feeling really sad

[Guest guest]

Hello everyone,

In the big scheme of things I guess I'm ok. But I'm really really really sad. The fight is just getting too darned hard. It takes every ounce of my being to take that next right step I need to take every day. And I feel like doors have been slaming in my face non-stop lately and I feel overwhelmed and sad and parts of me want to give up. I know that I've been worrying Al considerably and as much as I love him, I don't even care that he's worrying. And with all the doors closing, I see none opening up! And I wait and wait and wait!

It's been 3 months now that I've upped the steroids and I'm still not 100% - even for me. And I am so tired of feeling so crappy. I know I've been one of the lucky ones that I've been able to work and feel relatively good, but this sucks.

Plus my birthday was Monday and it really sucked and I've felt sorry for myself ever since. And I'm 54! And I hate that too. My job is ending, I worry about the money. WE have no phone anymore, we have until the end of the month to use the car without driving illegally,

And it's the middle of summer in south Florida and the apt swimming pool has been closed for 3 weeks now and because we've been late on rent recently, I hate to complain and make waves. (oh that's a pun)

Usually I believe that "this too shall pass" but today I'm not quite so certain. I sure could use some "there, there Carole, it'll get better" so if you have a minute.....

feel good everyone - Carole in Hollywood FL