ended up doing

the thing I knew how to do, which was eat... While I don't have a

solution for this yet, I've realized that when it comes to parties -

usually if we are having a great time and are comfortable with

ourselves and who we are with - it's a lot easier to honor your

hunger. But if you aren't, food because a distraction, or even

avoidance mechanism.

If I were you, I would consider evaluating the party before it starts

and see how you can enjoy it. Are there going to be people there that

you know make you uncomfortable (which may lead to overeating)? Or are

there people there that you really enjoy being with? Either way - I

would focus on how you can have fun at the party without food. If you

focus on the food - you are setting yourself up to end up worrying

about it the whole night long. If you focus on the fun, you may find

that the food doesn't even matter to you and that you may not have a

bite to eat there until you actually hear your stomach growl.

Another thought I just had... (sorry long post). It might be fun to

challenge yourself at the party. Make a game out of it. If there are

going to be new people there you don't know, try to meet each of them

and come out with an interesting fact about them. Or maybe have one

really good question that you want to find out about 10 people in the

room. Not the standard: " What do you do? " But something like: " What's

the craziest thing you have ever done? " --- but be prepared to answer

the question yourself.

Ok. Just a few thoughts.

> Is there something about these particular parties that is bugging you?

[Guest guest]

eat as many as you want...really...when i can have them all i no longer

need to eat them all

>

> Hi there, here is a challenge for all of you. How do you use IE in

> Social situations, holidays, parties, etc....w/o it leading to a

> binge. Lately, I either have to have no cookies or 12 cookies. This

> is not a problem w/alcohol, just the forbidden foods I don't usually

> have...and when I do have them, all hell brakes loose. I have 2

> parties tomorrow night, surprise 40th, 1 at a restaurant and the

other

> at a bar. I'm scared and don't want to blow it.

>

[Guest guest]

eat as many as you want...really...when i can have them all i no longer

need to eat them all

>

> Hi there, here is a challenge for all of you. How do you use IE in

> Social situations, holidays, parties, etc....w/o it leading to a

> binge. Lately, I either have to have no cookies or 12 cookies. This

> is not a problem w/alcohol, just the forbidden foods I don't usually

> have...and when I do have them, all hell brakes loose. I have 2

> parties tomorrow night, surprise 40th, 1 at a restaurant and the

other

> at a bar. I'm scared and don't want to blow it.

>

[Guest guest]

eat as many as you want...really...when i can have them all i no longer

need to eat them all

>

> Hi there, here is a challenge for all of you. How do you use IE in

> Social situations, holidays, parties, etc....w/o it leading to a

> binge. Lately, I either have to have no cookies or 12 cookies. This

> is not a problem w/alcohol, just the forbidden foods I don't usually

> have...and when I do have them, all hell brakes loose. I have 2

> parties tomorrow night, surprise 40th, 1 at a restaurant and the

other

> at a bar. I'm scared and don't want to blow it.

>

[Guest guest]

snowball101375 wrote:

> How do you use IE in

> Social situations, holidays, parties, etc....w/o it leading to a

> binge.

I don't think about " IE " at all. I say to myself that I can eat as much

as I want and I never binged until being uncomfortable so far. I don't

bother if I'm hungry or not hungry or too hungry in these situations.

Regards

s.

[Guest guest]

Thanks to all for your helpful tips and hints. I did ok, considering I

could've caused way more damage. I had one serving of food, I didn't

show up hungry but had to have dessert although I was pretty much

satisfied by that point. Yummy chocolate cake! Anyway, I am proud

that I didn't binge on anything and remained in somewhat control. Next

party will be even better. Next weekend a bunch of my friends are

going away, next challenge on my plate.

[Guest guest]

Thanks to all for your helpful tips and hints. I did ok, considering I

could've caused way more damage. I had one serving of food, I didn't

show up hungry but had to have dessert although I was pretty much

satisfied by that point. Yummy chocolate cake! Anyway, I am proud

that I didn't binge on anything and remained in somewhat control. Next

party will be even better. Next weekend a bunch of my friends are

going away, next challenge on my plate.

[Guest guest]

Thanks to all for your helpful tips and hints. I did ok, considering I

could've caused way more damage. I had one serving of food, I didn't

show up hungry but had to have dessert although I was pretty much

satisfied by that point. Yummy chocolate cake! Anyway, I am proud

that I didn't binge on anything and remained in somewhat control. Next

party will be even better. Next weekend a bunch of my friends are

going away, next challenge on my plate.

[Guest guest]

Whether this is a baby or giant step for you, its certainly a step in

the right direction! Congrats and you have a reason to be proud of

yourself Good job!

>

> Thanks to all for your helpful tips and hints. I did ok, considering I

> could've caused way more damage. I had one serving of food, I didn't

> show up hungry but had to have dessert although I was pretty much

> satisfied by that point. Yummy chocolate cake! Anyway, I am proud

> that I didn't binge on anything and remained in somewhat control. Next

> party will be even better. Next weekend a bunch of my friends are

> going away, next challenge on my plate.

>

[Guest guest]

Whether this is a baby or giant step for you, its certainly a step in

the right direction! Congrats and you have a reason to be proud of

yourself Good job!

>

> Thanks to all for your helpful tips and hints. I did ok, considering I

> could've caused way more damage. I had one serving of food, I didn't

> show up hungry but had to have dessert although I was pretty much

> satisfied by that point. Yummy chocolate cake! Anyway, I am proud

> that I didn't binge on anything and remained in somewhat control. Next

> party will be even better. Next weekend a bunch of my friends are

> going away, next challenge on my plate.

>

[Guest guest]

Whether this is a baby or giant step for you, its certainly a step in

the right direction! Congrats and you have a reason to be proud of

yourself Good job!

>

> Thanks to all for your helpful tips and hints. I did ok, considering I

> could've caused way more damage. I had one serving of food, I didn't

> show up hungry but had to have dessert although I was pretty much

> satisfied by that point. Yummy chocolate cake! Anyway, I am proud

> that I didn't binge on anything and remained in somewhat control. Next

> party will be even better. Next weekend a bunch of my friends are

> going away, next challenge on my plate.

>

[Guest guest]

I'm glad it went well!

Cyn

IntuitiveEating_Support , " snowball101375 "

wrote:

>

> Thanks to all for your helpful tips and hints. I did ok, considering

I

> could've caused way more damage. I had one serving of food, I didn't

> show up hungry but had to have dessert although I was pretty much

> satisfied by that point. Yummy chocolate cake! Anyway, I am proud

> that I didn't binge on anything and remained in somewhat control.

Next

> party will be even better. Next weekend a bunch of my friends are

> going away, next challenge on my plate.

>

[Guest guest]

I'm glad it went well!

Cyn

IntuitiveEating_Support , " snowball101375 "

wrote:

>

> Thanks to all for your helpful tips and hints. I did ok, considering

I

> could've caused way more damage. I had one serving of food, I didn't

> show up hungry but had to have dessert although I was pretty much

> satisfied by that point. Yummy chocolate cake! Anyway, I am proud

> that I didn't binge on anything and remained in somewhat control.

Next

> party will be even better. Next weekend a bunch of my friends are

> going away, next challenge on my plate.

>

[Guest guest]

I'm glad it went well!

Cyn

IntuitiveEating_Support , " snowball101375 "

wrote:

>

> Thanks to all for your helpful tips and hints. I did ok, considering

I

> could've caused way more damage. I had one serving of food, I didn't

> show up hungry but had to have dessert although I was pretty much

> satisfied by that point. Yummy chocolate cake! Anyway, I am proud

> that I didn't binge on anything and remained in somewhat control.

Next

> party will be even better. Next weekend a bunch of my friends are

> going away, next challenge on my plate.

>

[Guest guest]

Good job! See, now you can relax for the next one.

Hey, nothing wrong with chocolate cake. Food is part of life and there

is nothing wrong with sharing a meal with friends and enjoying what you

eat. Even cave people celebrated a kill.

Just remember and I have to do this, too, that it's about being with

friends.

The food is just background, not FOREGROUND. Don't know if I'm making

sense.

It just seems like it's " wrong " to enjoy food. Or something.

>

> Thanks to all for your helpful tips and hints. I did ok, considering

I

> could've caused way more damage. I had one serving of food, I didn't

> show up hungry but had to have dessert although I was pretty much

> satisfied by that point. Yummy chocolate cake! Anyway, I am proud

> that I didn't binge on anything and remained in somewhat control.

Next

> party will be even better. Next weekend a bunch of my friends are

> going away, next challenge on my plate.

>

[Guest guest]

I can completely understand not wanting to eat in front of others. I

have gotten much better, but sometimes I won't do it. Remember

everyone eats and you should never be embarrassed by it.

Next challenge for me is this weekend I am going away w/some

friends. Any advice here on not going overboard?

>

> Gillian I don't eat much at these times either because I feel

awkward eating

> in front of people. I did it yesterday some people came over to

visit and I

> was just about to sit down and eat lunch they called first so I

had time to

> have a snack and then when they were gone I ate my lunch. I have

always been

> like this not wanting to eat around people especially people I

know it

> doesn't effect me in restaurants but at parties and small

gatherings like that I

> don't know why. Eva

>

>

>

> ************************************** See what's new at

http://www.aol.com

>