Does this happen to some of you?

[Guest guest]

Dear friends, as you may remember I lost my husband, Sherman, almost 7 months

ago. The last year and a half of his life was all declining day by day: he lost

a lot of weight, lost his voice, was unable to find the right words to express

himself, slept a lot, mostly on his back and with his mouth wide opened; his

face became expressionless, and in the last months his mouth was opened even

when awake.

This is the Sherman that comes to my memory every day. No matter how hard I try,

I can't remember that wonderful, happy, hard working, intelligent,

handsome, tender and even passionate person that was my companion. I look at

some pictures taken 10 years ago, but can't keep them in my memory. Most of the

times, the only face that comes to my mind is the one of his last hours -mouth

opened, eyes fixed, no expression. This is killing me.

Has any of you experienced the same thing? How do you overcome this after-effect

of LBD? It seems this horrible illness takes enough from us when we are caring

for our LO; it shouldn't keep taking after they are gone.

Any comments will be greatly appreciated. I love you all.

Raquel

[Guest guest]

Raquel, what you describe has made me sad for you. You so deserve to be able to

recall the better times with Sherman, the vibrant man you fell in love with,

much more easily. I suffered what you describe for about 3 months after losing

Mom and wondered if I would ever be able to remember her as she had been before

Lewy. Then memories went farther back, to her life in the nh, and after about 8

months I realized the painful memories had faded and I was remembering the whole

person, not just the needy one. Perhaps it was quicker for me as I was

remembering my mother, not husband and life partner. I was never her 24/7

caregiver but more, her weekly advocate. I so hope that with time your painful

memories will also fade and the Sherman you want to remember will surface for

you. For me the pain is gone after 2 years, sadness remains.

>

> Dear friends, as you may remember I lost my husband, Sherman, almost 7 months

ago. The last year and a half of his life was all declining day by day: he lost

a lot of weight, lost his voice, was unable to find the right words to express

himself, slept a lot, mostly on his back and with his mouth wide opened; his

face became expressionless, and in the last months his mouth was opened even

when awake.

> This is the Sherman that comes to my memory every day. No matter how hard I

try, I can't remember that wonderful, happy, hard working, intelligent,

handsome, tender and even passionate person that was my companion. I look at

some pictures taken 10 years ago, but can't keep them in my memory. Most of the

times, the only face that comes to my mind is the one of his last hours -mouth

opened, eyes fixed, no expression. This is killing me.

> Has any of you experienced the same thing? How do you overcome this

after-effect of LBD? It seems this horrible illness takes enough from us when we

are caring for our LO; it shouldn't keep taking after they are gone.

> Any comments will be greatly appreciated. I love you all.

> Raquel

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Raquel,

I am so sorry you are going through this. I do think it takes time to forget

those images. When I think of Mom, after 6 years, the first image that comes is

of her on her death bed. But the image is slowly fading around the edges to

less painful thoughts. Sometimes I just continue to look at pictures until I

remember the woman she was and not that last image that isn't very attractive.

But it is fading. I think it takes longer than 7 months. We caretake for much

longer than 7 months, and I think it just takes longer to fade out. I am not

sure it will ever go away completely.

Hugs,

Donna R

Caregiver for Mom for 3

years and 4th year in a nh.

(In MI)

She was almost 89 when she

died in '02. No dx other

than mine.

Does this happen to some of you?

Dear friends, as you may remember I lost my husband, Sherman, almost�7 months

ago. The last year and a half of his life was all declining day by day: he lost

a lot of weight, lost his voice,�was unable to find the right words to express

himself, slept a lot, mostly on his back and with his mouth wide opened; his

face became expressionless, and in�the last months his mouth was opened even

when awake.

This is the Sherman that comes to my memory every day. No matter how hard I try,

I can't remember that wonderful, happy, hard working, intelligent,

handsome,�tender and even passionate person that was my companion. I look at

some�pictures taken 10 years ago, but can't keep them in my memory. Most of

the times, the only face that comes to my mind is the one of his last hours

-mouth opened, eyes fixed, no expression. This is killing me.

Has any of you experienced the same thing? How do you overcome this after-effect

of LBD? It seems this horrible illness takes enough�from us when we are caring

for our LO; it shouldn't keep taking after they are gone.

Any comments will be greatly appreciated. I love you all.

Raquel

[Guest guest]

Hi Raquel,

I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this. I wanted to let you know

that you are not alone. I, too, am constantly invaded by images of dad's last

few moments. Out of the blue I will see him on the hospital bed, then rising

from the waist up struggling so hard to get that last breath with his face in

sheer agony. I'm seeing him now as I type and the tears are flowing. In fact,

the last time I made one of his favorite soups all I did was think of him and

cry my eyes out. I haven't made that soup in a while. Its been almost 2 years

now since dad passed.

I don't know how to stop it but I do try to force the image away and concentrate

on happier times or on something he said or did. If all else fails I just let

the tears flow.

I wish I could offer you sound advice but at the very least please know that you

are not alone. I hope that eventually LBD will lesson its hold on your memories

and the better times the two of you shared will come through.

Best,

Courage

Does this happen to some of you?

Dear friends, as you may remember I lost my husband, Sherman, almost 7 months

ago. The last year and a half of his life was all declining day by day: he lost

a lot of weight, lost his voice, was unable to find the right words to express

himself, slept a lot, mostly on his back and with his mouth wide opened; his

face became expressionless, and in the last months his mouth was opened even

when awake.

This is the Sherman that comes to my memory every day. No matter how hard I

try, I can't remember that wonderful, happy, hard working, intelligent,

handsome, tender and even passionate person that was my companion. I look at

some pictures taken 10 years ago, but can't keep them in my memory. Most of the

times, the only face that comes to my mind is the one of his last hours -mouth

opened, eyes fixed, no expression. This is killing me.

Has any of you experienced the same thing? How do you overcome this

after-effect of LBD? It seems this horrible illness takes enough from us when we

are caring for our LO; it shouldn't keep taking after they are gone.

Any comments will be greatly appreciated. I love you all.

Raquel

[Guest guest]

The way I remember the good times with Tim is to keep lots of good photos

around. I also listen to music we liked. When I start remembering the " later "

Tim I go look at the pictures. It's a case of retraining your mind. Allow

yourself to put a time limit on the bad times. For example 10 minutes then pick

up something that reminds you of good times and concentrate. It takes time but

it works

Take care

Sharon

>

> Dear friends, as you may remember I lost my husband, Sherman, almost 7 months

ago. The last year and a half of his life was all declining day by day: he lost

a lot of weight, lost his voice, was unable to find the right words to express

himself, slept a lot, mostly on his back and with his mouth wide opened; his

face became expressionless, and in the last months his mouth was opened even

when awake.

> This is the Sherman that comes to my memory every day. No matter how hard I

try, I can't remember that wonderful, happy, hard working, intelligent,

handsome, tender and even passionate person that was my companion. I look at

some pictures taken 10 years ago, but can't keep them in my memory. Most of the

times, the only face that comes to my mind is the one of his last hours -mouth

opened, eyes fixed, no expression. This is killing me.

> Has any of you experienced the same thing? How do you overcome this

after-effect of LBD? It seems this horrible illness takes enough from us when we

are caring for our LO; it shouldn't keep taking after they are gone.

> Any comments will be greatly appreciated. I love you all.

> Raquel

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

When the passing is still fresh on the mind, it's no wonder you're only reminded

of the Lewy days... but you will get the older memories back - the happy

memories...

My mom has been gone since 2006... I still think of her final time w/ LBD ...

but I've gone past that and remember all the other times as well... it just

takes some time...

> >

> > Dear friends, as you may remember I lost my husband, Sherman, almost 7

months ago. The last year and a half of his life was all declining day by day:

he lost a lot of weight, lost his voice, was unable to find the right words to

express himself, slept a lot, mostly on his back and with his mouth wide opened;

his face became expressionless, and in the last months his mouth was opened even

when awake.

> > This is the Sherman that comes to my memory every day. No matter how hard I

try, I can't remember that wonderful, happy, hard working, intelligent,

handsome, tender and even passionate person that was my companion. I look at

some pictures taken 10 years ago, but can't keep them in my memory. Most of the

times, the only face that comes to my mind is the one of his last hours -mouth

opened, eyes fixed, no expression. This is killing me.

> > Has any of you experienced the same thing? How do you overcome this

after-effect of LBD? It seems this horrible illness takes enough from us when we

are caring for our LO; it shouldn't keep taking after they are gone.

> > Any comments will be greatly appreciated. I love you all.

> > Raquel

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Raquel, though I don't have an answer to your question, I'm wondering if you or

anyone else in your family have videos of your husband. I'm hoping that can

help you. Also, try to think of some of the most wonderful times you had

together. Warmly, Norma

[Guest guest]

Raquel,

Sharon's suggestions are good ones. It takes a concentrated effort to remember

the good times, because you had to put so much into taking care of him when

things got bad. Also, if you have friends who will let you talk, especially

those who knew him well, ask them for time to share the memories. Then the two

of you start working back in your memory to talk about the memories before Lewy

Body. Make scrap books, put pictures on your computer as your screen saver and

the background on your computer desk top. Have them everywhere all over the

house. Play music that you and he enjoyed. Wear his favorite outfits. Get

some of his favorite " stuff " out. Go some of the places you and he used to go.

Even take a vacation to one of your favorite spots and relive those memories.

I do know what you are talking about, because I was ten when my dad had a

terrible motorcycle accident that caused head injuries and paralysis. He was in

a coma for months and was never able to speak in sentences again. My mom took

wonderful care of him every day for over two years before he died. For a long

time, although my younger brother had lots of good " before " memories, I couldn't

conjure up any of them. Here are the things I can remember now: He loved to

sit at the kitchen table and study his Sunday School lesson and clean his guns

-- sounds weird, but he was an expert marksman. He also had a beautiful tenor

voice, but not too high. Sometimes at church I can " hear " him when we are

singing certain songs. I can " hear " him playing certain songs on the piano. I

can " smell " his after shave. I can " see " how he filled out a tee shirt. I

remember his integrity, and how he helped anyone who needed help. I have copies

of some of his favorite music. I hope this helps. It will take a while and

will be hard work. Don't try to do it totally on your own. Find someone,

preferably several, that you can talk with.

G

> >

> > Dear friends, as you may remember I lost my husband, Sherman, almost 7

months ago. The last year and a half of his life was all declining day by day:

he lost a lot of weight, lost his voice, was unable to find the right words to

express himself, slept a lot, mostly on his back and with his mouth wide opened;

his face became expressionless, and in the last months his mouth was opened even

when awake.

> > This is the Sherman that comes to my memory every day. No matter how hard I

try, I can't remember that wonderful, happy, hard working, intelligent,

handsome, tender and even passionate person that was my companion. I look at

some pictures taken 10 years ago, but can't keep them in my memory. Most of the

times, the only face that comes to my mind is the one of his last hours -mouth

opened, eyes fixed, no expression. This is killing me.

> > Has any of you experienced the same thing? How do you overcome this

after-effect of LBD? It seems this horrible illness takes enough from us when we

are caring for our LO; it shouldn't keep taking after they are gone.

> > Any comments will be greatly appreciated. I love you all.

> > Raquel

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >