Re: Re: Anger towards psychiatrist / Lawsuit issue

[Guest guest]

Hi Lynn, It is such a shame that all they are capable of is treating menopause like a disease. Have you had a consult with ? Since I've been taking the supplements she suggested for various other reasons, my lifelong severe menstrual cramps are getting better. Therefore my hormones must be getting balanced. Lynn wrote: - this is a great post. "would go to psychiatrists and cry abouthow tired, depressed, and miserable I was", I was only going throughperi-menopause for which these symptoms are fairly typical, buttesting "normal" for hormone levels in my gyn's office

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[Guest guest]

Hi , I am so glad to hear you on the list again. I guess your computer is still broken and it is difficult to write but I really do miss you. I am blessed to know you too. I am so blessed to be on this list with people I relate to who understand what we all have been through. Love,

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[Guest guest]

I ditto that. I to miss your posts . Thank heavens for you, , Kim, Casey, and everyone else who understands what it's like coming off these poisonous, damaging psychiatric drugs. I'm thankful to those who have made it to the end and are there to pave the way and encourage those of us still on this road to freedom. Hugs V. Skoog wrote: Hi , I am so glad to hear you on the list again. I guess your computer is still broken and it is difficult to write but I really do miss you. I am blessed to know you too. I am so blessed to be on this list with people I relate to who understand what we all have been through. Love, Yahoo! TravelFind great deals to the top 10 hottest destinations!

[Guest guest]

Dear ,

You said:

<<I just wanted to say how meaningful this post was for me right now.

I've been thinking a lot lately about personal responsibility and

how often I allow others to make important decisions for me.

Your message really shows your awareness of the part you played with

the medications and how you've begun to change and become more

empowered as a result. I think it's wonderful that you recognized

the importance of taking it slowly, learned when to disclose and

when not to, and focused on what you needed. >>

** I am of the belief that many people are in this situation with the

drugs because it provides exactly what they need -- experiences that call

upon them to be more self-caring and independent.

you said:

<<I am grappling with a lot of these issues right now too. It

sometimes feels like so many of my personal interactions are

deferential - with me frequently deferring to the other person. I am

noticing that I sometimes do this habitually, even when I don't feel

it.

I've been starting to take a hard look at how and why I do this and

how it has limited me in life. I can see that I was often looking

for someone else to guide me and that I feel very lacking in skills

for coping with difficult emotions and circumstances.>>

** Beautiful! This captures what has happened for many people here.

You said:

<<What's scary to me though, is that I'm starting to see that I did

have a power of sorts in being the " weak " or " sick " one, as long as

I sought out the kind of people who responded to that. People

coddled me, they didn't expect much of me, and as a result I was

often highly praised for even the smallest efforts. In a skewed

sort of way I was getting rewards from this behavior and also a lot

of attention. >>

** Exactly! In fact, people who are unwilling or not ready to look at

this often leave here in a huff. We don't coddle here at all so their

PERCEIVED needs are not met by the group.

I often end up in conversations with people telling them that if they are

feeling constantly disappointed that others haven't met their needs, it's a

pretty safe bet that those needs are needs that the person must fulfill

themselves. No one but you can fill those needs.

<<I really need that CBT class, lol. >>

** Heck, you may be running the CBT groups at this rate!

Another excellent, insightful post from . Thanks, !

Regards,

" Every science touches art at some points while

every art has its scientific side; the worst man

of science is he who is never an artist, and the

worst artist is he who is never a man of science. "

[Armand Trousseau]

[Guest guest]

Withdrawal_and_Recovery , , I read your posts all the time and sounds to me like your growing in heaps and bounds every week. Your working hard on self-improvement and challenges with your relationships - you deserve a gold medal for all your hard work and self-improvement. I encourage you to keep up the good work! Assertiveness is very difficult for me too. It's hard for me to stand up for myself. I'm learning and trying hard not to be a people-pleaser at my own expense. I struggle with fears of rejection and receiving

"vibes" of disapproval from people. It's all lies that I'm beginning to recognize that I tell myself, so I'm working on learning how to change my self talk into being more positive and empowering towards myself. Hugs V.

[Guest guest]

, I'm glad you've decided to be more assertive. However, I have

to address one thing you said.

<<i have just learned that people are going to take advantage of

you if you are not assertive. and they will not re-pay you for your

good deads. >>

The second part of this statement--about the good deeds--is not a

generalization you can make. This statement may be true of your

family, but it is not necessarily true of the world in general.

Everyone is not like your family (just like everyone is not like my

family).

This is a common mistake we humans make--we learn a certain way of

being from the family in which we grow up, and then we go around for

years believing that this way of being is a rule for how people are

and how the world works. We generalize based on our specific

experience.

I grew up in a family with a very pessimistic view of almost

everything. If anyone had an idea for something they wanted to do, my

father would come up with 153 reasons why the idea was doomed to

failure. I absorbed this, and I went out into my life believing that

this is the way people regarded all possibilities. Although it was

quite an unpleasant way to regard the world, it never occurred to me

that a person could regard things in any other way. In fact, I didn't

even think of this as a " way of regarding the world " --I simply thought

of it as the Truth. To me, it was how the world worked, period. It

was a given, like gravity. Imagine my surprise when I started

understanding it differently!

It took a long time and a lot of hard work to overcome that

conditioning--but oh, is my life better for it.

A major part of getting older and gaining more experience is learning

these kinds of things. The ways of thinking and being we learned from

our families are not AT ALL the " rules " by which all people operate in

the world. We can't know this until we've been out there observing

for quite a few years.....but I assure you, it is very true.

Your challenge in all of this is to learn to deal with your family

(and one viable way of dealing with them is to move out, BTW), in a

way that allows you to have some inner peace without becoming sour and

angry with all people. You have to remind yourself that these people

behave in a particular way--but not all people think or behave that

way.

So, to get back to your statement about good deeds: there are many

people out there who WILL reward you for your good deeds. The rewards

can come in many forms, but probably the most common one is that

people will appreciate who you are and what you do. They will feel

warmly toward you, and that will show in their behavior.

And even if people don't appear to appreciate your good deeds, you

will still be putting good energy out into the Universe. What you put

out comes back to you. You may have heard the statement " you reap

what you sow " . That's what I mean here. If you put out good energy,

you get good energy back. You might not get the good energy back in

the form you expect it to come in--for example, you might not get it

back in the form of your family being nice to you--but that doesn't

mean that you should stop doing good deeds altogether. You just have

to be realistic about your family.

I'm not saying you shouldn't be more assertive. It sounds like calmly

asserting your needs has been effective with your mother recently,

which is great! I just wanted to correct your generalization that

good deeds go unnoticed. While they may go unnoticed in your family

(though you may find that your new calm assertiveness will change a

lot of things), but they do not go unnoticed by all. No, you

shouldn't allow people to walk all over you--but genuine good deeds

are a powerful force in the Universe.

Hugs,

Kim

co-moderator

--

KIM DENISE FINE ART

www.Kim.com

[Guest guest]

Thanks for all the responses. I also have a pattern of looking to others for help and guidance, because I would get overwhelmed with all that I had to do myself. I have distress around people (specifically my family) not helping me. I also have had difficulty being assertive with providers. I feel anger towrds my psychiatrist and also with myself, because I know that my patterns of beating myself up for having "problems", discouragment, depression, and chronic fatigue made me turn to meds to help control my anxiety. I had a few books that gave suggestions on vitamins to take for different problems, including anxiety. I would try things, or I would feel overwhelmed with all the suggestions and then would forget about the books. So I need to forgive myself and have more compassion for myself that I wasn't able to do more. Also, internalized mental health

oppression was a significant factor. I tend to blame myself when I couldn't get my anxiety under control. People would blame me or judge me and I would internalize this and do this to myself. C Creel wrote: Dear , You said:<<I just wanted to say how meaningful this post was for me right now.I've been thinking a lot lately about personal responsibility andhow often I allow others to make important decisions for me.Your message really shows your awareness of the part you played withthe medications and how you've begun to change and become moreempowered as a result. I think it's wonderful that you recognizedthe importance of taking it slowly, learned when to disclose andwhen not to, and focused

on what you needed. >> ** I am of the belief that many people are in this situation with the drugs because it provides exactly what they need -- experiences that call upon them to be more self-caring and independent. you said:<<I am grappling with a lot of these issues right now too. Itsometimes feels like so many of my personal interactions aredeferential - with me frequently deferring to the other person. I amnoticing that I sometimes do this habitually, even when I don't feelit.I've been starting to take a hard look at how and why I do this andhow it has limited me in life. I can see that I was often lookingfor someone else to guide me and that I feel very lacking in skillsfor coping with difficult emotions and circumstances.>> ** Beautiful! This captures what has happened for many people here. You

said:<<What's scary to me though, is that I'm starting to see that I didhave a power of sorts in being the "weak" or "sick" one, as long asI sought out the kind of people who responded to that. Peoplecoddled me, they didn't expect much of me, and as a result I wasoften highly praised for even the smallest efforts. In a skewedsort of way I was getting rewards from this behavior and also a lotof attention. >> ** Exactly! In fact, people who are unwilling or not ready to look at this often leave here in a huff. We don't coddle here at all so their PERCEIVED needs are not met by the group. I often end up in conversations with people telling them that if they are feeling constantly disappointed that others haven't met their needs, it's a pretty safe bet that those needs are needs that the person must fulfill themselves. No one but you can

fill those needs.<<I really need that CBT class, lol. >> ** Heck, you may be running the CBT groups at this rate! Another excellent, insightful post from . Thanks, !Regards,"Every science touches art at some points whileevery art has its scientific side; the worst manof science is he who is never an artist, and theworst artist is he who is never a man of science."[Armand Trousseau]

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