- mother and wedding

[Guest guest]

Hi :

Welcome to the group!

Congratulations on your engagement and your coming wedding!

That is such a wonderful and exciting time -- yet totally stressful!!

I can sympathise!

Well... my mother is a total Waif -- and uses her " waifyness " as a

weapon many times!! For instance, when I was getting married she

couldn't come up with the correct addresses for my relatives.

Good for nothing -- but none-the-less my Nada!!

Yes, I wanted her to be there -- I wanted her to see her daughter get

married. She hurt me with her waifyness and witchyness but I still

love her with the love of an abused child.

I just put on a " civil " act as much as I could -- and hoped for the

best [and prayed that she wouldn't " act out " in a witchy way or what

not until the wedding was over].

It turned out pretty good.

There's so much pressure on everyone before and during the wedding --

I suggest just using your " old " survival skills that you've been

using with her all along -- keep it civil - and wait until well after

your honeymoon to delve in any more deeply with Nada issues!

Just some ideas!

Have a wonderful wedding and honeymoon!! I wish I could be there for

your validation/support network!!

Barb

> Hello all I'm so glad to find this group. It's been a good

> realization that other people are going through the same things I

> am. I'm not alone!!!

>

> I would really love some support and advice. I have been going to

> therapy and have been learning to develop boundaries but this does

> not seem to completely help. I am dealing with my upcoming wedding

> and all the events that surround the event. I have much anxiety

> about my mother attending these events and how I should approach

> her. She has not been involved in the planning or financially

> helped in anyway. I feel very bitter about this being that I am her

> only child and only daughter. I feel that in her own twisted way

she

> is trying to control me and hurt me emotionally by not being

> involved. I have been engaged 8 months and as the time gets closer

> and closer I am more disappointed that she has not helped. Its only

> three weeks away. I guess I just need some advice as to how to sort

> out the feelings of I hate you yet you are my mother and I feel

> sorry for you and want you to be involved.

>

> Look forward to hearing from you all.

>

>