Guest guest Posted July 17, 1999 Report Share Posted July 17, 1999 Ohmigod , you're cracking up!!! I hope you're saving these pieces! Apple > ************************** > BULLSHIT SHORTAGE THREATENS AA > ************************** > > A national shortage of bullshit is threatening the very survival of > America's favorite folk remedy for alcoholism. A considerable quantity > of this natural resource is required to maintain the normal everyday > functioning of Alcoholics Anonymous. One of the major causes of this > threat to its survival comes from within its own ranks. > > The Pacific Group long known for its excessive consumption of the prized > commodity, not to mention the enormous quantity utilized by its leader > Clancy Imusland, has been the primary cause of AA's unfortunate deficit. > > > Even U.S. reserves appear to be threatened in the wake of this usage. It > is common knowledge that our own system of government requires the > maintenance of a steady flow of bullshit into its infrastructure. Our > government long known for this dependency urged President Clinton to > approve the filing of an injunction against Alcoholics Anonymous to > prevent any further threat to our National Security. The President's own > reserves badly depleted from his overindulgence in recent years will > surely feel compelled to support the sanctions against AA. > > As a result, bullshit rationing has now been imposed throughout AA's > fellowship. After taking a full scale group conscience, AA is now > requesting, in the spirit of its seventh tradition that states " We are > self supporting through our own contributions " , that along with the > traditional financial tithe that members make an effort to contribute > any unused bullshit that can be spared. > > Clancy has been quoted as saying, " We are in a fight for the very > survival of the AA way of life. We drunks from all walks of life are now > called to task in order to preserve the delusionary nature of our > fellowship, and for that WE ARE RESPONSIBLE " Mr. Imusland waxed poetic > about his service in WWII when he is alleged to have contracted the > alcoholism that has propelled him to the forefront of the Alcoholics > Anonymous Twelve Step Movement. > > Whether AA will prevail in its bid for survival remains to be seen, but > historical precedent has shown that the insatiable gullibility of the > masses has kept a plethora of philosophical dinosaurs afloat through the > ages. > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ eGroups.com home: /group/12-step-free - Simplifying group communications Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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