Guest guest Posted November 4, 2003 Report Share Posted November 4, 2003 dear mona, thank you for responding. i am new to the group and so it is very likely that we have not met before. my situation can cause me lots of fears and worries. not having the medical insurance makes me think twice about if it is necessary to see a Dr. so a lot of thoughts are going through my mind. with the work i am doing surprisingly fine. i have been doing the work for a little over 2 month now and so i am still new and often surprised at how good it works for me. i am very grateful for having this tool and using it (right away after finding out the news) was the best thing i could have done. so yes i am fine. at this moment. the reason why i wrote my letter is becuase i feel that there may be certain things.... words maybe..... understandings, that i am not familiar with since i am still new and have only read the book and listened to the audio version of the book. i have not heard katie speak about sickness. i have been blessed with 3 wonderful healthy children and medical insurance was just something we never needed. i almost feel as if i am balancing on a slim line and i just know i could easily fall off to one side and lose myself in fears. i guess what i am asking for is something to hold on to. something to remember when i can tell that i am beginning to fall. love, andrea Understanding Hi , I don't think I've *met* you here in the group before now. Hi. My name is Mona. From the post that you wrote, I hear that your son had a seizure. He's at home with you. He's fine. You don't have medical insurance. You're fine. You would appreciate more understanding. What would you like to understand better or more? If you're confused about any of the above situations you may want to look at them individually and think about what each one means to you. For example: I don't have medical insurance and that means... Then bring what you wrote after *that means* to inquiry as its own judgment. Love, Mona > dear LWI group > i just received a call from my sons school (he is 14) and they told me that he had a seizure. he is already back home and he is doing fine. we don't have mediacl insurance so there is besides the health issue a financial issue here. i did the work on this and i guess i am fine. but if anyone can think of something that could give me some more understanding. it would be highly appreciated > thanks > love, andrea > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 4, 2003 Report Share Posted November 4, 2003 > i guess what i am asking for is something to hold on to. something to remember when i can tell that i am beginning to fall. Hi , It sounds to me like you know the perfect thing to remember when you think that you are beginning to fall: the four questions and the turnarounds! And if you have the thought that you're beginning to fall, you might bring that thought to inquiry, also. Is it true that you're beginning to fall? How do you react when you think the thought that you're beginning to fall? Who would you be without the thought that you're beginning to fall? It's nice to *meet* you, . Love, Mona Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 5, 2003 Report Share Posted November 5, 2003 thanks mona. and here is my work on this: i need my children to be healthy and it seems so true right now, it seems as if my life depended on it. can i absolutly know that it is true? no. when i go a bit deeper, i know i don't need this. just as i don't need me to be healthy, to live or survive. i WANT my kids to be healthy and when i go deeper then that, i know it is my ego that wants my kids to be healthy. and i want them to be healthy so i can be OK. how do i feel when i think that thought? desperate. i feel fearful, things can happen anytime, all the time. i feel i need to protect them but at the same time i realize i can't do that. i want to cry. i feel ashamed for my bad-mother days and moments. who am i without the thought? i am fine. relaxed. i love my children healthy or sick. i do what is infront of me. and it does not really matter if this means i clean the house or i hold a sick child. i am here doing what needs to be done. i let go of my desire to control reality. or to suggest what should or should not happen. i let reality do its work and stay in the knowing that everything is fine. turn arounds: i need me to be healthy i need my thinking to be healthy i don't need my kids to be healthy (true) i don't need anything (truer) love, andrea Re: Understanding > i guess what i am asking for is something to hold on to. something to remember when i can tell that i am beginning to fall. Hi , It sounds to me like you know the perfect thing to remember when you think that you are beginning to fall: the four questions and the turnarounds! And if you have the thought that you're beginning to fall, you might bring that thought to inquiry, also. Is it true that you're beginning to fall? How do you react when you think the thought that you're beginning to fall? Who would you be without the thought that you're beginning to fall? It's nice to *meet* you, . Love, Mona Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 5, 2003 Report Share Posted November 5, 2003 > thanks mona. > and here is my work on this: > > i need my children to be healthy Thank you for your inquiry, . The thought appears now: A healthier body means a happier life. Is that true? What proof do you have? I actually don't have proof. When my body felt physically fit and fine a few years ago, I wasn't very happy actually. I had an apparently healthy body and not happiness overall. So you're taking a complete guess on this one and you're basing your happiness on a possibility. A wondering. An uninvestigated thought. An *i have no proof but it sounds pretty good* kind of thing? Yeah, I've been doing that. Silly, eh? Well, thought appears and it gets attached to. It's all ok. Thank you for noticing that. So let's take a look at how you react when you think that a healthier body means a happier life. I treat my body like everything rides on it. I put huge responsibility on this simple looking object. I blame it. I feel a victim to it when it hurts. I resent my environment for triggering the body's reactions. I expect a great deal out of it. I get mad at it when it doesn't do what I want. Can you imagine? It's like getting mad at a tree for having too much bark on it? It's so absurd! Who would you be without the thought that a healthier body means a happier life? Happy in life right now. Grateful for this body I see when I look down. Not so presumptuous to think I know what's going on inside it. Not playing God and deciding what is healthy and what isn't. Getting to be happy now instead of later. Not dependent on something else for my happiness. Looking at reality -- which is that I have no proof! TA> A healthier body does not mean a happier life. That seemed to be my experience. TA> A sicker body means a happier life. I have noticed where happiness has come while I'm in this *sick* body. Definitely. TA> Healthier thinking means a happier life. TA> A healthier body means an unhappy life. I noticed that often. I might ask some people who seem to have healthy bodies and ask them if it brings them happy lives. Interesting experiment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 5, 2003 Report Share Posted November 5, 2003 Using the work... The topic of needing health, or the meaning of health etc has really helped me to understand how I have used the work to STAY in story. When legal matters present themselves, I get a lawyer. If my kid has seizures I see a doctor. I am not the expert, I leave that to the " experts " . Burgled----police Education---teacher toothache---dentist broken bone--- orthopedist being clear---me If then the issue is medical insurance... That thought is my work. My child's health is not my work. That belongs to those who know. I do not own my kids body, I do not have access in my home to MRI's, CT scans, etc. I can say that it not my path, but for me, it is my path to stay in my integrity. What is the worst that could happen? They could ask for money that I do not have. Oh well. A child will be treated-- the parents do not have money. If I see a drowning child, I will bend over and pick it up with clarity not because I think " it shouldn't drown " . I just bend over and reach. If I have a kid with seizures I see a doctor who can do their job. If I see a snake who bites I will not walk up to it and " be nice " hoping it won't do its job. I get it. It does what it does. How nice that there are so many ways to notice. The work is not to condone or to learn to " live with my story " . I get it. This was my issue last week and it is becoming clear.... whew... April Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 5, 2003 Report Share Posted November 5, 2003 THANKS Mona, Dear April, Mona interesting thoughts. i still wonder if i would not be able to enjoy happiness more if i was healthy on top of having a clear mind? i have no clue. it sounds as if i am trying to connect the two, when there is no connection. there is a clear mind and joy because of it there is a healthy body and joy there or not i can be healthy and happy and unhealthy and happy....... can i be clear and unhappy? i am unclear right now and unhappy. Apri, thanks for helping me with this by posting your houghts on this. this has been a strange day. my son does not want to see a Dr. he did not even want to come home from school. he felt he was fine and does not want to make a big deal of this. it is his body. it is his business. my job is to provide for him. to offer him a visit with an expert. if he chooses not to go, what then? it is his body. it is his business. it is his body. it is his business. and i remember i heard someone say " those are your children and your children are your business " . when does it stop..... what age do we let go. when do we let them make their own decisions, on soemthing like that? so much work to do to get clear again. thanks for your assistance love, andrea -- re: Understanding > thanks mona. > and here is my work on this: > > i need my children to be healthy Thank you for your inquiry, . The thought appears now: A healthier body means a happier life. Is that true? What proof do you have? I actually don't have proof. When my body felt physically fit and fine a few years ago, I wasn't very happy actually. I had an apparently healthy body and not happiness overall. So you're taking a complete guess on this one and you're basing your happiness on a possibility. A wondering. An uninvestigated thought. An *i have no proof but it sounds pretty good* kind of thing? Yeah, I've been doing that. Silly, eh? Well, thought appears and it gets attached to. It's all ok. Thank you for noticing that. So let's take a look at how you react when you think that a healthier body means a happier life. I treat my body like everything rides on it. I put huge responsibility on this simple looking object. I blame it. I feel a victim to it when it hurts. I resent my environment for triggering the body's reactions. I expect a great deal out of it. I get mad at it when it doesn't do what I want. Can you imagine? It's like getting mad at a tree for having too much bark on it? It's so absurd! Who would you be without the thought that a healthier body means a happier life? Happy in life right now. Grateful for this body I see when I look down. Not so presumptuous to think I know what's going on inside it. Not playing God and deciding what is healthy and what isn't. Getting to be happy now instead of later. Not dependent on something else for my happiness. Looking at reality -- which is that I have no proof! TA> A healthier body does not mean a happier life. That seemed to be my experience. TA> A sicker body means a happier life. I have noticed where happiness has come while I'm in this *sick* body. Definitely. TA> Healthier thinking means a happier life. TA> A healthier body means an unhappy life. I noticed that often. I might ask some people who seem to have healthy bodies and ask them if it brings them happy lives. Interesting experiment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 5, 2003 Report Share Posted November 5, 2003 , It would appear that your son knows what he wants! If I want something different then I do what I do. I finally get that. My husband wants all kinds of things and while I dearly would like to see him happy and certainly not at my door unhappy... LOL I will ask an expert as I really " don't know " . I don't have a story of what you should do with your son or even what your son should do or what schools should do, I could make up with a ton of them. LOL In my perfect world there would be no confusion... Your letter was for me, I was so confused last week! My thinking about my husband was " crazy " . I could not find my way out! Your note helped me find my way. I finally got it. I can find a story where my kid would know more than me, I can find a story where I was not sure who knew what, I could find a story where " is this real? " . That was my story last week! I can't find the reality! HELP! LOL One persons seizure could be another person's trance/ day dream, gee I don't know... that is not my job thank Goodness because I am ignorant in that arena. I have a medical background but I still " don't know " . I think sometimes I really don't want to think I do know! What a great place to be. I just don't know. Whewwww. If there is no confusion then it just doesn't matter. If I am confused, then I have a question. Lovingly, April Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 6, 2003 Report Share Posted November 6, 2003 Dear , I notice that you are fine with the seizure/medical insurance/treatment story - thank you for sharing your work, as a parent I really see that it is also my work. I thought I would share that I had a 'seizure' 4 yrs ago (that's what I called it anyway, I fell to the floor like a 2X4 dropped onto cement). I never went to a doctor and I have not experienced anything similiar before or after. I am what most people consider 'very healthy'. I trust that you know exactly what to do or not do as a 'parent'. If these 'seizures' had continued, I may or may not have found an 'expert' to discuss the experience with...we may have been able to develop a really good story about it! I hear that you are teaching your son to be in touch with his own 'body' and to make his own decisions regarding its care - to me this sounds like a great gift for a parent to give a child. I hear that you are not imposing your fear onto your son - I see you as a loving, wise parent, and i appreciate you sharing this. and Cyrus wrote: thanks mona. and here is my work on this: i need my children to be healthy and it seems so true right now, it seems as if my life depended on it. can i absolutly know that it is true? no. when i go a bit deeper, i know i don't need this. just as i don't need me to be healthy, to live or survive. i WANT my kids to be healthy and when i go deeper then that, i know it is my ego that wants my kids to be healthy. and i want them to be healthy so i can be OK. how do i feel when i think that thought? desperate. i feel fearful, things can happen anytime, all the time. i feel i need to protect them but at the same time i realize i can't do that. i want to cry. i feel ashamed for my bad-mother days and moments. who am i without the thought? i am fine. relaxed. i love my children healthy or sick. i do what is infront of me. and it does not really matter if this means i clean the house or i hold a sick child. i am here doing what needs to be done. i let go of my desire to control reality. or to suggest what should or should not happen. i let reality do its work and stay in the knowing that everything is fine. turn arounds: i need me to be healthy i need my thinking to be healthy i don't need my kids to be healthy (true) i don't need anything (truer) love, andrea Re: Understanding > i guess what i am asking for is something to hold on to. something to remember when i can tell that i am beginning to fall. Hi , It sounds to me like you know the perfect thing to remember when you think that you are beginning to fall: the four questions and the turnarounds! And if you have the thought that you're beginning to fall, you might bring that thought to inquiry, also. Is it true that you're beginning to fall? How do you react when you think the thought that you're beginning to fall? Who would you be without the thought that you're beginning to fall? It's nice to *meet* you, . Love, Mona Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 7, 2007 Report Share Posted June 7, 2007 Patty: Beautifully written and incredibly true. Being this is not one of those " popular " illness (thank G-d) few people but for us, really know how it can effect our lives. I was speaking with my store manager, telling him how wonderful my immediate supervisor has been to me and I thought she should be recognized for it when he looked at me and said, " but you don't look sick " . I've directed him to the Stills web site that we know so well. After a while explaining what I have just gets old and is obviously NOT sinking in. I understand your wanting " to quit " . There are times, I'm pretty sure everyone will agree to this, that I've had enough and cry because I just want to be " normal " again. A day without limits, without pains, without pills...but it's wishful thinking and it gets you only frustration. I'm one of the lucky ones, I'm still functional for the most part and I do have good days/weeks and I enjoy them to the utmost. So much so, I forget, if only for a little while, that there is this thing inside me. So I trudge along, sometimes with glares of disbelief from my husband and son when I ask them to reach something for me. I have no doubt your husband doesn't take you for granted (most of the time) and he appreciates all you do and will do for both of you. Take care and be well. Elle > > To all that may be concerned, > > My name is Patty and I am the wife of Larry Brown from western NC. He was diagnosed 2 and 1/2 years ago with Stills. It has been very difficult being the (for lack of a better term) Head of House for me. Larry always took care of the out side and always was willing to help inside too. We always tried to work together to keep the house up and both worked. Any way when Larry got sick I had to take over most of the care of home and hearth. My kids helped a great deal but they were kids, and now all flew from the nest. And continue to help when they can. but for the most part I have had to deal with most every thing. Ican tell you now that it is very hard to hear someone talk about how bad they feel and yes it is on a daily basis. And yes it is difficult to understand how someone who " looks healthy " can feel so bad all the time. I have worked in the health field for 15+ years and I believe that that has helped me understand Larry alot more then those who don't > work in health. Any way there are days I feel like throwing my hands up and screeming IQUIT! This disease takes so much away from the person who has it. Larry does good If he can make it through a work day. He comes home and crashes. On his days off he sleeps. We dont go out because he doesnt have enough spoones to carry him through. We do not go on vacations because he cant do all the riding and walking that vacations require. We are only in our mid 40's and now with no children, this should be our time to do what ever we want (even running around naked) at home. But because of stills we dont have that.So you see Stills takes alot from the person who has it, but it also takes away from the entire family. but we have learned that we are best of friends and can talk about anything. We do spend a lot of time together because he works with me so I can keep an eye on him. As I have read many of your emails I have noticed that most men(not all) do not > understand when it comes to an illness that you really cant see or fight. They need to read as much as you can get them to about Stills and the complications of the drugs that you have to take. the more informed , as you know, the better to understand. but remember most men cant handle seeing the woman they love sick. Most men want to fight and get rid of the problem, with Stills that cannot happen. The more you fight the harder it fights back. So I say to the husbands, and wives of people who have stills, Enjoy their good days, take real good care of them on their bad days, embrace the blessing in-between . Believe it or not there are many blessing to be found if you just take a long look. And really pray for one another. God will meet you there. > I pray that God Will help you through this. > With Love and Respect, > Patty Brown > > > > ______________________________________________________________________ ______________ > Yahoo! oneSearch: Finally, mobile search > that gives answers, not web links. > http://mobile.yahoo.com/mobileweb/onesearch?refer=1ONXIC > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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