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The hair thing!

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WHAT is the deal with nadas and the KO's hair.

mine never let me cut or style my hair because she wanted me to have long hair.

I had

pretty hair as a child but it did not grow very fast. When I hit puberty I went

from having

fairly straight, slow growing corn silk blonde hair to wavy/curly darker blonde

hair with a

lot of natural color variation. It grew like weeds and got very thick too. I

definitely hit the

hair lottery. Nada loved my hair but seemed to hate that I got it instead of

her. Hers is

brown, coarse and wavy/curly.

One year when I came home to visit I had to call her and warn her... " Mom, this

is just to let

you know that I should be there in about two hours and that I have cut my hair

short. You

have two hours to mourn its loss and get over it because I do not want to have

to hear

about this for my whole trip. " LOL

Even my last trip home she was watching me dry my hair and did not like the way

it was

looking. Her comment was... " I hope that is not the was you are going to wear

your hair!

You look like a dog! Woof!. " It was a great moment though, because I made a

very

conscience decision to not be upset. I just stood there looking at her and

finally said " How

about you reserve judgement until I am actually finished styling my hair "

I really wonder what it is like to have no filter between what your mind thinks

and what

falls out of your mouth. She is her own worst enemy.

cspace67

> > > >

> > > > There is definitely nothing wrong with you or

> > your picture. Your

> > > nada

> > > > is jealous - pure and simple.

> > > > I can definitely relate to the hair thing -

> > I'm not blonde, but my

> > > > hair is naturally curly and thick. Nada was

> > always jealous of me

> > > > because of this (her hair is limp, straight, and

> > thin - always has

> > > > been). So, when I was younger she combed the h*ll

> > out of it to

> > make

> > > it

> > > > straight and she bound it up in too-tight

> > pigtails and ponytails

> > > > (which I hated). Then, as I got older, she

> > encouraged me to cut it

> > > > shorter and shorter until it was up around my

> > ears - not a good

> > > look,

> > > > but she insisted it was - probably because she

> > didn't have as much

> > > > hair to look at. Then, at some point, I realized

> > the hair

> > mistakes I

> > > > was making and let it grow long (and curly).

> > Sometimes I get

> > > > frustrated with it and want to cut it off, but I

> > know how annoyed

> > > nada

> > > > is with it, so I keep it the way it is (plus, dh

> > likes it

> > > better). :-)

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > > I was shooting some pics of myself for

> > a work thing... needed

> > a

> > > > > > headshot. I made the mistake of

> > sending it to Nada...

> > > > > >

> > > > > > " What is this for? "

> > > > > >

> > > > > > " Work: Print & Net "

> > > > > >

> > > > > > " You have too many shades of

> > blonde and your hair is too

> > > curly...

> > > > > you

> > > > > > look " dumb blonde " instead of

> > smart... Just being honest. "

> > > > > >

> > > > > > I'm silent...

> > > > > >

> > > > > > " Really, you look like you're

> > channeling ... "

> > > > > >

> > > > > > ...nicely said to a woman with a

> > lifetime of issues involving

> > > sex,

> > > > > > rape, abuse, never taken seriously

> > (depite pages / years of

> > > > > > credentials...) When did it become a

> > BAD THING to be cute &

> > > smart?

> > > > > >

> > > > > > I wanna cry.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Lynnette

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > ------------------------------------

> >

> > Problems? Ask our friendly List Manager for help at

> > @... SEND HER ANY POSTS THAT CONCERN YOU; DO

> > NOT Respond ON THE GROUP.

> >

> > To order the KO bible " Stop Walking on

> > Eggshells, " call 888-35-SHELL () for your

> > copy. We also refer to “Understanding the Borderline

> > Mother†(Lawson) and “Surviving the Borderline

> > Parent,†(Roth) which you can find at any bookstore.

> > Welcome to the WTO community!

> >

> > From Randi Kreger, Owner BPDCentral, WTO Online Community

> > and author SWOE and the SWOE Workbook.

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  • 4 weeks later...
Guest guest

Totally! I'd grown my hair long and it was pretty nice by the time I was

about 10. However, nada convinced me that it only looked good " pulled back "

in a pony tail. And so that's how I wore it always - and looked HORRIBLE.

But I figured wearing it down was worse, to hear her tell it. Actually, it

was beautiful. I was also shocked, seeing as how I wore bangs, that I had a

widow's peak (discovered it AS AN ADULT). I learned what one was when I was

about 8 or 9 but never checked my own hairline to see if I had one - BECAUSE

IT WAS CONSIDERED A SIGN OF BEAUTY [caps for emphasis only] and that of

course wouldn't happen to me.

Flowers in Oz

The hair thing!

WHAT is the deal with nadas and the KO's hair.

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Guest guest

>

> Totally! I'd grown my hair long and it was pretty nice by the time I was

> about 10. However, nada convinced me that it only looked good " pulled back "

> in a pony tail. And so that's how I wore it always - and looked HORRIBLE.

> But I figured wearing it down was worse, to hear her tell it. Actually, it

> was beautiful. I was also shocked, seeing as how I wore bangs, that I had a

> widow's peak (discovered it AS AN ADULT). I learned what one was when I was

> about 8 or 9 but never checked my own hairline to see if I had one - BECAUSE

> IT WAS CONSIDERED A SIGN OF BEAUTY [caps for emphasis only] and that of

> course wouldn't happen to me.

>

> Flowers in Oz

>

>

> The hair thing!

>

>

> WHAT is the deal with nadas and the KO's hair.

>

I'm a guy and my mom obsessed about my hair. In the eighties and nineties I was

in some hair bands and had long hair. It was my individuality and my mother

cried! She's hidden all pictures of me from that period (On second thought, I

think I should thank her!) But it isn't about sparing me the photographic

evidence of Bon Jovi hair, it's about control. She controls what pictures we see

of ourselves in this family. She's really just a fat, scared little woman who

never came to terms with her own abuse. Instead, she does the easier, yet

profoundly more painful thing, of passing her pain on to the rest of the family.

And you can't talk to her about it. She's always right and never apologizes.

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I'm leaning toward the idea that nadas who obsess with their children's hair to

the point of shearing it off without the child's consent are demonstrating

subconscious desires to:

1. stop their child from becoming sexually mature. Cutting long hair off short

is a kind of symbolic castration or de-sexualization. Nada becomes anxious and

fearful when their child shows signs of growing up, which means (to nada) that

she will be abandoned.

2. have total and absolute power over her child to the point of being able to

control parts of the child's body. " Mess with me, " nada is saying, " and I'll

cut something else off of you. Understand? "

Cutting off the hair has great ritual significance and meaning in many cultures,

and it has different meanings in different contexts, but from what I can tell

all of the ritual meanings have to do with either cleansing/purifying, or

sympolic de-sexualizing, or punishment.

In other words, having one's hair cut short or shaved off is not a reward, its a

sacrifice.

And I think this holds to the lesser degree of nada wanting to control the

child's hair style even if nada does not shear off the hair; its still the " I

have the right to control your body " thing, because in some cases nada is so

enmeshed with her child that nada sees no boundaries at all between herself and

her child. So its more like nada is thinking, " That hair is mine to do with as

I will. " thinking.

Its all effing creepy, any way you look at it.

-Annie

> >

> > Totally! I'd grown my hair long and it was pretty nice by the time I was

> > about 10. However, nada convinced me that it only looked good " pulled back "

> > in a pony tail. And so that's how I wore it always - and looked HORRIBLE.

> > But I figured wearing it down was worse, to hear her tell it. Actually, it

> > was beautiful. I was also shocked, seeing as how I wore bangs, that I had a

> > widow's peak (discovered it AS AN ADULT). I learned what one was when I was

> > about 8 or 9 but never checked my own hairline to see if I had one - BECAUSE

> > IT WAS CONSIDERED A SIGN OF BEAUTY [caps for emphasis only] and that of

> > course wouldn't happen to me.

> >

> > Flowers in Oz

> >

> >

> > The hair thing!

> >

> >

> > WHAT is the deal with nadas and the KO's hair.

> >

> I'm a guy and my mom obsessed about my hair. In the eighties and nineties I

was in some hair bands and had long hair. It was my individuality and my mother

cried! She's hidden all pictures of me from that period (On second thought, I

think I should thank her!) But it isn't about sparing me the photographic

evidence of Bon Jovi hair, it's about control. She controls what pictures we see

of ourselves in this family. She's really just a fat, scared little woman who

never came to terms with her own abuse. Instead, she does the easier, yet

profoundly more painful thing, of passing her pain on to the rest of the family.

> And you can't talk to her about it. She's always right and never apologizes.

>

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Oh, heavens, I just discovered this thread now! I was " shorn " when I was

five!!!!! Everyone thought I was a boy. It was so sad and awful. Oddly, my

mom cut all her hair off, too, so we both looked like fools. Oh, it's just too

strange. Apparently her reasoning was that I cried when she washed my hair (um,

soap in eyes anyone?).

--S.

> > >

> > > Totally! I'd grown my hair long and it was pretty nice by the time I was

> > > about 10. However, nada convinced me that it only looked good " pulled

back "

> > > in a pony tail. And so that's how I wore it always - and looked HORRIBLE.

> > > But I figured wearing it down was worse, to hear her tell it. Actually, it

> > > was beautiful. I was also shocked, seeing as how I wore bangs, that I had

a

> > > widow's peak (discovered it AS AN ADULT). I learned what one was when I

was

> > > about 8 or 9 but never checked my own hairline to see if I had one -

BECAUSE

> > > IT WAS CONSIDERED A SIGN OF BEAUTY [caps for emphasis only] and that of

> > > course wouldn't happen to me.

> > >

> > > Flowers in Oz

> > >

> > >

> > > The hair thing!

> > >

> > >

> > > WHAT is the deal with nadas and the KO's hair.

> > >

> > I'm a guy and my mom obsessed about my hair. In the eighties and nineties I

was in some hair bands and had long hair. It was my individuality and my mother

cried! She's hidden all pictures of me from that period (On second thought, I

think I should thank her!) But it isn't about sparing me the photographic

evidence of Bon Jovi hair, it's about control. She controls what pictures we see

of ourselves in this family. She's really just a fat, scared little woman who

never came to terms with her own abuse. Instead, she does the easier, yet

profoundly more painful thing, of passing her pain on to the rest of the family.

> > And you can't talk to her about it. She's always right and never apologizes.

> >

>

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Wow - once again, I thought it was just me, or that what happened was " normal " -

my mom told me I couldn't have long hair until I was " old enough to take care of

it " - meaning having it in a style she approved of. When I was little, it was

kept short, and she did those Toni home perms every summer - they were awful,

but I seem to recall the neighbor ladies doing the same thing to their little

girls. Later, in junior high, we had really bad versions of beehives. (You

know, maybe my mom wasn't the only crazy one - who on earth came up with the

idea of beehives??) But it was the 60's-70's, and I remember that hair was a

huge issue with almost all of us and our parents. There were a LOT of control

battles over it at the time.

So I remember my mom spending a lot of time carrying on about my hair, but it

was in the context of the " you'd be pretty IF you'd just... " litany I've heard

my whole life. It was also in the context of the era.

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My hair was ridculously long as a child.  I hated it.  It always seemed like the

only thing people ever noticed about me-- " Oh, you have such pretty hair " somehow

implies the rest of you is boring...it's like being told " You have such a pretty

face " if you're an overweight child.  What it really means is you're ugly, but

you do have one nice quality.  I hated it and I still hate it now if someone

says something like that.

It was too long for me to manage on my own and I have a hereditary weakness in

my arms anyway that makes things like braiding or putting my hair up more or

less feel like an hour at the gym doing bench-presses, so my bpd sibling was

stuck doing my hair, which made getting ready for school a painful, tearful

nightmare every day.  She's two years older, and it really is not fair to expect

an 8 year old to be able to deal with a 6 year old's waist-length hair.  It

really isn't.

When I was about 12, my mother finally took a pair of rusty scissors and chopped

it off to shoulder length in the lobby of the psychiatric ward of the hospital

where she was staying because my sister couldn't take it anymore.  I had no say

in this, and the haircut was, for obvious reasons, ragged and crooked and made

the following day at school rather embarrassing.  My sister finally straightened

it out, but I agree that it all comes down to control and to treating you like

an object who can be whacked and trimmed at will.

My bpd sister's child is now pulling out her own hair (she's two).  Maybe its

just coincidence, or maybe my sister has some kind of hair obsession as well...

Ashana

Add more friends to your messenger and enjoy! Go to

http://messenger.yahoo.com/invite/

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Ashana - Can I ask the obvious question - what was a patient in a Psych Ward

doing with a rusty pair of scissors? Near a 12-year-old? Good grief.

My mom's mother was a hairdresser,so my mom has always been convinced (through

heredity?) that she " knows " what style would look best on me (and everybody

else) and just how to cut it. So I have been dragged onto numerous decks and

patios to have really, really bad home haircuts (that always seemed to be

waaaaaay shorter than planned...) my whole life, until I was working and refused

her services, thanks very much anyway. She still criticizes my hairstyle,

color, makeup choices, shoes, clothes...and anything else she can pick on. That

part is the BPD - the bad haircuts are just a lack of skill, I think.

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