Introduction

[Guest guest]

Hello everyone. My name is . I'm a 32 year old mother of 4

(three of my own and a stepdaughter). I have had chronic back pain

for many reasons and from many injuries for about 10 years, I also

have frequent severe migraines. Included in my back problems is

advanced Degenerative Disc Disease. As off the last MRI I had the

back of a 50-60 year old woman (disc wise).

Because I have not had insurance for the last 4 years I have only

been on Lortab and muscle relaxers, enough to take the edge off the

back pain, but other than that there has been no relief.

Five years

ago, when I had insurance, I went to what was supposed to have been

one of the best spine institutes in the state(I live in Florida).

After many tests they told me that because of my age at the time and

because my back was bad on 3 levels (L4,L5,S1)that they could not do

surgery, it was too bad for it. They told my husband (fiance at the

time) that basically I would just have to be in pain the rest of my

life, it would never get better, only worse, and I would be in a

wheelchair within the next 5-10 years.

Because they were supposed to

be the best I was stupid and didn't ask for a second opinion. I

found out later, after the insurance was gone, that there are several

Dr's in the area that would have done the surgery. While I was there

they put me on a morphine patch, which didn't help the pain at all,

and they gave me the epidural injections. The first two went fine

but I only had a little relief and that was short lived, the third

one was horrible! I came out of the OR and woke up almost screaming

in pain. The Dr. brought me back in and knocked me out again and did

what I assume was another one. I couldn't get out of bed for almost

2 weeks after that one, it was so bad. That was the last one I got.

Shortly after that I lost my job from missing so much work going to

the Dr's and with that my insurance. It has gotten progressively

worse since then.

I just recently got insurance again and now it's time to

start all over. Xrays tomorrow, more MRI's, and then off to pain

management and the ortho. I find myself praying that someone will

finally be able to help me so that I can be a normal 32 year old, for

my husband and my kids. I am so tired of being in constant pain, not

only physically, but mentally and emotionally.

My family and

friends, and even my husband and kids, try to understand, but how can

they? They may have had a few days or even a few weeks of pain, but

nothing that was always there and there was never an end in sight.

I

feel like my poor kids are getting ripped off when it comes to a

mother and my husband, he tries, but he doesn't get it. He just

knows I'm always in pain and I never seem happy. I try to explain it

to him but I'm not sure that even helps.

Because none of this is

enough, I found a lump in my left breast 6 months ago. Of course I

had to wait until I had insurance to do anything about it. So now I

have to go to the breast cancer center and have surgery and get it

biopsied. Every female on my mother's side, minus her, has either

had or has died from breast cancer. I'm so terrified of it that I

can't even put it into words.

I don't have the strength left to keep

fighting the problems I already have, how will I ever find the

strength to beat that? I don't think I have it in me right now.

I

am so greatful that I found this group. After reading your posts for

the last few days since I joined, I finally feel like there really

are people who understand. Not just the " oh honey, I'm sorry, I know

what you're going through " when you know they have no clue, but

REALLY understand. Thank you for allowing me to join your group and

I so look forward to getting to know you all.

from FL