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Beyond Boundaries: Autobiography of a Sex Worker

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Beyond Boundaries:

Nalini Jameela: Oru Lyngika Thozhilaliyude Atmakatha,

(Autobiography of a Sex Worker) prepared by I Gopinath; D C Books, Kottayam,

2005 pp. 151, Rs 70. EPW Reviews. April 1, 2006.

P S Leela

When Nalini Jameela's autobiography was first published in June

2005, it created ripples in Kerala. It is no literary masterpiece,

but it is remarkable that such a book, authored by a 52-year old sex

worker, has been published in Malayalam. It has initiated a wider

public discussion on sex and the need for proper sex education, and

it has questioned prevailing hypocrisy on sex, both of which are

rarely discussed openly in Kerala. The book tells Nalini Jameela's

story and reflects her experiences and struggle in a conservative

society.

Nalini Jameela begins her life story… " Now I am 51 years old, I

would like to live as a sex worker… " . Needless to say, widespread

anxiety and anguish greeted her book when it was published. Years

back, when Kamala Das serialised her autobiography Ente Kadha (later

published in English as My Story) in Malayala Nadu Weekly, the moral

policemen of Kerala savagely blackened her personality for daring to

openly speak the truth. As the reception to Jameela's story shows

once again, Kerala society has demonstrated that it is impossible to

accept such an " indecent " book, that too one written by a woman.

In such a society, when a sex worker openly dignifies her profession

and compares it with other services like teaching, it is no wonder

that cultural pillars are shaken. That Nalini says that she wants to

continue to live her life as a sex worker is, of course, a blow to

the Malayali who holds dear the family mantra and firmly believes in

a patriarchal family structure dominated by the " man of the house "

and where the wife is ruled by her husband. Kerala stands at the

very top of the literacy ladder, but it is also a place where you

wake up each morning to the news of sex scandals, child abuse and

sex tourism. That Nalini Jameela who talks about wives being

sexually abused by their husbands or treated as legalised sex

workers would not receive the support, even covertly, of the women

of Kerala, was only to be expected.

No child is born as a sex worker. Neither was Nalini. She was born

into the same society where parents teach their girl children

that " sex is a sin " and that the " woman has to safeguard her

chastity " . Girls from childhood are told an old proverb, roughly

translated as, " If a leaf falls on a thorn or a thorn falls on a

leaf, it is only the leaf that suffers " . In Nalini's home, her

mother had no power despite the fact that the house was run with her

earnings as a mill worker. Nalini's father's pension was

insufficient for meeting his many diversions. Outside home he was a

communist, but inside no less than a dictator. When her mother lost

her job, Nalini had to discontinue school in the third standard and

began to work in a sand quarry. At the quarry, female workers were

regularly sexually harassed. It was a part of the women workers'

duty to " satisfy " the needs of owners and contractors. The quarry

was also where girls and young women often had brief infatuations.

Nalini survived this phase without any bruises despite her own

infatuations. When Nalini's brother married without his father's

consent, she supported him, for which she was beaten up by her

father. Finally, Nalini decided to escape the four walls of the

house.

Dawn of a Sex Worker

Outside home, Nalini faced insecurity. She wanted food and shelter.

So when a thug in her village offered her marriage, she did not

hesitate. He gave her food, clothing and shelter, as promised, but

also sexually exploited her. More than a wife, Nalini was a

legalised sex worker. When she questioned her husband's extramarital

affairs she was assaulted. And Nalini became addicted to the arrack

he brewed and sold from home. Nalini could understand the meaning of

the lascivious looks she invited from the clients who visited their

home to buy arrack. But as she was the " wife " of a `goonda' no one

dared touch her. However, she lost that security when her husband

died after three years of marriage, leaving behind two children. The

old customers of her husband tried to help her, but knocked at the

door in the night. Her mother-in-law was willing to look after her

son's children, but demanded Rs 5 a day, which was more than

Nalini's daily wage in the quarry. It was in such conditions that

Nalini became a sex worker.

Since then Nalini has been in the profession of sex work, except for

two breaks during two more marriages. Many clients came to her,

different personalities with different needs. She moved from place

to place, changing various " company houses " . Some of these houses

were run by proud nair families. A variety of people approached

Nalini – politicians, policemen, cultural activists and others. Her

path was rough and risky, unimaginable for an ordinary woman. She

faced police harassment, encountered local goondas, escaped from a

gang rape attempt and even death. For a brief period, she enjoyed a

normal family life. Twice she tried to settle down as wife and

mother, and even had a daughter. It was after her third marriage

that she assumed the name of Nalini Jameela. But this did not last.

Nalini developed acute health problems; her husband's attitude

towards her also changed gradually. She eventually left her

husband's house with her 13-year old daughter. After putting her

daughter in a house as a domestic servant, she worked in the Erwadi

mental hospital in Tamil Nadu. There she saw the poor conditions and

ill-treatment of the mental patients. Then she begged on the streets

for some time, moving from one place to another, church to church

and somehow reached the medical college at Thiruvananthapuram where

she was treated for a tumour in her leg. When she recovered, she

went back to sex work.

Jwalamukhi: A Turning Point

Nalini's life changed with her association with Jwalamukhi, an

organisation which works for sex workers' rights. That was a turning

point in her life. It was a platform on which she could share her

problem with others. Study classes were conducted for the sex

workers to make them aware of AIDS and the need for safe sex. They

discussed harassment by the police and exploitation by middlemen.

They demanded a human rights approach towards sex workers. At

Kozhikode, where Nalini had moved, life was miserable due to

frequent police raids and arrests that were made on trumped-up

charges. One sex worker who was arrested " vanished " from the custody

and her body was found later. This incident sparked off mass

protests by many civil society organisations, but no one could

establish the culpability of the police. (Nalini even speaks about

the need for safe places where a sex worker can meet her client

without any police interference.) For Nalini, the association with

Jwalamukhi eventually led to her travelling abroad to attend global

conferences. With the travel came exposure and soon she acquired the

skill to make documentary films.

The conflict at the global level between feminists and sex workers

is reflected in Kerala too. Feminist groups extend their support to

sex workers but only up to a limit. They accept the fundamental

rights of sex workers, but their rehabilitation policy is

unacceptable to the sex workers. Nalini Jameela too is against

rehabilitation. According to her, no rehabilitation policy has been

successful. " The sex workers who come to this field on their own do

not need any rehabilitation, because they have a job. They work with

their body, just as some people work with their hands, others with

their heads. "

The Future?

In her book, Nalini Jameela is silent about the future of sex

workers and their social security. Since basic factors like age and

health determine the duration of their profession, sex workers

cannot work beyond an age. Later they have little social security to

fall back on. The legalisation of sex work may solve many of their

problems, especially routine police harassment, but even this is

only up to a limit. Goondas and middlemen would remain active and

their harassment of sex workers would not end with legalisation. And

there is another terrible side to sex work, which one cannot remain

oblivious to. Many young girls are exploited and forced into this

job; trafficking even takes teenaged girls abroad. As has happened

in other professions, in this field too, the " demand " for sex

workers in certain categories is high in our globalised world. And

other sex workers, who cannot reach these global standards

remain " last grade sex workers " . The author dignifies her work and

at the same time she is happy with the " normal " lives her daughters

appear to be living. Nalini Jameela believes that she has more

freedom than an average woman to " choose " a man and she can select

her child's father, even if this was not " allowed " to her.

Through her unusual book Nalini Jameela offers us an opportunity to

sort out and question this complicated and sensitive issue of sex

work. Before joining Jwalamukhi, Nalini Jameela was an ordinary sex

worker, who worked for food and shelter. But joining this NGO and

sharing the experiences of other sex workers has given Nalini

Jameela the strength to accept her social stigma with dignity.

Email: leela.solomon@...

http://www.epw.org.in/showArticles.php?

root=2006 & leaf=04 & filename=9907 & filetype=html

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