Re: Refusal to go to school

[Guest guest]

,

Your daughter sounds very similar to my 11yr old daughter. Karlie was diagnosed

4 years ago with OCD. She takes 60mg Fluxotene, Concerta, and Clonezapam. Her

OCD issue is primarily germs. She has missed much school from anxiety. At times

she absolutely refuses to go to school at all. More often, in class she will be

afraid of losing control and this will develop into an anxiety attack and she

will go to the office, school nurse, school nurse or school counselor. Sometimes

she will refuse to return to class. She has an IEP but I am in disagreement with

all of the adults involved as to what direction her school accomodations should

take. I believe she needs less stress for her education to be successful. Then

the OCD therapy can take place outside of school. Her school Psychologist,

school counselor, Special Ed. representative, Mother, Psychotherapist and

Medication Physician believe Karlie needs " more structure " at school. For

example: Two passes per week to leave a class when stressed and a time limit in

the office when taking a break. Being a teenage girl in middle school is

stressful enough, but then you add OCD and an anxiety disorder and I think it is

too much to expect of them. I agree with you that homeschooling is a good option

for the rest of the school year. I dont want to force my daughter to be in

school if it is so intensely upsetting that she feels helpless and hopeless. You

have to do what you think is best for your daughter. Some will agree and some

will disagree. Bruce

________________________________

To:

Sent: Tue, January 4, 2011 7:17:44 PM

Subject: Refusal to go to school

My 13yr old daughter has struggled with OCD and generalized anxiety disorder for

over 3 years now (diagnosed although symptoms were presenting prior). She takes

Celexa, Lamictal, and is now on Trazadone at night. She has a fear of vomiting

(herself or others)and germs are a major issue for her. Last year she missed 18

days of school due to an outbreak of the stomach bug and fear of being around

it. Once we got her on the proper meds, she returned with no problem--although

the same rituals existed (hour long shower when getting home from school, not

touching school items, etc.) In early December, problems were escalating and we

were faced with similar issues.Grades were slipping and major loss of focus

because all she could see were " little black dots of the bug everywhere around

her at school " and she couldn't get away from them. Afraid to talk so she didn't

open her mouth, etc. So, her dr. suggested letting her stay home again until

after Xmas break and a visit with her new therapist. She is still refusing to

go to school and has really dug her heels in. The dr. says not to force

her...either put her into home/hospital tutoring or homeschool her ourselves.

Husband is adament that she needs to be in school but I am leaning towards

homeschooling for the rest of this year. Just looking for others who have been

faced with the school dilemma. There seems to be a fine line...I don't want to

give in but don't know if it will be beneficial for her to be in school if she

cannot get past all other issues. Feeling frustrated and lost!!!!

[Guest guest]

My daughter is 17 and was out of school for 2 years due to OCD (as well

as sensory problems and aspergers). She did some cyber school and then

was not able to even do that because of perfectionism ocd so we began

" homeschooling " her but she could not even open a book or type an

assignment so we concentrated on hands on things that she was interested

in - gardening and building a computer. Anyway - we started homeopathic

treatment during that time and she very slowly became able to tolerate

more things and this year started a vo tech program for 3 hours. Two

days ago, she added to that by starting at the high school with an IEP.

She is now taking algebra 2 and she works on a computer in a learning

resource room. So she is very slowly regaining her life. The IEP is

crafted to evaluate her each quarter and try to add another class as she

can tolerate it.

I would definitely get an IEP or a 504 for her and perhaps they can find

out with her help what will work for her. Perhaps she will need to be

tutored at home until she can tolerate more. It is just impossible to

learn when the anxiety level is that high. We kind of left the " system "

and I am sorry that we did as there is a lot of help within the system

if you learn how to stand up for yourself and what you need. I found it

really difficult to try to school her myself and felt all the

responsibility for that was very heavy on my shoulders. Once we entered

the system again - but really stood up for what we felt she needed - and

allowed her to also tell them what she needed - things are working

better with school. I am surprised at the flexibility that an IEP will

allow.

I have to say that I believe the turnaround for my daughter has come

with working with a classical homeopath. We have not had her on

medication except for a very short trial. She still has OCD but seems

able to suspend it for what she needs to do at school. She still comes

home and washes up and actually has more problems at home than when she

is out but she is happier and has set some goals for herself - she has

begun exercising - then wants to learn to drive and then to meditate. I

am very happy with her progress. We have gone from almost going the

residential treatment route to this.

Sandy

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[Guest guest]

I know how difficult this is for both of you.

Both my daughter and niece have anxiety disorders and refused to go to school.

My daughter had an IEP in place and when she flat out refused to go

to school, we had her on home instruction within about 8 week(at the school

after hours) and within 6 months she was placed in a special needs school. My

daughter has learning issues and could not do work

at home. So homeschool was not an option.

My niece is 16, did not have any accomodations at school and intially was

treated as truant. Once she got a psychiatrist involved they

had her put on home instruction. It took about a year to

get the school to agree to find a theraupetic school.

She had to go through the whole IEP process and the school

wanted her to try special ed classes (she refused to go to that

too). My niece seems to like to work online classes, but both the

therapist and psychiatrist feel that if she stays home she won't

be able to function (get a job, go to college) so they are

all for having her go to a theraupetic school.

I think every state has to have a safe placement for kids with

emotional issues. Once you leave a school system you will

not have support. I would press them to provide home instruction and

help you with this. The work load can be way reduced to help her cope.

It will be good for her to keep some people in her life from school.

Pam

-- In , " JESREB2 " wrote:

>

> My 13yr old daughter has struggled with OCD and generalized anxiety disorder

for over 3 years now (diagnosed although symptoms were presenting prior). She

takes Celexa, Lamictal, and is now on Trazadone at night. She has a fear of

vomiting (herself or others)and germs are a major issue for her. Last year she

missed 18 days of school due to an outbreak of the stomach bug and fear of being

around it. Once we got her on the proper meds, she returned with no

problem--although the same rituals existed (hour long shower when getting home

from school, not touching school items, etc.) In early December, problems were

escalating and we were faced with similar issues.Grades were slipping and major

loss of focus because all she could see were " little black dots of the bug

everywhere around her at school " and she couldn't get away from them. Afraid to

talk so she didn't open her mouth, etc. So, her dr. suggested letting her stay

home again until after Xmas break and a visit with her new therapist. She is

still refusing to go to school and has really dug her heels in. The dr. says not

to force her...either put her into home/hospital tutoring or homeschool her

ourselves. Husband is adament that she needs to be in school but I am leaning

towards homeschooling for the rest of this year. Just looking for others who

have been faced with the school dilemma. There seems to be a fine line...I don't

want to give in but don't know if it will be beneficial for her to be in school

if she cannot get past all other issues. Feeling frustrated and lost!!!!

>

[Guest guest]

Homeschooling is an excellent (and valid) option for kids who are struggling

with anxiety, etc.. But, you would need to make sure she has ongoing exposure

therapy or else the germ issue will get worse and worse over time and she will

eventually not ever want to leave the house at all. So if you choose

homeschooling, make sure she is getting proper therapy outside of the home.

To get your hubby on board with homeschooling, let him know that it's a " trial

run " and give him a time frame of how long this trial will be. Then he won't

have it in his mind that it's a permanent decision. Have a plan in place for

exposure therapy and let him know about it. Also, have a plan in place for

socializing. Your nearest city should have an excellent homeschooling

community. Just do a search at the yahoo groups home page

http://groups.yahoo.com

We are long-time homeschoolers and my 13yr old daughter with OCD just started

school for the first time ever about 3 months ago. She is doing great and is

not fearing germs too much (she's been on Zoloft for over a year now with great

results) and all of her other OCD symptoms have also diminished. We also did

some biomedical interventions too though (gluten free diet, etc.).

Good luck!

Misty

________________________________

To:

Sent: Tue, January 4, 2011 9:17:44 PM

Subject: Refusal to go to school

My 13yr old daughter has struggled with OCD and generalized anxiety disorder for

over 3 years now (diagnosed although symptoms were presenting prior). She takes

Celexa, Lamictal, and is now on Trazadone at night. She has a fear of vomiting

(herself or others)and germs are a major issue for her. Last year she missed 18

days of school due to an outbreak of the stomach bug and fear of being around

it. Once we got her on the proper meds, she returned with no problem--although

the same rituals existed (hour long shower when getting home from school, not

touching school items, etc.) In early December, problems were escalating and we

were faced with similar issues.Grades were slipping and major loss of focus

because all she could see were " little black dots of the bug everywhere around

her at school " and she couldn't get away from them. Afraid to talk so she didn't

open her mouth, etc. So, her dr. suggested letting her stay home again until

after Xmas break and a visit with her new therapist. She is still refusing to

go to school and has really dug her heels in. The dr. says not to force

her...either put her into home/hospital tutoring or homeschool her ourselves.

Husband is adament that she needs to be in school but I am leaning towards

homeschooling for the rest of this year. Just looking for others who have been

faced with the school dilemma. There seems to be a fine line...I don't want to

give in but don't know if it will be beneficial for her to be in school if she

cannot get past all other issues. Feeling frustrated and lost!!!!

[Guest guest]

I think that in the very least, she needs a gradual reintegration back to

school...a couple of hours a day and gradually increse till she is attending

every day. This should be implemented along side home bound instruction. She

also needs a point person at the school (if not an aide) whom she can connect

with and who can speak with her therapist...same person every day. It is vital

not to push too hard at first and to provide much needed support. In my

experience, public schools don't really understand children with severe anxiety,

but if you have one or two people there who do, it can work. We pay extremely

high taxes that support our schools directly and we have a blue ribbon district

and still we met resistance. You might also look to private schooling because

it is important to be in school if at all possible.

School districts do not want to send kids out of district and pay for aides,

ect...Do your research about private schools and how to get a paraprofessional

enlisting your doctor's or therapist's input) and then take action. If the

district balks at it, I would advise getting an advocate or lawyer right off...

If they know you mean business, perhaps they won't waste time. Make sure your

doctor and therapist support your decision and I think it'll be easier.

I went through years of struggles and was able to find the flexibility we needed

in the school system. In the end, it just wasn't enough and what I was

providing privately wasn't enough and so my son is in a therapeutic school. The

school personnel will actually come to my house to help him get to school, and

we have a hotline I can call during nonschool hours for anything. That alone

for me is worth the taxes I pay.

Best wishes,

Bonnie

>

> My 13yr old daughter has struggled with OCD and generalized anxiety disorder

for over 3 years now (diagnosed although symptoms were presenting prior). She

takes Celexa, Lamictal, and is now on Trazadone at night. She has a fear of

vomiting (herself or others)and germs are a major issue for her. Last year she

missed 18 days of school due to an outbreak of the stomach bug and fear of being

around it. Once we got her on the proper meds, she returned with no

problem--although the same rituals existed (hour long shower when getting home

from school, not touching school items, etc.) In early December, problems were

escalating and we were faced with similar issues.Grades were slipping and major

loss of focus because all she could see were " little black dots of the bug

everywhere around her at school " and she couldn't get away from them. Afraid to

talk so she didn't open her mouth, etc. So, her dr. suggested letting her stay

home again until after Xmas break and a visit with her new therapist. She is

still refusing to go to school and has really dug her heels in. The dr. says not

to force her...either put her into home/hospital tutoring or homeschool her

ourselves. Husband is adament that she needs to be in school but I am leaning

towards homeschooling for the rest of this year. Just looking for others who

have been faced with the school dilemma. There seems to be a fine line...I don't

want to give in but don't know if it will be beneficial for her to be in school

if she cannot get past all other issues. Feeling frustrated and lost!!!!

>

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

You already have some very good replies. I mostly wanted to add my

encouragement that you do what you think is right for your child, while

considering all the options available. What does your gut tell you to do?

We also went through this, and lost almost 2 years. Homebound instruction was

not possible, because our son would not have anyone in the house, and anyway,

2-3hrs a week would not have done much for our child (serious LD issues).

We tried private school, and it was a good environment, small, flexible,

supportive; but the OCD was just too severe plus medication issues, so very

little school work was accomplished. However, we took the approach that it was

better that our son stay directed and had somewhere to go every day, even though

he could not always get there. So, it was a place for our son to be, and a

degree of " normal " .

Eventually our son was hospitalized, and then went on to a partial

hospitalization program. Again, this was somewhere for our son to have to get

up and go to, that's about all I can say about our experience with this - not

ideal, but it was something rather than nothing. When our son became completely

fed up with this program, we opted out and he returned to the private school,

where he finally completed some courses. Again hit and miss, but he was less

severe with the OCD so at least functional somewhat.

After two years he had accomplished a total of 6 credits/courses towards high

school - most of this accomplished in the first 2 months when he went full time

to school, and the remainder was done in credit recovery in all the various

places mentioned. He then entered an alternative school, within the school

board, that caters to the needs of kids with various issues. School is half

days only, they work at their own pace on one course at a time, this suited our

son quite well. Our son is now finishing high school by doing co-oping -

working at jobs under a school program that gives credit for this.

It has been a long and winding road.... I often despaired whether our son would

ever be able to finish school. When the OCD is severe and the anxiety so high

the focus needs to be on modifying things to help reduce this, while still

" moving " in some fashion.

You are right, it IS a fine line between trying to maintain some " normal " and

keeping them directed, and needing to modify things to support their anxiety.

We found the environment the critical piece, always, and still do. If you can

surround your daughter with a supportive network at school and modify her

program so she has flexibility perhaps this can work. The only way to find out

is to try something, and keep trying things until you find something that works.

As others have mentioned, staying home can work, if you can keep her moving and

doing, so she doesn't completely shut down and avoid. We found this the least

favorable solution, but it was necessary for a time when things were most

severe. It really depends on your daughter's ability to function.

You are also hitting the teen years where they do " dig in " , and you really

cannot " make them " . It is important to be respectful of their feelings on all

of it, and to let them keep making decisions, as they have lost control to the

OCD, and need to feel they have control over something - sometimes this will

then be directed at you, so pushing them can really backfire... They are

already being " told " by the OCD all day long and cannot push it back, but they

can push back on you!

I feel for you, this is a really tough thing to struggle with. We had a long,

painful couple years over this. In the end I let go of any " goals " or " normal " ,

and just rolled with what was possible, and with the focus of simply " moving "

whether forward or not - lots of sideways! For our kid, feeling that HE was

deciding was important, and not backing him into a corner but having

flexibility, and searching out options. In the end, he is the one who has to

decide to DO what he needs to, and HOW he can do it, so he can live beyond the

OCD, whether it's school or other.

Having said all that, when they are well enough, I do push/nudge! Sometimes

this IS needed, but it's all in how you do it, and when there is trust and

understanding behind it.

Ok, that got really long, think I relived those 2 years! All the best with this

. Keep us posted on what you figure out!

WArmly,

Barb

>

> My 13yr old daughter has struggled with OCD and generalized anxiety disorder

for over 3 years now (diagnosed although symptoms were presenting prior). She

takes Celexa, Lamictal, and is now on Trazadone at night. She has a fear of

vomiting (herself or others)and germs are a major issue for her. Last year she

missed 18 days of school due to an outbreak of the stomach bug and fear of being

around it. Once we got her on the proper meds, she returned with no

problem--although the same rituals existed (hour long shower when getting home

from school, not touching school items, etc.) In early December, problems were

escalating and we were faced with similar issues.Grades were slipping and major

loss of focus because all she could see were " little black dots of the bug

everywhere around her at school " and she couldn't get away from them. Afraid to

talk so she didn't open her mouth, etc. So, her dr. suggested letting her stay

home again until after Xmas break and a visit with her new therapist. She is

still refusing to go to school and has really dug her heels in. The dr. says not

to force her...either put her into home/hospital tutoring or homeschool her

ourselves. Husband is adament that she needs to be in school but I am leaning

towards homeschooling for the rest of this year. Just looking for others who

have been faced with the school dilemma. There seems to be a fine line...I don't

want to give in but don't know if it will be beneficial for her to be in school

if she cannot get past all other issues. Feeling frustrated and lost!!!!

>

[Guest guest]

Hi !

I am just finally jumping back on the board here after taking a month or

so off, so I'm sorry if I'm repeating what others have said. School

refusal is kind of a hot topic and everyone's experience and advice is

different. I'm just going to share what has worked for our child.

I have a 15 yr. old daughter that has OCD that centers around vomiting.

It started at age 7, so we've been through all sorts of things in the

past 8 years. Lots of ups and downs. After my experience, I'll share a

couple of things. My daughter has a VERY difficult time attending

school when her meds aren't working right. Very anxious, constant

thoughts about vomiting. She's not refusing school, she actually loves

it. She is terrified of being at school and throwing up. So, once her

meds are working well, she happily goes off to school. Now that I know

this and have stopped listening to the " experts " about school refusal

and how I need to " make " her go, everything is better. She has missed

some school, but not much in the scheme of things and hasn't missed any

school last year or this year since starting high school. If she isn't

able to go, I would make sure I was getting her on the path to attend by

going to therapy or increasing/switching meds so you both know that's

the goal in the end. YOU KNOW YOUR CHILD! Go with your gut instinct.

I was listening to psychiatrists and school counselors that did not know

my child like I did and were trying to help, but didn't know what was

going on in her head, or here at home. Once I figured my child's

anxiety and needs out for myself, I became a great advocate for her.

I know I had a few other thoughts, but was interrupted and now I can't

remember! Age! :-) I'll jump back in when I think of what else I was

going to add.

Let us know what you decide--no right or wrong here.

Take care,

Dina

[Guest guest]

I cannot begin to tell you how much I appreciate everyone's posts. More than

anything, to know that I am not alone in this struggle. She does have a 504 plan

for extra time, frequent breaks, etc. and that works for her when she will go.

I will definitely take all of your input into consideration. Thanks so much!

*My daughter also has the vomiting issue. Unfortunately, it is about being

around it or doing it is bad luck so washing germs away is only a piece of what

she goes through. She cannot wear those particular clothes/shoes anymore, sit in

that same seat, etc.

>

> Hi !

>

> I am just finally jumping back on the board here after taking a month or

> so off, so I'm sorry if I'm repeating what others have said. School

> refusal is kind of a hot topic and everyone's experience and advice is

> different. I'm just going to share what has worked for our child.

>

> I have a 15 yr. old daughter that has OCD that centers around vomiting.

> It started at age 7, so we've been through all sorts of things in the

> past 8 years. Lots of ups and downs. After my experience, I'll share a

> couple of things. My daughter has a VERY difficult time attending

> school when her meds aren't working right. Very anxious, constant

> thoughts about vomiting. She's not refusing school, she actually loves

> it. She is terrified of being at school and throwing up. So, once her

> meds are working well, she happily goes off to school. Now that I know

> this and have stopped listening to the " experts " about school refusal

> and how I need to " make " her go, everything is better. She has missed

> some school, but not much in the scheme of things and hasn't missed any

> school last year or this year since starting high school. If she isn't

> able to go, I would make sure I was getting her on the path to attend by

> going to therapy or increasing/switching meds so you both know that's

> the goal in the end. YOU KNOW YOUR CHILD! Go with your gut instinct.

> I was listening to psychiatrists and school counselors that did not know

> my child like I did and were trying to help, but didn't know what was

> going on in her head, or here at home. Once I figured my child's

> anxiety and needs out for myself, I became a great advocate for her.

>

> I know I had a few other thoughts, but was interrupted and now I can't

> remember! Age! :-) I'll jump back in when I think of what else I was

> going to add.

>

> Let us know what you decide--no right or wrong here.

> Take care,

> Dina

>

[Guest guest]

Hi, .

My husband was the same about homeschooling, until we started doing it. He

thought our son would be isolated, since he was an only child. But, once he saw

how well it worked for us, he was won over.

We homeschooled for 11 years. It was a HUGE blessing to us. It gave us the

flexibility to work on the OCD, keep appointments, etc.

Many falsely think kids homeschooled will not be socialized. We found that to

not be true, at all. There are many things to be involved in to keep that from

happening, including homeschool groups.

If she's avoiding, due to contamination fears, she needs to work on overcoming

those. But, I will say, our son never got sick anymore, once we pulled him out

of school.

School refusal is a commmon problem for kids with anxiety disorders. There are

different solutions. It's just a matter of figuring out what can work for you.

BJ

>

> My 13yr old daughter has struggled with OCD and generalized anxiety disorder

for over 3 years now (diagnosed although symptoms were presenting prior). She

takes Celexa, Lamictal, and is now on Trazadone at night. She has a fear of

vomiting (herself or others)and germs are a major issue for her. Last year she

missed 18 days of school due to an outbreak of the stomach bug and fear of being

around it. Once we got her on the proper meds, she returned with no

problem--although the same rituals existed (hour long shower when getting home

from school, not touching school items, etc.) In early December, problems were

escalating and we were faced with similar issues.Grades were slipping and major

loss of focus because all she could see were " little black dots of the bug

everywhere around her at school " and she couldn't get away from them. Afraid to

talk so she didn't open her mouth, etc. So, her dr. suggested letting her stay

home again until after Xmas break and a visit with her new therapist. She is

still refusing to go to school and has really dug her heels in. The dr. says not

to force her...either put her into home/hospital tutoring or homeschool her

ourselves. Husband is adament that she needs to be in school but I am leaning

towards homeschooling for the rest of this year. Just looking for others who

have been faced with the school dilemma. There seems to be a fine line...I don't

want to give in but don't know if it will be beneficial for her to be in school

if she cannot get past all other issues. Feeling frustrated and lost!!!!

>

[Guest guest]

Well - I was all excited about my daughter adding some high school time to her

school schedule. She was doing really well going to the vo tech school for

computer programming - was able to ride the bus and even eat in the cafeteria

and feels comfortable and safe there. By the third day at the high school where

she is doing a credit recovery program on a computer, they had triggered her OCD

bigtime and she refused to go in the fourth day. I let her sleep and started

emailing and calling and trying to explain to the emotional support person who

is " helping " her, exactly what happened as he seemed to be clueless and had not

even noticed that she was upset and was trying to teach her not to " talk back "

when she was trying to tell him what she needed.

Went in the next day and we toured the school, looking for a location that might

feel safe to her. Meanwhile he had lost my daughter who was wandering the school

looking for him and for her one other contact who was not in that day. After a

bit of a comedy of chasing around the school we found her and I found a room

that seemed suitable - small, with a special ed learning resource teacher who is

a math teacher (she is working on Algebra 2). This location was never even

suggested - we did not see it until I asked " aren't there some other learning

support classrooms that were mentioned in the IEP meeting? "

I think what happened is that her IEP has labeled her as emotionally disturbed

so she was automatically shunted into the emotional support classroom which is

where the kids who are acting out are sent. On this third day, 2 kids had come

in angy and acting out and she really freaked out (she has sensory problems, and

a general sensitivity in that she picks up on other people's feelings).

I really hope we can salvage this and she can regroup and find a place that

feels safe to her. It just makes me grind my teeth, that there is so little

common sense from the " professionals " . In the IEP we defined exactly what she

needed! At vo tech, her regular classroom teacher who has no special ed training

has handled her beautifully and obviously really cares about her and she reponds

to that. At the high school there is this general attitude that every kid needs

to be squashed down and is a disciplinary threat. No attempt to make her feel

safe and accommodate her true needs before they assume she is going to make

trouble.

OK - will stop ranting now.

Sandy

[Guest guest]

Good grief, Sandy. . .So sorry it's gone so badly. Rant away. I would too.

Hugs,

BJ

>

> Well - I was all excited about my daughter adding some high school time to her

school schedule. She was doing really well going to the vo tech school for

computer programming - was able to ride the bus and even eat in the cafeteria

and feels comfortable and safe there. By the third day at the high school where

she is doing a credit recovery program on a computer, they had triggered her OCD

bigtime and she refused to go in the fourth day. I let her sleep and started

emailing and calling and trying to explain to the emotional support person who

is " helping " her, exactly what happened as he seemed to be clueless and had not

even noticed that she was upset and was trying to teach her not to " talk back "

when she was trying to tell him what she needed.

>

> Went in the next day and we toured the school, looking for a location that

might feel safe to her. Meanwhile he had lost my daughter who was wandering the

school looking for him and for her one other contact who was not in that day.

After a bit of a comedy of chasing around the school we found her and I found a

room that seemed suitable - small, with a special ed learning resource teacher

who is a math teacher (she is working on Algebra 2). This location was never

even suggested - we did not see it until I asked " aren't there some other

learning support classrooms that were mentioned in the IEP meeting? "

>

> I think what happened is that her IEP has labeled her as emotionally disturbed

so she was automatically shunted into the emotional support classroom which is

where the kids who are acting out are sent. On this third day, 2 kids had come

in angy and acting out and she really freaked out (she has sensory problems, and

a general sensitivity in that she picks up on other people's feelings).

>

> I really hope we can salvage this and she can regroup and find a place that

feels safe to her. It just makes me grind my teeth, that there is so little

common sense from the " professionals " . In the IEP we defined exactly what she

needed! At vo tech, her regular classroom teacher who has no special ed training

has handled her beautifully and obviously really cares about her and she reponds

to that. At the high school there is this general attitude that every kid needs

to be squashed down and is a disciplinary threat. No attempt to make her feel

safe and accommodate her true needs before they assume she is going to make

trouble.

>

> OK - will stop ranting now.

>

> Sandy

>

[Guest guest]

So many people (including those who work with children everyday) just don't get

it, do they?

Hugs

Bonnie

> >

> > Well - I was all excited about my daughter adding some high school time to

her school schedule. She was doing really well going to the vo tech school for

computer programming - was able to ride the bus and even eat in the cafeteria

and feels comfortable and safe there. By the third day at the high school where

she is doing a credit recovery program on a computer, they had triggered her OCD

bigtime and she refused to go in the fourth day. I let her sleep and started

emailing and calling and trying to explain to the emotional support person who

is " helping " her, exactly what happened as he seemed to be clueless and had not

even noticed that she was upset and was trying to teach her not to " talk back "

when she was trying to tell him what she needed.

> >

> > Went in the next day and we toured the school, looking for a location that

might feel safe to her. Meanwhile he had lost my daughter who was wandering the

school looking for him and for her one other contact who was not in that day.

After a bit of a comedy of chasing around the school we found her and I found a

room that seemed suitable - small, with a special ed learning resource teacher

who is a math teacher (she is working on Algebra 2). This location was never

even suggested - we did not see it until I asked " aren't there some other

learning support classrooms that were mentioned in the IEP meeting? "

> >

> > I think what happened is that her IEP has labeled her as emotionally

disturbed so she was automatically shunted into the emotional support classroom

which is where the kids who are acting out are sent. On this third day, 2 kids

had come in angy and acting out and she really freaked out (she has sensory

problems, and a general sensitivity in that she picks up on other people's

feelings).

> >

> > I really hope we can salvage this and she can regroup and find a place that

feels safe to her. It just makes me grind my teeth, that there is so little

common sense from the " professionals " . In the IEP we defined exactly what she

needed! At vo tech, her regular classroom teacher who has no special ed training

has handled her beautifully and obviously really cares about her and she reponds

to that. At the high school there is this general attitude that every kid needs

to be squashed down and is a disciplinary threat. No attempt to make her feel

safe and accommodate her true needs before they assume she is going to make

trouble.

> >

> > OK - will stop ranting now.

> >

> > Sandy

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Sandy, hope things go well! I know what you mean about the " professionals.

Some of them must be parents too, I just don't see why they can't work better

with parents & student in crises like our's. Must be the ignorance about OCD.

Or that their own kids have no problems, at least not a mental illness type.

Hang in there and update us!

>

> Well - I was all excited about my daughter adding some high school time to her

school schedule. She was doing really well going to the vo tech school for

computer programming - was able to ride the bus and even eat in the cafeteria

and feels comfortable and safe there. By the third day at the high school where

she is doing a credit recovery program on a computer, they had triggered her OCD

bigtime and she refused to go in the fourth day. I let her sleep and started