Guest guest Posted March 8, 2004 Report Share Posted March 8, 2004 , My condolences on the loss of your husband. I hope you are blessed with memories of happier times. Lynn > Hello Group, > > My mother has LBD and mostly sits mutely watching TV. It is hard for her to > talk because the words won't come out right. She has a full time caregiver. > She is " not there " most of the time, but when I go to see her, she rises to the > occation and tries to be present. It really wears her out, so I don't stay too long. > When the doctor or psychiatrist tests her memory, re date, season, who is > president, etc. she can't answer any questions at all. > > My husband passed away on Thursday, 2/26 at home, after a long battle with > his heart. My sister (who lives next door to my mother) went over in the early > evening to tell Mom. I received a call from her caregiver that evening saying > Mom wanted to talk to me. She was VERY present and really concerned > about me. I assured her I was fine. Then on Saturday I had planned to see her > so she could see for herself I was okay. Before I left the house, the caregiver > called and said she again wanted to talk to me. I told her I was on my way > over. Well we had a short visit and again she was VERY present. She was > reassured about me and felt comfortable about retreating again. She has now > forgotten all about it. > > My point I want to make is, I will always tell her about anything significant. She > can deal with it if she chooses and not if she chooses. I feel that the LBD > patient comes and goes with being present. At least I will always give her this > opportunity. > > When my father died last year and we went to the hospital to disconnect him > from life support, we took my mother. She broke down crying and said " how > can they do this to my father. " She obviously stepped back in time and could > not deal with the present as being her husband. I feel good about having > involved her and she found her own way to step back from the pain. One > never knows what is going on in their head, but just in case, they need to be > given the opportunity to be included in our present life. > > Thanks for being there, > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 8, 2004 Report Share Posted March 8, 2004 How much this sounds like a description of my mother... Deb > Hello Group, > > My mother has LBD and mostly sits mutely watching TV. It is hard for her to > talk because the words won't come out right. She has a full time caregiver. > She is " not there " most of the time, but when I go to see her, she rises to the > occation and tries to be present. It really wears her out, so I don't stay too long. > When the doctor or psychiatrist tests her memory, re date, season, who is > president, etc. she can't answer any questions at all. > > My husband passed away on Thursday, 2/26 at home, after a long battle with > his heart. My sister (who lives next door to my mother) went over in the early > evening to tell Mom. I received a call from her caregiver that evening saying > Mom wanted to talk to me. She was VERY present and really concerned > about me. I assured her I was fine. Then on Saturday I had planned to see her > so she could see for herself I was okay. Before I left the house, the caregiver > called and said she again wanted to talk to me. I told her I was on my way > over. Well we had a short visit and again she was VERY present. She was > reassured about me and felt comfortable about retreating again. She has now > forgotten all about it. > > My point I want to make is, I will always tell her about anything significant. She > can deal with it if she chooses and not if she chooses. I feel that the LBD > patient comes and goes with being present. At least I will always give her this > opportunity. > > When my father died last year and we went to the hospital to disconnect him > from life support, we took my mother. She broke down crying and said " how > can they do this to my father. " She obviously stepped back in time and could > not deal with the present as being her husband. I feel good about having > involved her and she found her own way to step back from the pain. One > never knows what is going on in their head, but just in case, they need to be > given the opportunity to be included in our present life. > > Thanks for being there, > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 9, 2004 Report Share Posted March 9, 2004 Dear : My condolences on the passing of your husband. You are handling it so well. We are never ready to let go even if we have been expecting a passing for a long time. You also had to deal with your father's passing, my condolences as well. You have a kind and most respectful way to allow your mom to process the realities going on in your lives. I am glad she could be part of it, as far as she could handle it, and give you the support you both needed to share. You and your family are all in my prayers. Josie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 9, 2004 Report Share Posted March 9, 2004 , I believe you handled the death of your husband and the care of your mother in a very respectful way at a time when you probably did feel like falling apart. Please make sure you do take time to grieve. My condolences on the death of your husband. Kath Telling about death > Hello Group, > > My mother has LBD and mostly sits mutely watching TV. It is hard for her to > talk because the words won't come out right. She has a full time caregiver. > She is " not there " most of the time, but when I go to see her, she rises to the > occation and tries to be present. It really wears her out, so I don't stay too long. > When the doctor or psychiatrist tests her memory, re date, season, who is > president, etc. she can't answer any questions at all. > > My husband passed away on Thursday, 2/26 at home, after a long battle with > his heart. My sister (who lives next door to my mother) went over in the early > evening to tell Mom. I received a call from her caregiver that evening saying > Mom wanted to talk to me. She was VERY present and really concerned > about me. I assured her I was fine. Then on Saturday I had planned to see her > so she could see for herself I was okay. Before I left the house, the caregiver > called and said she again wanted to talk to me. I told her I was on my way > over. Well we had a short visit and again she was VERY present. She was > reassured about me and felt comfortable about retreating again. She has now > forgotten all about it. > > My point I want to make is, I will always tell her about anything significant. She > can deal with it if she chooses and not if she chooses. I feel that the LBD > patient comes and goes with being present. At least I will always give her this > opportunity. > > When my father died last year and we went to the hospital to disconnect him > from life support, we took my mother. She broke down crying and said " how > can they do this to my father. " She obviously stepped back in time and could > not deal with the present as being her husband. I feel good about having > involved her and she found her own way to step back from the pain. One > never knows what is going on in their head, but just in case, they need to be > given the opportunity to be included in our present life. > > Thanks for being there, > > > > > > Welcome to LBDcaregivers. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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