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Accustomed to projection

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Happy New Year everyone! I had a very wierd experience this morning.

I awoke with one very lucid thought in my mind. My husband will

occasionally say things like " The house is a mess " (which is usually

true) or " We should take the kids to get their hair cut soon. " Both

non-accusatory statements, right? Except every time he'd say something

like that, I'd immediately feel awful. And for whatever reason, I woke

up this morning and realized that growing up with someone who was

always projecting on me, I had grown used to these types of statements

being jabs at me, off-handed statements about things that I should be

doing. In other words, if nada said " The house is a mess " , it

meant, " You better clean the house or else. " " We should take the kids

to get their hair cut soon, " would be interpreted as " YOU need to take

better care of the kids. " I realized this morning that I have been

internally processing these types of statements as personal attacks,

and although I certainly bear some responsibility for the upkeep of my

house and children, I need to better consider the intent behind these

statements. Anyone else with similar experiences?

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