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Glad to hear something is helping Bonnie! Hope the visit goes well. Remember

to breath on the way home, leaving them can be so hard.

Hugs to you!

Barb

>

> They put Matt on Inderal at the hospital because he's so anxious and having so

many somatic complaints. He says it's helping - update after I see him today.

>

> Bonnie

>

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And how!!! This afternoon, he was extremely anxious and obsessing about

throwing up while I was there. He just walked around with tears falling from

his face. I had the NP look at him and he called me a bit ago saying he felt

better. I swear, I'm about to loose it. How much suffering can a kid take?

I'm starting to feel as though if no one can help him, I'll just take him home

and do the best I can - at least he'll have some happiness in his life.

They say that he's " complicated " and the pdoc at the hospital thinks he will do

better as he gets older (25?). She said he might do better being homeschooled

or in an intensive prgram for a couple of mos. I hate to say it, but I'm

loosing faith in their (the system - schools, hospitals) ability to understansd

him.

I have a very reputable pdoc outsde his school. I think I'll dive into that

resource. You can't give up on a 12 yr old, but what to do?

Bonnie

> >

> > They put Matt on Inderal at the hospital because he's so anxious and having

so many somatic complaints. He says it's helping - update after I see him

today.

> >

> > Bonnie

> >

>

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Bonnie, don't ever give up. My dd is complicated as well. Her main diagnoses are

severe, refractory anxiety, bipolar and Aspergers. We were able to find

stability for her despite being completely unstable and disabled for a long

time. For her, the right meds are absolutely critical as well as her 60 day

intensive inpatient stay. Those were the 2 things that changed her course. What

meds do they have him on? I know they added the Inderal. Have they made any

other med changes, either adding or taking away meds? I really do know how hard

this is. Hugs to you! Stormy

________________________________

To:

Sent: Sat, April 16, 2011 6:55:16 PM

Subject: Re: Very interesting

And how!!! This afternoon, he was extremely anxious and obsessing about

throwing up while I was there. He just walked around with tears falling from

his face. I had the NP look at him and he called me a bit ago saying he felt

better. I swear, I'm about to loose it. How much suffering can a kid take?

I'm starting to feel as though if no one can help him, I'll just take him home

and do the best I can - at least he'll have some happiness in his life.

They say that he's " complicated " and the pdoc at the hospital thinks he will do

better as he gets older (25?). She said he might do better being homeschooled

or in an intensive prgram for a couple of mos. I hate to say it, but I'm

loosing faith in their (the system - schools, hospitals) ability to understansd

him.

I have a very reputable pdocoutsde his school. I think I'll dive into that

resource. You can't give up on a 12 yr old, but what to do?

Bonnie

>

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Hi Bonnie,

So sorry it was a hard visit. I know how hard it is to see them like that, and

then have to leave them. I really felt like I was abandoning our son. But I

knew I needed to give them a chance to see if they could figure anything out.

Even though they really didn't, in our case, it was a step further along, we had

further assessment, and we got referred on to another facility, and then we

needed to wait and see.

Sometimes the answers just aren't available, and take time to come to. Try to

focus on why you took him there, he is safe, he is with experts who may yet find

better answers. The process of this is painful, but there is a reason why he is

there. Hold strong, it will get easier for both of you with time.

On another level, as hard as it is for them, it is a huge level of independence

they are gaining, with this separation from home, and Mum. They get so attached

and dependent because of the anxiety and OCD, it is something that needs to

shift eventually. Just trying to find a possible positive in it Bonnie, I doubt

it is how you feel at the moment, hope I don't offend.

I found I was the one our son would express everything with, good and bad. He

would wait for me and then let it all out. From an emotional standpoint I think

it's pretty common that Mum is their safe place, so we see the worst of it, and

know intimately the pain of it all for them. It can be very hard on us. It's

best to not take any of it personally, or to take it on as something to solve,

they are suffering and we are the one they can share this with.

Is he is ok when you are not there? I mean obviously it's all hard and he's not

well, but from their standpoint is he adjusting ok. It took our son a couple

weeks to adapt, to any extent, not that he was happy to be there at all.

I recommend you make yourself focus on anything other than your son right now.

I know that sounds impossible, and it is really, but you need to try. Take this

time for yourself. Read, watch movies, go for a walk, make yourself focus on

anything else. Thinking and worrying is not going to achieve anything, and will

only use up this time that you have, and need to use to refill your own energy

reserves. You must look after yourself Bonnie.

Even if you are not overly happy with what is happening at the hospital you need

to give it a chance. Don't bring him home unless you are absolutely certain

that his remaining there will achieve nothing. You must exhaust this

possibility and be sure you have really given it a chance. Hold them

accountable to do something or find something that will help your son. If that

is to be inpatient at a facility, then consider that seriously.

Remember how bad things have been. You need them to help you find the answers.

This is but one step towards that. It may not be the final one.

Sending you a very BIG HUG Bonnie! Keep breathing. I'm here if you want to

talk offline too.

Barb

> > >

> > > They put Matt on Inderal at the hospital because he's so anxious and

having so many somatic complaints. He says it's helping - update after I see

him today.

> > >

> > > Bonnie

> > >

> >

>

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Interesing choice, Inderal. Isn't that a beta blocker?

They gave it to me once for my heart and I didn't tolerate it well. I'm glad

it's helping him some. Did he say how it's helping? Is it making him feel less

anxious?

I can sure understand why you feel you are about to lose it. <sigh>

It's hard and frustrating when nobody has answers. . .

Poor . I pray things settle back down for him. He did well before and my

hope is that he will again, soon.

Hugs,

BJ

> > >

> > > They put Matt on Inderal at the hospital because he's so anxious and

having so many somatic complaints. He says it's helping - update after I see

him today.

> > >

> > > Bonnie

> > >

> >

>

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I was prescribed Inderal to help me deal with performance/stage fright

(stressful school meetings, where my heart would be racing in

anticipation...I'm generally okay once I get going). It is commonly

prescribed for this. Once a person's heart starts racing, it can trigger a

panic attack. The inderal prevents the racing heart, which in turn controls

the panic.

Fay

>

>

> Interesing choice, Inderal. Isn't that a beta blocker?

>

> They gave it to me once for my heart and I didn't tolerate it well. I'm

> glad it's helping him some. Did he say how it's helping? Is it making him

> feel less anxious?

>

> I can sure understand why you feel you are about to lose it. <sigh>

>

> It's hard and frustrating when nobody has answers. . .

>

> Poor . I pray things settle back down for him. He did well before

> and my hope is that he will again, soon.

>

> Hugs,

> BJ

>

>

> > > >

> > > > They put Matt on Inderal at the hospital because he's so anxious and

> having so many somatic complaints. He says it's helping - update after I see

> him today.

> > > >

> > > > Bonnie

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

>

>

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Yes, some famous musicians use it for performance anxiety. Never thought to use

it for Matt. Bad news is, it isn't helping.

Bonnie

> > > > >

> > > > > They put Matt on Inderal at the hospital because he's so anxious and

> > having so many somatic complaints. He says it's helping - update after I see

> > him today.

> > > > >

> > > > > Bonnie

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

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Bonnie, how long has it been since he's been on no medication at all? Just

wondering what he's like without meds, what's it called - baseline?

>

> And how!!! This afternoon, he was extremely anxious and obsessing about

throwing up while I was there. He just walked around with tears falling from

his face. I had the NP look at him and he called me a bit ago saying he felt

better. I swear, I'm about to loose it. How much suffering can a kid take?

I'm starting to feel as though if

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Bonnie, what makes his OCD complicated? Does he have to have his

mood stabized first to use antidepressants? Is he considered more like a child

with a developmental disorder that needs all his doses kept low.

Has he been on a mood stabizer. I understand that kids with developmental

disorders that anti-convulstant drugs work well for

mood stabizers has he tried any? (Dr. Hollander's clinical studies)

If his mood stabized so he is not irritable/explosive?

Is it then anxiety/depression that needs treatment or

mood too?

I do think Dr. Hollander seems to have a very methodical

process for treatment, or at least his book

presents like that.

Could it be that your son needs his medications

adjusted very slowly and given much time.

My last thought is did he take time off from school

this winter when he was anxious or did he push himself?

How many days off did he have? I wonder if he would cope

better to only leave for school when he feels calm

enough even if it means partial days.

Schools find partial days unacceptable, and psychiatrists

don't want to approve such a plan.

Does your son have any deficits in processing speed, executive

function this type of kids get overwhelmed and break down

and does best on partial days.

I would have thought a therapuetic school would be

very slow paced and reassuring but I see from my

niece's experience they are very aggressive about

having her increase her pace of exposures. She is

not use to such an aggressive approach. But she is

highly avoidant and like my daughter sets her own

pace that amounts to 1 or 2 hours a day of school.

Pam

> > > > > >

> > > > > > They put Matt on Inderal at the hospital because he's so anxious and

> > > having so many somatic complaints. He says it's helping - update after I

see

> > > him today.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Bonnie

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

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What I've been told is that has an anxiety disorder, mood dysrgeulation,

and some developmental issues. The pdoc at the hospital said that she would

expect to catch up neurologically into adulthood and that this would

impact his psychological functioning. She said that she though he would do well

home schooled for a couple of years or in an intensive treatment plan (but not

more than 6 weeks or so).

I'm not sure what to think of his therapeutic school. He hates it. They're

good about gradual reintegration to school, but I am concerned with whether it's

the right place for him. The pdoc there is just not as responsive as I would

need him to be with a kid like whose condition can deteriorate so

rapidly. There is no all day intervention for Matt when he loosing it at school

- which seems odd. It appears to me that they treat the kids there and address

behavioral issues at their pace, but whe things get heated, they only intervene

to the extent that they think is enough and then recommend hospitalization.

They don't make med changes more than every 2 weeks or so. That doesn't make

sense to me that he should suffer all that time. It'll take him months to

recover.

has been on every kind of mood stabilizer (even hospitalized on Lamictal

and trileptal). What I am seeing right now is not mood dysregulation (though it

was on admission). He's obsessive about throwing up and he having panic

symptoms and developing agoraphobia. They are treating his anxiety with

Wellbutrin. I am waiting to hear from Dr. Hollander again. I defintiely think

that he needs low dose meds (esp AP's), waiting to tell the doc that

Poor kid is missing Passover and our vacation. His hamster died while he was

away and I didn't tell him. Bought a new one that looks like the old one. My

daughter didn't notice, so I'm not saying anything. I cooked all evening so

that I can bring him some Passover today. I have to do some quick thinking

because I'm not sure how much longer I can make the 150mi round trip every day -

if he's not getting better, I'd rather take him home because they don't do

longterm treatment there.

Thanks for listening.

Bonnie

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > They put Matt on Inderal at the hospital because he's so anxious

and

> > > > having so many somatic complaints. He says it's helping - update after I

see

> > > > him today.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Bonnie

> > > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

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Dear Bonnie,

How do you do it ? I am amazed by all that you do for your family...... good

thinking with the hamster!!!!!

All the best to you all

Ivalo

________________________________

To:

Sent: Mon, April 18, 2011 3:20:31 PM

Subject: Re: Very interesting

What I've been told is that has an anxiety disorder, mood dysrgeulation,

and some developmental issues. The pdoc at the hospital said that she would

expect to catch up neurologically into adulthood and that this would

impact his psychological functioning. She said that she though he would do well

home schooled for a couple of years or in an intensive treatment plan (but not

more than 6 weeks or so).

I'm not sure what to think of his therapeutic school. He hates it. They're

good about gradual reintegration to school, but I am concerned with whether it's

the right place for him. The pdoc there is just not as responsive as I would

need him to be with a kid like whose condition can deteriorate so

rapidly. There is no all day intervention for Matt when he loosing it at school

- which seems odd. It appears to me that they treat the kids there and address

behavioral issues at their pace, but whe things get heated, they only intervene

to the extent that they think is enough and then recommend hospitalization.

They don't make med changes more than every 2 weeks or so. That doesn't make

sense to me that he should suffer all that time. It'll take him months to

recover.

has been on every kind of mood stabilizer (even hospitalized on Lamictal

and trileptal). What I am seeing right now is not mood dysregulation (though it

was on admission). He's obsessive about throwing up and he having panic

symptoms and developing agoraphobia. They are treating his anxiety with

Wellbutrin. I am waiting to hear from Dr. Hollander again. I defintiely think

that he needs low dose meds (esp AP's), waiting to tell the doc that

Poor kid is missing Passover and our vacation. His hamster died while he was

away and I didn't tell him. Bought a new one that looks like the old one. My

daughter didn't notice, so I'm not saying anything. I cooked all evening so

that I can bring him some Passover today. I have to do some quick thinking

because I'm not sure how much longer I can make the 150mi round trip every day -

if he's not getting better, I'd rather take him home because they don't do

longterm treatment there.

Thanks for listening.

Bonnie

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > They put Matt on Inderal at the hospital because he's so anxious

>and

> > > > having so many somatic complaints. He says it's helping - update after I

>see

> > > > him today.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Bonnie

> > > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

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dear bonnie

just dropping a line to you...just to say you are such a good mum...and i wish

your son gets better...may GOD bless him...and help him to get better...my heart

goes out to you...i know how you feel...may GOD give you the stregth and the

help that you need..

hugsss

alida

To:

From: ivalookking@...

Date: Mon, 18 Apr 2011 06:53:43 -0700

Subject: Re: Re: Very interesting

Dear Bonnie,

How do you do it ? I am amazed by all that you do for your family...... good

thinking with the hamster!!!!!

All the best to you all

Ivalo

________________________________

To:

Sent: Mon, April 18, 2011 3:20:31 PM

Subject: Re: Very interesting

What I've been told is that has an anxiety disorder, mood dysrgeulation,

and some developmental issues. The pdoc at the hospital said that she would

expect to catch up neurologically into adulthood and that this would

impact his psychological functioning. She said that she though he would do well

home schooled for a couple of years or in an intensive treatment plan (but not

more than 6 weeks or so).

I'm not sure what to think of his therapeutic school. He hates it. They're

good about gradual reintegration to school, but I am concerned with whether it's

the right place for him. The pdoc there is just not as responsive as I would

need him to be with a kid like whose condition can deteriorate so

rapidly. There is no all day intervention for Matt when he loosing it at school

- which seems odd. It appears to me that they treat the kids there and address

behavioral issues at their pace, but whe things get heated, they only intervene

to the extent that they think is enough and then recommend hospitalization.

They don't make med changes more than every 2 weeks or so. That doesn't make

sense to me that he should suffer all that time. It'll take him months to

recover.

has been on every kind of mood stabilizer (even hospitalized on Lamictal

and trileptal). What I am seeing right now is not mood dysregulation (though it

was on admission). He's obsessive about throwing up and he having panic

symptoms and developing agoraphobia. They are treating his anxiety with

Wellbutrin. I am waiting to hear from Dr. Hollander again. I defintiely think

that he needs low dose meds (esp AP's), waiting to tell the doc that

Poor kid is missing Passover and our vacation. His hamster died while he was

away and I didn't tell him. Bought a new one that looks like the old one. My

daughter didn't notice, so I'm not saying anything. I cooked all evening so

that I can bring him some Passover today. I have to do some quick thinking

because I'm not sure how much longer I can make the 150mi round trip every day -

if he's not getting better, I'd rather take him home because they don't do

longterm treatment there.

Thanks for listening.

Bonnie

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > They put Matt on Inderal at the hospital because he's so anxious

>and

> > > > having so many somatic complaints. He says it's helping - update after I

>see

> > > > him today.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Bonnie

> > > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

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Thanks Alida - we need all the blessings we can get!

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > They put Matt on Inderal at the hospital because he's so anxious

> >and

> > > > > having so many somatic complaints. He says it's helping - update after

I

> >see

> > > > > him today.

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > Bonnie

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

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Thanks, but I think all us moms have it in us. Remember the newborn night

feedings we miraculously got through? It's kind of like that only more

worrisome. Nothing too much I can do to help my kids.

Bonnie

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > They put Matt on Inderal at the hospital because he's so anxious

> >and

> > > > > having so many somatic complaints. He says it's helping - update after

I

> >see

> > > > > him today.

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > Bonnie

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

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