Re: Family ideas

[Guest guest]

Kathy A wrote:

> So, they have a plan - they want me to join a fitness center and lose

> weight (not a bad idea - exercise is good and I do need to drop

> forty!) in hopes and belief that this will bring me to a place where I

> can back off of the meds (less weight - less pain) and I'll be myself

> again. How can I possibly live with this pressure from them in my

> life? The very ones I need desperately to support me are the ones who

> are removing themselves from me further and adding more burdens on my

> already loaded back.

>

> Any thoughts are welcome. Prayers are especially welcome!!! Thanks

> for listening. I don't know what I'd do without you all here.

>

>

Kate,

I had gone through the same thing, my Mother died, my son graduated

high school, I was trying to hold on to my job, and I was trying to get

my pain under control. My work told me that I couldn't come back until

I could do my job but I was unable to do my job anymore.

Your family doesn't want to accept that you are not the same person

your were. There is no way that people with chronic pain can go back

to the athletic energetic people they were. Family seem to have to

blame something else. My dad and other family members have had a hard

time accepting that I will never be who I was and I have to have some

kind of pain relief to be able to

exist and it takes all the energy I have to do that.

I had to sit down and have a heart to heart with every one in my family

who wanted me to get up when I had to be off my feet to rest my back.

I told them I would try to listen to their ideas but they would try to

start helping me in the areas I need help so that I was not so

overburdened emotionally.

Try to acknowledge their point of view but let them know that you need

them to do things for you that you would know would help. I don't

know if this helps but I will pray for you and I hope it will be

better. Only you know what makes you feel better and just know you

are not alone. Bennie