and All, re: siblings and expectations

[Guest guest]

, and anyone else out there with family members who are

falling short in the 'compassion and support' category...

I will start with a short story... My parents, now divorced 25

years, had a very rocky marriage. They were as opposite as people

get, my father being emotionally very reserved, and my mother being

emotionally larger-than-life. I remember after their divorce that

my mom said something about still being mad at my father that he

could never read her mind. (end of my short story.)

Folks, we have a huge responsibility here, and it's not to the LO

that we care for. It's to ourselves. It's hard enough to even

recognize our own needs at times like this, and it's even harder to

speak them to others.

We need to ask for help, set clear expectations, and not let others

assume that we have it all under control. And if that's not enough,

we might even need to jump up and down a bit to get their attention.

YOU DESERVE THEIR HELP. DO NOT ACCEPT LESS THAN YOU SHOULD!!!

Love,

> Sally

>

> Thanks for your kind thoughts regarding Unlce Colin. I know your

father was Colin and when I think of my uncle, some thoughts of you

and your father also come into mind. I remember Sandie showing me a

picture of your Dad, and being struck by how handsome, and proud, he

was. I bet he still is proud, especially of you and all that you

are and do for this group. You do his memory great justice.

>

> Regarding my siblings, I think what concerns me most is that they

don't include Mum in their plans. It is almost as if I am here so

she is taken care of so no worries. The problem with that is she so

enjoys seeing them, and although I am able to take care of her

physical needs, I feel as if I am inadequate so far as taking care

of her emotional needs.

>

> Last year I had a roster in place for my brothers and sister so

that they had to come and spend every fourth weekend with Mum. That

worked well in that it did mean they spent some time with her, and I

was able to get some weekend relief. The problem though was I felt

as if they only came because they felt obliged. I haven't made up a

roster this year, hoping I suppose that someone else might, and also

hoping that they would include her by arranging visits of their own

volition. This has not happened unfortunately, and maybe I need to

make up another roster so at least Mum feels loved.

>

> Thanks Sally for allowing me to express these thoughts. Hope

things are good with you.

>

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