ttc

[Guest guest]

Jo-Ann,

I am so glad to finally see you here. I hope that you find much support and

compassion here.

Being afraid is the sole reason that we are doing IVF. It has nothing to do

with being impatient. Sure, there is a 2% chance of ectopic, but that is

much less than with natural conception (in my case, due to past risk factors).

I am also still mourning the loss of Tucker. Not as intensely as before, but

it has been almost 7 months. Try to remember that having another child (and

wanting to) does not mean that you are trying to replace the child that was

lost. One is not a substitute for another, and don't let anyone make you

feel that TTC again somehow betrays the memory of your child.

My doctor told us no intercourse for 8 weeks after surgery. It is okay to

not have even wanted to. Your mind has to heal, and that usually takes much

longer than the body. Have you talked with DH about it?

Take care,

Krista

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 10/8/99 8:40:09 PM Eastern Daylight Time, FJDarcy@...

writes:

<< ...how long has everyone waited before trying to

conceive? >>

Hi --

My ectopic ruptured on July 10, and three months later, I'm feeling like

I could handle trying again, both physically and emotionally. The only

reason we're waiting at this point is to get married so I'll have health

insurance. We're probably going to get married right after the new year, and

then I'll go off the pill again.

I have something else going on, though, that most of you don't--a

biological clock that's starting to tick very loudly (I'm 36). I feel like I

don't really have the luxury of waiting any more than necessary. That way,

if it turns out to be another ectopic, Ely and I still have a couple years to

consider IVF (if finances would allow such a thing, which is pretty unlikely,

but you never know).

[Guest guest]

- my ep was July 9th and I thought I was ready...we tried one month

and then I realized that I am not. I just started the bcp again, just until

I am sure...I have so many mixed emotions...I want a child so bad, but I feel

like at 26 I have the luxury of waiting until I am absolutley ready again...

[Guest guest]

number three is trying in December...

[Guest guest]

Pam

I just realized you may have meant what did they do for treatment. What an

airhead! That would be a DNC to check for fetal tissue. When none was

detected I was given methotrexate.

Amy

[Guest guest]

,

What I am unsure of, is that when I start my period, the first day is

usually very light (only really need a panty liner for the whole day)

but it is definately red blood, so would I count that as the start of AF

or just spotting?

take care

sonja

Re: ttc

I don't know about hcg levels as they relate to bleeding. I bled for

about

a week after my surgery/ectopic. I also bled for about 10 days after a

m/c

in 1997. They never measured my hcg levels to determine if they reached

0,

just that they were dropping.

Each month I spot for four or five days, then AF comes. TCOYF states

that

you should only count the first day of red blood flow as AF...anything

else

should be charted as spotting and continue charting for the same cycle.

The

only way to know what is going on is to wait and see at this point.

Perhaps

this is why your doctor told you not to bother charting, because he

thought

it might be a strange month cycle-wise. I don't know what your doctor

told

you about anything else, but I was told to wait three cycles before ttc

again. This gives your body a chance to heal and get back on its normal

pattern. My body seemed to get back into rhythm right away, but you may

not. Are you taking temps this month? Are they showing any pattern or

are

they all over the place? That is the only other thing I could use to

try to

make sense of what is going on...unfortunately you may just have to wait

and

see with this one.

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[Guest guest]

That is a toughie, but I suppose that as long as you are consistent go ahead

and count it as day one since it is red blood flow and only about one day in

duration.

For years my first indication of AF was cramping, followed quickly by

moderate to heavy " flow " . During my last stint on bcp's, I started this

business of spotting dark blood for about 4 days before that cramping and

flow indicated the start of the period. That did not stop after I got off

the bcp's. I started counting the spotting as day one until I started

charting, when I found I was supposed to count the " red blood " as day one.

The funny thing is, if I counted the spotting as day one, I would be on my

period for over a week but I would O on about day 14. Counting as I do, I

am on AF about 5 days and O on day 17-18. Go figure.

Take care,

[Guest guest]

Yeah, I suppose you're right. I usually wake up in the morning with

cramps, and then the bleeding would follow in about 3-4 hours.

(predictable hey?)I tried this month with the rule of if the spotting

turns to flow before 4pm. then count it as day1, but it never does, only

it definately is red blood. I think I will not take that as day1 this

cycle, and see when I ovulate etc. then next month I'll have a better

idea of what's what.

So far my temps. have been very consistent. The first day was lower than

the others', but I took my temp. earlier that usual, and I had a

restless night, but since then they've been practically fixed at 37deg.

Celsius.

take care

sonja

Re: ttc

That is a toughie, but I suppose that as long as you are consistent go

ahead

and count it as day one since it is red blood flow and only about one

day in

duration.

For years my first indication of AF was cramping, followed quickly by

moderate to heavy " flow " . During my last stint on bcp's, I started this

business of spotting dark blood for about 4 days before that cramping

and

flow indicated the start of the period. That did not stop after I got

off

the bcp's. I started counting the spotting as day one until I started

charting, when I found I was supposed to count the " red blood " as day

one.

The funny thing is, if I counted the spotting as day one, I would be on

my

period for over a week but I would O on about day 14. Counting as I do,

I

am on AF about 5 days and O on day 17-18. Go figure.

Take care,

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[Guest guest]

Pam,

I had my ep in Feb of '98. I never knew I was pg and went into the er w/

severe abdominal pains. My dh found me naked and passed out on the

bathroom floor and flew me to the hosp. By that point I had suffered a

complete rupture and had to have emergency surgery to save my life. I lost

my baby, my left tube and over 50% of my body's blood. My doc wouldn't

even do a hsg for 6 months. B/c of the fact that I was teetering on the

brink of death they cut me 4 1/2 inches right up the middle to stop the

bleeding immediately. It was a long and agonizing recovery physically. I

spent 5 days in the hosp, four of them catheterized and unable to get out

of bed. I also had to be intubated which did a number on my throat. On my

4th day in the hosp I told the nurse I thought I had strept throat b/c it

hurt so much. She smiled and said my pain was from the long tube they

stuck down my throat when I " began to crash " .

This is why it has taken me so long to work up the courage to try again. I

have been afraid and dh was even more afraid of losing me. We have worked

through it and are ready. Now that I chart, I will know to test right away

- it won't come out of left field. I have spent a lot of time educating

myself about ep and the risks and warning signs. I am ready. I think this

is why I am so confident. Not to mention that it just feels right. I know

my time is coming.

But I can relate to the fact that it has been a long time coming. I will

keep my fingers crossed for both of us. For me AF should arrive on Mon or

Tues, so the O time is not far away:)

Tara

ttc

tara,

I just got the okay to ttc again and I feel the same way. That by some

miracle I will pg within the next few months. Although it took us forever

to get pg the first time. So I don't know why I'm getting all excited like

something can happen right away. I have no idea were I am in my cycle. We

have to wing it this month and start charting again next month. When did

you have your ep? Did you have to have surgery. I had mine 8/30/99. I was

treated with Methotrexate. It took until last week until my HCG was down to

zero again. It has been such a long wait.

Pam

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[Guest guest]

Dear Tara,

I hold my breath every time I hear your story. Bless your heart! You really

went through HELL! I know gaining the strenngth to do it again is hard, but

look at it this way: You've already had the most awful EP experience I've

ever heard of, that will never happen to you again because you will be able

to monitor it right from the start!

Good Luck Hon!

[Guest guest]

,

Thanks. It was hell. Sometimes it just pops into my mind and I start

crying. I am afraid of a repeat performance at times. But I am trying

anyways. My parents are not really comfortable w/ me trying. I can see it

in their faces when I talk about it although they do not say it directly.

I think when I am finally pg I will tell them after it's confirmed in my

uterus. I hate worrying them. It took dh a while to come around too. He

wants me to stick around in life. I just try to reassure him that I'm on

top of the whole situation. He laughs every morning at 6am when my

thermometer starts beeping away - LOL. Thanks for your support.

Tara

Re: ttc

Dear Tara,

I hold my breath every time I hear your story. Bless your heart! You

really

went through HELL! I know gaining the strenngth to do it again is hard,

but

look at it this way: You've already had the most awful EP experience I've

ever heard of, that will never happen to you again because you will be able

to monitor it right from the start!

Good Luck Hon!

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[Guest guest]

Tara

I get the same from my mom. Every time I bring up having another baby,

she tells me that she doesn't feel that that is a very clever thing for

me to consider. I know she means well, and that she is just concerned,

but you need support, not people adding to your own fears. I will also

only tell her once I've had a sonar and know what's what.

take care

sonja

Re: ttc

Dear Tara,

I hold my breath every time I hear your story. Bless your heart! You

really

went through HELL! I know gaining the strenngth to do it again is hard,

but

look at it this way: You've already had the most awful EP experience

I've

ever heard of, that will never happen to you again because you will be

able

to monitor it right from the start!

Good Luck Hon!

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[Guest guest]

My Mom is the same way too! She is a nurse and freaks out when I get a cold.

After the 5 losses she had almost forbid me to get pregnant again (AS IF)!

I guess that's why they are called Mom's!!

[Guest guest]

,

Not silly at all. I have my fingers crossed.

Tara

ttc

good morning girls...I just wanted to give an update. dh and I have been

bding for 3 days now but yesterday was like a fairy tale. I woke up early

and did some things around the house so when he woke up he would be ready.

Then I set up a makeshift bed of quilts and comforters on the floor of the

" baby's " rrom and we did the bd in there. The best part is eysterday was a

cloudy miserable day, but...as soon as we finished the sun came straming

through the window and shone in our faces, the light was so bright you had to

look away. I took this as a sign from somewhere I guess and am feeling

rather good about our chances this month.

Sounds silly, I know.

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[Guest guest]

:

Sounds great and beautiful sweetie! I have read about women who had

experiences like that...emotionally moving experiences...Here's hoping for

you.

I have to say though that ours was pretty non-descript...I thought it would

be earth shaking when that baby was conceived, but it was just plain old

" cheese pizza " type bd...not " the works " . hehehe But you know, whatever

does the job is fine with me!

[Guest guest]

,

That doesn't sound silly to me, it sounds really romantic! I really hope

that your dream will come true this month.

good luck

sonja

ttc

good morning girls...I just wanted to give an update. dh and I have

been

bding for 3 days now but yesterday was like a fairy tale. I woke up

early

and did some things around the house so when he woke up he would be

ready.

Then I set up a makeshift bed of quilts and comforters on the floor of

the

" baby's " rrom and we did the bd in there. The best part is eysterday

was a

cloudy miserable day, but...as soon as we finished the sun came straming

through the window and shone in our faces, the light was so bright you

had to

look away. I took this as a sign from somewhere I guess and am feeling

rather good about our chances this month.

Sounds silly, I know.

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[Guest guest]

,

Technically, yeah you can do the hpt before AF is missed. With my second ep,

the hpt was pos before I was late---trust me, drs were shocked. However, I

think I was just lucky in that one, and I was already having the symptoms of

pg (mainly morning sickness), being my reason for testing. I did not really

think that I would pg that month but bc I was having so many familiar

symptoms, I tested anyway. That being said, no it is not reccomended that

you test until AF is late (how late depending on the test-usually a day and

some say test with first morning urine if you plan to test that early).

Personally I know that if I were feeling symptoms before I was late, I would

test early again (bc it worked for me once) but not without the symptoms. It

is, however, a personal decision and you should do what you feel is right.

If it is pos, then you may feel one step closer. If it is neg, however, you

may still feel anxious and that you tested too early.

Good luck in your decision making,

Amy

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 1/5/2000 1:21:14 PM Eastern Standard Time,

ride7108@... writes:

<< Sonja expects AF on Sun

Jo-Ann is Weds

is a week from Fri

And I am a week from Sun >>

I am sending +++++++ vibes to you all....... It's kinda like the lottery...

someone's

gonna win!!! Not that it's a race or anything ! Well, I go into the RE on

Fri for a scan of my tubes, so let's hope that left ovary is ready! Maybe

next month, I'll be on the list!

OK ladies,

I think I'm correct below

Sonja expects AF on Sun

Jo-Ann is Weds

is a week from Fri

And I am a week from Sun

I'm sending ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ vibes to us all

Tara

Re: ttc

>

> Sonja and Tara -

>

> Well, I know how you feel. The waiting is horrible. Only 9 days to go for

> me. Is this a stupid questions or can you do a hpt before AF is late? or

> isn't it sensitive enough? I need instant gratification - I hate waiting.

>

> Hang in there girls.

>

>

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

,

I know that if AF is almost due it can detect a positive result. But

unless you are really pg, it's pretty much a waste of money to test

before she is due. I jumping on the bandwagon here, we did the OPK this

month and bd during the most critical times (hopefully). AF isn't due

for a week, so keep your fingers crossed for me too.

Take care,

Jo-Ann

P.S. I have hpt at home too, going to hold off until at least AF is

due, I hope - LOL!

Tara Correia wrote:

>

> ,

>

> Last month I did the hpt a week before AF was due. Since I wasn't pg, it

> was negative. But I know what you mean. I have one at home still and my

> SIL is bringing one by tonight (just in case I break down and test early).

> It's not recommended to test early. It clearly stated on the box (which I

> ignored) that it was sensitive enough to detect pg one day after AF is due.

> I am going to try to wait this month, but I may weaken.

>

> Well ladies it has to be one of us this month. I'm pulling for you both.

>

> Tara

>

> Re: ttc

>

> Sonja and Tara -

>

> Well, I know how you feel. The waiting is horrible. Only 9 days to go for

> me. Is this a stupid questions or can you do a hpt before AF is late? or

> isn't it sensitive enough? I need instant gratification - I hate waiting.

>

> Hang in there girls.

>

>

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Looking for educational tools for you kids?

> Find everything you need at SmarterKids.com

> http://click./1/645/2/_/26068/_/947094768

>

> -- Create a poll/survey for your group!

> -- /vote?listname=ectopicpregnancy & m=1

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Looking for educational tools for you kids?

> Find everything you need at SmarterKids.com

> http://click./1/645/2/_/26068/_/947095159

>

> eGroups.com Home: /group/ectopicpregnancy/

> - Simplifying group communications

[Guest guest]

OK ladies,

I think I'm correct below

Sonja expects AF on Sun

Jo-Ann is Weds

is a week from Fri

And I am a week from Sun

I'm sending ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ vibes to us all

Tara

Re: ttc

>

> Sonja and Tara -

>

> Well, I know how you feel. The waiting is horrible. Only 9 days to go for

> me. Is this a stupid questions or can you do a hpt before AF is late? or

> isn't it sensitive enough? I need instant gratification - I hate waiting.

>

> Hang in there girls.

>

>

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Looking for educational tools for you kids?

> Find everything you need at SmarterKids.com

> http://click./1/645/2/_/26068/_/947094768

>

> -- Create a poll/survey for your group!

> -- /vote?listname=ectopicpregnancy & m=1

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

Tara,

I am expecting AF tomorrow. We weren't supposed to be trying yet, but we

did. I was supposed to wait until after the results of my ultrasound which

I had on Mon. for my cyst. Anyway, the cyst is still the same size and the

technician made it sound like she isn't even sure it is a cyst. What else

could it be? I know she's not a doctor. Anyway, I started charting and we

did bd when I O last month so I am also hoping AF will not show. Add me to

the list.

++++++++++++(my contribution)

Dawn

Re: ttc

> >

> > Sonja and Tara -

> >

> > Well, I know how you feel. The waiting is horrible. Only 9 days to go

for

> > me. Is this a stupid questions or can you do a hpt before AF is late?

or

> > isn't it sensitive enough? I need instant gratification - I hate

waiting.

> >

> > Hang in there girls.

> >

> >

> >

> > ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> > Looking for educational tools for you kids?

> > Find everything you need at SmarterKids.com

> > http://click./1/645/2/_/26068/_/947094768

> >

> > -- Create a poll/survey for your group!

> > -- /vote?listname=ectopicpregnancy & m=1

> >

> > ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> > Looking for educational tools for you kids?

> > Find everything you need at SmarterKids.com

> > http://click./1/645/2/_/26068/_/947095159

> >

> > eGroups.com Home: /group/ectopicpregnancy/

> > - Simplifying group communications

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Toys, Books, Software. Save $10 on any order of $25 or more at

> SmarterKids.com. Hurry, offer expires 1/15/00.

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>

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>

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

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>

>

>

[Guest guest]

:

You can do the hpt before if you get one of the very sensitive ones, but I

would not trust the results even then until I had missed AF. I tend not to

trust hpt's ANYTIME since I personally have had very bad luck with them

(they say you can't get a false positive, but I have, as well as false

negatives). I know everyone is not this way though...there is a website

that tells which ones are the most sensitive - Krista may be able to give

you the address.

[Guest guest]

Pam:

Sounds like you have a great plan! How will you be taking the clomid? I

was scheduled to take 50 mg a day for days 5-11. I never had to do it

though, so I don't know if it would have helped me or not.

[Guest guest]

,

I am on 50 mg. I take it starting at day 3 for 5 days.

Thanks, Pam

----------

>

> To: ectopicpregnancyegroups

> Subject: Re: ttc

> Date: Wednesday, January 05, 2000 6:19 PM

>

> Pam:

>

> Sounds like you have a great plan! How will you be taking the clomid? I

> was scheduled to take 50 mg a day for days 5-11. I never had to do it

> though, so I don't know if it would have helped me or not.

>

>

>

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

Dawn,

good luck ! I truly hope that AF leaves us all alone this time round..

It will be so great if we can all be pg. this month, won't it? Let us

know if the old hag shows, or hopefully doesn't show tomorrow?

I will keep you in my thoughts.

take care

sonja

Re: ttc

Tara,

I am expecting AF tomorrow. We weren't supposed to be trying yet, but

we

did. I was supposed to wait until after the results of my ultrasound

which

I had on Mon. for my cyst. Anyway, the cyst is still the same size and

the

technician made it sound like she isn't even sure it is a cyst. What

else

could it be? I know she's not a doctor. Anyway, I started charting and

we

did bd when I O last month so I am also hoping AF will not show. Add me

to

the list.

++++++++++++(my contribution)

Dawn

Re: ttc

> >

> > Sonja and Tara -

> >

> > Well, I know how you feel. The waiting is horrible. Only 9 days to

go

for

> > me. Is this a stupid questions or can you do a hpt before AF is

late?

or

> > isn't it sensitive enough? I need instant gratification - I hate

waiting.

> >

> > Hang in there girls.

> >

> >

> >

> >

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> >

> >

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> >

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> > - Simplifying group communications

>

>

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>

>

>

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> http://click./1/332/2/_/26068/_/947096407

>

> -- Easily schedule meetings and events using the group calendar!

> -- /cal?listname=ectopicpregnancy & m=1

>

>

>

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http://click./1/646/2/_/26068/_/947104491

-- Check out your group's private Chat room

-- /ChatPage?listName=ectopicpregnancy & m=1