Re: OT-Adoption

[Guest guest]

Elle,

We already took the PRIDE training in Washington and have been told that it

transfers here. I will have to renew my CPR card. We have already talked with

families who have adopted older children and sibling groups. I think that I

am more prepared for it than Tom, but he is certainly willing, interested, and

making the effort to be informed and prepared.

My parents had foster children for most of my growing up years. The laws

about how long a parent has for working towards reunification didn't change

until 1994 or so, which is when my mom had her last few boys. But several of my

foster brothers and sisters were long term, or permanent. I also still have

long-distance relationships with some. The baggage that they carry from their

pasts can be quite heavy and hard to overcome. Tom came from a small,

conservative family, so even with prepping him, it will be an adjustment.

Having

his background in Social Work is helpful, though he has mainly worked with

mentally ill adults. Big difference there!

I have discussed adopting with pretty much everyone and children have always

been in the plan of things. I will have to build more local connections with

families, which is more difficult when you don't have one yourself. But for

other references I have friends from the last 25 years or so, which have

jointly given me 7 lovely godchildren (the oldest gave me a great-goddaughter

last

week!).

I expect issues to arise and special needs. We have discussed all the

various avenues of adoption, and this just seems to make the most sense for us.

My

background with children with various and special needs, and Tom's love of

always wanting to help those who need it most really pull us in this direction.

The children who are privately adopted are always sought after and there are

so many couples that want them. Babies are wonderful, but we both realize

that the older children,particularly sibling groups have a much harder time

being placed together. We want a family, not just a child. These children need

parents, not to be separated from one another. We are also open to the needs

of the extended families. The Oregon website not only lists what children are

legally free (or not) but if there is extend family, such as grandparents

that wish to still keep in contact. It may be stickier, but so much better if

they can retain some part of their past, as long as it doesn't hurt them.

I still have a couple of friends that think I am nuts and are urging me to

try fertility treatments again. Or, go through private adoption and have a

smaller chance of prenatal drug influences. But, I really think that this is the

right path for us. YES! I will hit you up for more info and advice when the

time comes. Right now we are in a holding pattern because we are still

getting established in the area (read: living with my mother) and haven't gotten

a

house yet. But, with the jobs we have we will be there within a year. I am

actually working and extra senior care job on the weekends right now because we

want to pay down bills faster (Tom's care went kaput, so had to get another

one) and to save up for a decent deposit on a home. Once we get that out of

the way I can go back to just my 1/2 time work, which I am loving. The

schedule would work out great for having a family.

Thanks for the encouragement, Elle. I agree that it is a lot of work, but I

know that for me it is what I want to do and feel a magnetic pull towards. I

can't imagine life any other way. In fact, these last few years up in the NW

without the classroom and the nieces, nephews, and godchildren continually

staying at my house has put me in serious withdraws. I miss the laugher and the

fun. I also miss the serious talks and the quiet moments. I can't say that I

miss the tantrums and the crying over having fish sticks instead of chicken

nuggets (or who gets the blue cup and who gets the green one ), but that is

part of the package, so it is fine!

Congratulations, Elle!

in OR