Re: OT: Help from seasoned Moms?

[Guest guest]

tomorrow is Mother's Day.....and do ya think either one of my guys (hubby or son) care? nope!

Awww.... I'm sorry you are having a bad night. *HUGS* I don't have a 14 yr old, but is my one and only, and at 5 1/2 he already makes me sad about how fast he's growing up... so I can't imagine later on... and even more so if he remains my only.

As for Mother's Day... I realized my first Mother's Day that I was honored every day, and it sort of took the "bite" out of getting nothing... I know it's not the best answer- but it works for me, some of the time! ;-)

I hope your evening gets better, and that tomorrow is good for you too, ~*~~*~

"Stress is when you wake up screaming

and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet."

[Guest guest]

MELODY WROTE>>>I need some help from some of you "seasoned" moms out there. I'm having a really hard time letting go, I guess you could say. My 14yo, and my only, is slowly, but surely pulling away and I'm just not handling it very well

Sure wish that I had some words of wisdom for you Melody, but I don't. I'm the same way, except my son just turned 18. He is and will always be my baby. And yes, I still call this 6'2" young man "Baby". I've raised my children to be confident, responsible, very self-sufficient young adults. But, I still worry about them out there in the big, bad world. They are my life. I get very emotional when I think about when they won't be living at home anymore. Perhaps will be able to offer some advice. She always has such good insight to our concerns.

(((Encouraging Hugs)))

Janet

"In the final analysis it is not what you do for your children but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them successful human beings." Ann Landers

[Guest guest]

Melody, this reminds me of several of the episodes of "Roseanne" when her oldest Becky was doing the same thing. 14 year olds want to be able to do things on their own and to see how far they can go without "Mom or Dad" telling them they can or cannot do that. They want to be independent but yet they need to be "dependent." Just keep tabs on his behavior and if it really starts getting violent (either verbal or physical) then you will need to deal with it. Those are the signs that something is taking them in the wrong direction. If you can get him to stop long enough to talk to you, let him know that you will always be there for them and he can come to you on anything, to share with you anything that he feels you will accept, or even not accept. Let him know that you "trust him" to do the right thing and let him discover his own identity. There is also a commercial that shows here, probably where you live also, of a boy around that age

coming down the stairs with his hair all spiked up, earrings all over, dressed in black and leather. Mom calls out to him and then approaches him. She straightens his collar and dust him off and verifies where he is going and did he leave a phone number he can be reached at and tells him "remember to be in by .... ". Hope this helps. Barbie

Melody Moris wrote:

I need some help from some of you "seasoned" moms out there. I'm having a really hard time letting go, I guess you could say. My 14yo, and my only, is slowly, but surely pulling away and I'm just not handling it very well

Stupid I know....but after 12 years of praying for a child - 14 years just doesn't seem long enough ya know? He spends more and more time away from me and more and more time with his friends. I KNOW this is normal, but why does it have to be so hard? jeez! everytime he walks out the door he takes another piece of my heart with him.

*sigh* how on earth am I going to deal when he finally goes out the door for good to start his own life, if I'm already falling apart now?

AND.....why oh why don't they realize what they are doing? LOL tomorrow is Mother's Day.....and do ya think either one of my guys (hubby or son) care? nope!

ok....I'm done whining - I just thought maybe some of the more seasoned parents out there might have some suggestions on how to survive this....or am I just not normal?

Melody Moris, LeaderTOPS #TX 1454, Pleasantonhttp://www.texastops.org

EMAIL TEXAS-STYLE!!

[Guest guest]

Great advice Barbie! Of course I wouldn't know what to say....no kids and we'll never be a mom....but I love that commercial and I hope to be a parent like that when I have kids...if I have kids! LOL! It would annoy the heck out of me of course but I am sure it's just a phase and they will grow out of it and I can't scold my kids for something I did. Only tell them about my experiences with it. LOL!

-----Original Message-----From: Barbie Brewer Sent: Monday, May 10, 2004 12:46 PMTo: TexasTOPS Subject: Re: OT: Help from "seasoned" Moms?

Melody, this reminds me of several of the episodes of "Roseanne" when her oldest Becky was doing the same thing. 14 year olds want to be able to do things on their own and to see how far they can go without "Mom or Dad" telling them they can or cannot do that. They want to be independent but yet they need to be "dependent." Just keep tabs on his behavior and if it really starts getting violent (either verbal or physical) then you will need to deal with it. Those are the signs that something is taking them in the wrong direction. If you can get him to stop long enough to talk to you, let him know that you will always be there for them and he can come to you on anything, to share with you anything that he feels you will accept, or even not accept. Let him know that you "trust him" to do the right thing and let him discover his own identity. There is also a commercial that shows here, probably where you live also, of a boy around that age coming down the stairs with his hair all spiked up, earrings all over, dressed in black and leather. Mom calls out to him and then approaches him. She straightens his collar and dust him off and verifies where he is going and did he leave a phone number he can be reached at and tells him "remember to be in by .... ". Hope this helps. Barbie

Melody Moris wrote:

I need some help from some of you "seasoned" moms out there. I'm having a really hard time letting go, I guess you could say. My 14yo, and my only, is slowly, but surely pulling away and I'm just not handling it very well

Stupid I know....but after 12 years of praying for a child - 14 years just doesn't seem long enough ya know? He spends more and more time away from me and more and more time with his friends. I KNOW this is normal, but why does it have to be so hard? jeez! everytime he walks out the door he takes another piece of my heart with him.

*sigh* how on earth am I going to deal when he finally goes out the door for good to start his own life, if I'm already falling apart now?

AND.....why oh why don't they realize what they are doing? LOL tomorrow is Mother's Day.....and do ya think either one of my guys (hubby or son) care? nope!

ok....I'm done whining - I just thought maybe some of the more seasoned parents out there might have some suggestions on how to survive this....or am I just not normal?

Melody Moris, LeaderTOPS #TX 1454, Pleasantonhttp://www.texastops.org

EMAIL TEXAS-STYLE!! EMAIL TEXAS-STYLE!!