Depression lifting, I am back.

[Guest guest]

Dear Peggy: Thank you for your kind remarks, yes I realize they are well intended. I have dealt with severe depression as far back as I can remember (age 5) and at times it is so severe that I have found if I try to communicate with others during those really bad times, I do not help myself and often cause hurt that is hard to repair. When I am like that it doesnt help for others to tell me to just keep writing despite how I feel for past experience has shown me that by staying quiet for a while this will pass and I can get back quicker to a "normal" state. If I try to force myself to communicate then I just add to the problems that fuel my depression. While that may be hard for others to understand I have developed a way of handling this that has worked for me over the years. I do so much appreciate all the many many responses of caring that the members of this group have sent me either on the

group or privately. That does help me to know I am cared about despite my need to step back for a time to recuperate mentally. I feel the depression now starting to lift and hopefully should be doing ok for a time until the next "doom and gloom" black cloud of depression decides to descend upon me. I sure wish it would give me some notice, like maybe 10 years. LOL Thanks to all in this group for sticking it out with me and being patient. And Sher, you did not upset me, it was my depression descending and I did not realize it was coming on at the time. All is ok with between us. So, Ok, I am back, well until I go into the hospital that is, then I will be gone two weeks. Hugs to all, CarolynPeggy wrote: Hi Carolyn, Good grief can't you remember "WE ARE HERE FOR YOU..." You are free to express anything you want. If some don't like it they are free to delete it.. I think offending any of us should be the least of your worries. You ARE part of us. I will be praying for you the 19th. Just close your eyes and see the bubbling brook with you on a quilt laying back with your toes in the cool water. And all of us praying for you. Sounds good to me..Take care of you and BELIEVE surgery will go perfect. Love and Prayers, Peggy 9/04/ ipf Reply-To: Breathe-Support Date: Tue, 12 Dec 2006 09:30:28 -0800 (PST)To: Breathe-Support Subject: Going Into Hospital for

surgery To The Group:I just wanted to let you know that I am still alive and will be going to the hospital Dec. 19 for knee surgery. I will be gone at least two weeks. One week is for the surgery and one week for rehab. They are doing it with spinal anesthetic because with my lung condition I cant have general anesthetic. It will be a rough surgery for me to lay there listening to them work on me and having to stay in one position for hours. Sorry I have not posted but my depression is very bad right now and everything I type is negative and I end up deleting it. I am having trouble just getting out of bed and getting dressed much less being able to respond to the needs of others. I cannot focus well enough to be able to reply to others questions/concerns and while we all need support and encouragement, until I can manage that, I prefer to stay quiet and "do no harm".Thanks for

understanding,Carolyn