and another AA horror story

[Guest guest]

Hi , I have been enjoying your posts for a few weeks now.

Another things I hate about AA is the unwillingness to be accountable for some of the sick things that are allowed to go on in and out of meetings. I can understand how an individuals actions shouldn't be attributed to the whole group. But there is such an unwillingness to address anything contoversial. It just encourages these sick things to continue.

There are a ton of predators and downright scary criminal people who seem to have found safe haven in meetings. My exposure to psycho's, lunatics, and nutcases has dropped to almost zero since I have left the rooms. The exception is the occasional

semi-stranger who has remembered me from some distant meeting in the past who has aassumed I am Mother Theresa and I will be willing to listen to thier sad story and hear a confession of some deep dark secret or heinious act they have committed. I run like hell to get away from them.

When my son was 17, he was arrested for the usual under the influence crime. He had left home when I drew the line at having one more thing dissappear out of my house for drugs. In a way i was relieved because i felt that I would have some leverge with the judge to help him get some kind of treatment. (Ok, I was naive and still hopeful that a treatment center would be helpful) I refused to allow him to be released into my custody. There was some jerk from AA at the hearing. I will call him drop-dead Fred. He hung out at all of the clubs waiting to sponsor young boys from treatment centers. I didn't know much about him but was begginning to be sceptical of the whole sponsorship thing. So the judge releases my son into his care with only a statement from this guy that he was from AA. No other questions about who he is or where he lives...nothing. That " anonymous " thing really worked for him. My son wakes up from a black-out tied up with belts and with this guy standing over him.

I have had my problems too. I had this whacko, scary guy stalking me in meetings. He was always coming in to the detox center where I worked and I had attempted to let all of my supervisors know and allow me not to have to deal with him. They thought I was just being paranoid and demanded that I had to have contact with him at work because he was one of the suffering.....it just terrifies me how close I came to getting into a real bad situation. Shortly after this he walked into a bar and blew away 3 women with a shot-gun.

I am going to continue to take everyone's inventory to coin a AA babblespeak term. Not just listen to what they say, but rigorously judge them by thier actions. Since leaving those awful rooms, my exposure to incredibly sick and twisted men and women had dropped to almost zero. I have placed my own safety and happiness at the top of my list. This is not to say I am selfish and self-absorbed. I think I have more compassion and energy for others. I don't do it to boost a non-existant sense of self-esteem anymore though. I don't help others because I think I have all the answers either...or because I am scared I am just a step away from getting loaded or drunk as AA would have me believe. It is because I am in a give and take relationship with other people in my life....not as a requirement of some set of rules. Rebekah

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