Guest guest Posted April 17, 2007 Report Share Posted April 17, 2007 Oh, Crystal, I saw that story in the paper this morning. www.freep.com How sad. Look through the archives on this list (you'll have to go to the yahoo group's home page) for " death " . I have posted info in the past. The principal at that school used to be our Project Find coordinator. > > I was wondering if those on the spectrum could give me some insight. > > My daughter is 6. Yesterday one of her friends was killed. This is a friend that she plays with I'd say 5 or 6 times a year and she's known for a few years now. I told her the news, I was crying. She cried for a minute, and then was fine. I don't know how much of death she understands. She has been told that my husbands parents are in heaven, as are varoius pets of other family members. She brought it up a few times yesterday and once this morning. She looks at me and says either " Who died? " or Angel died. And then will start telling a story. I told her a bit of what happened, (we had high winds and a flag pole snapped in half and landed on her) but I don't want to be too detailed cause I don't want her afraid of windy days or flag poles. I just told her something hit her and hurt her very bad. But is it worse to be vague? > > Any thoughts or comments from anyone would be helpful. Also, I don't know any plans yet, but should I take her to a viewing or funeral? > > Thanks in advance! > > > Crystal B > http://www.myspace.com/breger3 > http://craftyrecord.blogspot.com/ > http://bethpuzzle.blogspot.com/ > 407 total skeins of yarn (all types) to go > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 17, 2007 Report Share Posted April 17, 2007 Oh, Crystal, I saw that story in the paper this morning. www.freep.com How sad. Look through the archives on this list (you'll have to go to the yahoo group's home page) for " death " . I have posted info in the past. The principal at that school used to be our Project Find coordinator. > > I was wondering if those on the spectrum could give me some insight. > > My daughter is 6. Yesterday one of her friends was killed. This is a friend that she plays with I'd say 5 or 6 times a year and she's known for a few years now. I told her the news, I was crying. She cried for a minute, and then was fine. I don't know how much of death she understands. She has been told that my husbands parents are in heaven, as are varoius pets of other family members. She brought it up a few times yesterday and once this morning. She looks at me and says either " Who died? " or Angel died. And then will start telling a story. I told her a bit of what happened, (we had high winds and a flag pole snapped in half and landed on her) but I don't want to be too detailed cause I don't want her afraid of windy days or flag poles. I just told her something hit her and hurt her very bad. But is it worse to be vague? > > Any thoughts or comments from anyone would be helpful. Also, I don't know any plans yet, but should I take her to a viewing or funeral? > > Thanks in advance! > > > Crystal B > http://www.myspace.com/breger3 > http://craftyrecord.blogspot.com/ > http://bethpuzzle.blogspot.com/ > 407 total skeins of yarn (all types) to go > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 17, 2007 Report Share Posted April 17, 2007 The flag pole was at Roosevelt primary school. Abby went to this school last year. It is a horrible story and a tragic accident. So sad. Hits home even more when it is your home district. Pennie Abby's Mom ************************************** See what's free at http://www.aol.com. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 17, 2007 Report Share Posted April 17, 2007 The flag pole was at Roosevelt primary school. Abby went to this school last year. It is a horrible story and a tragic accident. So sad. Hits home even more when it is your home district. Pennie Abby's Mom ************************************** See what's free at http://www.aol.com. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 17, 2007 Report Share Posted April 17, 2007 Crystal, is your daughter in Ferndale schools?Abby is. I know they are offering grief counceling through the school. It is a horrible thing that happened. Just plain horrible. Pennie Abby's Mom ************************************** See what's free at http://www.aol.com. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 17, 2007 Report Share Posted April 17, 2007 Crystal, is your daughter in Ferndale schools?Abby is. I know they are offering grief counceling through the school. It is a horrible thing that happened. Just plain horrible. Pennie Abby's Mom ************************************** See what's free at http://www.aol.com. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 17, 2007 Report Share Posted April 17, 2007 Crystal at age of 6 it is of okay to be of vague and not want to preset of a fear that might add to her overall stress. If she askes you can say a big old pole fell down and hit her. this wway it does not identify a source or relate it to the wind or weather. so if she ask what hit of her only reply to the question without to add details of it. Sorry to hear of htis loss. Sondra Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 17, 2007 Report Share Posted April 17, 2007 Crystal at age of 6 it is of okay to be of vague and not want to preset of a fear that might add to her overall stress. If she askes you can say a big old pole fell down and hit her. this wway it does not identify a source or relate it to the wind or weather. so if she ask what hit of her only reply to the question without to add details of it. Sorry to hear of htis loss. Sondra Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 17, 2007 Report Share Posted April 17, 2007 Thank you Sondra. Any thoughts on her attending the funeral, my husband and I just aren't sure since it's a child. She's been to funerals before, but she was younger so didn't quite know what was going on, and all the people have been adults. Actually this will be the first time I'VE had to attend a funeral for a child. We just aren't sure if it's a good idea for her to go. sondra wrote: Crystal at age of 6 it is of okay to be of vague and not want to preset of a fear that might add to her overall stress. If she askes you can say a big old pole fell down and hit her. this wway it does not identify a source or relate it to the wind or weather. so if she ask what hit of her only reply to the question without to add details of it. Sorry to hear of htis loss. Sondra Crystal B http://www.myspace.com/breger3 http://craftyrecord.blogspot.com/ http://bethpuzzle.blogspot.com/ 407 total skeins of yarn (all types) to go Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 17, 2007 Report Share Posted April 17, 2007 Thank you Sondra. Any thoughts on her attending the funeral, my husband and I just aren't sure since it's a child. She's been to funerals before, but she was younger so didn't quite know what was going on, and all the people have been adults. Actually this will be the first time I'VE had to attend a funeral for a child. We just aren't sure if it's a good idea for her to go. sondra wrote: Crystal at age of 6 it is of okay to be of vague and not want to preset of a fear that might add to her overall stress. If she askes you can say a big old pole fell down and hit her. this wway it does not identify a source or relate it to the wind or weather. so if she ask what hit of her only reply to the question without to add details of it. Sorry to hear of htis loss. Sondra Crystal B http://www.myspace.com/breger3 http://craftyrecord.blogspot.com/ http://bethpuzzle.blogspot.com/ 407 total skeins of yarn (all types) to go Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 17, 2007 Report Share Posted April 17, 2007 Thank you, I'll do that! penelope_fam wrote: Oh, Crystal, I saw that story in the paper this morning. www.freep.com How sad. Look through the archives on this list (you'll have to go to the yahoo group's home page) for " death " . I have posted info in the past. The principal at that school used to be our Project Find coordinator. > > I was wondering if those on the spectrum could give me some insight. > > My daughter is 6. Yesterday one of her friends was killed. This is a friend that she plays with I'd say 5 or 6 times a year and she's known for a few years now. I told her the news, I was crying. She cried for a minute, and then was fine. I don't know how much of death she understands. She has been told that my husbands parents are in heaven, as are varoius pets of other family members. She brought it up a few times yesterday and once this morning. She looks at me and says either " Who died? " or Angel died. And then will start telling a story. I told her a bit of what happened, (we had high winds and a flag pole snapped in half and landed on her) but I don't want to be too detailed cause I don't want her afraid of windy days or flag poles. I just told her something hit her and hurt her very bad. But is it worse to be vague? > > Any thoughts or comments from anyone would be helpful. Also, I don't know any plans yet, but should I take her to a viewing or funeral? > > Thanks in advance! > > > Crystal B > http://www.myspace.com/breger3 > http://craftyrecord.blogspot.com/ > http://bethpuzzle.blogspot.com/ > 407 total skeins of yarn (all types) to go > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 17, 2007 Report Share Posted April 17, 2007 Thank you, I'll do that! penelope_fam wrote: Oh, Crystal, I saw that story in the paper this morning. www.freep.com How sad. Look through the archives on this list (you'll have to go to the yahoo group's home page) for " death " . I have posted info in the past. The principal at that school used to be our Project Find coordinator. > > I was wondering if those on the spectrum could give me some insight. > > My daughter is 6. Yesterday one of her friends was killed. This is a friend that she plays with I'd say 5 or 6 times a year and she's known for a few years now. I told her the news, I was crying. She cried for a minute, and then was fine. I don't know how much of death she understands. She has been told that my husbands parents are in heaven, as are varoius pets of other family members. She brought it up a few times yesterday and once this morning. She looks at me and says either " Who died? " or Angel died. And then will start telling a story. I told her a bit of what happened, (we had high winds and a flag pole snapped in half and landed on her) but I don't want to be too detailed cause I don't want her afraid of windy days or flag poles. I just told her something hit her and hurt her very bad. But is it worse to be vague? > > Any thoughts or comments from anyone would be helpful. Also, I don't know any plans yet, but should I take her to a viewing or funeral? > > Thanks in advance! > > > Crystal B > http://www.myspace.com/breger3 > http://craftyrecord.blogspot.com/ > http://bethpuzzle.blogspot.com/ > 407 total skeins of yarn (all types) to go > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 17, 2007 Report Share Posted April 17, 2007 No, but I went to High school in Ferndale, so I have friends that still live there. The little girl is one of my dear friends Neice, so we would get the two together so they could play. It is horrible. She was a sweet girl. Ploveabby@... wrote: Crystal, is your daughter in Ferndale schools?Abby is. I know they are offering grief counceling through the school. It is a horrible thing that happened. Just plain horrible. Pennie Abby's Mom ************************************** See what's free at http://www.aol.com. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 17, 2007 Report Share Posted April 17, 2007 No, but I went to High school in Ferndale, so I have friends that still live there. The little girl is one of my dear friends Neice, so we would get the two together so they could play. It is horrible. She was a sweet girl. Ploveabby@... wrote: Crystal, is your daughter in Ferndale schools?Abby is. I know they are offering grief counceling through the school. It is a horrible thing that happened. Just plain horrible. Pennie Abby's Mom ************************************** See what's free at http://www.aol.com. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 17, 2007 Report Share Posted April 17, 2007 Crystal, I am in Michigan, too. We were worried about our kids on the playground yesterday with branches falling and all. But who would have imagined the flag pole snapping. It is just so sad. I don't really know what to suggest you tell your daughter. I think that what you said is fine. I don't think at 6 even a NT child needs to know all the exact details. Anyway, I am so sorry for your loss and I hope that you are able to help your daughter cope with her loss. Carol Crystal Breger wrote: I was wondering if those on the spectrum could give me some insight. My daughter is 6. Yesterday one of her friends was killed. This is a friend that she plays with I'd say 5 or 6 times a year and she's known for a few years now. I told her the news, I was crying. She cried for a minute, and then was fine. I don't know how much of death she understands. She has been told that my husbands parents are in heaven, as are varoius pets of other family members. She brought it up a few times yesterday and once this morning. She looks at me and says either " Who died? " or Angel died. And then will start telling a story. I told her a bit of what happened, (we had high winds and a flag pole snapped in half and landed on her) but I don't want to be too detailed cause I don't want her afraid of windy days or flag poles. I just told her something hit her and hurt her very bad. But is it worse to be vague? Any thoughts or comments from anyone would be helpful. Also, I don't know any plans yet, but should I take her to a viewing or funeral? Thanks in advance! Crystal B http://www.myspace.com/breger3 http://craftyrecord.blogspot.com/ http://bethpuzzle.blogspot.com/ 407 total skeins of yarn (all types) to go Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 17, 2007 Report Share Posted April 17, 2007 Crystal, I am in Michigan, too. We were worried about our kids on the playground yesterday with branches falling and all. But who would have imagined the flag pole snapping. It is just so sad. I don't really know what to suggest you tell your daughter. I think that what you said is fine. I don't think at 6 even a NT child needs to know all the exact details. Anyway, I am so sorry for your loss and I hope that you are able to help your daughter cope with her loss. Carol Crystal Breger wrote: I was wondering if those on the spectrum could give me some insight. My daughter is 6. Yesterday one of her friends was killed. This is a friend that she plays with I'd say 5 or 6 times a year and she's known for a few years now. I told her the news, I was crying. She cried for a minute, and then was fine. I don't know how much of death she understands. She has been told that my husbands parents are in heaven, as are varoius pets of other family members. She brought it up a few times yesterday and once this morning. She looks at me and says either " Who died? " or Angel died. And then will start telling a story. I told her a bit of what happened, (we had high winds and a flag pole snapped in half and landed on her) but I don't want to be too detailed cause I don't want her afraid of windy days or flag poles. I just told her something hit her and hurt her very bad. But is it worse to be vague? Any thoughts or comments from anyone would be helpful. Also, I don't know any plans yet, but should I take her to a viewing or funeral? Thanks in advance! Crystal B http://www.myspace.com/breger3 http://craftyrecord.blogspot.com/ http://bethpuzzle.blogspot.com/ 407 total skeins of yarn (all types) to go Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 17, 2007 Report Share Posted April 17, 2007 Thank you Carol Crystal B http://www.myspace.com/breger3 http://craftyrecord.blogspot.com/ http://bethpuzzle.blogspot.com/ 407 total skeins of yarn (all types) to go Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 17, 2007 Report Share Posted April 17, 2007 Thank you Carol Crystal B http://www.myspace.com/breger3 http://craftyrecord.blogspot.com/ http://bethpuzzle.blogspot.com/ 407 total skeins of yarn (all types) to go Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 18, 2007 Report Share Posted April 18, 2007 I to say if she can verbalise of it to you to ask of her if she wants to go or not and if she does not maybe as parents you can go for her and bring her back teh little card or things they have on funerals to keep instead of actually going. Sondra In Autism_in_Girls , Crystal Breger wrote: > > Thank you Sondra. > > Any thoughts on her attending the funeral, my husband and I just aren't sure since it's a child. She's been to funerals before, but she was younger so didn't quite know what was going on, and all the people have been adults. Actually this will be the first time I'VE had to attend a funeral for a child. We just aren't sure if it's a good idea for her to go. > > sondra wrote: > Crystal at age of 6 it is of okay to be of vague and not want to preset > of a fear that might add to her overall stress. If she askes you can > say a big old pole fell down and hit her. this wway it does not > identify a source or relate it to the wind or weather. so if she ask > what hit of her only reply to the question without to add details of > it. > Sorry to hear of htis loss. > Sondra > > > > > > > Crystal B > http://www.myspace.com/breger3 > http://craftyrecord.blogspot.com/ > http://bethpuzzle.blogspot.com/ > 407 total skeins of yarn (all types) to go > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 18, 2007 Report Share Posted April 18, 2007 I to say if she can verbalise of it to you to ask of her if she wants to go or not and if she does not maybe as parents you can go for her and bring her back teh little card or things they have on funerals to keep instead of actually going. Sondra In Autism_in_Girls , Crystal Breger wrote: > > Thank you Sondra. > > Any thoughts on her attending the funeral, my husband and I just aren't sure since it's a child. She's been to funerals before, but she was younger so didn't quite know what was going on, and all the people have been adults. Actually this will be the first time I'VE had to attend a funeral for a child. We just aren't sure if it's a good idea for her to go. > > sondra wrote: > Crystal at age of 6 it is of okay to be of vague and not want to preset > of a fear that might add to her overall stress. If she askes you can > say a big old pole fell down and hit her. this wway it does not > identify a source or relate it to the wind or weather. so if she ask > what hit of her only reply to the question without to add details of > it. > Sorry to hear of htis loss. > Sondra > > > > > > > Crystal B > http://www.myspace.com/breger3 > http://craftyrecord.blogspot.com/ > http://bethpuzzle.blogspot.com/ > 407 total skeins of yarn (all types) to go > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 18, 2007 Report Share Posted April 18, 2007 you must be in Michigan. My sister just told me this story today. How tragic. Another teaching moment not to take anything for granted. My condolences to you and your little girl and that family. -Dana Priscilla's mom > > I was wondering if those on the spectrum could give me some insight. > > My daughter is 6. Yesterday one of her friends was killed. This is a friend that she plays with I'd say 5 or 6 times a year and she's known for a few years now. I told her the news, I was crying. She cried for a minute, and then was fine. I don't know how much of death she understands. She has been told that my husbands parents are in heaven, as are varoius pets of other family members. She brought it up a few times yesterday and once this morning. She looks at me and says either " Who died? " or Angel died. And then will start telling a story. I told her a bit of what happened, (we had high winds and a flag pole snapped in half and landed on her) but I don't want to be too detailed cause I don't want her afraid of windy days or flag poles. I just told her something hit her and hurt her very bad. But is it worse to be vague? > > Any thoughts or comments from anyone would be helpful. Also, I don't know any plans yet, but should I take her to a viewing or funeral? > > Thanks in advance! > > > Crystal B > http://www.myspace.com/breger3 > http://craftyrecord.blogspot.com/ > http://bethpuzzle.blogspot.com/ > 407 total skeins of yarn (all types) to go > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 18, 2007 Report Share Posted April 18, 2007 you must be in Michigan. My sister just told me this story today. How tragic. Another teaching moment not to take anything for granted. My condolences to you and your little girl and that family. -Dana Priscilla's mom > > I was wondering if those on the spectrum could give me some insight. > > My daughter is 6. Yesterday one of her friends was killed. This is a friend that she plays with I'd say 5 or 6 times a year and she's known for a few years now. I told her the news, I was crying. She cried for a minute, and then was fine. I don't know how much of death she understands. She has been told that my husbands parents are in heaven, as are varoius pets of other family members. She brought it up a few times yesterday and once this morning. She looks at me and says either " Who died? " or Angel died. And then will start telling a story. I told her a bit of what happened, (we had high winds and a flag pole snapped in half and landed on her) but I don't want to be too detailed cause I don't want her afraid of windy days or flag poles. I just told her something hit her and hurt her very bad. But is it worse to be vague? > > Any thoughts or comments from anyone would be helpful. Also, I don't know any plans yet, but should I take her to a viewing or funeral? > > Thanks in advance! > > > Crystal B > http://www.myspace.com/breger3 > http://craftyrecord.blogspot.com/ > http://bethpuzzle.blogspot.com/ > 407 total skeins of yarn (all types) to go > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 18, 2007 Report Share Posted April 18, 2007 When 's aunt passed away 2 years ago Abby was VERY upset. I spoke with Abby's old preschool teacher and she brought Abby two books that were extremely helpful. One is " When Someone Dies " by Sharon Greenlee and the other book is called " The next place " by Warren Hanson. Both are very good but Abby really liked " When someone dies. " Perhaps these are books that would help. Pennie Abby's Mom ************************************** See what's free at http://www.aol.com. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 18, 2007 Report Share Posted April 18, 2007 When 's aunt passed away 2 years ago Abby was VERY upset. I spoke with Abby's old preschool teacher and she brought Abby two books that were extremely helpful. One is " When Someone Dies " by Sharon Greenlee and the other book is called " The next place " by Warren Hanson. Both are very good but Abby really liked " When someone dies. " Perhaps these are books that would help. Pennie Abby's Mom ************************************** See what's free at http://www.aol.com. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 18, 2007 Report Share Posted April 18, 2007 Death is part of life. At age 8 I had to cope with the death of my grandmother. My mother was very wise. I would suggest, truly, that if you want your daughter to have the chance to say goodbye without having too disturbing an experience, you might consider what Mom did for me - the possibility of only attending one of the viewings. You can take your time, answer your daughter's questions, concerns, fears, say a prayer. You'll be able to only approach as close as she wants, and leave without problem when she needs to. Sandi Houston In a message dated 4/17/2007 3:37:04 P.M. Central Daylight Time, breger3@... writes: Any thoughts on her attending the funeral, my husband and I just aren't sure since it's a child. She's been to funerals before, but she was younger so didn't quite know what was going on, and all the people have been adults. Actually this will be the first time I'VE had to attend a funeral for a child. We just aren't sure if it's a good idea for her to go. ************************************** See what's free at http://www.aol.com. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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