Re: Funny Nada Stories

[Guest guest]

<< BP behaviour is usually anything but funny, but let's face, sometimes

it's ridiculous. >>

Yo Other KOs,

Otay, you asked for it. <wink, wink>.

Nada bought a new car once. She thought the dealer had shorted her on the

insurance or something. Hubby and I met her at the dealer's and just before she

went in at the last minute stated flat out that she was going to have one of

her temper tantrums. (So, she does know). So we went in and she absolutely

tore the dealer's jugular out. He tried to calm her, the owner came flying in

the room and tried to calm her. Owner and dealer tried to go over the figures

with her in a calm manner but she insisted that he had cheated her. (The

owner was right because we went over the figures later with him). Now, at the

time my husband was a police officer. (He is a retired uniformed officer and is

now a Crime Scene Investigator). He was off-duty, (not in uniform, but with

a gun and badge), but he had to resort to pulling out his badge and flashing

it to quiet the uproar. She grabbed at the dealer and my husband had to resort

from being a son-in-law to almost arresting her.

I always thought my nada would make a good siren or the 'whoop whoop' atop

the squad car. Just strap her up there by the light bar have her hold on and

the officer could pull on her hand when she rages if they needed the 'whoop

whoop'. It would certainly save the tax payers some money. <throwing head back

howling with cross-eyed, tongue-hanging, glee look>

Rita

" And she'll have fun, fun, fun 'till her daddy takes the keyboard away " .

[Guest guest]

! Have you read UBM yet? Somewhere in the Queen chapter it

explores how Nada's will often destroy her daughter's wedding. My

Nada was definitely the Tazmanian-borderline control freak Queen with

my first wedding, and didn't show up for my re-marriage in August

because the thought of her daughter marrying outside the Catholic

Church " make my hands shake so badly I can't even drive! " (which was

the best for everyone because just the sight of her would have given

me diarrhea -- sorry to be gross, but ya know....).

So , did she gain the weight back after the wedding? They have

to be the star don't they.

Blessings,

..

> told a Nada story (indignant Nada stalks off down the street

> and " wipes out " ) that made her laugh. It made me laugh, too, and

it

> occurred to me that seeing the humour in BP behaviour is a good

> indicator of detachment. And then said something about her

> Nada ruining her wedding and that reminded me of the story of my

Nada

> at my wedding, which makes me laugh a lot (and occasionally cry a

> little).

>

> An important bit of context is that she was hugely threatened by

any

> relationship I ever had with anybody other than her, so whichever

guy

> I was dating was always the Antichrist to her, until we split up at

> which point he became a Saint in her mind...since he had " given me

> back " to her.

>

> My whole life Nada always said: " When you get married, I don't

> want anything to do with the planning. I just want to be invited

as

> a guest. " Well, even at the ripe old age of 31, when I finally did

> get married, I foolishly believed this and acted on it. And she

was

> FURIOUS! She went all witchy with icy cold rage because SHE wasn't

> getting to plan the wedding (she wasn't paying, either), and was

> horrible to me the whole time, which really upset DH, who had not

> really met the Witch before that time.

>

> So, the day comes, and at the reception as soon as she arrives she

> proceeds to walk around loudly telling everyone she could corner

how

> much she would have preferred it had I married , my previous

BF,

> rather than (DH, then and now). Now, it was a small wedding

> (75 people), so this was overheard not only by but by ,

> with whom I was still friends, and who had flown a very long way at

> great expense and inconvenience to be there for me. (He's still a

> friend, a classy guy but just too extraverted to be possible life-

> mate for me.) Poor was very embarrassed, but and I just

> ignored her (she forced me to learn a lot about detachment around

> then!) and had a good time.

>

> Oh, and my " wedding gift " was her losing 75 pounds for the

wedding,

> which she couldn't understand my not being more grateful for.

After

> all, her walking around insulting DH in a size 12 dress instead of

a

> size 20 made SUCH a big difference to my day...

>

> Then, a few weeks later, she calls me up all tearful, and says that

> it's been a terrible weight on her mind ever since the wedding,

> because she can't understand why didn't dance with her.

(There

> were no " special dances " except the first dance with and me,

> btw, so it's not like he pointedly snubbed her. In fact he was

> amazingly nice to her, considering, and having two left feet hardly

> danced with anybody except me anyway.) She had ABSOLUTELY no

clue.

> I called him up and told him this, and we were both hysterical.

And

> being able to laugh at her was a big turning-point for me.

>

> BP behaviour is usually anything but funny, but let's face,

sometimes

> it's ridiculous. One of the things has done for me is help

me

> find a state of mind where I can laugh at Nada's ridiculous antics

> without disrepecting my own pain from her horrible abuse. He gave

> me HIS perspective, from which she was truly laughable much of the

> time. BTW he had a truly good mother, who was always good to me,

> too. Yet, he has always believed and honoured my painful memories,

> but he DOES do a good job of using humour to swat my fleas when

> necessary.

>

> So, it was a huge gift to be able to laugh at Nada, and especially

> not to be alone while doing so. Of course, this is only one of the

> reasons that he's the best husband on the planet :-)

>

> Hugs to all,

>

[Guest guest]

> So , did she gain the weight back after the wedding? They

have

> to be the star don't they.

>

> Blessings,

>

The weight thing... well this isn't really at all funny, so I don't

know why I'm going to post it. I guess I just found it funny as in

crazy rather than funny ha-ha. After months of drug use, during

which time my mother rarely ate or slept, she had gone from size 20

to an 8. I have had a weight problem for a few years, and I am size

18. Anyway, she was all down and depressed and told me it's because

she was fat. Size 8. I actually got irritated with her (I normally

just keep my mouth shut and was stone-faced-- started this at age 17

and found it quite effective). So I made myself cry and told her how

bad she made me feel because she was " so skinny " and blah blah blah.

I actually didn't care, I just wanted her to get off the weight

thing.

So yeah, not funny, but just an example of how out there these people

can be.

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I've read UBM, but it wasn't published until just after my Nada

died.

Of COURSE she gained back the weight...faster than I would have

thought possible. And when she got really broad across the beam

again (she had the largest backside I've ever seen on a woman that

short), started hassling me about MY weight, even though I was both

taller and lighter than her. (Admittedly, I'm a big girl, but not in

her class.)

According to " family folklore " , my Nada ruined her first wedding when

she was 5. This was back in the " old country " (Western Ukraine), and

the groom was one of my grandfather's apprentices, who apparently

had, foolishly, been nice to his boss's little girl, and flattered

her about how pretty she was or some such. Nada was one of the

bride's attendants (not exactly a flower girl, but roughly

equivalent), and when the ceremony got going, I guess she realized

what was happening, and started screaming and kicking the bride in

the shins, because she had decided that the groom was supposed to

wait for Nada to grow up and marry HER! Apparently the bride was so

upset she almost ran off, and was black and blue for weeks.

Best,

> ! Have you read UBM yet? Somewhere in the Queen chapter it

> explores how Nada's will often destroy her daughter's wedding. My

> Nada was definitely the Tazmanian-borderline control freak Queen

<<snip>>

> So , did she gain the weight back after the wedding? They

have

> to be the star don't they.

<<snip>>