KAREN

[Guest guest]

KAREN,

STEVE REALLY NEEDS SOMETHING TO DO BEYOND SCHOOL, SOMETHING THAT WILL HELP

HIM FEEL GOOD ABOUT HIMSELF. HE IS ACTING OUT BECAUSE HE IS FEELING BAD

ABOUT HIMSELF, BECAUSE THOUGH HE KNOWS THESE KIDS ARE IN THE WRONG IN HIS

HEAD, IN HIS HEART HE IS WONDERING IF THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH HIM THAT

PEOPLE DON'T LIKE HIM. HE REALLY NEEDS A HOBBY TO HELP KEEP HIM EMOTIONALLY

ANCHORED.

YOU ALSO MIGHT WANT TO PUT UP A PUNCHING BAG FOR HIM TO BEAT OUT HIS

FRUTRATIONS ON. A HUNG UP ROLLED SLEEPING BAG WILL DO, OR TAKE HIM BOWLING

OR ON HIKES OR SOME OTHER ACTIVITY TO GET HIS PHYSICAL FRUSTRATIONS OUT. HE

IS BUILDING UP ADRENELIN AND OTHER CHEMICALS IN HIS BODY CAUSED BY THE

FIGHT-OR-FLIGHT RESPONSE AND THEY NEEDS TO BE RELEASED THROUGH ACTIVITY.

EVENTUALLY HE WILL BURN OUT HIS HEALTH IF THIS ISSUE IS NOT ADDRESSED.

I'LL BET HIS GRAN WAS HIS MENTOR. HE MAY FEEL THE NEED FOR APPROVAL, AND HE

IS STARTING THOSE TEEN YEARS WHERE PARENTS AREN'T 'IT'. IF HE HAS A FAVORITE

RELATIVE MAYBE THEY COULD BE PEN PALS WITH HIM. OR SEE IF HE WOULD LIKE TO

VOLUNTEER SOMEWHERE, LIKE AN ADOPT-A-GRANDPARENT PROGRAM. I WOULD BE HIS PEN

PAL IF YOU LIKE. YOU KNOW I WOULDN'T DO ANYTHING YOU WOULDN'T DISAPPROVE OF.

BUT HE NEEDS A 'FRIEND' TO MENTOR HIM, PREFERABLY SOMEONE ELDERLY OR SOMEONE

CLOSE TO HIS AGE IF POSSIBLE. A TEEN COUSIN WHO WOULD BE A BIG BROTHER WOULD

BE PERFECT, IF POSSIBLE. BUT HE REALLY IS HITTING THAT AGE WHERE PEER

PRESSURE IS EVERYTHING, AND HE NEEDS A MENTOR TO GET HIM THROUGH THIS

CRUNCH.

THE NEXT BEST THING IS TO IMPROVE YOUR OWN SELF-ESTEEM. KIDS LEARN BY

WATCHING. WITH THESE DDS IT CAN DEFINATELY CUT INTO OUR FEELINGS OF SELF

WORTH. IF YOU ARE WORRIED ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OF YOU, HE WILL BE

TOO, ETC. WHEN WE JOINED THE AMWAY BUS. THEY HAD US READ A LOT OF

SELF-ESTEEM BOOKS, AND MY SELF-VALUE WENT UP. SO DID MY DAUGHTER'S JUST BY

HER WATCHING ME, AND THIS WAS DURING HER 15-18 YEARS -- WHEN PARENTS ARE

PARTICULARILY SHUNNED. SO THOSE LITTLE THINGS YOU LIKE TO DO THAT MAKE YOU

FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF, DO THEM -- WITHOUT GUILT.

AND I KNOW THIS IS THE HARD PART, BUT DON'T TAKE HIS ANGER PERSONALLY. I

KNOW THAT'S EASIER SAID THAN DONE, FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE AS A PARENT, BOY

DO I KNOW. HANG IN THERE, HON. AND IF YOU NEED TO TALK, CALL ME. OK

{{{GENTLE HUGS}}}

DONI-MARIE

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