New Here

[Guest guest]

Hi

I also have a daughter age 12 with autism. She was originally

diagnosed as severe but we've come a long way since then. My DD is

also mostly non-verbal but trying really hard now to talk but when

she's upset I'm pretty sure I don't want to know what she's saying.

LOL - Body language says it all sometimes.

Anyway, this is a really active group with some fantastic people. I

hope you get some answers here and meet a few friends.

>

> Hi!  My name is .  I have a little girl who is 12 yrs.old. 

She has moderate to sever autism. She is mostly non-verbal, but every

now and then you can hear words.(especially when she is upset.)  I

also have 3 other children. (son, 21 yrs.,  son 17 yrs., and son soon

to be14 yrs.).  All have adhd, 17 yr. has tourettes, 13 yr. has odd 

and bipolar.

> look forward to getting to know all of you.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi, my name is and I have a 5 1/2 year old son who I believe is

NT. I myself have Aspergers syndrome. But, my son I think has some

ODD.

>

> Hi!  My name is .  I have a little girl who is 12 yrs.old. 

She has moderate to sever autism. She is mostly non-verbal, but every

now and then you can hear words.(especially when she is upset.)  I also

have 3 other children. (son, 21 yrs.,  son 17 yrs., and son soon to

be14 yrs.).  All have adhd, 17 yr. has tourettes, 13 yr. has odd  and

bipolar.

> look forward to getting to know all of you.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi, my name is and I have a 5 1/2 year old son who I believe is

NT. I myself have Aspergers syndrome. But, my son I think has some

ODD.

>

> Hi!  My name is .  I have a little girl who is 12 yrs.old. 

She has moderate to sever autism. She is mostly non-verbal, but every

now and then you can hear words.(especially when she is upset.)  I also

have 3 other children. (son, 21 yrs.,  son 17 yrs., and son soon to

be14 yrs.).  All have adhd, 17 yr. has tourettes, 13 yr. has odd  and

bipolar.

> look forward to getting to know all of you.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Welcome to all of you who are new here.

 

My name is Jessie and I have high functioning autism.

 

I am 30 and it has been a long road getting to where I am now. I am a student in

early childhood education in college, with a focus on special needs and a strong

desire to work directly with those who have autism.

 

I believe that all children should have an equal opportunity to receive the best

education in a regular classroom whenever possible. Part of the reason I have

such strong feelings about this is that I have two sisters who were placed in

special education classes and they did not receive the education I did. It was

not known during my regular school years that I had autism. My sisters are

undiagnosed; however, show many signs of being on the spectrum themselves.

 

I had to take a few special education classes in Jr. High and High School.

Although I have much difficulty with reading, I seemed to excel in english;

however could not get through pre-algebra until I met a very special teacher. I

have an incredible memory and he was able to tap into that to get me through to

pass the required course. I would not pass Algebra because as the process became

less about what I had memorized and more about processes, I just couldn't grasp

the concepts.

 

My goal as a special education teacher is to work with a team that includes

parents, the individual child, and other necessary specialists to get every

child out of that special education class and into regular classes. Children

with special needs and with out special needs all benefit from being together in

the same environment.

 

Those who are NT learn about disabilities and learn to accept those that are

different from them. Children with special needs get to be in a learning

environment with normalcy and can then better model their behavior as they

develop to be more normal.

 

If we exile children in crucial developmental stages, when they are suseptible

to everything around them and taking it all in and learning from it, to

classrooms where there are children with abnormal behavior, they will learn to

be abnormal.

 

It may not have been the practice of yesterday; however, it is taught to

teachers in college today to integrate ALL children into their classrooms!

 

http://speakup.today.com

 

Happy to be me today,

 

autisticjessie

Subject: Re: New Here

To: Autism_in_Girls

Date: Thursday, July 3, 2008, 6:51 AM

Hi, my name is and I have a 5 1/2 year old son who I believe is

NT. I myself have Aspergers syndrome. But, my son I think has some

ODD.

>

> Hi!  My name is .  I have a little girl who is 12 yrs.old. 

She has moderate to sever autism. She is mostly non-verbal, but every

now and then you can hear words.(especially when she is upset.)  I also

have 3 other children. (son, 21 yrs.,  son 17 yrs., and son soon to

be14 yrs.).  All have adhd, 17 yr. has tourettes, 13 yr. has odd  and

bipolar.

> look forward to getting to know all of you.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Welcome to all of you who are new here.

 

My name is Jessie and I have high functioning autism.

 

I am 30 and it has been a long road getting to where I am now. I am a student in

early childhood education in college, with a focus on special needs and a strong

desire to work directly with those who have autism.

 

I believe that all children should have an equal opportunity to receive the best

education in a regular classroom whenever possible. Part of the reason I have

such strong feelings about this is that I have two sisters who were placed in

special education classes and they did not receive the education I did. It was

not known during my regular school years that I had autism. My sisters are

undiagnosed; however, show many signs of being on the spectrum themselves.

 

I had to take a few special education classes in Jr. High and High School.

Although I have much difficulty with reading, I seemed to excel in english;

however could not get through pre-algebra until I met a very special teacher. I

have an incredible memory and he was able to tap into that to get me through to

pass the required course. I would not pass Algebra because as the process became

less about what I had memorized and more about processes, I just couldn't grasp

the concepts.

 

My goal as a special education teacher is to work with a team that includes

parents, the individual child, and other necessary specialists to get every

child out of that special education class and into regular classes. Children

with special needs and with out special needs all benefit from being together in

the same environment.

 

Those who are NT learn about disabilities and learn to accept those that are

different from them. Children with special needs get to be in a learning

environment with normalcy and can then better model their behavior as they

develop to be more normal.

 

If we exile children in crucial developmental stages, when they are suseptible

to everything around them and taking it all in and learning from it, to

classrooms where there are children with abnormal behavior, they will learn to

be abnormal.

 

It may not have been the practice of yesterday; however, it is taught to

teachers in college today to integrate ALL children into their classrooms!

 

http://speakup.today.com

 

Happy to be me today,

 

autisticjessie

Subject: Re: New Here

To: Autism_in_Girls

Date: Thursday, July 3, 2008, 6:51 AM

Hi, my name is and I have a 5 1/2 year old son who I believe is

NT. I myself have Aspergers syndrome. But, my son I think has some

ODD.

>

> Hi!  My name is .  I have a little girl who is 12 yrs.old. 

She has moderate to sever autism. She is mostly non-verbal, but every

now and then you can hear words.(especially when she is upset.)  I also

have 3 other children. (son, 21 yrs.,  son 17 yrs., and son soon to

be14 yrs.).  All have adhd, 17 yr. has tourettes, 13 yr. has odd  and

bipolar.

> look forward to getting to know all of you.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

> >

> > Hi!  My name is .  I have a little girl who is 12 yrs.old. 

> She has moderate to sever autism. She is mostly non-verbal, but every

> now and then you can hear words.(especially when she is upset.)  I also

> have 3 other children. (son, 21 yrs.,  son 17 yrs., and son soon to

> be14 yrs.).  All have adhd, 17 yr. has tourettes, 13 yr. has odd  and

> bipolar.

> > look forward to getting to know all of you.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

> >

> > Hi!  My name is .  I have a little girl who is 12 yrs.old. 

> She has moderate to sever autism. She is mostly non-verbal, but every

> now and then you can hear words.(especially when she is upset.)  I also

> have 3 other children. (son, 21 yrs.,  son 17 yrs., and son soon to

> be14 yrs.).  All have adhd, 17 yr. has tourettes, 13 yr. has odd  and

> bipolar.

> > look forward to getting to know all of you.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Hi Jessie,

I have an 18 year old. She has extreme MATH anxiety. I know she will not

pass the entrance exam for college which will require her to take even more

MATH, which will probably make her shut down and not want to go to college at

all.

I would like to help advocate for her at college, but need a better

understanding of her difficulty. She too has an exceptional memory, but has

difficulty with the many step and processes as you stated in your E-Mail.

Can you help me with understanding this MATH difficulty a little better.

Thank you,

**************Get the scoop on last night's hottest shows and the live music

scene in your area - Check out TourTracker.com!

(http://www.tourtracker.com?NCID=aolmus00050000000112)

[Guest guest]

Hey , I'm in college right now and both at UT and the current

private college I attend the professors always on the first day have

in their syllabi and verbally state they are happy to make what ever

modifications are needed to accommodate any student's disability. It

also seems they are willing to forego a ACT/SAT in lieu of their own

entrance exam. I guess I'm wondering if that may be an out for her, if

she could skip the formal entrance test, go straight to the college

disability office and request their own entrance test with

modifications for the math that could include fewer math problems,

having the steps broken down, etc? Is there any way you could get her

enrolled online for a few classes not math-related without requiring

an entrance exam?

I dunno, just brainstorming.

Debi

[Guest guest]

I Know that Community Colleges seem to be more willing to work with -- small

amount of courses and give guidance to succeed -- the credits also transfer into

larger universities...

It seems to work well for people that are not " quite ready " for the overwhelming

University experience

Subject: Re: New Here

To: Autism_in_Girls

Date: Wednesday, July 16, 2008, 3:58 PM

Hey , I'm in college right now and both at UT and the current

private college I attend the professors always on the first day have

in their syllabi and verbally state they are happy to make what ever

modifications are needed to accommodate any student's disability. It

also seems they are willing to forego a ACT/SAT in lieu of their own

entrance exam. I guess I'm wondering if that may be an out for her, if

she could skip the formal entrance test, go straight to the college

disability office and request their own entrance test with

modifications for the math that could include fewer math problems,

having the steps broken down, etc? Is there any way you could get her

enrolled online for a few classes not math-related without requiring

an entrance exam?

I dunno, just brainstorming.

Debi

[Guest guest]

I Know that Community Colleges seem to be more willing to work with -- small

amount of courses and give guidance to succeed -- the credits also transfer into

larger universities...

It seems to work well for people that are not " quite ready " for the overwhelming

University experience

Subject: Re: New Here

To: Autism_in_Girls

Date: Wednesday, July 16, 2008, 3:58 PM

Hey , I'm in college right now and both at UT and the current

private college I attend the professors always on the first day have

in their syllabi and verbally state they are happy to make what ever

modifications are needed to accommodate any student's disability. It

also seems they are willing to forego a ACT/SAT in lieu of their own

entrance exam. I guess I'm wondering if that may be an out for her, if

she could skip the formal entrance test, go straight to the college

disability office and request their own entrance test with

modifications for the math that could include fewer math problems,

having the steps broken down, etc? Is there any way you could get her

enrolled online for a few classes not math-related without requiring

an entrance exam?

I dunno, just brainstorming.

Debi

[Guest guest]

Dear ,

I know this must be hard for you and very hard for your daughter.

When I went back to School/College.. I had major math anxiety and that was my

absolute worst subject..

What I learned through the experience was very valuable.

Most schools have programs for persons with disabilities and can give

tutoring and help with the problem course.

To avoid doing the SAT or general testing try a Junior college where she

can transfer to a 4 year school and not risk being said no to because her SAT

scores were to low.

Contact the SAT organization and see if they have a study/ prep/ or testing

for persons with disabilities that may allow extra time or a test that would

essentially show her capabilities rather than her deficits.

While working with people with Disabilities I found that a lot of

Organizations/Schools/Places of Employment see the value in what our kids bring

to the table and just need to be made a ware of it..

When she is the future President of the U.S. math will be the last thing

she'll need to be worry about.. Support is the key!!

>

> Subject: Re: Re: New Here

> To: Autism_in_Girls

> Date: Wednesday, July 16, 2008, 12:22 PM

> Hi Jessie,

>

> I have an 18 year old. She has extreme MATH anxiety. I

> know she will not

> pass the entrance exam for college which will require her

> to take even more

> MATH, which will probably make her shut down and not want

> to go to college at

> all.

>

> I would like to help advocate for her at college, but need

> a better

> understanding of her difficulty. She too has an

> exceptional memory, but has

> difficulty with the many step and processes as you stated

> in your E-Mail.

>

> Can you help me with understanding this MATH difficulty a

> little better.

>

> Thank you,

>

>

>

>

> **************Get the scoop on last night's hottest

> shows and the live music

> scene in your area - Check out TourTracker.com!

> (http://www.tourtracker.com?NCID=aolmus00050000000112)

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Dear ,

I know this must be hard for you and very hard for your daughter.

When I went back to School/College.. I had major math anxiety and that was my

absolute worst subject..

What I learned through the experience was very valuable.

Most schools have programs for persons with disabilities and can give

tutoring and help with the problem course.

To avoid doing the SAT or general testing try a Junior college where she

can transfer to a 4 year school and not risk being said no to because her SAT

scores were to low.

Contact the SAT organization and see if they have a study/ prep/ or testing

for persons with disabilities that may allow extra time or a test that would

essentially show her capabilities rather than her deficits.

While working with people with Disabilities I found that a lot of

Organizations/Schools/Places of Employment see the value in what our kids bring

to the table and just need to be made a ware of it..

When she is the future President of the U.S. math will be the last thing

she'll need to be worry about.. Support is the key!!

>

> Subject: Re: Re: New Here

> To: Autism_in_Girls

> Date: Wednesday, July 16, 2008, 12:22 PM

> Hi Jessie,

>

> I have an 18 year old. She has extreme MATH anxiety. I

> know she will not

> pass the entrance exam for college which will require her

> to take even more

> MATH, which will probably make her shut down and not want

> to go to college at

> all.

>

> I would like to help advocate for her at college, but need

> a better

> understanding of her difficulty. She too has an

> exceptional memory, but has

> difficulty with the many step and processes as you stated

> in your E-Mail.

>

> Can you help me with understanding this MATH difficulty a

> little better.

>

> Thank you,

>

>

>

>

> **************Get the scoop on last night's hottest

> shows and the live music

> scene in your area - Check out TourTracker.com!

> (http://www.tourtracker.com?NCID=aolmus00050000000112)

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

These are good ideas, there is also another entrance exam, the MAT -

Analogies Test that is excellent. It doesn't require formulaic

solutions

to problems, but presents many areas of questioning in the form of

analogies, so

understanding of concepts is shown or shown to be lacking, but the solving

of

individual problems isn't a part of the exam... maybe an exam like this

would be

better for her? I am a math-phobic as well, and did an excellent job on the

MAT -

I even found it fun! But as was stated by Debi and others, there are many

accomodations and modifications that can be made, and most universities are

much more willing and able to do those things now, but you have to ask, and

be

insistant - it is far easier for them to do things the standard way, so

sometimes,

like many, they need a bit of convincing and coaxing that the easy way isn't

the RIGHT way all the time... good luck and keep us posted...

> Hey , I'm in college right now and both at UT and the current

> private college I attend the professors always on the first day have

> in their syllabi and verbally state they are happy to make what ever

> modifications are needed to accommodate any student's disability. It

> also seems they are willing to forego a ACT/SAT in lieu of their own

> entrance exam. I guess I'm wondering if that may be an out for her, if

> she could skip the formal entrance test, go straight to the college

> disability office and request their own entrance test with

> modifications for the math that could include fewer math problems,

> having the steps broken down, etc? Is there any way you could get her

> enrolled online for a few classes not math-related without requiring

> an entrance exam?

>

> I dunno, just brainstorming.

>

> Debi

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

These are good ideas, there is also another entrance exam, the MAT -

Analogies Test that is excellent. It doesn't require formulaic

solutions

to problems, but presents many areas of questioning in the form of

analogies, so

understanding of concepts is shown or shown to be lacking, but the solving

of

individual problems isn't a part of the exam... maybe an exam like this

would be

better for her? I am a math-phobic as well, and did an excellent job on the

MAT -

I even found it fun! But as was stated by Debi and others, there are many

accomodations and modifications that can be made, and most universities are

much more willing and able to do those things now, but you have to ask, and

be

insistant - it is far easier for them to do things the standard way, so

sometimes,

like many, they need a bit of convincing and coaxing that the easy way isn't

the RIGHT way all the time... good luck and keep us posted...

> Hey , I'm in college right now and both at UT and the current

> private college I attend the professors always on the first day have

> in their syllabi and verbally state they are happy to make what ever

> modifications are needed to accommodate any student's disability. It

> also seems they are willing to forego a ACT/SAT in lieu of their own

> entrance exam. I guess I'm wondering if that may be an out for her, if

> she could skip the formal entrance test, go straight to the college

> disability office and request their own entrance test with

> modifications for the math that could include fewer math problems,

> having the steps broken down, etc? Is there any way you could get her

> enrolled online for a few classes not math-related without requiring

> an entrance exam?

>

> I dunno, just brainstorming.

>

> Debi

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Absolutely,

 

I managed to pass through to Math 96. One thing you should know is that it does

not matter where she places on the Math placement test. It will not stop her

from being able to get into college. It is only a placement test and she can

take it once every three months if she likes. All it will limit her to is what

kinds of Math classes and some biology classes she will be able to take based on

the prereq's. Make sure she understands that aspect of it, that it will not stop

her from enrolling.

 

I had a lot of aprehension before taking my test. I did so well on the writing

part that they did not make me do the written part of the exam. I went right

through to the highest level of placement you can get.

 

The math portion took me 10 minutes, maybe 9. I focused on what I knew I could

do and when I got to the point where I could go no further, I submitted the

answers without attempting to guess at the rest, which would have further

frustrated me.

 

One thing I did not do was to go through the DRC prior to taking the placement

tests. The disability Resource Center can arrange for her to take the test

through them and can even help by getting it in written format. You may want to

ask if they can the math part to her section by section. This way she encounters

the problems by difficulty and one area at a time.

 

My difficulty with understanding math it the processes. For instance in

algebraic problems where there are multiple steps. I can do some forms of these

types of problems but it takes me an extreme amount of time to break them down

into simple problems and them put them back together to form a correct answer. A

process that is usually rittled with mistakes and the outcome incorrect anyhow.

 

2+2=4 is a one step process. Algebraic problems add lettesr that stand for

numbers and more difficult equations like squared, ect. I have the most

difficult time with these sorts of math equations. The college offers free

tutoring, but you have to be enrolled in a Math class to get this tutoring. I

get confused with all of the different step, the numbers run together, I lose my

place, the letters make no sense. For me, an algebraic question is like a word

problem, another area of much dificulty for me. If I hear the word problem

spoken though, I have an easier time of it.

 

My delemia was that I am on a pell grant that will only cover a certain amount

of credits. Then I am on my own to try to pay for school. SO...I went online and

started going to Math help websites. Before I went to take my placement test, I

took a few months to review what I had already learned in high school online,

taking a little time everyday and visiting many websites. I also found math

games to be engaging and helpful.

 

I hope this is helpful!

 

http://speakup.today.com

 

Autisticjessie

Subject: Re: Re: New Here

To: Autism_in_Girls

Date: Wednesday, July 16, 2008, 12:22 PM

Hi Jessie,

I have an 18 year old. She has extreme MATH anxiety. I know she will not

pass the entrance exam for college which will require her to take even more

MATH, which will probably make her shut down and not want to go to college at

all.

I would like to help advocate for her at college, but need a better

understanding of her difficulty. She too has an exceptional memory, but has

difficulty with the many step and processes as you stated in your E-Mail.

Can you help me with understanding this MATH difficulty a little better.

Thank you,

************ **Get the scoop on last night's hottest shows and the live music

scene in your area - Check out TourTracker. com!

(http://www.tourtrac ker.com?NCID= aolmus0005000000 0112)

[Guest guest]

Absolutely,

 

I managed to pass through to Math 96. One thing you should know is that it does

not matter where she places on the Math placement test. It will not stop her

from being able to get into college. It is only a placement test and she can

take it once every three months if she likes. All it will limit her to is what

kinds of Math classes and some biology classes she will be able to take based on

the prereq's. Make sure she understands that aspect of it, that it will not stop

her from enrolling.

 

I had a lot of aprehension before taking my test. I did so well on the writing

part that they did not make me do the written part of the exam. I went right

through to the highest level of placement you can get.

 

The math portion took me 10 minutes, maybe 9. I focused on what I knew I could

do and when I got to the point where I could go no further, I submitted the

answers without attempting to guess at the rest, which would have further

frustrated me.

 

One thing I did not do was to go through the DRC prior to taking the placement

tests. The disability Resource Center can arrange for her to take the test

through them and can even help by getting it in written format. You may want to

ask if they can the math part to her section by section. This way she encounters

the problems by difficulty and one area at a time.

 

My difficulty with understanding math it the processes. For instance in

algebraic problems where there are multiple steps. I can do some forms of these

types of problems but it takes me an extreme amount of time to break them down

into simple problems and them put them back together to form a correct answer. A

process that is usually rittled with mistakes and the outcome incorrect anyhow.

 

2+2=4 is a one step process. Algebraic problems add lettesr that stand for

numbers and more difficult equations like squared, ect. I have the most

difficult time with these sorts of math equations. The college offers free

tutoring, but you have to be enrolled in a Math class to get this tutoring. I

get confused with all of the different step, the numbers run together, I lose my

place, the letters make no sense. For me, an algebraic question is like a word

problem, another area of much dificulty for me. If I hear the word problem

spoken though, I have an easier time of it.

 

My delemia was that I am on a pell grant that will only cover a certain amount

of credits. Then I am on my own to try to pay for school. SO...I went online and

started going to Math help websites. Before I went to take my placement test, I

took a few months to review what I had already learned in high school online,

taking a little time everyday and visiting many websites. I also found math

games to be engaging and helpful.

 

I hope this is helpful!

 

http://speakup.today.com

 

Autisticjessie

Subject: Re: Re: New Here

To: Autism_in_Girls

Date: Wednesday, July 16, 2008, 12:22 PM

Hi Jessie,

I have an 18 year old. She has extreme MATH anxiety. I know she will not

pass the entrance exam for college which will require her to take even more

MATH, which will probably make her shut down and not want to go to college at

all.

I would like to help advocate for her at college, but need a better

understanding of her difficulty. She too has an exceptional memory, but has

difficulty with the many step and processes as you stated in your E-Mail.

Can you help me with understanding this MATH difficulty a little better.

Thank you,

************ **Get the scoop on last night's hottest shows and the live music

scene in your area - Check out TourTracker. com!

(http://www.tourtrac ker.com?NCID= aolmus0005000000 0112)

[Guest guest]

Debi,

My daughter already took the entrance exam. She got a D in MATH, which will

require her to take MATH class's in college. She aced reading and english.

What I'm afraid of is that if MATH is required, she will just refuse to take

because of the extreme anxiety it causes her. She had to have a one on one

tutor at home to complete H.S. level MATH. We were not able to get her into

the school building because of panic attacks so bad it caused her to vomit.

Thanks for helping me brainstorm. We probably won't be able to get around

this.

**************Get fantasy football with free live scoring. Sign up for

FanHouse Fantasy Football today.

(http://www.fanhouse.com/fantasyaffair?ncid=aolspr00050000000020)

[Guest guest]

Debi,

My daughter already took the entrance exam. She got a D in MATH, which will

require her to take MATH class's in college. She aced reading and english.

What I'm afraid of is that if MATH is required, she will just refuse to take

because of the extreme anxiety it causes her. She had to have a one on one

tutor at home to complete H.S. level MATH. We were not able to get her into

the school building because of panic attacks so bad it caused her to vomit.

Thanks for helping me brainstorm. We probably won't be able to get around

this.

**************Get fantasy football with free live scoring. Sign up for

FanHouse Fantasy Football today.

(http://www.fanhouse.com/fantasyaffair?ncid=aolspr00050000000020)

[Guest guest]

I wonder if you could get a college to admit her for language-based

classes to give her a year or two to sort of chill out about the math,

then revisit it at that time? Like English, sociology, psychology,

philosophy, etc, they don't need any math stuff. You think any college

would go along with it in the disabilities office?

There are also a few colleges springing up here & there around America

focused for those with disabilities. I could do some digging & find a

listing. Seems they would have some creative ways of admittance &

getting her through it.

Lol, I can't give up on your daughter going to college!!!!!

Debi

[Guest guest]

I wonder if you could get a college to admit her for language-based

classes to give her a year or two to sort of chill out about the math,

then revisit it at that time? Like English, sociology, psychology,

philosophy, etc, they don't need any math stuff. You think any college

would go along with it in the disabilities office?

There are also a few colleges springing up here & there around America

focused for those with disabilities. I could do some digging & find a

listing. Seems they would have some creative ways of admittance &

getting her through it.

Lol, I can't give up on your daughter going to college!!!!!

Debi

[Guest guest]

linda is it of possible for her to take of the math class on line for

her to do as she is of able to within the home/

Sondra

[Guest guest]

Welcome to the group, JuLeah

Well, <sigh> you've got a lot on your plate.

First of all, how is it that your ex gets to make all of her medical decisions,

alone?

He doesn't understand OCD, obviously, and what he is asking of her is making

things worse. To ask them to stop can cause horrible stress and make the

anxiety increase, leading to depression.

OCD is a neurobiological disorder and an anxiety disorder. Their brain is

functioning differently than someone without OCD, so it isn't a matter of them

misbehaving. They are compelled to do what OCD wants, to try to lower the

anxiety level they are feeling. The problem is, the more they give in to it,

the more it cycles. There is a way to try to stop the cycle, but they have to

be willing to do it, they cannot be forced, nor bullied into it, which sounds

like what your ex it trying to do.

OCD can be treated, and they can improve!

All of her behaviors that you described are OCD driven. But, they can all be

treated with a therapy called CBT/ERP (cognitive behavioral therapy / exposure

and response prevention). A very high percentage of people with OCD respond to

it, and improve. It doesn't mean OCD will go completely away, but they learn to

fight it, and gain control over it, so the thoughts and rituals can diminish.

Sometimes, if their anxiety is too high, they might need the assistance of

medication. SSRI antidepressants are used to lower anxiety and it also can

diminish the thought (obsessions). Your regular family doctor could prescribe

and monitor her meds, but they typically like for them to see a psychiatrist

first. We do that with our son, because the psychiatrist he saw is a long way

from our home.

If you took her to her family doc and got a recommendation for your daughter to

see a psychiatrist, can your ex stop you from seeking that help, since it is

recommended from a medical doctor?

If you can find a way to force him to allow treatment with a

psychologist/therapist (which is who does the CBT/ERP therapy), you will need to

find someone who understands OCD well, and uses ERP (exposure and response

prevention) therapy. They can be hard to find, but worth it.

With CBT/ERP, they make a hierarchy list, which is a list of all their

obsessions (thoughts) and compulsions (rituals), then rate them from least

bothersome, to worst. They start working on the easiest thing, gaining

confidence as they work their way up the list. They confront that obsession and

basically do the opposite of what it is telling them to do, so they can retrain

their brain. But, they take baby steps, if needed, so they can control the

amount of anxiety they feel. As they continue to work on their OCs, the

intensity will diminish and they will start to desensitize.

There are some good books that can help you understand OCD better, and some

workbooks that can walk you through CBT/ERP, so you could even start some things

at home, if your daughter is willing.

A couple of books that have a lot of information about OCD are. . .

Freeing Your Child from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder by Tamar Chansky (she also

advises our group)

What to do when your Child has Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder by Aureen Wagner

Then a couple of workbooks that we liked are. . .

Talking Back to OCD by March

Helping Your Child with Ocd: A Workbook for Parents of Children with

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder by Lee Fitzgibbons and Cherry Pedrick

Glad you found our group. ) Jump in with any questions you have. Many have

been through what you are going through and can offer some suggestions of what

might help.

BJ

>

> Hello All,

>

> My child is nine. I am new to this and still struggling to understand.

>

> I first noticed behaviors when she was in the 2nd grade. Obsessive hand

washing was what first caught my attention, but I assumed it was a backlash to

all the swine flu germ talks and the schools insistence on hand sanitizer on

every desk. But, then I started to notice this touching thing, so she would

touch the right side of the desk, and then seemingly need to touch the left. If

the front of her body brushed against a wall, she'd turn and brush the back

against the wall too.

>

> It was when she told me she `had to' that I really started to pay attention.

>

> I had known a few people with OCD and of course, I had seen the TV show Monk,

but that was the extent of my knowledge.

> I asked people who knew more then me. I was told to watch, don't encourage,

don't discourage; see what unfolds.

> It got worse.

> My daughter came to me one day in tears asking what was wrong with her. She

talked about no wanting to do these things, but not being able to stop herself.

Her friends at school were asking questions and she didn't know what to say.

> I spoke with her teacher, who had noticed but had no real suggestions.

> One of battles I won in the custody was that my daughter would see a mental

health professional. She had been displaying physical signs of stress and

anxiety for many many months.

> Sadly, my ex got to choose the person.

> I took my child to see this mental health professional who used the label OCD

and said she had a lot of experience working with kids who struggle with this

condition. I felt hope.

> After speaking with the ex however, all of that changed. The ex claimed to

have never seen the behaviors and declared our daughter fit and no longer in

need of a counselor.

> When the ex claims to have never seen the behaviors, it translates to, the

behaviors are not allowed.

> I do believe there are fewer behaviors in that house as a result, but the

pressure building inside my daughter is increasing. It feels like the compulsive

behaviors somehow release some of the pressure.

> She hides the behaviors as best she can at school and at the ex house, with

me, I see them all.

> I don't want to … encourage, but I do accommodate. She will brush her teeth

independently, if provided her with a tooth brush only she has ever touched.

> To keep her hands from getting raw and bloody, I buy non soap soap for her to

use.

> I don't fuss at her when we get out of the car, but stand and wait as she

touched the door 20 times.

> She recently started licking things however, that that's kind of gross to me.

Her hands and arms, her shirt, the car seat, the seat belt … I did ask her to

stop that, but she tells me she can't.

> The ex says I am creating this problem and it would be gone completely if I

didn't encourage it. The ex feels I coached her into the behavior actually.

> I do set limits with my daughter

> I don't let her use this as an excuse when I can help it. " I can't do my

homework the pencil is dirty "

> " Well wash it or find a new one that has never been used, but do your

homework "

> I tell her we all have something we struggle with, and this seems to be one of

her things.

> She wants to trade.

> I am getting more and more concerned because she seems to be getting more and

more depressed.

> She told me a few weeks back that, " If this is going to be my life, I don't

see the point in living "

> I know untreated OCD can lead to bigger issues.

> I have spoken with mental health professionals, doctors, teachers, social

workers, and a judge. I have hired attorneys even, but got out spent.

> I am left with attempting to help her help herself. So, I turn to sources such

as this asking for advice, support, ideas … I am paying attention to diet but

welcome all ideas. I know sleep is important. I know exercise is critical too.

> Thank you for reading this far and for any suggestions you might have.

> -JuLeah

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you. My ex has that much control because I got out spent in court.

 

The ex's feelings stem from the reality that several mental health professionals

over the years have attempted to diagnose, starting in the teen years .... the

ex refuses all labels save the self proclaimed 'perfect'

 

The ex believes a label such as this would tarnish the family name and imply

imperfection with the genetic line.

 

Yah, we are now divorced.

 

Family money, family name (in the medical arena and the political) a stupid

judge, a lot of untruths, and the ex wound up with more power and control ...

which, oddly, was all that was ever really wanted.

 

I was warned when I left that I'd never even see my daughter again and was told,

" I will destroy you " So, I am glad I held on to as much as I have.

 

Anyway, the book suggestions are great and work she and I can do at home will be

a good start. If I can give her language for this, help her to know she is not

alone, it will go a long way towards lessening her depression (I hope)

 

I am seeking out mental health counseling with me as the identified client, but

seeking out one who specialized in OCD so my many questions can be answered as I

have no authority to take my daughter to a mental health provider.

 

I will attempt next year to find a way to talk with the teacher and school

counselor, but need to approach that with caution. If words gets back the the

ex, it will be a very bad day.

 

Anyway, I am glad to know I am not alone. Thank you.

 

-JuLeah

I could have freed hundreds more if only I had been able to convince them they

were slaves. Harriet Tubman

To:

Sent: Wednesday, July 20, 2011 11:53 AM

Subject: Re: New here

 

Welcome to the group, JuLeah

Well, <sigh> you've got a lot on your plate.

First of all, how is it that your ex gets to make all of her medical decisions,

alone?

He doesn't understand OCD, obviously, and what he is asking of her is making

things worse. To ask them to stop can cause horrible stress and make the anxiety

increase, leading to depression.

OCD is a neurobiological disorder and an anxiety disorder. Their brain is

functioning differently than someone without OCD, so it isn't a matter of them

misbehaving. They are compelled to do what OCD wants, to try to lower the

anxiety level they are feeling. The problem is, the more they give in to it, the

more it cycles. There is a way to try to stop the cycle, but they have to be

willing to do it, they cannot be forced, nor bullied into it, which sounds like

what your ex it trying to do.

OCD can be treated, and they can improve!

All of her behaviors that you described are OCD driven. But, they can all be

treated with a therapy called CBT/ERP (cognitive behavioral therapy / exposure

and response prevention). A very high percentage of people with OCD respond to

it, and improve. It doesn't mean OCD will go completely away, but they learn to

fight it, and gain control over it, so the thoughts and rituals can diminish.

Sometimes, if their anxiety is too high, they might need the assistance of

medication. SSRI antidepressants are used to lower anxiety and it also can

diminish the thought (obsessions). Your regular family doctor could prescribe

and monitor her meds, but they typically like for them to see a psychiatrist

first. We do that with our son, because the psychiatrist he saw is a long way

from our home.

If you took her to her family doc and got a recommendation for your daughter to

see a psychiatrist, can your ex stop you from seeking that help, since it is

recommended from a medical doctor?

If you can find a way to force him to allow treatment with a

psychologist/therapist (which is who does the CBT/ERP therapy), you will need to

find someone who understands OCD well, and uses ERP (exposure and response

prevention) therapy. They can be hard to find, but worth it.

With CBT/ERP, they make a hierarchy list, which is a list of all their

obsessions (thoughts) and compulsions (rituals), then rate them from least

bothersome, to worst. They start working on the easiest thing, gaining

confidence as they work their way up the list. They confront that obsession and

basically do the opposite of what it is telling them to do, so they can retrain

their brain. But, they take baby steps, if needed, so they can control the

amount of anxiety they feel. As they continue to work on their OCs, the

intensity will diminish and they will start to desensitize.

There are some good books that can help you understand OCD better, and some

workbooks that can walk you through CBT/ERP, so you could even start some things

at home, if your daughter is willing.

A couple of books that have a lot of information about OCD are. . .

Freeing Your Child from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder by Tamar Chansky (she also

advises our group)

What to do when your Child has Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder by Aureen Wagner

Then a couple of workbooks that we liked are. . .

Talking Back to OCD by March

Helping Your Child with Ocd: A Workbook for Parents of Children with

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder by Lee Fitzgibbons and Cherry Pedrick

Glad you found our group. ) Jump in with any questions you have. Many have

been through what you are going through and can offer some suggestions of what

might help.

BJ

>

> Hello All,

>

> My child is nine. I am new to this and still struggling to understand.

>

> I first noticed behaviors when she was in the 2nd grade. Obsessive hand

washing was what first caught my attention, but I assumed it was a backlash to

all the swine flu germ talks and the schools insistence on hand sanitizer on

every desk. But, then I started to notice this touching thing, so she would

touch the right side of the desk, and then seemingly need to touch the left. If

the front of her body brushed against a wall, she'd turn and brush the back

against the wall too.

>

> It was when she told me she `had to' that I really started to pay attention.

>

> I had known a few people with OCD and of course, I had seen the TV show Monk,

but that was the extent of my knowledge.

> I asked people who knew more then me. I was told to watch, don't encourage,

don't discourage; see what unfolds.

> It got worse.

> My daughter came to me one day in tears asking what was wrong with her. She

talked about no wanting to do these things, but not being able to stop herself.

Her friends at school were asking questions and she didn't know what to say.

> I spoke with her teacher, who had noticed but had no real suggestions.

> One of battles I won in the custody was that my daughter would see a mental

health professional. She had been displaying physical signs of stress and

anxiety for many many months.

> Sadly, my ex got to choose the person.

> I took my child to see this mental health professional who used the label OCD

and said she had a lot of experience working with kids who struggle with this

condition. I felt hope.

> After speaking with the ex however, all of that changed. The ex claimed to

have never seen the behaviors and declared our daughter fit and no longer in

need of a counselor.

> When the ex claims to have never seen the behaviors, it translates to, the

behaviors are not allowed.

> I do believe there are fewer behaviors in that house as a result, but the

pressure building inside my daughter is increasing. It feels like the compulsive

behaviors somehow release some of the pressure.

> She hides the behaviors as best she can at school and at the ex house, with

me, I see them all.

> I don't want to … encourage, but I do accommodate. She will brush her teeth

independently, if provided her with a tooth brush only she has ever touched.

> To keep her hands from getting raw and bloody, I buy non soap soap for her to

use.

> I don't fuss at her when we get out of the car, but stand and wait as she

touched the door 20 times.

> She recently started licking things however, that that's kind of gross to me.

Her hands and arms, her shirt, the car seat, the seat belt … I did ask her to

stop that, but she tells me she can't.

> The ex says I am creating this problem and it would be gone completely if I

didn't encourage it. The ex feels I coached her into the behavior actually.

> I do set limits with my daughter

> I don't let her use this as an excuse when I can help it. " I can't do my

homework the pencil is dirty "

> " Well wash it or find a new one that has never been used, but do your

homework "

> I tell her we all have something we struggle with, and this seems to be one of

her things.

> She wants to trade.

> I am getting more and more concerned because she seems to be getting more and

more depressed.

> She told me a few weeks back that, " If this is going to be my life, I don't

see the point in living "

> I know untreated OCD can lead to bigger issues.

> I have spoken with mental health professionals, doctors, teachers, social

workers, and a judge. I have hired attorneys even, but got out spent.

> I am left with attempting to help her help herself. So, I turn to sources such

as this asking for advice, support, ideas … I am paying attention to diet but

welcome all ideas. I know sleep is important. I know exercise is critical too.

> Thank you for reading this far and for any suggestions you might have.

> -JuLeah

>

[Guest guest]

Hi JuLeah, welcome to our group!

BJ covered it all about treatment/therapy and OCD in general. Have you visited

the OCD Foundation website yet? There's information there too. They also have

a search feature to look for therapists by area. Of course, they're only listed

there if they ask to be, so don't give up hope if you don't see someone close to

you.

There's also a book list there, that includes books for children. I'm sure

she'd like some of them. I believe we have a couple things in our FILES section

that are for children (can't look while I'm typing a post), seems like one was

" Kids Like Me " but could be wrong on that title.

If you won in the custody that your ex would pay for an MH professional, how can

he call it off? I would think the therapist would be the one to say if she was

through or needed further treatment? I'd try to get a letter from the therapist

to give to your attorneys that states your daughter could benefit from further

therapy, etc.

We couldn't find a therapist when my son, now 22, began having OCD compulsions

in 6th grade. So we also worked on our own. Takes longer, and not fun for the

parent either, but we did have progress.

As BJ said, medication can be needed, the SSRI type. However, if due to your

ex, there is a problem with this, I would suggest you look at trying inositol

powder (it's in the B vitamin family). We used it at first, all thru middle

school. Some others have had success with it, some not. So it's a 50/50 chance

it may help the OCD. It's best to buy it online, much cheaper, and can be hard

to find locally anyway. We used the Source Naturals brand, but there's no

particular brand to use for it. Here's a link to an article about it (hope link

works!):

http://www.wsps.info/index.php?option=com_content & view=article & id=70:inositol-an\

d-ocd & catid=36:ocd-and-related-subjects-by-frederick-penzel-phd & Itemid=64

(If above doesn't work, go to: http://www.wsps.info/ and look at Staff

Articles, pick the OCD one by Dr. Penzel. You'll find " Inositol and OCD " in the

list.)

When you try to work on some of the issues, as BJ mentioned make a

hierarchy/list, you can pick 1 or 2 things to work on. You can try different

ways, like trying to delay her washing her hands (maybe she trys to wait 2

minutes, etc.), try to limit how many times a day she can do it (work towards

goal), see if she can do the same with licking, delay it or hold off til a

certain time in the day. You can try to set up rewards/treats for her to work

for, earn, as she tries. And *effort* counts towards earning, not just success.

Well, this is getting long, but glad you found our group. It's been my best

support through all this!

single mom, 3 sons

, 22, with OCD, dysgraphia, Aspergers

finishing up at UNC-Chapel Hill this week!

>

> Hello All,

>

> My child is nine. I am new to this and still struggling to understand.

>

> I first noticed behaviors when she was in the 2nd grade. Obsessive hand

washing was what first caught my attention, but I assumed it was a backlash to

all the swine flu germ talks and the schools insistence on hand sanitizer on

every desk. But, then I started to notice this touching thing, so she would

touch the right side of the desk, and then seemingly need to touch the left. If

the front of her body brushed against a wall, she'd turn and brush the back

against the wall too.

>