Guest guest Posted March 12, 2008 Report Share Posted March 12, 2008 Hi all, What does Nada stand for? I'm new here, not sure of the intro policy. Only recently, when I joined the BPD divorcing list, did I start to recognize BPD characteristics in my parents. WombDonor aka WD is more the histrionic type, Patriarch aka SD more the risk addict with abandonment issues. It had been clear to me for a while that both of my parents as well as my stbxH are pathalogical narcissists, but BPD explains a lot that NPD (w/which stbxH diagnosed himself, proudly) left out. About 8 years ago, I researched whether I could be BPD, b/c I couldn't figure out why I felt so out of control. (It hadn't occurred to me that it was possible I was truly being jerked around.) At least, that search led me to the Linehan workbook. No one had ever modeled " healthy " for me, so the tools and charts were a huge help. True BPDs probably don't just read the book, practice skills on their own a bit, hang a chart on saying no by the phone, and say Aha! So that's how it works! Halleluja! It's hard for me to accept that true BPDs are generally NOT interested in tips on improving their self- regulation skills. I've got a thick skull ... A few weeks ago, I received a letter from my mother. That was a surprise, since she only engages with difficult topics if she feels a need to make it clear she's in no way guilty, responsible, or otherwise negatively involved. Well, this letter is my final release. She was in SUCH fine form that I feel absolved of any responsibility to continue trying to understand her or communicate in ways she can understand. A similar letter from my father came in November. Now I'm trying to look at the effects of my parents' behavior on me. Not blaming them, but I've spent a lot of years " cleaning my side of the street, " not taking my own wounds seriously. Am glad I didn't cut my parents off fifteen years ago, b/c dealing with them as I've worked on myself has forced me to grow, provided a test of whether I'd really gotten stronger, but enough is enough. Re-reading Alice . M. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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