Re: Heartsick Moment

[Guest guest]

Wow Steph, that is a lot to take in.  I am so sorry and can only imagine your

stress and pain.  Sending you prayers and good

thoughts............................Larkellen

Estate and Garage Sales Facebook Page

www.estateandgaragesales.biz

Subject: Heartsick Moment

To:

Date: Friday, May 13, 2011, 9:54 PM

My 16-year-old daughter, who was hospitalized for suicidal depression and

anxiety a year ago, is doing better with her OCD right now. In fact, she's made

enormous strides in the past year.

But she still feels so negative about her future -- it breaks my heart. She told

me tonight she feels sure she'll be suicidal again and she'll eventually take

her own life. She really has doubts that she'll continue to live for a long time

or that she'll ever be successful at anything and live independently.

I tried to stay positive and upbeat, telling her these fears were normal, and

that her mental health and life are likely to improve. She'll keep getting

better through therapy, good nutrition, exercise, and continued treatment. Her

family will always be there for her. Better medications will be developed.

She'll learn more about managing her " bad thoughts. " And she has so many gifts

and so many exciting things to look forward to. I told her OCD is a bit like

diabetes -- scary, but very manageable with treatment.

Our conversation was pretty postive, but after she went to bed, I started

crying. It's just so damn heartbreaking, and I find myself being furious -- at

the universe I guess -- that her life has been so hard and that we're living our

lives with the fear of losing her. And I wonder if things will ever be better.

On better days, I keep looking forward, I guess, pray a bit, and try to be

positive. But there are nights like this -- I'm just so frightened, angry and

sad, and I feel so powerless.

I know I'm new to this group, and you all don't really know me. I don't have a

point to make or a question to ask. I just wanted to talk to folks who " get it. "

Thanks for listening.

Steph in VA

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Links

[Guest guest]

Steph,

That is in fact a very scary conversation and I can only imagine how you feel. 

Is you daughter on medication and what is the status with that aspect?

My heart breaks with you, not because I don't think everything will improve, but

because I know the pain and the loss very well.  It is so scary and you can feel

very alone.  I am so glad you are opening up here and letting others get to know

you and your struggles.  This board has been such a wealth of information for

me, but in addition, such a support group.  It is really an amazing place to be.

I do not have OCD but remember 16 very well and all that goes along with being

16.  The age alone can be so hard for kids even without mental illness.  You're

so right.  It is not fair and robs these poor kids of so much.

in WA

[Guest guest]

Hello Steph,

Many times my son (now 17) would tell me how much he hated his life, especially

the times when his OCD was at it worst. Even now that he is so much better

there are times when he looks back and gets sad about what OCD has done to him.

But, those times are now becoming less and less. In a way, it's like the farther

the OCD recedes from him, the more positive he gets. There was a certainly a

time when, like your daughter, the world just seemed too hard and complicated to

deal with. But, he kept going and in time, life got better. My heart goes out

to your daughter and I wish I could tell her how important it is not to give up,

to keep searching for what good there is in life, and that there's definitely a

good place for her in this life.

Best,

Joni

[Guest guest]

Sounds like depression - has she talked with her therapist about that?

Bonnie

>

> My 16-year-old daughter, who was hospitalized for suicidal depression and

anxiety a year ago, is doing better with her OCD right now. In fact, she's made

enormous strides in the past year.

>

> But she still feels so negative about her future -- it breaks my heart. She

told me tonight she feels sure she'll be suicidal again and she'll eventually

take her own life. She really has doubts that she'll continue to live for a long

time or that she'll ever be successful at anything and live independently.

>

> I tried to stay positive and upbeat, telling her these fears were normal, and

that her mental health and life are likely to improve. She'll keep getting

better through therapy, good nutrition, exercise, and continued treatment. Her

family will always be there for her. Better medications will be developed.

She'll learn more about managing her " bad thoughts. " And she has so many gifts

and so many exciting things to look forward to. I told her OCD is a bit like

diabetes -- scary, but very manageable with treatment.

>

> Our conversation was pretty postive, but after she went to bed, I started

crying. It's just so damn heartbreaking, and I find myself being furious -- at

the universe I guess -- that her life has been so hard and that we're living our

lives with the fear of losing her. And I wonder if things will ever be better.

>

> On better days, I keep looking forward, I guess, pray a bit, and try to be

positive. But there are nights like this -- I'm just so frightened, angry and

sad, and I feel so powerless.

>

> I know I'm new to this group, and you all don't really know me. I don't have a

point to make or a question to ask. I just wanted to talk to folks who " get it. "

>

> Thanks for listening.

>

> Steph in VA

>

[Guest guest]

Hello Steph,

OCD is pretty new to us also. My (then)15 year old daughter (she's 16 now) was

diagnosed in early Jan. of ths year. Though she's pretty sure she's been

battling OCD for about a year before official diagnosis. That breaks my heart to

think she was going through this all by herself for nearly a year

She never had suicidal thoughts,quite the opposite,her biggest fear was facing

her own death. The OCD had her frightened and convinced that when she went to

sleep at night she would die in her sleep. So for months before I even knew she

had OCD, she was resisting sleep and fighting sleep. I would try to wake her for

school in the a.m. and she was way too tired because of staying awake most of

the night. I was chaulking it up to insomnia and even got her a sleep aid!!!!

Amy had always had issues with Social Anxiety,since she was very young,so we

thought the new High School she started in Sept. and everything that goes with a

new school,and new teachers,the subjects etc. , was stressing her out big time

and that her intense anxiety was preventing her from sleeping and functioning

day to day.

Little did we know that she was battling the " monster " of OCD.

She started seeing a therapist and then was referred to a psychiatrist,who gave

the diagnosis. She was prescribed Prozak and put on the list for CBT with a

psychologist. It took a about 2 months before the meds. starting making a

difference in Amy but when they kicked in, major improvement was seen.

She still isn't able to go back to school but she is doing her school work at

home and will hopefully get most of her 10th Grade credits. She's able to attend

social events again with the family,go to shopping malls, movie theatres,

concerts etc. For many months she wasn't able to function socially at all. It

was like she was under house arrest!!!!

She is almost back to the " Amy " we all know!! The therapy,meds.and Dr.

March's book " Talking Back to OCD " have allowed this to happen!!! She is doing

quite alot of the Program on her own from his book and doing CBT and exposure

with her psychologist.

But I do know how you are feeling . I cried many nights over Amy's OCD,before

the turn around, for sure. My heart was broken for her that she felt she had no

future and she would be always feeling this way. She felt like it was pointless

to try doing her school work. She was feeling that she would never " get better "

and that she would die young. It was very hard ,as a mother, to hear your child

talk this way . But the " monster " we call OCD was making her believe all of this

and as you know it is a tough monster to fight but it can be fought and can be

overcome

My prayers & thoughts go out to you and your daughter!!! I hope that very soon

she can abolish these thoughts and plan for her future, as a young lady that age

should be able to do!!

Hugs to you both

P.S. Feel free to contact me anytime!!!

>

> My 16-year-old daughter, who was hospitalized for suicidal depression and

anxiety a year ago, is doing better with her OCD right now. In fact, she's made

enormous strides in the past year.

>

> But she still feels so negative about her future -- it breaks my heart. She

told me tonight she feels sure she'll be suicidal again and she'll eventually

take her own life. She really has doubts that she'll continue to live for a long

time or that she'll ever be successful at anything and live independently.

>

> I tried to stay positive and upbeat, telling her these fears were normal, and

that her mental health and life are likely to improve. She'll keep getting

better through therapy, good nutrition, exercise, and continued treatment. Her

family will always be there for her. Better medications will be developed.

She'll learn more about managing her " bad thoughts. " And she has so many gifts

and so many exciting things to look forward to. I told her OCD is a bit like

diabetes -- scary, but very manageable with treatment.

>

> Our conversation was pretty postive, but after she went to bed, I started

crying. It's just so damn heartbreaking, and I find myself being furious -- at

the universe I guess -- that her life has been so hard and that we're living our

lives with the fear of losing her. And I wonder if things will ever be better.

>

> On better days, I keep looking forward, I guess, pray a bit, and try to be

positive. But there are nights like this -- I'm just so frightened, angry and

sad, and I feel so powerless.

>

> I know I'm new to this group, and you all don't really know me. I don't have a

point to make or a question to ask. I just wanted to talk to folks who " get it. "

>

> Thanks for listening.

>

> Steph in VA

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you, Larkellen. Prayers and positive thoughts are always appreciated. :-)

>

> Wow Steph, that is a lot to take in.  I am so sorry and can only imagine your

stress and pain.  Sending you prayers and good

thoughts............................Larkellen

[Guest guest]

Thank you, , and I agree that being 16 is a rough ride, whether a kid is

" typical " or not. My daughter is on several medications for her

anxiety/depression/OCD -- she takes lithium, risperdone, and Luvox (a SSRI) plus

L-Tyrosine (a nutritional supplement I ordered online).

Her medication appears to be working for the most part, though it has to be

constantly assessed. Recently she told me her anxiety was getting worse and her

suicidal thoughts were coming back, so her psychiatrist has started seeing her

every week.

Steph

>

>

> Steph,

> That is in fact a very scary conversation and I can only imagine how you

feel.  Is you daughter on medication and what is the status with that aspect?

[Guest guest]

Thank you, Joni. I appreciate the encouragement. :-) May I ask how long your son

suffered OCD symptoms and what treatments helped him recover?

Steph

>

> Hello Steph,

>

> Many times my son (now 17) would tell me how much he hated his life,

especially the times when his OCD was at it worst. Even now that he is so much

better there are times when he looks back and gets sad about what OCD has done

to him.

[Guest guest]

Yes, her doctor is definitely aware of her depression and suicidal issues, and I

am currently searching for a therapist. Thanks, Bonnie! :-)

>

> Sounds like depression - has she talked with her therapist about that?

> Bonnie

[Guest guest]

Steph, is your dd bipolar as well? Just wondering about the use of Lithium. My

dd takes Lithium as well. Have you had her levels checked recently? Maybe she

needs an adjustment and that could help with the suicidal part. Stormy

________________________________

To:

Sent: Sat, May 14, 2011 10:12:24 AM

Subject: Re: Heartsick Moment

Thank you, , and I agree that being 16 is a rough ride, whether a kid is

" typical " or not. My daughter is on several medications for her

anxiety/depression/OCD -- she takes lithium, risperdone, and Luvox (a SSRI) plus

L-Tyrosine (a nutritional supplement I ordered online).

[Guest guest]

Hi Stormy,

She was put on lithium in the hospital, though she is not bipolar. It's also

used with some depressed patients, particularly with suicidality. Her doc hasn't

been checking her lithium levels. Is that something I should ask about?

By the way, I don't think she's suicidal right now. She just seems to have

reconciled herself to the fact that things will get worse again, and suicide

will eventually happen. :-(

>

> Steph, is your dd bipolar as well? Just wondering about the use of Lithium.

[Guest guest]

Thank you, , for your beautiful letter. I am happy to hear about Amy's

progress -- you've all been on an agonzing journey. My daughter's had OCD since

she was 5, but the suicidality really kicked in a few years ago. I guess mental

illness and adolescence can be a vicious combination. :-( -- Steph in VA

>

> Hello Steph,

> OCD is pretty new to us also. My (then)15 year old daughter (she's 16 now) was

diagnosed in early Jan. of ths year.

[Guest guest]

Steph, what is her dose of Lithium? My dd takes 1800 mg of Lithium and her level

is checked regularly., every few months now. Is her thyroid level being checked?

Lithium commonly affects the thyroid. It made my dd hypothyroid within the first

few weeks. I am sorry she is feeling that way. I actually think DBT could be

really good for your dd. In your other email you mentioned giving things up to a

higher power. I don't think that is really part of DBT. I did a parent child DBT

class with my dd for 6 months. She also did it again when she was in a treatment

center for 60 days. It is all about skills. My dd liked it a lot better than

other therapy. She liked that the focus was on the skills and not her. By the

way, my dd also has all the diagnoses you mentioned your dd having plus

bipolar. I know how hard it can be. Stormy

________________________________

To:

Sent: Sat, May 14, 2011 10:27:22 AM

Subject: Re: Heartsick Moment

Hi Stormy,

She was put on lithium in the hospital, though she is not bipolar. It's also

used with some depressed patients, particularly with suicidality. Her doc hasn't

been checking her lithium levels. Is that something I should ask about?

By the way, I don't think she's suicidal right now. She just seems to have

reconciled herself to the fact that things will get worse again, and suicide

will eventually happen. :-(

>

> Steph, is your dd bipolar as well? Just wondering about the use of Lithium.

[Guest guest]

Hello,

My son's symptoms grew to their worst when he was about 14 (his obsessions

centered on sexual matters). We first reached out to our local mental health

professionals but soon found that their approach to OCD was limited. We then

turned to using ERP (on our own). Through several " sessions " where we used

different types of exposures he improved to the point that his symptoms are now

very small. There is no doubt that for us, ERP was what saved my son. He now

uses it on his own whenever he feels the " sparks " of OCD starting up and so far,

it's working out for him. Of course, as any knows who has dealt with OCD and

ERP, it's not easy, especially without the help of professionals. But, we

pushed through, using every ounce of strength, creativity, and patience we had.

I so glad we did.

Best,

Joni

[Guest guest]

I can only imagine how heart-wrenching that conversation was and how difficult

your journey has been, but it's good that you have an outlet here to verbalize

your thoughts and fears without judgement. Everyone here is going through

similar experiences to varying degrees, so your honesty will help others, not

only the parents who are dealing with suicidal depression, but the other parents

who are not, who sometimes benefit from stories like yours to keep their own

challenges in perspective.

Take care of yourself and keep reaching out. I will keep you in my thoughts and

prayers.

Cheri

[Guest guest]

Steph:

Hi. We are also in VA (VaBeach area). My daughter was diagnosed at 13yrs

with OCD. She turned 20yrs on May 1st and has been away at college for

two years now and is doing well. Please tell your daughter that there is

hope... there is a light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. Every now &

then we see some OCD issues try to break through... but thank God she knows

what the signs are and knows what to watch for - as we do. After all these

years, she is finally able to speak to us about OCD (even saying " OCD " was

not allowed for years... she just couldn't handle verbalizing it.) It

*does* make you heartsick. I know. Keep the faith.

LT

In a message dated 5/13/2011 10:54:29 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

momto3feistykids@... writes:

My 16-year-old daughter, who was hospitalized for suicidal depression and

anxiety a year ago, is doing better with her OCD right now. In fact, she's

made enormous strides in the past year.

But she still feels so negative about her future -- it breaks my heart.

She told me tonight she feels sure she'll be suicidal again and she'll

eventually take her own life. She really has doubts that she'll continue to

live

for a long time or that she'll ever be successful at anything and live

independently.

I tried to stay positive and upbeat, telling her these fears were normal,

and that her mental health and life are likely to improve. She'll keep

getting better through therapy, good nutrition, exercise, and continued

treatment. Her family will always be there for her. Better medications will be

developed. She'll learn more about managing her " bad thoughts. " And she has so

many gifts and so many exciting things to look forward to. I told her OCD

is a bit like diabetes -- scary, but very manageable with treatment.

Our conversation was pretty postive, but after she went to bed, I started

crying. It's just so damn heartbreaking, and I find myself being furious --

at the universe I guess -- that her life has been so hard and that we're

living our lives with the fear of losing her. And I wonder if things will

ever be better.

On better days, I keep looking forward, I guess, pray a bit, and try to be

positive. But there are nights like this -- I'm just so frightened, angry

and sad, and I feel so powerless.

I know I'm new to this group, and you all don't really know me. I don't

have a point to make or a question to ask. I just wanted to talk to folks who

" get it. "

Thanks for listening.

Steph in VA

------------------------------------

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Our list advisors are Gail B. , Ed.D.(http://www.ocdawareness.com ),

Tamar Chansky, Ph.D.( http://www.worrywisekids.org ), and Dan Geller, M.D.

( http://www.massgeneral.org/doctors/doctor.aspx?ID=18068 ). You may ask a

question of any of these mental health professionals by inserting the words

" Ask Dr.(insert name) " in the subject line of a post to the list. Our

list moderators are Castle, BJ, Barb Nesrallah, and Stormy. You may

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OCDKidsLoop membership may be accessed at

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groups are listed at

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may be viewed at http://www.ocfoundation.info/treatment-providers-list.php .

NLM-NIH Drug Information Portal may be viewed at

http://druginfo.nlm.nih.gov/drugportal/drugportal.jsp?APPLICATION_NAME=drugp

ortal . IOCDF recommended reading list may be accessed at

http://www.ocfoundation.org/Books.aspx . IOCDF glossary of terms may be

accessed at

http://www.ocfoundation.org/glossary.aspx . IOCDF membership link may be

accessed at http://www.ocfoundation.net/membership/ . Drugs.com pill

identification wizard may be accessed at http://www.drugs.com/imprints.php .

Mayo

Clinic Drug and Herb Index may be accessed at

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/drug-information/DrugHerbIndex .Yahoo! Groups

Links

[Guest guest]

Thank you, Cheri. :-) This seems like a wonderful group. -- Steph

>

> I can only imagine how heart-wrenching that conversation was and how difficult

your journey has been, but it's good that you have an outlet here to verbalize

your thoughts and fears without judgement.

[Guest guest]

My daughter's dose of Lithium is much lower than that. That's probably why they

aren't testing her levels. And yes she has her thyroid checked regularly. Thanks

for your encouragement!

Steph

>

> Steph, what is her dose of Lithium? My dd takes 1800 mg of Lithium and her

level

> is checked regularly., every few months now. Is her thyroid level being

checked?

[Guest guest]

I don't know. I know that my dd's Lithium level was checked when she was only on

900 mg. Are lower doses used for depression? The reason Lithium levels are

checked is to make sure you are at a therapeutic level and not a toxic one. If

the dose is too low it won't be therapeutic and if it is too high it can be

toxic. It depends on the person's response, not just by dose. Maybe it is

different for depression but for bipolar if it isn't at a therapeutic level you

don't really get control of bipolar. Good luck, Stormy

________________________________

To:

Sent: Sat, May 14, 2011 4:01:23 PM

Subject: Re: Heartsick Moment

My daughter's dose of Lithium is much lower than that. That's probably why they

aren't testing her levels. And yes she has her thyroid checked regularly. Thanks

for your encouragement!

Steph

>

> Steph, what is her dose of Lithium? My dd takes 1800 mg of Lithium and her

>level

>

> is checked regularly., every few months now. Is her thyroid level being

>checked?

>

[Guest guest]

My son is on Lithium 950mg and his level is 0.8. There's only one therapeutic

level for Lithium.

Bonnie

> >

> > Steph, what is her dose of Lithium? My dd takes 1800 mg of Lithium and her

> >level

> >

> > is checked regularly., every few months now. Is her thyroid level being

> >checked?

> >

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Actually there is a range of the therapeutic level. Bonnie, can you clarify? Are

you saying .8 is the only therapeutic level or that depression and bipolar have

the same therapeutic range? Thanks, Stormy

________________________________

To:

Sent: Sat, May 14, 2011 6:03:39 PM

Subject: Re: Heartsick Moment

My son is on Lithium 950mg and his level is 0.8. There's only one therapeutic

level for Lithium.

Bonnie

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the moderators at -owner . OCDKidsLoop

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.. Our group and related groups are listed at

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ocdsupportgroups/links . IOCDF treatment

providers list may be viewed at

http://www.ocfoundation.info/treatment-providers-list.php .

NLM-NIH Drug Information Portal may be viewed at

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l

. IOCDF recommended reading list may be accessed at

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[Guest guest]

Hi Steph,

I haven't posted in ages. I have been working and going to college, so I don't

have much time , but your post sounds like one I could have written myself about

my 14 year old daughter,

I can relate to how you feel. I too, am heartsick and devestated about my

daughter's general outlook in life. All the suidical tendencies and all the

negativity is so exhausting and makes you feel so helpless.

I see that you have gotten many responses, and I am very happy for you that she

is getting better with the ocd, but I also  wanted to let you know you will be

in my thoughts and prayers.

Hugs

Judy

[Guest guest]

I am so sorry to hear about your daughter's suffering and your suffering too. I

too hope and pray she gets better.

There is Dialectrical Behavior Therapy that is

for patients with suicidal thoughts or self destructive

behaviors as a way to cope with extreme distress.

In DBT the patient is taught distress tolerance.

There is skills taught in radical acceptance too.

Meaning to learn to accept and cope with pain in ways

other than suicidal thoughts.

The DBT therapy is usually a team, there is 24 hour

crisis support for the patient, there is group skill training

in emotional regulation and there is 1:1 counseling.

Usually the patient needs to make a commitment to

stay in the program for a period of time and not

miss any sessions. And there is usually ongoing

support.

I found DBT parent training very helpful for me to

cope with my daughter's emotional issues.

The core parent training in DBT is to validate your

child's pain. I still find this hard to do. I still

try to take on more responsibility and try to control

what I know are her triggers. And then I feeling guilty somehow

that I didn't prevent a flare up. In DBT a parent's

" radical acceptance " is that your child lives with pain

and that your child can learn skills to cope. And that

parent's can offer support and encouragement and

most importantly validation on just what a struggle it is and

also to remind the child to live in the present moment

more. At that moment she was talking to you, you were

there to lift her up and she was safe. In that

present moment you shared her pain and provided hope.

That is what is meant in DBT about mindfulness. Your daughter

was feeling down and projecting that she would have no

relief. But she did have relief talking to you. If she

has continued support from you, her family and a therapist that

can teach her these type of skills she will be able to

live a life worth living.

Pam

>

> My 16-year-old daughter, who was hospitalized for suicidal depression and

anxiety a year ago, is doing better with her OCD right now. In fact, she's made

enormous strides in the past year.

>

> But she still feels so negative about her future -- it breaks my heart. She

told me tonight she feels sure she'll be suicidal again and she'll eventually

take her own life. She really has doubts that she'll continue to live for a long

time or that she'll ever be successful at anything and live independently.

>

> I tried to stay positive and upbeat, telling her these fears were normal, and

that her mental health and life are likely to improve. She'll keep getting

better through therapy, good nutrition, exercise, and continued treatment. Her

family will always be there for her. Better medications will be developed.

She'll learn more about managing her " bad thoughts. " And she has so many gifts

and so many exciting things to look forward to. I told her OCD is a bit like

diabetes -- scary, but very manageable with treatment.

>

> Our conversation was pretty postive, but after she went to bed, I started

crying. It's just so damn heartbreaking, and I find myself being furious -- at

the universe I guess -- that her life has been so hard and that we're living our

lives with the fear of losing her. And I wonder if things will ever be better.

>

> On better days, I keep looking forward, I guess, pray a bit, and try to be

positive. But there are nights like this -- I'm just so frightened, angry and

sad, and I feel so powerless.

>

> I know I'm new to this group, and you all don't really know me. I don't have a

point to make or a question to ask. I just wanted to talk to folks who " get it. "

>

> Thanks for listening.

>

> Steph in VA

>

[Guest guest]

Steph -

My daughter was put on a generic form of Prozac. I know so many of the

kids out there do not experience the same success that my daughter has with

meds... but it truly was the key for her. She has a very strong will, too.

She was determined that the OCD would not take over her life... she just

couldn't see it being manageable until after she was on the medication.

Sometimes I don't feel it's fair for me to compare our situation with OCD

to others on the board - because so many kids seem to be having a much more

severe experience. But hope is hope. The level of success (if you can

even call it that... let's say 'break-throughs') seems to be different for

everyone.

Good wishes & prayers coming your way!

LT

In a message dated 5/15/2011 9:37:07 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

momto3feistykids@... writes:

Thank you! That is very encouraging. May I ask what helped your daughter

recover?

I have experienced severe depression and anxiety, and I have tried to

reassure my daughter by telling her that one DOES learn to recognize the signs

before things get unbearable again. I think part of her attitude is that

she believes things will definitely, in time, get back to the lowest point

(when she could no longer bear to live) -- she doesn't see a permanent way

out.

Obviously I can't promise her a " cure " -- but I have a good life partly

because I can recognize the signs that I'm worsening and ask to have meds

adjusted and get support before the train completely jumps off the tracks.:-)

Steph in Staunton, VA

>

> Steph:

>

> Hi. We are also in VA (VaBeach area). My daughter was diagnosed at

13yrs

> with OCD. She turned 20yrs on May 1st and has been away at college for

> two years now and is doing well. Please tell your daughter that there

is

> hope... there is a light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. Every

now &

> then we see some OCD issues try to break through... but thank God she

knows

> what the signs are and knows what to watch for - as we do.

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[Guest guest]

Thank you, Judy. I appreciate your empathy. :-) How is your daughter doing

right now? -- Steph

> Hi Steph,

> I haven't posted in ages. I have been working and going to college, so I

> don't have much time , but your post sounds like one I could have written

> myself about my 14 year old daughter,

>