Re: Hi I'm new (Kim)

[Guest guest]

Hi Kim,

Thanks for your post. There's a lot to discuss here. I'll try to be

brief and to the point. And I'll hit the Enter key if I find I'm

typing a large block

>

> I'm afraid I'm going to say what you don't want to hear. You have

to

> stop the sugar. There is no gradual withdrawal from sugar.

I totally agree, I need to be off sugar. I know how toxic it is to

my system. No arguments there, none at all.

All those detoxes I did were tough, and they got tougher as I went

along because I was putting my body through so much stress. I stuck

with them because I was determined.

Thanks for listening to what I said about my problems afterwards.

No, I didn't crave it. But I would find that the depression deepened

and I was absolutely desperate. My mood plummeted. I'd cry and cry.

I wouldn't want to play with my little girl, I wouldn't want to do

anything but sit in a chair all day and be sunk in misery. It really

is that severe a problem. The reason I'm not attempting another

detox at the moment is because if the first 20 times were like that,

why would the 21st be any different? Something needs to happen

first, maybe I need healing in some way. Like you say, maybe the

proper supplements in the proper amounts will help. Can we discuss

that?

> You said you went through the sugar detox several times and the

> cravings went away. This makes me wonder why you then found it

> impossible to stay away from it.

Because when I was feeling godawful, I knew relief was a chocolate

bar away. I did not want to do that to my body. But I cannot, simply

cannot, function in that state. Not only does my little girl see her

mummy totally messed up, but I then start thinking of suicide. Like

I said, I know I need to get off the sugar. I'm just stuck there and

I'm not sure why. Like I said to , my feeling is that my body

wants the serotonin boost from the sugar and chocolate. I could of

course be wrong about that but answers haven't been easy to find.

Do you have any other health

> issues? Do you take any other medications? Which medications are

you

> currently on? It would help to have all of your history in one

post.

I'm not taking any meds at the moment. Celexa was the only one. Also

the only liquids I drink are water and herbal tea, so no caffeine

and no liquid sugar from fruit juice or soda. No diet soda either.

>

>

> Take a look at the Basic Healing Protocol. These are the

supplements

> that form a foundation for our program.

I think I'm OK there, from what I could see. Though some people have

raised the issue of vitamin D, and I did a search here and found an

article recommending an intake of 25mcg. I think I'll go into the

village today and get some. I think my intake is about average,

considering my diet and other supplements, and there's very little

sun here to be had most of the time. So maybe a D supplement will

help.

>

>

> While you say you have been taking supplements and haven't seen an

> improvement, you haven't been taking the right ones in the right

> doses. Especially the fish oil. Heed 's advice on that

one, as

> he knows what is available in the UK. This is actually good

news. It

> means there is still lots of hope that supplements will help.

There are lots of discussions going on about fish oil here, on the

RR site, everywhere really. DHA. No DHA, pure EPA. Too little is

bad. Too much is bad. I'm not honestly sure how much I need, though

I believe that what I have is a little higher than a maintenance

dose. It's good quality EPA, just expensive. Do you think I need

more than 900mg of EPA a day? (That's the actual amount; the pills

themselves weigh 500mg and have vit E and evening primrose oil

added. I take 3.) The RR site suggests that you need more if you're

heavy, and I reckon I'm 240/240 lbs or so. I've blown up like a

balloon this winter with lack of exercise, illness, and sugar binges.

>

>

> About the tai chi class--you said you stopped going because it

didn't

> bring you pleasure. Right now, pleasure isn't the goal. Healing

is

> the goal. Tai chi is a very healing activity. If you can't go to

> class, get a video and do it at home. There are many solutions to

the

> problems we encounter along the way.

I've been thinking about looking on the internet, seeing if I can

find the instructions for the style I learned. There are some other

relaxation exercises that we learned which I do remember. I did them

the other day while standing in the sun and they felt wonderful. I'm

really lacking motivation there and it's hard to find quiet time to

myself with a toddler scampering around, but maybe I need to make an

extra effort here.

>

>

> If your life is curtailed by using the visor for so many hours a

day,

> perhaps the visor isn't working? Do you have improvement from it?

> Please include info about your light therapy use when you write

your

> history for us. I want to have a full picture to discuss with

> .

I've always adjusted the timing according to what I seem to need to

reset my body clock. Too little light and I get tired too early,

wake up too early, and I feel the effects the next day of a

maladjusted body clock -- fatigue, muddy-headedness, just a general

worsening of the depressive symptoms.

It seems to be a symptom of how I'm struggling at the moment,

needing 4 hours, and really it still isn't enough. Our weather has

been very dreary lately, not much sun to be had, and I'm on a 9pm-

5am sleep cycle at the moment, when my aim is really for 10pm-6am or

a little later. But I refuse to do more than 4 hours, that starts

getting seriously impractical.

Last year, round about May, I was able to get it down to half an

hour. I remember feeling pretty good. I did have to bump the time up

an hour when I stopped the Celexa; I was doing 3 hours on that.

I do have a big, standard 10,000 lux light box but it's impossible

to sit in front of it for 4 hours. I think it's probably a little

more effective than the visor, but the visor is definitely a help.

It's something like 2500 lux but the light is closer to the eyes, so

they reckon the treatment is about equal to 10,000 lux further away.

Before I got the sensory irritation from stopping Celexa, I found

the light soothing, and it was still a real relief to put the visor

on yesterday when it had been dark and rainy.

When I came back from Denver last autumn, I didn't do my light

therapy for a couple of days because I wanted to let my body clock

adjust. Very quickly, it was as if an icy numbness spread through my

body and brain. I had to sleep most of the time, I couldn't stay

awake. I could barely move or think. (Before the depression, jet lag

was never much trouble for me.) I believe this is the state I'd be

in without the light therapy. When I think about it, it makes me

frightened of what's lurking underneath -- just how bad a state I'd

be in without the light. I'd probably be in a mental hospital, I

think seriously I'd have to be, because I wouldn't be able to

function.

I'm sorry this is so long Kim. You say you want to give this info to

too. I suppose the more you know, the more informed you

and she will be in offering suggestions. I'm very grateful for the

time you're taking, and I'm glad I've found a place where I can get

the help I need. If I hadn't come here I'd probably be at the

doctor's asking for prozac, not knowing what else to do.

>

>

> Recovery isn't easy--we have many people here who can attest to

that.

> However, it's extremely rewarding--as even more people can attest

to.

> You can't do it without some hard work...but the work pays off.

Thanks It's good to have hope.

.