Funny Nada Stories

[Guest guest]

told a Nada story (indignant Nada stalks off down the street

and " wipes out " ) that made her laugh. It made me laugh, too, and it

occurred to me that seeing the humour in BP behaviour is a good

indicator of detachment. And then said something about her

Nada ruining her wedding and that reminded me of the story of my Nada

at my wedding, which makes me laugh a lot (and occasionally cry a

little).

An important bit of context is that she was hugely threatened by any

relationship I ever had with anybody other than her, so whichever guy

I was dating was always the Antichrist to her, until we split up at

which point he became a Saint in her mind...since he had " given me

back " to her.

My whole life Nada always said: " When you get married, I don't

want anything to do with the planning. I just want to be invited as

a guest. " Well, even at the ripe old age of 31, when I finally did

get married, I foolishly believed this and acted on it. And she was

FURIOUS! She went all witchy with icy cold rage because SHE wasn't

getting to plan the wedding (she wasn't paying, either), and was

horrible to me the whole time, which really upset DH, who had not

really met the Witch before that time.

So, the day comes, and at the reception as soon as she arrives she

proceeds to walk around loudly telling everyone she could corner how

much she would have preferred it had I married , my previous BF,

rather than (DH, then and now). Now, it was a small wedding

(75 people), so this was overheard not only by but by ,

with whom I was still friends, and who had flown a very long way at

great expense and inconvenience to be there for me. (He's still a

friend, a classy guy but just too extraverted to be possible life-

mate for me.) Poor was very embarrassed, but and I just

ignored her (she forced me to learn a lot about detachment around

then!) and had a good time.

Oh, and my " wedding gift " was her losing 75 pounds for the wedding,

which she couldn't understand my not being more grateful for. After

all, her walking around insulting DH in a size 12 dress instead of a

size 20 made SUCH a big difference to my day...

Then, a few weeks later, she calls me up all tearful, and says that

it's been a terrible weight on her mind ever since the wedding,

because she can't understand why didn't dance with her. (There

were no " special dances " except the first dance with and me,

btw, so it's not like he pointedly snubbed her. In fact he was

amazingly nice to her, considering, and having two left feet hardly

danced with anybody except me anyway.) She had ABSOLUTELY no clue.

I called him up and told him this, and we were both hysterical. And

being able to laugh at her was a big turning-point for me.

BP behaviour is usually anything but funny, but let's face, sometimes

it's ridiculous. One of the things has done for me is help me

find a state of mind where I can laugh at Nada's ridiculous antics

without disrepecting my own pain from her horrible abuse. He gave

me HIS perspective, from which she was truly laughable much of the

time. BTW he had a truly good mother, who was always good to me,

too. Yet, he has always believed and honoured my painful memories,

but he DOES do a good job of using humour to swat my fleas when

necessary.

So, it was a huge gift to be able to laugh at Nada, and especially

not to be alone while doing so. Of course, this is only one of the

reasons that he's the best husband on the planet :-)

Hugs to all,