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I lived with a 17-year old-timer for a few months when I was coming

up on a year sober. The guy was a real purist--no booze, no drugs,

no caffeine, no sugar (though honey didn't seem to count). He wouldn't

use real vanilla extract when cooking because it contained alcohol, and

he predicted my doom for eating a Grand Marnier truffle--but he used

Listerine twice a day during his obsessive dental-hygeine rituals.

Go figure.

Cheers,

.

> Hell no. The alcohol didn't do crap to me. I didn't have an

> overwhelming urge to land in an institution. I never understood those

> folks who would avoid mouthwash and salad dressing or fish dishes with

> wine in it. It never bothered me. I saw one old timer from our club

> get de-Timed for taking a swig of cooking wine while preparing dinner

> at home. The " group conscience " (lynch mob) decided he would be

> sending the wrong message to newcomers. The guy had 12 years or so,

> and the group de-frocked his old timer status right in front of

> everyone!

> Apple

> > > I tried Hypericum (St. s Wort) Boy did it work. I got the

> > tincture

> > > in alcohol suspension,

> >

> > Whoa! Did you change your sobriety date? Raise your hand

> > as a newcomer?

> > <laugh, shudder>

> >

> > Cheers,

> > .

>

>

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I lived with a 17-year old-timer for a few months when I was coming

up on a year sober. The guy was a real purist--no booze, no drugs,

no caffeine, no sugar (though honey didn't seem to count). He wouldn't

use real vanilla extract when cooking because it contained alcohol, and

he predicted my doom for eating a Grand Marnier truffle--but he used

Listerine twice a day during his obsessive dental-hygeine rituals.

Go figure.

Cheers,

.

> Hell no. The alcohol didn't do crap to me. I didn't have an

> overwhelming urge to land in an institution. I never understood those

> folks who would avoid mouthwash and salad dressing or fish dishes with

> wine in it. It never bothered me. I saw one old timer from our club

> get de-Timed for taking a swig of cooking wine while preparing dinner

> at home. The " group conscience " (lynch mob) decided he would be

> sending the wrong message to newcomers. The guy had 12 years or so,

> and the group de-frocked his old timer status right in front of

> everyone!

> Apple

> > > I tried Hypericum (St. s Wort) Boy did it work. I got the

> > tincture

> > > in alcohol suspension,

> >

> > Whoa! Did you change your sobriety date? Raise your hand

> > as a newcomer?

> > <laugh, shudder>

> >

> > Cheers,

> > .

>

>

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Hi Matt, folks

As ever I identify with you so much Matt. I have become frightened of

getting better when taking meds too, and I'm 39 so have had 12 more

years of the depression habit than you.

Best of luck. I may hit OA too, and try to talk abt stuff I can

believe in. Might rescue a few unfortunates from steppism, who knows?

best,

Pete

" md matt " wrote:

original article:/group/12-step-free/?start=8662

> Hi all! Thanks for your responses to my multiple postings Friday

night. I

> feel a lot a better today. Looking back, I was just having a bad

night. By

> bad I mean pretty scary. I've come to realize that the prozac is

making me

> feel better. And that scares the crap out of me. For about a year

I've

> been in so much physical and mental anguish I couldn't see straight.

Now,

> I'm feeling better. And I don't know what to do with myself!

> That's the scary thing about depression or misery. I've

almost

> become dependent on my life being hell. So, in my post where I

lashed out

> at prozac and the world I was trying to go back. I wanted to go back

to

> what was familiar for me: feeling awful. Really, last night, I'd

decided I

> was going to stop prozac and return to AA, find a really mean sponsor

and

> just shut my mouth! Luckily, I realized tonight that I would be

selling

> myself short.

> Anyway, thanks for being understanding. My hard work has

just

> begun. But I really want to fight for my happiness. I know its not

gonna

> be easy keeping with my meds and therapy. But I've got to stick with

it.

> Unless I want to be miserable forever. Matt

>

> ______________________________________________________

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Hi Matt, folks

As ever I identify with you so much Matt. I have become frightened of

getting better when taking meds too, and I'm 39 so have had 12 more

years of the depression habit than you.

Best of luck. I may hit OA too, and try to talk abt stuff I can

believe in. Might rescue a few unfortunates from steppism, who knows?

best,

Pete

" md matt " wrote:

original article:/group/12-step-free/?start=8662

> Hi all! Thanks for your responses to my multiple postings Friday

night. I

> feel a lot a better today. Looking back, I was just having a bad

night. By

> bad I mean pretty scary. I've come to realize that the prozac is

making me

> feel better. And that scares the crap out of me. For about a year

I've

> been in so much physical and mental anguish I couldn't see straight.

Now,

> I'm feeling better. And I don't know what to do with myself!

> That's the scary thing about depression or misery. I've

almost

> become dependent on my life being hell. So, in my post where I

lashed out

> at prozac and the world I was trying to go back. I wanted to go back

to

> what was familiar for me: feeling awful. Really, last night, I'd

decided I

> was going to stop prozac and return to AA, find a really mean sponsor

and

> just shut my mouth! Luckily, I realized tonight that I would be

selling

> myself short.

> Anyway, thanks for being understanding. My hard work has

just

> begun. But I really want to fight for my happiness. I know its not

gonna

> be easy keeping with my meds and therapy. But I've got to stick with

it.

> Unless I want to be miserable forever. Matt

>

> ______________________________________________________

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Hi Matt, folks

As ever I identify with you so much Matt. I have become frightened of

getting better when taking meds too, and I'm 39 so have had 12 more

years of the depression habit than you.

Best of luck. I may hit OA too, and try to talk abt stuff I can

believe in. Might rescue a few unfortunates from steppism, who knows?

best,

Pete

" md matt " wrote:

original article:/group/12-step-free/?start=8662

> Hi all! Thanks for your responses to my multiple postings Friday

night. I

> feel a lot a better today. Looking back, I was just having a bad

night. By

> bad I mean pretty scary. I've come to realize that the prozac is

making me

> feel better. And that scares the crap out of me. For about a year

I've

> been in so much physical and mental anguish I couldn't see straight.

Now,

> I'm feeling better. And I don't know what to do with myself!

> That's the scary thing about depression or misery. I've

almost

> become dependent on my life being hell. So, in my post where I

lashed out

> at prozac and the world I was trying to go back. I wanted to go back

to

> what was familiar for me: feeling awful. Really, last night, I'd

decided I

> was going to stop prozac and return to AA, find a really mean sponsor

and

> just shut my mouth! Luckily, I realized tonight that I would be

selling

> myself short.

> Anyway, thanks for being understanding. My hard work has

just

> begun. But I really want to fight for my happiness. I know its not

gonna

> be easy keeping with my meds and therapy. But I've got to stick with

it.

> Unless I want to be miserable forever. Matt

>

> ______________________________________________________

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