yuk yuk

[Guest guest]

DEEP THOUGHTS

: > >

: > > I am in shape. Round's a shape... :-)

: > > ~~~~~

: > > Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet

soup?

: > > ~~~~~

: > > I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more

specific.

: > > ~~~~~

: > > Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at

you?

: > > But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window.

: > > ~~~~~

: > > Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing a

: > > bank robbery has just taken place.

: > > ~~~~~

: > > I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock

every

: > > other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there

picking

: > > the locks, they are always locking three. Not a bad idea!!!

: > > ~~~~~

: > > The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans

is

: > > suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three

best

: > > friends. If they are okay, then it's you.

: > > ~~~~~

: > > Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty

: > > violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a

: > > bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.

: > > ~~~~~

: > > I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always

say

: > > because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my

: > > mother-in-law is attractive, but I only have photographs of her.

: > > ~~~~~

: > > A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket.

: > > 'You know a cow was murdered for that jacket'? She sneered. I

: > > replied in a psychotic tone, 'I didn't know there were any

witnesses.

: > > Now I'll have to kill you too.'

: > > ~~~~~

: > > Future historians will be able to study at the Gerald Ford

Library;

: > > the Library; the Reagan Library and the

: > > Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.