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Hi :

I am still learning how to try to do it!

Many times talking and talking about the person that got me

mad helps me to " let go " after I'm all talked out!

Many times, when I come up with logical explanations as to why

they act like such a jerk -- if I can put them in a category,

or make a diagnosis -- make some sort of sense of it, then

I can let it go.

When it festers, I say to myself " this festering is just like

what Nada did! She couldn't let things go! Why do you suppose

that is? What should I do differently than she did? "

What I've come up with is that if you do certain things, you

will not be like Nada!! Here are a few of the things:

(1) keep a gratitude journal

(2) exercise

(3) eat right

(4) try to dress nice, etc.

(5) do something for " you " every day for at least 30 min.!

(6) pray or meditate, do deep slow breathing, whatever.

(7) talk to people about things, and don't isolate.

Today I said to myself -- I'm concentrating on the negative

again (just like Nada!) and I need to make an entry in my

gratitude journal! When I do that, it helps me to focus on

the good things in my life and not the bad.

Good luck , we're all in this together!

Barb

> Barb and Hania

>

> I sent a post re someone at work I'm having problems with. I know

that my reactions to her are because she triggers something in me,

but I don't know what. I read this part of your reponse to Hania and

I know this is what I need to learn to do. But I don't know how.

How do you distance yourself from these intense feelings.? I would

love it if I could and I know I would feel so much better. Are there

any tricks you practice?

>

> And Hania I have a question for you. What is it about you and I

that causes us to let these people upset us so much? Is it a

reaction to our nada's and is it because of low self-esteem within

ourselves that means we worry these people are right, maybe we

aren't " good " people?

> If it's low self esteem, what do we do?

>

>

>

> I'm wondering -- do you think it would help at all if you tried

> to distance yourself just a bit from your intense feelings

regarding

> each incident you just described?

>

>

>

>

>

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