- when is enough enough?

[Guest guest]

, you are not neurotic at all. I know exactly how

you feel believe me. It took me almost 2-1/2 years to

be diagnosed with Ashermans. My daughter's placenta

didn't detach at all and had to be manually removed.

The OB (who I really like) " reassembled " the placenta

like a jigsaw puzzle on the table next to me and

assured me she had gotten it all. Well, at 10 weeks

post partum I was still bleeding so they finally did

an ultrasound and found retained placenta. (As a

side-note, I am an attorney, and although I am not a

malpractice attorney, I have spoken with a friend who

is and he says that it is commonly accepted that

retained placenta is a " known complication " of

delivery and as such missing some placenta is not

considered to be malpractice.)

Anyway, I had a D & C done at 10 weeks to remove the

placenta and the bleeding finally stopped. Well, I

breastfed (as much as I could seeing as my milk never

really came in due to the retained placenta) up until

my daughter was 8 months old and never had a period

and was told that was normal while breastfeeding.

After I stopped breastfeeding I didn't have periods

either and was told that this was " normal " because I

was on a low-dose birth control pill and " some women

just don't get periods on these pills " Well, then I

stopped taking all birth control pills just after my

daughter turned 2 so we could try to conceive our

second child, and no period. My doctor told me that

it could take " up to 6 months for my body to return to

normal " after using birth control pills. I told her

that it had taken exactly 28 days to have a period

after stopping birth control pills when we conceived

our daughter, so why would this time be different? And

she said it could be due to the pregnancy.

Well, 6 months later, still no period so I see an OB

who says I must have " hypothalamic amennorrhea " a

hormonal imbalance. I had done quite a bit of research

by that time and asked him about Asherman's and he

told me I couldn't have that because it was " very

rare " . So, he forces me to do the Provera-challenge

and after taking Provera for 10 days and waiting

another 10 days I still have no period so he finally

refers me to an RE who takes one look at my chart and

says.... " you have Ashermans, you have the classic

history, I can't believe no one diagnosed you before

now. "

So, after 3 hysterosalpingograms, 3 saline

ultrasounds, and 3 attempts to remove my scarring, I

finally " gave up " about 2 weeks ago. My doctor did an

operative hysteroscopy and said that I was looking at

at LEAST 3 more surgeries to have any hope of

obtaining an open uterus and that the scarring he

found had grown into the muscle wall of my uterus and

even if they were able to remove it all, the chances

of my ever being able to grow healthy endometrium

again were very, very slim. So, that was " enough " for

me. I just couldn't keep putting myself through the

pain, both emotional and physical of hoping that this

" next " time would be it for me.

But, that is a personal decision every woman must

make. Only you can say when enough is enough for you.

How severe is your scarring? Do you know? Do you have

any healthy endometrium left? All of those things will

" factor " into the likelihood of a good outcome for

you. In my case, the answers to these questions made

the likelihood so slim that it wasn't worth it to us.

But that may not be the same for you.

All I can tell you is you need to gather as much

information as you can about your own situation and

they try to do your own cost/benefit analysis. What

it really boiled down to for me was " Can I live with

myself if I give up now? Can I live the rest of my

life without guilt or regret if I stop now? " I wasn't

able to reach that point until after having that

operative hysteroscopy and actually seeing pictures of

what the inside of my uterus looks like. It wasn't

until then, that the futility of more surgery finally

hit home for me.

I hope you can find that place of peace for yourself.

We are here to help you if we can.

Gwen

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