Contract AIDS for love's sake

[Guest guest]

Partners contract AIDS for love's sake

Buckwalter [16 Sep, 2006 0128hrs IST TIMES NEWS NETWORK ]

MUMBAI: For some of those who are afflicted by love, AIDS is not

scary enough. A disturbing trend seems to be emerging among young

Indians in gay or heterosexual relationships, who are willing to

deliberately contract AIDS to show solidarity with their HIV-

positive lovers.

Taranjeet Patel didn't know he would be making that type of

commitment when he met Kunal Shah. That was three years ago. Both

were in their mid-20s. They were employees at a Mumbai call centre

when they became involved in a gay relationship.

During their courtship days, they used to meet in restaurants and

theatres in the guise of boyish outings. No one ever caught them

holding hands, or nuzzling each other in stolen moments.

But there was something that stood in the way of a complete physical

relationship, a secret that Shah had been harboring the entire time.

He was HIV-positive.

Patel had begun to question Shah about their level of intimacy. He

had reached the point within himself where he was finally ready to

take it to the next level, but Shah never let it get that far. Patel

began to feel something was wrong until the truth about Shah's

positive status came out.

" It was at that point that Patel's respect and love for Shah soared

through the roof. He just couldn't believe that Shah had not

succumbed to the temptation, and spared him the disease.

He really thought that this was the epitome of a selfless act of

love,'' says Murugesan Sivasubramanian, ex-counsellor of The

Humsafar Trust.

Consumed by love and grief, Patel decided to contract AIDS. If not

life, he wanted to share death. " I did everything I could to

convince him that he would be a better partner to Kunal if he stayed

healthy to care for Kunal when he got sick, but he wouldn't

listen,'' Sivasubramanian says.

" I tried telling him that in reality it would be a selfish act to

get infected because Kunal would end up having to take care of him.

I asked him, `What if you're the first one to die, before Kunal?'

but nothing seemed to work.''...

After many months of not seeing Patel, Sivasubramanian finally ran

into the boy after months at the support group for HIV-positive

people. The ex-counsellor knew what had happened.

They exchanged burdened small talk and heavy glances, but no mention

was made of the situation. Patel's clock had begun ticking and both

could hear it loudly.

In the case of Anisha Konit, 18, she told Hemangi M, a counsellor

with Sion Hospital and the Humsafar Trust that she was willing to be

infected with the HIV disease her husband Rahul had contracted after

he had cheated on her.

After he had tested positive, Hemangi had convinced him to share the

news with his wife. Konit then got herself tested, along with their

daughter and discovered that both were negative.

" I wouldn't have minded getting infected. He's my husband and ours

is a love marriage. Even though all of this happened, I wouldn't

have divorced him,'' Konit told Hemangi, according to the

counsellor's recounting of the incident. Konit finally decided not

to deliberately contrive the disease because she had to take care of

her daughter.

Infidelity was also the source of HIV for Anupam Pandey, says

Hemangi, speaking about another love-lost couple she had counselled.

After being together with his boyfriend Vinod Das for a year, Pandey

got infected through another affair.

When he learnt that he had HIV, Pandey cut off all physical intimacy

with Das who was frantic to find out what was really going on.

Threatening suicide if Pandey didn't disclose the reasoning behind

his peculiar actions, he finally came clean and exposed he was

positive.

Das didn't want to know how, as another blow would have been too

much for him, Hemangi said.

Despite the risks involved, they continue their physical

relationship, albeit with the protection of condoms. Das' current

status is unknown, but it was never the killer virus that worried

him anyways. As long as there are no secrets in their bedroom, he is

just fine with everything.

(Names have been changed on request)

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/msid-1996376,curpg-

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